Don't Touch Me
by Soul Flash
Summary: When your life hits an all time low, things can't possibly get any worse, right? Not for Kyle Broflovski. Slash, Kyle/Cartman.
1. Dear Journal, I'm Insane

Hey there! So yeah, I just recently got into South Park a few months ago and immediately saw Kyle/Cartman as a plausible pairing. I'm kinda into that whole love/hate thing. Anyway, I've read pretty much all of the fics out there about these two (and they're all awesome; sorry I haven't reviewed any yet since I just got an account a few days ago), but it wasn't enough so I decided I could write my own. Contribute to the community, you know? Because in my opinion there's not enough Kyle/Cartman out there. So here's my share!

Just note that I started this from complete scratch, no plot in my mind whatsoever, so if the content seems a little dry or unstable it's because I just jumped right into it. I've probably changed this whole chapter at least ten times(couldn't decide on Kyle's problem or the tense) and I still don't know if I really like it. Heck, it may not even make sense. That's what I get for diving in head first.

Title inspired by episode 1201. I swear.

Hope you guys enjoy!

Warnings: An extremely sarcastic Kyle. But can you blame him? His life sucks.

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or and of its characters. I'm just borrowing them for the entertainment of others. And myself.

* * *

My life is screwed up to say the least. You'd think that living in a simple mountain town in Colorado would provide you with a life devoid of the dangerous shenanigans that a city could snare you into.

Wrong.

My name is Kyle Broflovski. I'm seventeen years old and a junior at South Park High. My life has been anything but normal and I'm afraid it's going to stay that way.

Every night I face the same problem. Lack of sleep.

Why you ask? Anxiety.

You see, I've recently discovered something about me that's been keeping me up every night for the past three months either with concern for my future or complete confusion. And because I can't fall asleep that means I do a little bit worse in school everyday -since I can't keep my eyes open for more than five minutes- which results in my mother's constant nagging and extreme punishment.

By extreme punishment I mean shoveling snow for the next month.

It really sucks sometimes.

But such is my life. Another problem added to the stack. At least I don't have AIDS or something.

Of course, I've _had_ AIDS before... but that's beside the point.

So here I am again, the same as every night. Wide awake in my bed with thoughts racing through my mind at a million miles an hour.

I chance a look at the clock and wince. A quarter past midnight and I have yet to fall asleep. I sigh irritably, flipping over again so that my back is to it.

Out of sight, out of mind, right?

Let's see... tomorrow's Thursday which means another day of school; my stomach churns painfully at the thought.

I tug lightly at my hair in annoyance. Each day I dread going to school a little bit more, and I'll be damned if I make it through this year in one piece. Not to mention I have one more year to go before graduating. Graduating and getting the hell out of this mountain town, away from my demanding parents, nosy brother, and the anti-Semitic bastard that hasn't grown up since the fourth grade...

Sounds like a dream. Especially that last part. A far away dream, but a dream nonetheless.

I shift positions again to my stomach, dread growing inside me as I face the clock once more. 12:23.

What?! Oh, of course! This is hopeless.

Completely. Hopeless.

I glare angrily at my clock, hoping that it might rewind itself about two hours.

_Stupid clock. You and your fluorescent red numbers; laughing at me; _taunting_ me. "Haha, poor Kyle! You have school tomorrow and you can't sleep, nya nya nya nya nya nyah!" Just like him. With his crude jabs at my religion, demeaning cracks, humiliating tricks and pranks-_

A notebook on my nightstand catches my eye, halting my rant abruptly. Now that I think about it my dad mentioned once that when you can't get to sleep it sometimes helps to write your foremost thoughts down. More like when something is troubling you, but it might work anyway.

It couldn't hurt to try.

I reach over to turn the lamp on and place the notebook on my lap, pen in hand. I open it up to a blank page and start writing.

_I'm just your normal seventeen year old boy. Well, almost normal. Earlier this year, I came to terms with myself on something._

I pause here, second guessing myself on what I'm about to write. Something in the back of my mind is telling me this isn't such a good idea.

I shake my head and continue writing.

_I'm gay. Homosexual. I like guys. Not girls. Guys. Well, more like one guy in particular._

I stop immediately. Where in the _hell_ did that come from? If that's not a Freudian slip of the mind then I don't know what is.

A sharp, nauseating pain forms in my stomach. Perhaps I have a strange urge to make myself sick? It's working, that's for sure.

_Just relax, it'll go away soon, it'll leave; just think of how terrible that is; how much more miserable you would be if that ever_ _happens..._

Oh good, it's gone now. Much better.

I breathe a sigh of relief, staring stupidly at what I just wrote down. Scratch it out? Yeah, that sounds good.

Okay. Going on.

_I haven't told anyone that I'm gay yet. That's just crazy. Like asking your mom to show your baby pictures to all your friends or something. _

_Plus I'm not completely sure how this kind of thing is treated amongst my peers, and I'd rather not find out. So really no one should know, right? Right. At least, not until high school is over and we're all ready to move on in our lives likely to never see each other again unless we keep in touch. _

_Sure, my parents will probably find out someday, but not until I'm officially moved out and have a place of my own. Far away. Very far away. God knows my mom would blow a gasket if she knew I was gay._

I subconsciously nod to myself. So true.

Damn, time goes by fast. The clock says 12:58 now, but I honestly don't care. I'm actually getting into this.

_I might tell my friend Stan, too. He's__ my best friend after all. I'm sure he would be pretty cool with it no matter what. He'd be too concerned with his girlfriend to really care anyway. _

_He's a good shoulder to lean on and it probably wouldn't matter who knew as long as he was still my friend after the fact... _

_Except for one person in particular. The one that's made my life a living hell since day one._

I don't waste any effort in writing the name down. If anyone reads this(not that I'm going to _ever_ let this notebook out of my sight, considering I've just spilled my innermost secret in it) they would know exactly who I'm referring to. The name doesn't deserve my effort in writing anyway whether it was in this stream of conscious writing or an ongoing rant of what a manipulative, anti-Semitic bastard he is.

I take that subject off my mind as quickly as I can. I don't really feel like spoiling the good mood I've put myself into by doing this. Who knew I could calm myself by writing my woes in a... journal? Sure, I'll call it that. There's no way in hell I'm calling it a diary. I may be gay, but I'm not a girl.

But really, I do feel better somehow though I'm not sure why. I still don't have any ideas on how to approach my problem.

Perhaps I'm taking comfort in the fact that, considering I do come out, nobody will touch me as long as Stan's there to back me up. No one was going to mess with the star quarterback's best friend even if he wasn't straight.

But I don't take comfort in the thought of Stan as something to hide behind. He's a human being, not a shield. Besides, he won't be here forever. Although we're super best friends, graduating and going to college to start the rest of our lives is eventually going to end in us breaking our friendship off somewhere. That's just a fact of life.

Oh well. I feel better and that's all that matters to me right now. I'll worry about that later.

I yawn... wait, what? Yawn? Am I actually feeling _tired_ for the first time in months? Looks like it.

I'm feeling ecstatic now, so I toss the notebook absently on the floor and hop up to shut the window that I had opened earlier in hopes of calming my nerves. It didn't work, and now my room feels like a freezer. Bad idea that was.

It's snowing lightly outside. Aaaand there's the driveway completely covered in the stupid stuff.

Of course. I feel so reassured knowing I can look forward to shoveling snow in the morning before school after about five hours of sleep.

Oh, wait. What am I saying? It's that way everyday. Yes, winter in Colorado is a bitch.

I notice my car is covered, too. Wonderful.

I sigh and rest my arms on the windowsill. Why do I live in this quiet, redneck mountain town again? Oh, right. Because cities 'taint our fragile minds' or something like that. That's what mom says and what she says goes. Really, I love her and all because she's my mom, but sometimes she gets a little out of hand.

Sometimes. Right.

I close the window with a firm thump, but before I can return to my bed for some much needed rest, something catches my eye.

There's something rustling in the bushes below my window. A cat? Most likely.

My curiosity is sparked for some reason.

A few seconds later, something comes out and... it's not a cat.

It's a... person? Are they nuts, what time... 1:17. In the _morning_. Who in the hell would be out at this time, let alone at my hou...se...

_No_. Nonono. It _can't_ be. Why? What have I done this time to... what could _he_ possibly want from...? _What?_

Oh my _God..._. No. Is that a _video camera_?

I nearly faint rushing to the bathroom to duke it out with my stomach.

Looks like I'm not getting much sleep tonight.

I hate that bastard so much.

* * *

Right, so I'll have the next chapter up ASAP. I'm leaving Wednesday(great time to start a fic right before you leave on a trip; nice going, Soul!), so I don't know when that'll be. Sorry about that.

I have a few ideas for next chapter, so hopefully it'll produce itself faster and I can have it out to you guys soon.

I'll leave you guys with that for now. See you next time!

Drop a review by if you liked it and think it has any potential at all!

-Soul


	2. My Life For Your Entertainment

Hey there again! Sorry for the long wait. I've been busy since I got back, but I did manage to finish this chapter finally. And I'm putting it up pronto because I know you've been waiting days for it to be posted. Of course, I've been looking over this thing for the past few hours it seems so there's bound to be a mistake or two. I apologize for that in advance. And if there aren't any, then cool!

Anyway, enjoy!

Warnings: A very cocky Kyle and kinda stupid Stan. Sorry, but he had the perfect setup for it. You'll see.

Disclaimer: Still don't own SP.

* * *

To say I'm confused is an understatement.

As I walk through the hall to my locker, twenty minutes before class, I still can't shake the images of what happened last night.

Cartman; at my house; with a video camera; at one in the morning.

I'm pretty convinced that he's working on some scheme to either humiliate me or blackmail me into something. That's the only reason he'd do something as extreme as what he did. Of course, Cartman has his own league of extreme; I don't know why I'm so shocked.

He has some kind of trick up his sleeve, that's for sure. I can tell by the way he's eying me from across the hall, Butters chatting away next to him with no knowledge at all that he's in a one-sided conversation. Poor guy. He'll never get the hint. But whatever.

Back to my problem.

He's afraid of getting caught.

I'm well aware of it, and I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of knowing he's off the hook. There are too many things he's gotten away with before, and I won't let it happen again.

His little game is over.

I slam my locker shut and storm over to where he's standing just a few feet away, flames dancing in my eyes.

He raises an eyebrow in acknowledgment of my presence, but makes no move to get away.

"What do you want, Jew?"

He's playing it cool, but I'm not fooled. Anyone else he could feign innocence with -Butters here being a prime example- but not me.

"What in the hell were you doing at my house last night with a video camera, fatass?"

Of course, the insult doesn't really mean more than just an insult these days. He slimmed down considerably when he started playing basketball in seventh grade and has stayed that way ever since. He's all muscle now and could easily put me in a stranglehold if he wanted to.

He falters for a second, but his years of struggling under pressure have made him sly and he quickly regains his collected composure.

"What in the hell are you talking about? I was at _my_ house last night. _Asleep_."

There he goes again, talking to me like I'm insane. My temper is starting to flare. I can't talk to this guy for five seconds without the risk of popping a blood vessel.

I'm not going to quit until I get some kind of reaction out of him, though. I'll fight tooth and nail to know why he did what he did.

"Don't play stupid with me, Cartman! You know very well what I'm talking about! You were at _my_ house last night at nearly one-thirty in the morning with a video camera for God knows what reason, and raced out of my bushes when you heard my window close leaving me to find the ladder that you used to climb up to my window laying against the side of my house this morning!"

I pant harshly as my anger peaks out. My outburst has probably attracted the attention of the whole school, but I don't really care right now. They always expect a fight between me and Cartman during some part of their school day anyway; the show's just playing early today. Besides, I think I've got him. I know I do.

He stares for the longest time, mouth agape, mimicking the look of several people around us. All eyes are focused on him as we await his response.

Ha, if he even has one.

I can't hold back my grin; this is just too great. I finally have him. I've beaten him at his own stupid game. He just shakes his head in disbelief, not saying a word. He can't. He can't handle the fact that I've finally beaten him. I feel my body is about to explode from extreme joy.

He stutters, finally finding his voice. I'm eager to hear his reply. This is bound to be good.

"I...I can't believe you...," Thought so. "Y-you sneaky little Jew-rat!"

Wait, what?

"Did it take you a week to come up with that lie?! A monkey could come up with a better lie than that! At least plan one out before you try and start shit with me."

He turns around and leaves.

I'm frozen where I stand, my mind trying so hard to process what just happened.

I can't speak. The one time I really need my voice, it decides to leave me. As if things couldn't get worse, I look to my friends for any hope of them backing me up, but they all just turn around and leave, disappointed that there isn't going to be a fight after all. It was all just a tease.

Just like he is. A tease. Just when I think I've broken him, he strikes back twice as strong.

He knew what I was feeling in my short moment of glory. He's known for thirteen years.

He knows me inside and out; he knew just a second ago that I would react like that, so he used that to his advantage. Turned it right back on me. He made me look like the fool when that's what I was trying to do to him all along.

And it happens that way every single time. I fall for his bait no matter when, where, or how.

I'm like an open book to him.

I'm too predictable and he's too slick.

I'm the puppet and he's the puppet master.

I finally get it now. I'll never win.

Never.

The bell rings.

Goddammit.

* * *

"What was going on back there, dude?" Stan asks in a low whisper, leaning as close to my desk as possible.

We're in the middle of English and have been given the whole class to quietly read. Of course, Stan's not really interested in doing that hence why he's talking to me.

I whisper back, "The usual. Cartman's up to his usual tricks again."

I glance to the front of the class. I won't forgive him if the teacher catches us. She has a strict no talking policy during reading times and she's shown it plenty of times before. But we're in the back of the class, so hopefully we'll be safe.

Besides, he's saving me from the boredom of just sitting here. I've already finished the book and really have nothing else to do. I'll take the risk.

He gives me a slightly confused look.

"Really? How do you know?"

"He was at my house last night at one in the freaking morning. What else could he be doing besides perfecting an elaborate scheme to throw on me? I saw him sneaking out of my bushes when I got up to close my window."

His eyebrows furrow in further confusion. Good, he realizes how strange this is. Glad to know I'm not the only one who's baffled.

"Wait, what were you doing up at one in the morning?"

His question throws me for a loop.

I shake my head, replying in a harsh whisper, "Stan, does that really matter? We're talking about _Cartman_ here, Eric _fucking_ Cartman, at my house at _one in the morning_."

My reply is so sharp that he pulls back with a look of hurt on his face. It's more playful than anything, but I still feel kind of bad.

"I'm just wondering," he replies honestly.

I sigh. It won't hurt to tell him. I said that I might tell him someday anyway, so why not now?

"Well, the truth is," I start as he leans back in, "I was, like every night, worrying about coming out."

I make extra sure to whisper the last part as quiet as I can so no one but Stan can hear me.

"Coming out?" he asks, "Of what?"

I nearly slam my head on my desk. He can't make this easy, can he?

I give it to him straight, again as quiet as possible.

"Stan, I'm gay."

He pauses for a second; then it sinks in.

"Ohhh...,"

I nod.

Suddenly he becomes apprehensive while still managing a whisper.

"Kyle, dude, I didn't know! I hope you know that I still think you're a cool guy and you'll always be my super best friend no matter what-"

"Yeah dude, I know." I decide to save him the mushy speech he was about to pull on me there. "I already assured myself of that."

He relaxes a bit, relieved.

"Okay, cool. So anyway, back to last night. Are you really sure Cartman's up to something?"

I can't believe he's asking such a thing.

"Well, yeah. Like I said, what other reason would he have?"

He glances to his left for a few seconds before turning back to face me.

"Yeah, I guess he has something up his sleeve. That would explain why he's been eying you like a freaking hawk for the past week."

My heart stops working.

"_What?_"

"He hasn't stopped watching you. It's like everywhere you go, his eye follows. I wouldn't be surprised if he's been writing down every move you make."

All of a sudden my head feels really light. Like all of the blood has been drained from my body. What could be creepier than having Eric Cartman mark down your every move?

Stan's looking to his left again, and my gaze follows his. Sure enough, there's Cartman sitting at his desk glaring daggers at me. His eyes narrow dangerously when my gaze catches his.

I feel like I'm about to throw up.

Scrambling out of my seat, I quickly yell 'bathroom!' and bolt out of the classroom without looking back.

Things can't get any worse than this.

* * *

Told you Stan had the perfect setup for the coming out thing. I just had to do it.

And of course things are going to get worse for Kyle, but you already knew that didn't you? ;D

I won't tell you exactly how, though because what would be the fun in that?

Next chapter will probably be up soon, so keep your eye out for it. No more vacations for me, so I'll probably be fairly consistent from now on in my updating. That might change when I start school, though. We'll see.

Hope you enjoyed! 'Til next time!

-Soul


	3. I Think We Have An Emergency

Woo hoo, next chapter! Already? Yeah, damn straight already. Ha, I have almost no clue where this is going. But I've mentioned that before, haven't I? I'm just going with whatever comes out of my mind. Christ, I'm hyper. I guess I'm just stoked that I came up with something sorta fast. The other two took me awhile it seemed. Plus, it's my birthday. Or was. It's really the next day now. Whatever.

Enjoy!

Warnings: More cynical Kyle. Credit to mango-quincy for that description. :D Paranoid Kyle, too. He's getting a bit ridiculous, really.

Disclaimer: Yeah, I know. Don't remind me. The animation's all crappy anyway. ;)

* * *

Okay, scratch that.

Things _can_ get worse.

Much worse.

And it will only continue to get worse.

Ah, you're nosy, aren't you? You're just dying to know how my life's been screwed up now, right?

Well, calm down. I'll tell you. But you have to lean in close.

Closer...

Closer...

This is between you and me, okay? Okay. Pinky swear? Good.

Ready for it?

All right...

Listen very closely now because I'm only telling you once...

ERIC CARTMAN HAS MY FUCKING JOURNAL!!!

Well, I'm sorry but you were _so_ eager to know. That's what you get.

How, you ask? Oh my God, are you kidding- How _else_ do you think?!

I ran out of English because I was about to throw up, right? Right, well since I spent the rest of class in the bathroom puking my guts out, I figured that I could just pick up my stuff from Stan later at lunch or something. But somehow, in some twisted form of fate, Cartman beat him to it and generously -yeah, I know, isn't that a shocker?- offered it back to me before lunch.

Yeah, I know, you'd think he'd have 'lunch' on the top of his list of things to do and 'give Kyle his books back after class because he ran out sick' on... well, I don't think that would go on any list of his.

But that's how it happened. It couldn't have gone any other way because I've been in my room searching for the damn thing for the past hour and haven't seen anyone sneak in, so it's not like he sneaked in after school and snatched it.

That obviously means that I accidentally brought it along with me to school with my other notebooks and had it with me up until the point where I left class.

...And he managed to grab it before Stan could.

By now he's probably read over it at least seventeen times, laughing a little more maniacally each time, and now has a plan to spread the word to the entire school. I won't be surprised if he comes on tomorrow's morning announcements with the 'good news'.

Pretty soon everyone will know that I'm gay.

Aw, what do you mean, 'oh that journal'?! What freaking journal were you thinking of?!

Jesus Christ...

"Kyle, bubbe, dinner's ready!"

Oh well. Maybe I'll feel better after dinner. I do need to take my insulin. I'm probably just irritated because my blood sugar's high.

We'll just have to see what happens tomorrow.

F my life.

* * *

All right. Here I am at school again.

Take a deep breath...

Let's see what he has in store for me.

I'm ready.

Well, not really, but I have to go to class regardless. I'll have worse things to worry about if I don't.

I walk into the school, bracing myself for the worst.

"Hey, Kyle. What's up?"

Okay, here it is...! No? It's just Stan.

"Hey, dude." I answer pretty absentmindedly. He spots Wendy and immediately goes to join her, calling out a quick goodbye that I don't really notice.

I look around, but there aren't any blank or hateful stares at me. In fact, it looks pretty normal.

Hmm... looks like he's taking the announcement route. Those aren't until third period. Maybe I can try to stop him. I don't know how, but I've gotta try.

One problem, though. He's nowhere in sight.

Damn. He's probably either skipping the first two periods at home or somewhere else in the school. I can't risk doing the same. I'll just have to search for him during the passing periods and try to negotiate with him or something.

So the question is, where could he be hiding?

If he's at home, I'm pretty screwed.

If he's here, though, he'll either be in one of the bathrooms, somewhere at the back of the school, or possibly in the janitor's closet.

No, trust me. He has his ways.

The bathrooms should be fairly easy to check, all I have to do is get a pass. The other two I'll have to get lucky with.

I hear the bell ring and head for class.

The game begins.

* * *

Two periods down and nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I'm feeling sick.

Well, I managed to get out of the first two periods on various occasions, but haven't found a single trace of him yet. I've practically searched the entire school, and he's not anywhere. He wasn't in class like I was hoping and now with third period starting in two minutes, I'm pretty much screwed.

I'm considering just ditching class. I mean, Calculus isn't that important, right? Right?

Haha, of course it is. Not to mention my mom'll blow a fuse if I skip.

Hmm...

Humiliation and possible shunning or getting grounded for the year; shunning or grounding; shunning or grounding...

I suppose I'll just have to-

"Kyle! Thank God I found you! I need your help, bad!"

I'm yanked quickly into the nearest bathroom, barely realizing what's going on. My captor is none other than Stan.

"Dude, what's going on?" I ask. He looks frantic and as his best friend I'm concerned that something serious has just happened.

"It's about Wendy."

Oh. I guess they broke up again? I swear, I deal with the brunt of their break ups almost as much as I deal with my mom's constant nagging about grades and college.

I sigh and pat his shoulder. "It's okay, dude. She doesn't deserve you anyway."

He shakes his head. "No, we didn't break up."

Oops. Guess I kinda jumped the gun there.

The tardy bell rings. Shit.

"Stan, I'm sorry but I need to get to class. I really can't afford to skip." And I mean really.

"Please, just hear me out."

He begs, playing the puppy dog eyes card. Great, now I feel bad.

"Okay," I comply, slightly miffed. There's probably no saving my skin now anyway. I'll be a good friend.

"I need help on getting her an anniversary present."

I pause for a moment, astounded. "Dude. You've been with her for years. Why are you asking for advice on this now, and why are you asking me? I don't have any experience with that."

"Well, I've never gotten her something that's really worth much. I wanna make it special since we're still together. And I dunno..., you're my best friend and you're smart, so I thought you'd have a good idea."

I'll admit I'm pretty touched. When he says stuff like that I can't stay mad at him. I've completely forgotten the fact that he's the one who dragged me in here and made me miss class and the-

"Oh no! The announcements!!!"

I race out of the bathroom. They've already started.

"...meeting will be in the gymnasium this Thursday at six..."

Maybe if I'm fast enough, I'll be able to catch him. Take a left around here and head straight... damn, it wouldn't be as bad if the freaking office wasn't on the other side of the school!

"...now a special announcement from..."

Oh no. No no no... That has to be it. I'm too late.

My feet slow to a stop, and I stand defeated in the hallway. My arms hang limply at my sides. The only thing that I feel working still is my heart, and it's going to kill me considering how fast it's beating right now. My stomach sinks as I lean against the wall for support.

I don't want to listen, but it's all I can do now.

"...m'kay, is coming up next week. Students will be chosen to..."

Wait a minute. That's not him, that's Mr. Mackey. Oh, what a relief. But they aren't done yet, are they? He's probably up next.

Oh man...

"That will be all."

Click.

Silence.

_That will be all... _

That's... all...? They're over?

They're over! Oh my God, they're _over_!

My face is starting to cramp because I'm smiling so wide. I place a hand over my racing heart, feeling the most relieved I ever have in my life.

But what happened with Cartman? Did he figure it wasn't the trouble? Or... does he have something worse planned for me?

No, I don't want to think about that. I'll jinx myself. Besides, I should be happy that he skipped probably the easiest chance to broadcast my secret out to the school.

I guess I could head back to class now and try to explain to the teacher why I'm... eleven minutes late. Ah, but what can I say? I'm not good at making up excuses unlike fatass. I've never skipped class before.

Clonk.

I jump. That sounded like a piano. But there's no piano around. Well, except that old abandoned music room. But no one ever goes in there anymore, so nothing could have...

Ding.

Aha...

I rush over to the door and crack it open further.

Speak of the devil.

"Cartman? What are you doing in here?"

He looks up sharply and, seeing me, jumps out of his seat, landing on the floor with a thud.

Wow. Guess I startled him.

"I should be asking you the same thing, Jew." he barks back, scrambling back onto the piano bench awkwardly, stuffing things hastily into his bag.

I chuckle in good natured amusement of his clumsiness, but it's quickly reversed to anger when I spot the source of my problems in his hands.

"Hey, you jerk! Give that back!" Huh, is it just me or was that insult a little weak?

He perks up and smirks deviously, waving the notebook teasingly from where he sits.

"And why should I do that?"

"Because it belongs to me!"

He frowns. "What's in it for me if I _do_ give it back, huh?"

Argh, that asshole! There he goes again with his selfish crap! Doesn't he think of anyone other than himself?!

"Nothing good, that's what." He stands and approaches me slowly. "I'll just be giving you the chance to make up more hexes to put on me and make me more confused than I am right now."

...

"What?"

"Don't try and fool me! I know Jew magic when I see it!"

"What the hell are you talking about?! Where exactly did you come up with this Jew magic shit?! I don't even know what it is!"

"It's the magic that you use on me to make me disoriented and make me think and feel things I wouldn't normally, just for some kind of sick laugh!"

"You dumbass, magic isn't even real!"

"Yes it is! How do you explain us predicting all that stuff back in fourth grade?!"

"Gah, that's telepathy! It's not the same! And it's not real either!"

"Well, I'm sorry, how would I know?! Your Jew magic is obviously working well since I can't tell the difference!"

"Would you stop it with that? I haven't done a single thing! I don't go out of my way to make your life hell like you do to me! I try to act nice to you, to be your friend, not pester you! We would actually _be_ friends if you didn't constantly belittle my people and drive me insane!"

His face shifts noticeably, like he's realized something.

He closes his eyes for a second, then turns and picks up his bag, grumbling, "I don't have time for this." He begins to walk out but pauses to shove the notebook roughly into my hands. "Take it back. I don't need it. Hopefully that will stop your stupid bitching."

As he storms out, I swear I can see a light blush on his cheeks.

What the hell is wrong with him?

* * *

There you have it! Not really much for me to say here. It is what it is.

Next chapter will be up soon, I promise. Hope I didn't surprise you guys with this one because I kinda came up with it fast(or at least I think so). I know a few of you were shocked on my last update. But I guess that's really a good thing, right? :D

If there's confusion/mistakes let me know. There may be some glitches in here, but I'm pretty sure it's okay.

See ya next time!

-Soul


	4. Decode

Yup, that's right. Another chapter already. Man, I feel drained for some reason. I'll say that I don't really think this chapter is my best. But hey, they can't all be, right? The thing is it just feels a little rushed and I feel like I wrote Kyle different in this chapter for some reason. But it's real late right now and that may just be the exhaustion in me speaking.

As always, enjoy!

Warnings: I already mentioned that Kyle doesn't seem the same to me, but I'll let you be the judge. Plus, probably something a lot of you have been waiting for is at the end. I wasn't sure I wanted it to come up this fast, but I think it's okay. I've finally come up with some sort of plot/conflict thing to keep this baby going, so it should work out pretty well. Just brace yourselves for it, especially if you're a big squealer. You may not even squeal, but I'm just warning you now. ;D

* * *

Nothing has been going my way today.

Sure, I'm safe from utter humiliation, but I had to face the fact that I skipped a class -which my teacher was not happy with, and is something I'll never be able to live down- and now will probably have to face the wrath of my mom when I get home.

Let's not mention the fact that a certain someone hasn't kept his eye off of me all day.

Scary.

The weird thing is, the look that he's giving me isn't a death glare like the one he had in English class. It's really almost pensive. Like he's trying to piece something together. I can't imagine what. There's nothing special about me.

I'm just me. A normal, goody-two-shoes Jewish boy who just so happens to be gay.

Ah, now that I think about it maybe he's just trying to grasp the fact that I'm like that. Perhaps it's still such a shock to him that he hasn't had the time to devise any plans to use it against me. That would be such a relief to me, you don't even know.

But even if it is shocking news to him, he's being a bit dramatic about it. There isn't anything that special about what I wrote.

Unless...

Maybe he saw that one sentence and is trying to figure out who it is...? Or worse: knows who it is.

Man, my face just got hot all of a sudden. Didn't we agree that weren't going to think about that again?

I'm positive I scratched that part out, though. Here, let me check, I have it right here.

Yeah, now here's something I really don't get: the fact that he willingly gave the journal back to me. That's just so unlike him.

I'll never understand him and his motives.

Okay, flip a few pages... it should be around here...

Wait a minute, what in the heck was that?

I turn back a few pages, noticing something that I don't remember writing.

It looks like... notes and lyrics to a song? Some kind of love song no less.

What? I don't write music. Why is this in here?

I flip through more pages covered with remarks such as 'Jews are lame' and realize something devastating.

This isn't my notebook.

Oh my _God_...

That son of a bitch.

That son of a freaking bitch.

My eyes fly straight up to meet with his. All the world melts away -the classroom, the teacher, the students- until it's just me and him left.

I know that he knows I've realized what's happened because he takes one look at the notebook in my hands and his whole composure changes from thought to fear. Our roles are reversed if only for this one moment.

I'm the cat and he's the mouse.

I stiffly point to him, me, and then the door to the classroom, mouthing silently what would have danger slathered all over it if I was speaking:

You. Me. After class.

He simply stares back. I can care less if he responds or not.

I'm beating him to the door when that bell rings. No. Matter. What.

* * *

My foots taps impatiently against the floor. When is he going to come out?

I turn my head back, keeping my arms crossed, and scan the room.

He's still in there talking to Butters.

Moron. How long does he think he can stall?

Whatever. Let him. He'll crack soon anyway. It's lunchtime and I think I've got him beat when it comes to skipping a meal. And since it's thirty minutes long, I'm good on time.

After an eternity, Butters walks out and stops to greet me.

"Well, uh hey there Kyle. Eric said th-that he'll be out in a second."

"Great. I've been waiting quite awhile."

"Yeah, well, he wanted me uh to tell you that he's uh, uh-real sorry and hopes you're not...too sore at him."

God, where in the hell does this asshole get off using Butters as his own personal messenger? Can't he just say it to my face? He's so shallow sometimes, I don't believe he's even human.

I'm so deep into my anger that I nearly miss him as he sneaks by me, heading for the lunchroom.

"Oh no, you're not going anywhere, fatass." I catch his sleeve, tugging him backwards.

Butters looks back and forth between the two of us anxiously, fiddling with his hands.

"Whu-gee, Eric. Does this mean I can go to lunch now?"

Ugh, I should have guessed. Butters was merely a distraction so that he could get away.

He sighs in a defeated manner and waves his hand in a shooing manner. "Yeah, yeah, get the hell out of here, Butters."

Butters nods and quickly walks off toward the cafeteria.

The only ones left in the hallway are the two of us. We're completely alone. It's not really my preference because he could quite well pull a fast one on me, but I'm honestly not that worried. For some reason he hasn't been as mean to me lately. Call me crazy, but it's almost as if he's trying to be nice to me.

Eric Cartman nice to me, Kyle Broflovski. Right.

"What the hell is your problem, Jew?"

Though I really wish he would stop playing this game with me. It's really getting on my last nerve.

"I'm only going to say this once," I ground out through clenched teeth, "Give me my notebook back."

He holds his hands up in surrender.

"Look, this is all a big mistake. I'm sure you know that's my notebook you have."

"I'm very aware."

"Right, see, I really didn't mean to give you that. I just kind of freaked and gave you that without thinking."

He's thrown me off the trail by saying that.

"Why?"

"Because you were being a little whiny Jew bitch and wouldn't shut up-"

"No, why did you freak out?!"

I'm about to lose it. He better watch what he says.

And maybe he's about to start. As soon as I bark out that question, he freezes and pales a little. This is new. There must be something big up his sleeve if he's reacting like this.

"That's none of your business."

His eyes fall to the floor and stay there. I know now that I'm not going to get a straight answer out of him, so I'm not even going to try. Heck, I wouldn't get an answer out of him even if I tied him to a chair and threatened to electrocute him.

"Fine. I don't really care."

That's not completely true. I'm just a little curious. What could possibly freak him out enough to the point where he hands me the wrong notebook? Not to mention it looked like he was blushing when he walked out.

Just what is going on with him?

"Just give me my notebook back."

I hold my hand out for him to obey my command, but he just looks up again.

"I don't have it."

...

"What did you just say?"

I can't believe he thinks this is funny.

"I-I don't have it, honest."

Honest. Ha. If this wasn't Cartman, I would say that he was being genuine here. I would believe him.

But that's not the case.

He continues through my silence.

"Look, let's just put this whole thing behind us. You give me my notebook back, we go grab some lunch, and we forget this whole thing ever happened."

It doesn't take me two seconds to come up with my answer.

"No."

"But why? I have nothing to give you!"

I stiffen and look him square in the eye, trying to be as intimidating as possible even though I'm about three inches shorter than he is and a stick compared.

"Because I am _sick_ and _tired_ of playing your little mind games; because I've had _enough_ of you ripping on me for being a Jew and belittling Jewish people in general; because you've been making my life a _living hell_ since the day I met you; because you'll _always_ be the same racist bigot who only looks out for _himself_ and will never be capable of caring for anyone else!"

"Don't talk like you know me, Jew!"

"Well, it's not like you know _me_ considering you seem to think that my name is 'Jew'!"

"At least it's true!"

"What I said about you was completely true, too, you bastard!"

"So what? That's still doesn't mean you know anything about me!"

"Please, I probably know you better than I know myself! It's not hard to read you!"

"Like you're any different!"

"At least I'm caring and compassionate!"

"Who said I'm not compassionate?!"

"Don't give me that crap! You couldn't care for anyone even if you tried! Love and compassion is something completely foreign to you and always will be!"

The shouting match pauses there. Time almost seems to freeze as we both stand in the hall, staring each other down.

Suddenly, he steps forward, a dark look on his face. He grabs my hand that's holding his notebook and doesn't let go. He leans in close to my face and I swear my heart stops beating.

"Say that again and I'll break your arm in half."

I gulp.

There are times when Eric Cartman is bullshitting a threat, and there are times when he's dead serious.

He's dead serious.

My heart picks up again as he leans in closer, reaching around to whisper softly in my ear. His tone softens a little, but it still has that dangerous edge that's sending shivers up and down my spine.

"You. Don't. Know. Me."

I can't say why, but as he breathes those words into my ear my whole body starts acting funny. In those few seconds my face manages to heat up, my body temperature spikes to what I'm sure is abnormal, my heart starts to beat irregularly, and my legs feel like they're about to give.

Sure, he's never been this close to me before, but I wouldn't think that I'd react they way I'm reacting right now.

Why is this happening?

As much as I'd like to figure that out, I'm more concerned with keeping myself up. For some reason my legs feel like they're getting weaker and weaker, and I'm afraid I'll fall on the floor if I don't do something about it fast. My mind feels so numb, it's like I'm in my own world.

I think I can hear Cartman calling my name, but I don't really care about him right now.

I think I'm seriously sick-

* * *

Nnh, everything's black.

Is this a dream? I don't remember falling asleep. I don't remember anything, really. My mind just feels... totally blank.

There's something warm and soft pressed against my forehead. It feels kinda nice. Comforting.

As soon as I feel it there, it's gone. I'm not sure why, but I feel empty as it leaves. My heart's yearning for it to come back.

I mangage to finally open my eyes and find myself in the nurse's office.

Wait, the nurse's office?!

Whoa, I must have fainted.

But why did I faint? I don't faint very often, and if I did it would only be because my blood sugar's dropped.

God, I really hope that didn't happen. That is _not_ good for me.

But I don't remember feeling weak and I don't remember shaking or sweating, so I think I'm okay. I do remember feeling dizzy, though, but there could be other reasons explaining why I was.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

I look up and suddenly understand how I got here.

It's Cartman. It all makes sense now. I instantly remember the incident in the hall and why I must have fainted. I'm blushing again, but this time I'm not sure I can deny it.

"Oh, hey. I'm okay I guess."

"Oh. That's good."

He's looking anywhere else but me, purposely avoiding my eye like back in the hall. This is probably just me being crazy, but he looks like he feels guilty.

I think back to what happened earlier, about what he said. Or rather how he reacted to what I said.

Let's consider this for a second.

I said that love and compassion are things he'll never get. He turned dark on me. Real dark. He threatened me.

Could it be that Eric Cartman is actually in love with someone? Ha, that's a rich thought. But I suppose it's possible with the way he acted back there.

The question is with who?

I guess the answer will come with time.

And as for the reason I fainted earlier, I think there's only one answer to that.

You know where I'm going with this...

Yes, it's something I've been intentionally denying since the beginning of this year.

I have a crush on Eric Cartman.

* * *

Yeah, that's right. I did it. Don't worry, though. This is just the beginning. Expect a lot of heartbreak and whatnot in the future after they actually get together(that's after they get over their stubbornness and actually admit they like each other ;D), and not just from them.

Because really, you can't have them get together without a little drama first.

Make that a lot of drama.

I mean, this is Kyle and Cartman we're talking about here.

Update coming soon, I'm sure. I like surprising you guys. :D

Thank you so much for reading! You guys are awesome! See ya next time!

-Soul


	5. I'm In Love With A Psycho

Next chapter! This one's probably 1000 words longer than the last one, so prepare for a long read. Well, maybe not that long. And I know that I've kind been ignoring the other characters, so I'm going to try my best to incorporate them into the story soon. Because, really, I love them all. :D

Not much else for me to say except that I'm actually updating at a decent hour. Weird.

Warnings: A lot of teasing on my part. And by teasing I mean teasing you guys. I apologize in advance, and I hope you won't be too mad at me. :D I simply had to do it for characterization.

Enjoy!

* * *

So it's come to this.

In the past few days I've managed to make a complete fool of myself in front of my friends, questioned my sanity multiple times, and realized something that will almost certainly be the end of me.

Here I am sitting in the nurse's office, thoroughly convinced that I've gone insane, my worst enemy and secret crush seated just a few feet away, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. We haven't said a word to each other in the time since he asked if I was doing okay. The silence hangs thick in the air, and I feel as if I'm about to choke on it if I don't get out of here soon.

I'm under way too much pressure right now. I can't believe I've done this to myself.

I can't believe that I actually like..._ him_.

There's no way I can say his name, even in my mind. Each time I do, a new set of very unnerving shivers shoot up and down my spine. They're so unbearable that I nearly throw up when they come around.

I glance about the room, trying to find something, _anything_ that can get my mind off of... well, you know. There's not really a chance of that happening, though. No matter what I think of, my mind somehow -teasingly you might say- wanders straight back to him.

Of course, he's sitting five feet away from me. That could be the problem. If I could just get out of here and away from him, I might forget about this glitch in my mind completely. I can shove it back to the depths of my mind and lock it away forever.

Yeah right.

My life has always been a living hell. Why would things change for my benefit starting now?

That's the thing. They'll never change. With the way things are going now, I'm not expecting a miracle to come along and save me. The reason for my suffering is in here with me _alone,_ and there's no chance of me getting out of here. The nurse dismissed me as being fine after my blackout, but told me that I'm not allowed to leave until the bell rings for the next class.

Another thing for me to worry about: I'm missing another class, in the same day no less. Now I'll get double the punishment from my mom as soon as I get home. I'll be surprised if she doesn't take my car away from me, strip me of anything that has to do with my social life save school, and has a tracking chip implanted inside of me.

I'm considering just staying at Stan's house to avoid going home, but that will only make things worse for me.

Fuck my life.

And if that's not enough to _really_ get my mind working (and trust me, it is), there's still the fact that he's still in here with me. He could have left here ages ago without saying a single word to me, like he normally would do. He's certainly not required to sit in here with me and wait out the bell. That's something a good friend would do. If he's trying to skip class, I'm surprised that he hasn't already gone somewhere else; the cafeteria, the gym, hell, even the library.

Anywhere to get away from me.

I mean, he hates me. Why would he willingly stay here, the same place as the 'greedy Jew,' when he could be elsewhere? Wouldn't he want to avoid me, especially considering what I said to him and how he reacted? He would probably rather even be in class right now.

But he's not.

And the biggest question of all is:

Why did he carry me here?

He could have left me there, passed out in the hallway, and walked away without a word. He could have gone to lunch and sat at our normal table, and when asked 'Hey, where's Kyle?" could have said that he had no clue, that he hadn't seen me since class ended.

But he didn't.

And now as I look at him, he being the only thing I can seem to focus on in this dreary room for more than ten seconds, I notice that he seems just as troubled as I am.

Just what is going on with him?

There's really no way that I can read his expression because he's holding his head in his hands, but his posture tells me enough. He looks tired, defeated, and most of all sad.

I want to punch myself because I'm feeling bad for him again; that's like committing a sin to me. A Jew feeling bad for a Nazi definitely isn't normal.

But a Jew crushing on a Nazi really isn't normal, either.

The silence is getting to be too much for me: I have to break it now or I'll explode.

There's no choice but for me to talk to him considering there aren't any other students in here, and sparking up a conversation with the nurse would just be strange. She's too busy anyway.

I clear my throat, not really sure why I'm doing what I am.

"Cartman?" I shudder violently, cursing myself for not thinking of another way to get his attention. "W-why... why did you bring me here?" The question is hard for me to get out. I'm taking a big step here I must say.

He sighs almost inaudibly, but with the room being as quiet as it is right now, I'd be concerned if I couldn't hear it. The look on his face now that I can see it tells me that he's not in the mood for my questions. I wonder if I should be fearing for my life right now. At least I'm in the nurse's office. I'm not far from aid if he decides to seriously hurt me.

"And why do you care?"

My eyes close in frustration. I really hate it when he answers my question with another question. It's obnoxious how he always tries to wind his way around giving a straight answer.

"Because this isn't normal for you. You normally would have left me out in the halls without having to think twice."

His brown eyes flit up to meet mine. They're not dark anymore like they were outside in the hall. Now they're soft, and I notice the slightest tinge of gold in them. If I wasn't trying to convince myself that I don't like this guy, or keep myself from blushing, I would say that they're quite nice.

I blush anyway. Dammit.

He scowls, eying me cautiously. "You just can't keep your nosy little Jew nose out of anything, can you?"

I can feel my face turn redder, but now it's simply because of anger. I would really love to know why I like him exactly. I could have fallen for Butters, Clyde, Tweek, or even Stan who has a girlfriend to love, but no. I had to fall for the world's biggest asshole.

I'm really too tired to argue back at him right now. Today's events have left me battered and confused, and I don't think I can handle anymore of anything.

"Whatever," I groan, flopping down on the examination bed. "Just leave me alone."

I expect him to leave to go get the lunch he's missed since the last one is in session right now, but when he doesn't I'm puzzled. He has no reason to stay here, so why won't he leave?

Maybe he knows he's torturing me by staying. With the way things are going for me right now, I wouldn't be shocked if he did.

The looming silence comes back, so I close my eyes to avoid any chances of looking at him again. The quiet isn't as stifling when he's not there for me to look at. It's still awkward, though.

I'm caught off guard when he speaks up a few minutes later. I've nearly forgotten that he's still in the room.

"Look, I'm only looking out for what's mine."

My heart flutters in my chest and that dreaded blush works its way back to my cheeks. Did he just say what I think he said? I open my eyes to gaze at him stupidly, not knowing what to think. The nurse has long since left the desk in the room, so at least what I think is about to come up will be exchanged in private.

He's as still as a statue, arms crossed against his chest and a determined look on his face.

Suddenly I'm scared; more scared than I've ever been in my life. The slightest possibility that he's confessing has me grounded, and I don't know that I can take it if he is.

"What?" I ask in a small voice.

He cocks an eyebrow at me, pointing at my torso.

"Did you forget, you stupid Jew? You have one of my kidneys."

My heart drops like a rock. Okay, yes, you got it. I'm very disappointed. Kudos to you, I'll give you your prize later. But_..._ it's not like I should be. Leave it to him to come up with a reason as stupid as this. I can't believe that for just one second I thought he was going to be genuine or honest.

Actually, he probably _is_ being honest about his reason. He _would_ bring me here just to preserve his kidney. Yeah, I know he's an idiot, but that's just how he is.

"You fucking bastard." I ground out, seething with pent up anger. "You are so fucking selfish! This is why everyone hates you!"

"I know," he says softly, bowing his head. My anger subsides a little to let confusion slip in. What? Does he actually, finally get it? "I hate myself for it, too."

No. Freaking. Way. Is he really-

"I can't believe that I let my guard down enough to let those assholes take my kidney and give it to the likes of you. Even if it was the crappy one."

...

I should have guessed. I should have fucking guessed.

I'm trying so, so hard right now to not just jump on him and strangle the hell out of him. Yes, I am that angry. No, not angry. Try livid.

"I can't believe I ever considered you one of my friends." He looks back up at me, expression blank. "You will _never_ be anything to me except a manipulative, Anti-Semitic, racist, arrogant, lazy, selfish bastard."

The look of hurt on his face is slowly thawing the ice on my heart (that he just so happened to put there), but I _can't_ give in. I just can't. He _doesn't deserve it_. I've fallen for this gimmick of his so many times before, and each time I get screwed.

"Never be... B-but, Kahl, a-are you sure?"

_Don't give in. You don't love him. You _can't_ love him. Your mind is just playing tricks on you, Kyle. No matter how sweet and innocent he tries to look, or whether he's actually using your name for once, don't give in. It will _not _be worth it._

"I'm more than sure." My voice is as dangerous as I can make it. I'm still willing myself to stay where I am and not lash out at him.

The conversation ends there as he sighs and stares down at the ground again. There's nothing else to say, so I sit back down, close my eyes, and this time revel in the silence between us.

Then, "Are you HIV-positive?"

Without thinking, I'm on my feet again. I storm over to him and grab the collar of his shirt, yanking him forward harshly.

"Don't you _ever_ say that again. I. Mean. It."

We stare at each other for a few seconds, faces just inches away from each other, before the smell of his cologne wafts its way into my nose. The second I smell it, my anger is forgotten because now I'm more concerned about the light feeling in my head and my legs turning to jelly. This isn't good.

I feel my cheeks heat up, and in reflex push away from him as fast as I can, turning away before he can see the growing blush on my cheeks.

Goddammit. I have got to find a way to stop this.

He's only amused by my reaction, either to his joke or my immediate panic, because he's roaring with laughter at me. I would turn around and give him a piece of my mind, but there's the chance that he'll put two and two together and figure me out. He's not a genius like, say, my brother Ike, but he's not stupid.

"Oh ho, man, ha ha ha! I-ha ha- I bet you didn't see that one coming, huh, Kahl? Hahahahaha!"

Since things couldn't possibly get worse for me today, something finally goes right. The bell rings, saving me from dealing with this moron -that I for some insane reason like- and his absurd, infuriating jokes.

I rush to the door and spit out my answer to him. "No, I actually _did_ see it coming." I slam the door behind me and head right. I'm probably heading the wrong way right now, but I don't really care. The only thing I'm concerned with is getting as far away from him as possible. Since he didn't take the initiative back there and leave, I'm doing it myself.

Except, I guess the saying 'You can't run from your problems because they'll catch up with you' has decided to take a literal meaning with me now. Yeah, he's following me, how did you know? God, can't he take the hint, just this once?

"Kahl? Kahl, wait! I'm sorry!"

I squeeze my eyes shut, trying my best to ignore him. _Just keep walking._ That's all I'm thinking right now. _If you ignore him, he'll go away._

Try as I might, he's apparently not going away because he finally catches up to me, grabbing my shoulder to stop me. As soon as his hand makes contact, my temperature skyrockets and I fear that I'm going to faint again. He pulls me back towards him, and I can feel the heat radiating off of his body. My eyes widen in shock; I'm close to enjoying it when I know I shouldn't be.

I've got to get out of this for the sake of my own health.

"Don't. Touch me." I snarl menacingly.

The relief floods over me as he jerks his hand back hurriedly.

"Look, Kahl, I didn't mean-"

I wheel around in rage. "Don't you start that with me! I am _sick_ and _tired_ of playing your stupid little game. You' re wasting my time. I've already missed two classes today because of you; I'm not about to miss my third."

He scowls. "Eh, why does it matter so much to you? Oh, that's right, that's right." He mocks me poorly, "'Because I'm a goody little Jew-rat who has to live up to my bitch mom's standards!'"

He is _really_ pushing it today. I mean _really pushing it_. Either he has a death wish or he's getting some kind of sick kick out of pissing me off. Probably the latter.

"Cartman," Shiver. "I'm warning you!"

"Oh, I'm so scared. What are you gonna do? Tattle on me like you used to do in fourth grade?"

I don't really feel like dealing with the consequences of me punching his lights out, so I walk away from him towards my next class, now more aware of where I'm going. He calls after me, but again I ignore him.

"Dude, chill! I'm sorry!" He catches up again and walks alongside me. "Look, I'll make it up to you!"

"I'm not falling for that, asshole."

He runs in front of me, halting me in my tracks and trying his best to look sincere. "No, really! If it's that important to you, I can get you out of trouble. You won't have to deal with your bitch of a mom when you get home, I promise."

I doubt he's lying about the fact he can get me out of trouble, but there's no way he's doing this just to be nice to me. Let's not mention he's called my mom a bitch twice in the past two minutes. He can keep his offer, thank you.

"Like I should believe you! How do I know this isn't some kind of ploy, huh?"

"It's not, all right? I'm just trying to be nice to you for once! There are no strings attached to this one, I swear it to you."

I hesitate for a second before giving him my answer. "No. I don't believe you. You're not doing this just for me. There's got to be some kind of benefit for you in this somewhere, otherwise you wouldn't be offering this to me."

"Well," he strokes his chin thoughtfully, "I suppose there is _some_ kind of benefit in it for me, but-"

"I knew it!" I scream, not caring one bit that my outburst will most likely catch the attention of students and teachers nearby. "I swear, you will never change, will you? It's all just a game, isn't it?"

He backs up a bit, tenative. "Kahl, I-"

"Forget. It." I growl, pushing my way past him. Without thinking, I turn back toward him one last time and say, "Honestly, I don't know what I see in y-"

I clamp both of my hands over my mouth before I can say that last word, and spin around again so that my back is facing him. What am I doing?! Do I want to make my life worse than it already is?!!

"What?" I hear Cartman ask in a soft voice. "What did you just say, Jew?"

Thinking it best that I don't give him an answer (because God knows how much more that will screw my life up), I bolt down the hall into the commons area of the school, hoping to lose myself in the crowd. My hat is like a beacon and easy to track in a mass of students, but I did manage to get a head start, so I might have a slight chance of losing him. Slight. There's only a minute or so left before class starts and that helps carry me though the school faster.

Thank the stars I don't have this next class with him.

I finally make it. Panting and gasping, I flop down in my seat next to Stan, who I've never been so glad to see in my life. Only one thought is racing through my mind right now.

_Please don't let him figure out what I said._

* * *

This chapter makes me laugh. Kyle is just too much fun to mess with.

Ah, I still don't have much to say to you guys about this chapter. But I do want to thank all of you who have given me the support and feedback in your reviews. I really appreciate it, and it only inspires me to write more! :D I love each and every one of you! Even those who just read, thank you! I appreciate that you are intersted enough in the story to read through it and the notes that I write you at the end.

Or maybe you don't read those.

Okay, I'll leave you guys with that. I don't want to get too sappy on you. ;D

Hope you enjoyed! See ya next time because I've gotta eat now. Any mistakes, let me know!

-Soul


	6. I Shiver When I Hear Your Name

Oh. My. God. Seriously you guys, I'm almost dead. I'm seriously. Haha, yeah. Anyway. New chapter. Insane. Longer than before and chock full of stuff. Mainly more characters coming into the mix. Like Ike! Yay! We all love Ike, right? I hope so because he plays a decent role in this chapter. And there's a little bit of Stendy in here. Just a smidge. I think I'm about to die from typing, so I'll leave you to read.

Enjoy!

Btw, I have to give credit to TheOneWhoLivesInYourClosest for helping me finally come up with names for these chapters (though if I hadn't said anything you probably wouldn't have noticed). I thought Chapter 1, etc. was boring, and I wanted to change it; she really helped me out with it all and is awesome for doing so. :D

Warnings: You decide.

* * *

"Dude, what happened to you earlier? We missed you at lunch and heard you ended up at the nurse's office. Not to mention you burst into Physics like you'd seen a ghost." Stan asks. He, Wendy, and I are walking to our cars after possibly the longest day of my life.

"It's a long story, dude. I don't want to talk about it right now." That's the last thing I want on my mind. I just want to get home, relax, and sort my thoughts out alone.

Wait, home! Oh crap... I forgot that I'm going to have to face my mom after missing two classes. Great. That's a _wonderful_ start to my weekend.

"Oh, okay." He smiles and continues walking hand in hand with Wendy. They look absolutely happy together; they're the epitome of a perfect couple. I'm jealous. I'd give anything right now to be that happy, dating or not.

"By the way, Kyle, did Stan tell you yet? He and I are throwing a party for our anniversary tomorrow night. You're invited."

Stan slaps his forehead. "Aw, man! I totally forgot to tell you about that! Thanks for that, Wendy." He pecks her lightly on the cheek, and I feel my jealousy build.

"Oh. Thanks a lot you guys, but I'm not sure that I'll be able to make it." I don't want to come off as sounding depressed, but I do anyway.

Stan glances at me, confused. "Why not?"

"Well, considering the fact that I missed two classes today, I'm not expecting my mom to be in the greatest mood when I get home. I'm guessing that I'll be grounded for at least a month."

"Oh, right." He thinks for a second. "Then I guess having you crash at my place tonight would only make things worse, huh?"

I sigh, nodding my head sadly. "You got that right, dude."

"Sorry about that, man." He pats me sympathetically on the shoulder, which makes feel a little better. It's at least nice to know that I have a great best friend. No matter what, he's always there for me, trying to make my life better.

"Don't worry about it, Stan. I've been dealing with this for years. It's not like it's anything new." I reassure him as we reach our cars. I pull out my keys and have second thoughts about going home. There certainly couldn't be anything good waiting for me there. But I won't make things any better by avoiding my mom. I just have to be brave and take the punishment, even if it's not completely my fault for missing class.

I say my goodbyes to Stan and Wendy, who are going to his house to hang out. He tells me that he'll call me later, and I'm glad because I'm sure I'll need someone who will listen to me with an open ear.

I just hope that my mom doesn't think of taking my phone away from me.

* * *

As soon as I walk in the door, my mom jumps up from her seat in the armchair and hugs me like I've been gone for several months. No, I'm not lying. She seriously does.

"Oh, Kyle! Bubbe, are you okay?"

My eyebrows furrow in confusion. "What are you talking about, mom?"

"That Eric boy came by earlier and told me that you had a blackout at school today, and you missed some classes because you had to go to the nurse. He said he was concerned about you being sick, and wanted to let me know why you weren't in class. _Are_ you getting sick? Here, let me check your forehead for a fever, bubbe."

She places her hand on my forehead, but I quickly push it away. "I'm fine, mom. Really."

"Okay, dear. Just go upstairs and rest for a bit. I'll call you down for dinner when it's ready."

She heads into the kitchen. I head up the stairs to go to my room, saying a quick 'hi' to my dad along the way. As soon as I get there, I shut the door and throw my bag on the floor.

All right, I'm confused as hell now. Why would Cartman come by out of his own free will and tell my mom all of that? Isn't he aware that he got me _out_ of trouble and not _in_ it? This is so unlike him. He lives, _thrives_ on my pain, so why would he save my skin? He knows what my mom's like, and he would normally be overjoyed to know that I had been grounded me for a month or more because I missed two classes in one day.

What is going on in his head? Are his brains scrambled or something? He did something _nice_ for me.

Something _nice_...

My heart flutters. Oh, man, not again. I swear, it's getting harder and harder by the second. It really is. I don't know how much longer I can keep this to myself. Guessing by my close slip up earlier, it won't be long.

God...

It would be my luck that he knows exactly what I meant. Who wouldn't? You'd have to be stupid to not know what I meant. Ugh, I feel sick.

This is going to be the end of me. Just watch. It's only a matter of time until he has the whole school in on my secret. I don't want to even begin to think about how that will end up. How is it that in just two days, two _simple_ days, my life takes a turn for the worse? Really, what did I do to deserve this? What have I done wrong?

I wish I knew what to do. I really do.

I sigh. Why can't my life just be normal? Why does this all have to be so difficult? Why do I have to have a crush on _him_ of all people?

This sucks. I pull a pillow out from under me and place it over my face, ready to scream into it. Well, I need some way to vent my frustration. It's still way too early for Stan to be calling me, and I'm not about to go and break half of my stuff in a rage.

That reminds me... I should be thankful that I still have my phone. Hell, I should be thankful that I'm off the hook.

But I still don't understand it. Why would he do that? He hasn't exactly been himself these past few days. Sure, he's still able to rile me up in just a few seconds and piss me off to no end, but the things he's done for me recently seem very out of place.

He avoided me like the plague after my slip up in the hall. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Then, he comes to my house and saves me from extreme punishment. He knows very well what he did for me I'm sure, and that's what I just don't get.

I don't know his true motive, but it's clear that he's actually trying to be friends with me. He's done this once before, and that was because he was trying to get invited to my birthday party at Casa Bonita. Sure, he _is_ doing a better job of acting nice now, but he's going to have to do better than that. He has a lot to make amends for before I'm even going to consider it.

No, the fact that I have an unfortunate crush on him doesn't count.

Although, I'm afraid that just that fact alone will have me caving in before I normally would. There's no denying it anymore. I'll get soft, and when he plays the right card, I'll give in to him.

And he'll make me pay.

Augh, now I'm even more curious to know what he's up to. I just _have_ to know what's going on in his head. I can't take it anymore.

This may kill me, but I'm going to call him.

I pull my phone out of my coat pocket and flip it open. My thumb hovers over the number '4,' shaking slightly. Don't ask me why I have his number on speed dial. And don't ask me if I think this is the best thing to do because I don't really know. This is more of an impulse thing.

I take a deep breath, push the number in, and hold the phone up to my ear.

I'm forced to listen to the ring for a few seconds -holding my breath the whole time- before someone picks up.

"What do you want, Jew?"

It's when he says that do I realize I have no good way to approach this. I'm going to have to answer him quick, though, because if I don't, he'll think this is just a joke and hang up on me. The whole thing will be pointless after that.

Why, you ask? Well, knowing Cartman, he'll think that I just called to prank him and ignore my call back to him, even though that would be completely contradictory of him since he does this kind of thing all the time. As a result, I won't get any kind of answer out of him due to him ignoring my call, and considering he's come up with a new game of avoiding me, I won't get an answer ever. Though, I'm wondering why he even bothered to pick up this time because he knows it's me-

"Hello? Jew?"

Oh, shit! Quick, quick, say something before he cuts you off...!

"Why did you do that?"

Phew. I'm so grateful for my quick thinking. That question should get the point across.

There's a short pause on his end. Then, "Do what?"

I sigh in irritation. Leave it to him to beat around the bush.

"You lied to my mom about me having to go to the nurse. You told her I was sick, and that she should be concerned when you very well knew that I could have easily gotten in trouble if you just left it alone and left her to think I skipped on purpose. You saved my ass when I told you not to. Why?"

There's nothing but silence on the other end, and after a few seconds I start to think he's hung up on me. To my surprise, he speaks again.

"I told you I could get you out of trouble and I did. What's the big deal? It's not like I listen to you anyway."

"Because, once again, this isn't like you. You love to see me suffer, and that's exactly what would have happened if you hadn't told my mom anything. You saved my skin, and I know very well that's something you would never do. Ever."

"People change from time to time, Kahl. It's a fact of life."

"Oh, don't pull that crap on me! The only reason you did this is because there's something in it for you. I want to know what it is."

He sighs, breath crackling through the phone. "Look, isn't it possible, just possible, for you to believe that this one time I helped you because I was trying to be nice?"

"No."

"Kahl, seriously. You don't believe for one second that maybe I've matured? Considering I'm in high school now?"

I don't miss a beat. "No, I don't. You're still the same person to me. You always will be."

"Eh, how am I the same?!"

"Oh, let's see, where do I begin? You still call me a Jew every five seconds, and you call my mom a bitch-"

"Ay! I only call her a bitch because it's true, you stupid Jew!"

"See?!" I'm almost crushing the phone in my hands by this point. "You just did it! And just because it's true doesn't mean you have to point it out like that!

"The truth hurts sometimes, Kahl!"

"Some things are better left unsaid, asshole!" My rage is almost to its peak.

"Oh, are they? Does that hold true for your little slip as well?"

I freeze, feeling all of the blood drain instantly from my face. My stomach drops as far down as it can go. You can't even imagine how sick I feel right now. I know that this was going to come back and bite me sooner or later, but it's really biting me harder than I expected.

He knows.

"You can't hide it from me, _Kahl_." He draws out my name like he's enjoying the taste of it on his tongue. "There's no running from this one."

My insides go cold, and I'm having trouble keeping myself in a sitting position. I can't believe I still have a firm grip on the phone. I'm glad I do, though because right now, it's the only link between me and him.

No, you freak. Not romantically.

This guy does _not_ deserve my love, let alone my acknowledgment of his existence. God, why do I like him?

Wha-? Why doesn't he deserve it?! Are you missing half of your brain?! _Because he's about to break me!!!_ He has all of the ingredients... all he has to do is mix them together, and he'll have the perfect plan to ruin my image completely.

I may have won some of the battles, but he's winning the war.

I don't even want to know what he's got planned for my ultimate demise, but I ask anyway.

"W-what are you going to do, C-cartman?"

He chuckles from the other end and I fear the worst.

"Who said I was going to do anything?"

I blink several times. Now he's really confused me.

"_What?"_

"Like I said, Kahl, people change when they're in-" He stops abruptly, reminding me strangely of how I stopped myself earlier. "P-people, people change from time to time." He stammers like he's spilled something big, and I'm getting real suspicious. "Think about that."

_Click._

He hung up.

No way. No. Freaking. Way.

Did he just...

No. No no nonono.

Is this good... or bad?

* * *

"Kyle?"

I groan, voice muffled by the pillow my face is buried in. Whoever that is needs to leave me alone. Life is being so cruel to me right now. I just want to disappear.

"Kyle. Come on, dinner's ready."

A firm hand grips my shoulder and shakes me, trying to get me up. I groan again and raise a hand to swat the intruder away. It doesn't work.

The voice is firm as it addresses me now. "Kyle, _come on_. You've been up here for three hours. You need to take your insulin and eat. I don't want you to go into a coma."

Whoever is talking to me has me beat. I have to take my insulin unless I want to put myself in danger. It's at times like these that I wish I wasn't diabetic. That still doesn't mean I can't give my intruder a glare in response to their nagging, though. I raise my head to see my brother Ike standing by my bed, looking concerned.

Now I regret thinking about giving him a glare. He may be annoying and nagging sometimes, but he's my little brother and he's only looking out for me. And that... I really appreciate. He may not be perfect (though his grades show that he pretty much is), but he's probably the best brother I could ask for, adopted or not.

"Okay, Ike. I'll be down in a second. Thanks."

He doesn't leave. Instead, he sits down beside me, and I can only guess he want to talk. About my problems? Most likely.

"Kyle, what's up with you? You haven't been yourself lately."

Ha, that's Ike for you. Perceptive as hell. He can read people like books. Especially me.

"A lot of things, Ike. Too many to count."

"Like what?" That's another thing about him. He gets straight to the point as soon as possible.

I hesitate for a second. Should I really tell him all that's been going on with me? Or would I risk him telling my parents? Ike's not really childish. Actually, that's a big understatement. Ike's an incredibly mature kid despite being in seventh grade. Hell, his maturity rivals that of people my age, and he's certainly more mature than most of the juniors I know. I can think of one in particular right off the bat...

"Well, to put things simply," I close my eyes, not wanting to see his reaction, "I'm gay. And I sort of have this thing... for Eric Cartman." My spine chills in a not so pleasant way as I say his name.

I wait in a long -or what feels like a long- silence, nervous that I've stunned him out of speaking. I don't dare open my eyes, though, because I'm still scared of seeing the look on his face. He finally speaks.

"You mean that fat kid that always rips on you for being Jewish?" His voice doesn't really show any kind of evident emotion; it's just his normal conversation tone. I open my eyes to see his face looks very much the same.

I'm slightly taken aback at his word choice. "Well, used to be fat." I correct. "He actually doesn't look too bad now-" I slap my hands over my mouth, and my face turns red. Really red. I can't believe I just said that! Why do I keep saying stupid things like this?!

Ike just laughs. Hopefully he can't tell how embarrassed I am from saying that. "Oh ho, I'm sorry. Excuse me, I didn't know he was such a _stud_." He roars with laughter as my face turns redder. I didn't know it could.

Crap. Of course he notices. Who am I to doubt his perception? I should have just saved myself the humiliation and let him have the comment of calling Cartman fat. Ike really hasn't seen him in years, and I still call him a 'fatass' from time to time regardless of his noticeable weight loss since grade school.

"Why?" He asks.

I'm caught off guard for a moment. "Why what?"

"Why do you like him?"

I let out a long sigh, suddenly finding my bedroom door interesting to look at. "I can't give you answer, Ike. I really can't. I... just do."

He hums thoughtfully and taps his chin. Just by looking at the expression on his face, I can tell he's about to say something to really embarrass me.

"So, if you like him, does your heart _pound_ when you hear his name?" No, in fact, hearing his name gives the worst shivers imaginable. "Cartman." Oooh! Great, he's giving it a test drive. "_Eric_ Cartman." Oooooh! Goddammit! He's enjoying this, isn't he? He thinks it's fun, watching me shiver whenever he says Eric's nam-

What the-! What in the _world_ is wrong with me?! Am I completely losing control of my mind? First I say things without thinking, and now _this_?! Since when do I call Cartman Eri- _No! No, stop it!_

"Stop it, Ike!" I have to stop him now, or I'll lose it. Really. I clamp my hand over his mouth in an effort to shut him up. It works for only a second because he licks it, and I quickly pull it away, disgusted. "Ugh, gross, dude!" I try to wipe my hand on his shirt, but he evades me and I'm forced to settle with my bedspread. Just goes to show that he can still be childish. Very childish.

He's chuckling as he sits back down beside me, proud of his teasing. Then, after a few seconds, he's calm again. "You do like him, don't you?"

I flinch and shake my head. "I don't like to think so. I do, yes, but I don't know why. I just don't understand. I've fallen for the biggest jerk in the world, the one single person who could care less about my feelings, unless it's me being in pain. I... I could have fallen for anyone else, Ike! Stan, Kenny, Butters... anyone! But I like _him_." I cradle my head in my hands.

Ike thinks for a second, considering the situation. I wait patiently, suddenly remembering that we should be downstairs, eating. Wonder why mom and dad haven't called us down yet? "Well," he starts, interrupting my thoughts, "You called him a jerk. Normally, you would call him something worse, right?" I nod, not quite sure what he's getting at. "Do you maybe think that's your heart finally stepping up and telling your mind it's overreacting a bit?"

Overreacting? Where did he get that from? "I don't know. I... really have no clue, Ike. I don't know what to think anymore."

"What do you mean?" He's doing more than just asking me a question; he's trying to pull the truth out of me.

In some twisted way, it's working. "Well, maybe this feeling isn't really real, you know? Maybe my mind is just playing tricks on me with my heart, like they're teamed together trying to confuse me. Thing is, I don't know what to do about it all."

"Okay, look," he says honestly, "If you're not really sure, just tell him the truth. If you both settle your differences, and he likes you back, date him for awhile and figure out if what you're feeling is real or not. You can only solve your problems by dealing and working with them, not by running away. Keep denying this, Kyle, and your life won't get any better. Trust me on this one."

And with that he walks out of my room, leaving me with my thoughts.

He's right. I can't really run from this much longer. I should stop being stubborn and just tell him the truth. From the way he acted earlier, and from what he said, I'd say he might have a crush on me, too.

I can't believe I missed it before. The blushing, taking me to the nurse, covering for me...

I know what it all means now.

I feel like an idiot. A stubborn, foolish, blind idiot.

Gah, but do I _dare_ tell him? Do I really want to do that? What'll happen if I do?

I don't know, but one thing's for sure.

I have a lot to think about this weekend.

* * *

*dies* There you go. Happy? Yes? No? Yeah, I wouldn't be because they haven't kissed yet, right? We're all waiting for that to happen, no? Well, expect it next chapter. No, I am not teasing. But I am exhausted. After I'm finished with this endnote, I'll... I dunno. I'll just probably stay up some more and crash at my computer desk. Something like that. Yeah.

Thanks so much for reading! Love you guys, you're all awesome!

See you next time!

-Soul


	7. Shut Up

Here you guys go! The chapter you've all been waiting for! That's right. Kissing scene. I'm not going to bore you with anything since this is a long chapter. I'll go ahead and just let you read it.

Enjoy~! I worked hard on this one.

Warnings: Kyle's ongoing denial. Come on, you didn't think he would give in that easy, did you? ;D And of course, the kiss(es).

* * *

As soon as I'm done with dinner, I briefly help my mom clean up, thank Ike for his help earlier, and head straight for bed. There's really no way I can sleep; there are too many things for me to consider if I'm really going to take Ike's suggestion and go with it. But my room is really the best place for me to sit and think through my options.

I sit down at my computer desk and lay my head in my arms. Time to think about what I'm going to do.

Question one: Why should I tell him the truth?

Well, I suppose it might finally solve my problems. It's like Ike told me: I'll be better off if I face this head-on instead of continuing to run. If I... get together with him, so to speak, I'll really test my mind and finally see if what I'm feeling is real or not.

I'll finally know if I should be denying this.

Or if I really do...

I shudder. No, let's not think about that right now. We still don't know for sure, so we shouldn't just assume that, right?

Right.

Okay, glad we agree. No more of that.

But...

I sigh. I can't _believe_ I'm about to consider this. I must really be going nuts.

But what if I do find that... this is what I really want? What if I really _am_ in denial over this, and have been all this time? What if I _do _like Eric Cartman for who he really is? Would I actually be willing to -dare I say- _date_ him?

No. Nonono. No. Just... just no. I would never, I mean _never_ be caught da... da... _dating_ Eric Cartman.

Eric Theodore Cartman.

_Ahhh..._ Ugh, there's that nasty shiver again.

Yeah, I know. Don't give me that look. Please. I know you think this is very amusing, watching me suffer through this. This is just like a soap opera to you, isn't it? You just can't wait for me to waltz up to him and declare my undying love through watery eyes under a full moon at night, and have him love me back just as much to the point where we go home and do unspeakable things, can you?

Well, I'll tell you right now. This isn't a fairytale.

This is South Park.

Yeah. Exactly. Glad you understand. Now, if you would... please leave me to my inner turmoil.

I breathe out another heavy sigh. Question... God, I don't even know anymore. Whatever.

If so (I date him, that is), would I like it? Would he even treat me well? Hell, is it even possible for him to love anyone besides himself? Like I said before, he will never be capable of loving anyone in his entire life. He's way too egotistic for that. Besides, he lives on the pain of others, especially mine.

So, this being true, that would lead one to believe that he doesn't like or love anyone. But I'm almost sure that's what he was about to say before he stopped himself.

_'People change when they're in... love.'_

I'm positive that's what he meant by that. It has to be. What else would he mean to say? And if it wasn't what he meant, why would he stop himself so abruptly? Even more so, why would he try to hide it from me? He knows I won't do anything more than laugh at him -maybe- if I find out he has a crush on someone.

And if that someone just so happens to be me... which is very possible...

My stomach churns in a strange way; not good, not bad. Just strange.

But -shit- what if he _wasn't_ talking about me? What if I have the totally wrong idea?! If he's thinking of someone else... do I even want to entertain the thought that he's thinking of someone else? I mean, the blushing, the kind gestures... he _has_ to be talking about me! Right?

But even if he is, what if this is one of his jokes? He may know that I'm slowly falling for him harder and harder by the minute, and is waiting for the right moment to crush me. It may all just be a new game he's playing: Break Kyle's Heart.

Yeah, that's it. He'll build me up slowly, and then knock me down. By doing that, he would be getting the satisfaction he's been waiting to get ever since he met me: to see me cry. He would win another battle, and celebrate his victory by tasting my tears.

Just like he did with that kid so many years ago.

Would life even be worth living if he ended up doing that? Could I really go on?

I would have to. If not, he would win, like I just said. And I can't let that happen because God knows I would never ever hear the end of it.

However, if I put up that facade, he would only continue to torture me with worse things until he finally achieved his goal. By then I would probably be forced to move in order to get away from him, and I don't want to do that because that, again, is just me running from my problems.

God. This just can't be easy, can it?

There's just no simple way to approach this, is there?

I suppose my best option would be to just deal with his tricks. After all, I've been dealing with his shit for years, so why wouldn't I be able to take his newest dose? I've practically built up an immunity to it anyway. It would do nothing to me, right?

Right.

Besides, it's actually rather easy to steal his thunder and keep the satisfaction from him.

Think of it this way: I would have to actually cry for him to win. If I can anticipate his moves, which isn't very hard because his material is essentially all the same, I can beat him.

But would I really be able to not cry when that happens?

Wait, what am I asking? I wouldn't cry if he broke my heart, right?

…

Of course I would.

Goddammit.

I'm in trouble. I'm in serious trouble.

God, I... I don't even know what to think anymore. I'm so confused, it hurts.

It _hurts_.

What should I do?

I groan, just about to lose my mind, when the vibration of my phone on the desk saves me. That must be Stan.

Thank God.

Maybe a nice, normal conversation with absolutely no mentionof Cartman at all will save my sanity... at least for the moment.

I scramble to grab the phone and open it quickly, more than eager to hear his voice on the other end.

"Stan?" My voice is quivering in excitement. I've never been so happy to get a call from him in my life.

"Hey, dude. What's going on? I see you weren't grounded too harshly considering you still have your phone."

The next words fly out of my mouth before I have time to stop myself. "Cartman saved my ass."

Goddammit! Why do I do this to myself?! Didn't I just say there will be no mention of him during this call?!

Why can't I stop thinking about him for just five minutes?! Five _simple_ minutes?!

Jesus Christ, I'm like a freaking schoolgirl.

No. No no no.

_No_.

I will _not_ compare myself to that.

I am _not_ infatuated with him; I do not like him; he's an arrogant, self-centered, racist, lazy, manipulative bastard that will never be capable of love nor does he deserve it; I shouldn't even be thinking about him right now-

"What?"

I almost forget that I'm still on the line with Stan. What could have possibly made me forget about that?

Oh yeah.

Cartman.

That bastard, he manages to screw with me even when he's not here-

Dammit! Stop. Thinking. About. Him.

I sigh and return to my conversation. "Cartman.. saved my ass."

It's silent on the other end for several moments. No surprise there. I don't blame Stan for being completely speechless after hearing that. I don't believe it, either as much as it is true.

And it is true. Look at the talk Cartman and I had earlier.

_"What?"_ he asks again, sounding incredulous.

"Yeah, dude. I'm off the hook because of him."

He hesitates. Again, probably still trying to grasp the fact of what I just said. "Why?"

I shake my head, more to myself because I know he can't see me. "I have no clue. I...I called him and-"

Stan interrupts me there. "Whoa, whoa, wait just a minute. _You_ called _Cartman_?"

It's me who hesitates this time before giving him an answer. A slow answer. "Yeah... I did."

"Dude." he says bluntly. "You _never_ call him."

This makes me stop and think for a second. He's right. I never call Cartman, even when he pushes me over the edge and has me literally pulling out my hair in frustration. I _never_ call him. So why did I this time?

Well, I guess I was just really confused. I wasn't exactly thinking straight. After all, what he did threw me for a loop, and I guess I just really wanted an answer because honestly... it was driving me crazy.

But he drives me crazy anyway. Always has, always will.

I sigh into the phone. There's not really much to say on that. "Yeah. I know I don't."

I can guess his next question before he even says it. "Why?"

"Look, Stan, I really don't know why. Can... can we just not talk about it? Please?" My voice sounds strained and shaky as I beg him. I swear, the more I talk or think about Cartman, the sicker I get.

Oof. Just like that.

"Kyle." Oh no, now he's sounding concerned. Please,_ please_ don't have him play the best friend card on me. As much as I appreciate it, I don't think I can stomach thinking about... anymore. "Kyle, dude, you don't sound too good. Are you all right?"

"Yes! Yes, I am _great_, Stan! Never better! Life is just dandy, isn't it?! I really can't wait for your party tomorrow! I'm so stoked for you guys!"

There. That'll get him on a different subject. But damn, I didn't know I could sound so perky. I'm acting like a cheerleader or some-

God, no. _No_. I will _not_ think of myself as a-

I think I need to go to a therapist. I really do.

Stan chuckles, but it's not really his normal laugh. I think I scared him. Great. I'm not only scaring myself, I'm now scaring other people.

Ha, maybe I can scare Cartman enough so that he'll leave me alone and I'll forget about ever-

Dammit, stop that!

"Thanks, man." Thank God he's talking again. "We really appreciate it. You... are going to be able to make it, right?"

I nod my head, smiling a small smile. "Yeah. I'll definitely be there."

Even though I can't see him, I feel like he's smiling too. "Great. I'm glad."

He almost sounds relieved for some reason. Like he's relieved that I said that because he doubted that I would be coming. "Stan," I reassure him, "were you afraid that I wasn't going to be there? Dude, I'm your best friend. I would have made it, grounded or not."

"I know!" he says hastily. "I would have made sure you were able to make it. I'm just glad that I don't have to go through the trouble of doing so. Your mom is a hard person to win over when it comes to that."

"Yeah, I know." Now see? Stan is making the point that my mom isn't the nicest, most lenient mom in the world, but he's not being rude about it. If Cartman was as polite as Stan, I might not be questioning my feelings-

Argh! Stop, stop, stop!

I rub my hair furiously with my free hand, trying to free my mind. No matter what I do...

"Thanks for that, Stan. You're the best friend a guy could have. Wendy's lucky to have a guy like- Oh crap! I just realized that I don't have anything to give you guys!"

"You mean like a present?"

"Yeah." I say dejectedly. I feel terrible. I know it's not really my fault since I just found out that they're having a party, but I still feel bad. They really deserve something for being together for... I count on my fingers... almost eight years.

He laughs. "You don't have to do that, dude. Just knowing you'll be there is enough for me."

I can't help but smile. "Thanks, Stan. You're awesome."

"No problem, Kyle. So are you."

Yeah, I know this is probably the cheesiest conversation ever, but I don't care. It's a big relief from the one I had just a few hours ago. This one is stress free; civil; nothing but me and my best friend in the whole world talking about how much we appreciate the other; not revolved around the one person that makes my life miserable-

And who I will _not_ let slip into my thoughts right now.

But now that I think about it...

"Hey, Stan?" I ask, "Is... is Cartman going to be there?" My eyes squeeze shut in fear of his answer.

Please say no, _please_ say no...

"Well, yeah. Of course he is. Why wouldn't he be?"

My insides freeze.

No.

Nonono. No.

Why God? Why do you hate me?

It's not hard for me to think up a response. "Because he's only the biggest asshole in South Park. Honestly, Stan, I won't be surprised if he ends up trashing your house."

"Dude, I really don't think he's that bad anymore. He's kinda... changed since fourth grade."

Maybe Stan needs a therapist, too.

"Have you lost your mind, Stan?! He hasn't changed at all!"

"No, I think he has. I mean, what's the worst thing he's done to _you_ in the past... let's say year?

Does he really have to ask? He was there for half of it! There was... Let's see, he...

Huh. I can't think of a single thing. Now that I think about it, Cartman's pretty much kept to himself this whole year. He hasn't really bothered me at all. Except for when he was at my house the other night.

Aha!

"He was _videotaping_ me the other night at one in the morning!"

I hear Stan sigh from the other end and my face drops. "Yeah, but that doesn't mean he's done anything to get at you. I think you're just paranoid, dude."

My face drops even more. Did he... did Stan just call me paranoid? Even worse, did he just _defend_ Cartman? Eric _Cartman_? What the hell is... am I in a parallel universe or something?!

"W-well... I-I..." I make it evident that I can't believe what he just said. "He still rips on me for being Jewish! He hasn't changed in that regard!"

He doesn't miss a beat. "You should be used to that by now, Kyle. That's like a tic for him or something. He's always going to do that."

"Yeah, but that doesn't prove he's changed, Stan. Why are you defending him all of a sudden?"

I must have caught him off guard with that question because he goes silent for a second. Then, "I don't know. I'm not really trying to defend him, I just think that you're taking this a little too far." I don't say anything. "Look, just be glad that's all he does now. Sticks and stones, right?"

I think for a second and smile. "Yeah. I guess you're right."

Sure. Cartman still calls me names and all, but it's not like they have that same venom in them. It's almost halfhearted now. A tic, like Stan said. And he's been doing it for so long now, that I shouldn't really let it get to me. Because really...

It's Cartman.

Still, I feel incredibly sick knowing that he's going to be there tomorrow. But it's a party, right? Other people are gonna be there. As popular as Stan and Wendy are as a couple, I wouldn't be surprised if the whole junior class was there.

Though his house probably couldn't hold that many people. I chuckle to myself.

The point is, I'll be able to avoid Cartman. Heck, it'll be hard not to avoid him. I also have to account for the fact that he deliberately evaded me earlier today. So I should be safe.

I breathe a sigh of relief. I feel better.

"Hey, man, I gotta go. See you tomorrow?" Stan asks through my period of silence. Again, I almost forgot he was there.

"Yeah. See you tomorrow. Bye."

He says a quick goodbye and promptly hangs up. I flip my phone shut and toss it on the desk, flopping face down on my bed. It wasn't long before I fell asleep there, mind too exhausted to think anymore.

* * *

I knock on Stan's door a few times and wait patiently for someone to come open it. His party started at eight. It was now... eight twenty. Not too early, but early enough to be considerate.

Yeah, so I take a lot of thought of when to arrive at a party. Sue me.

Do I have to mention that I spent almost an hour getting ready? No? Good. I don't want to think that I spent as long as a girl would-

Dammit.

The door opens, and I'm greeted by Stan looking as casual as ever. "Hey, dude. Come on in." He steps back to let me in, holding the door open.

I walk in and immediately scan the living room, breathing a sigh of relief. Good. There's a considerable amount of people here. Craig, Tweek, Jimmy, Timmy, Clyde, Butters: all people I can hang around and hopefully avoid fatass.

Well, maybe Butters is an exception.

Yep. You guessed it. Standing right next to him is none other than the person I'm aiming to avoid. I shouldn't be shocked, though. Butters is like a leech when it comes to Cartman.

My heart pangs slightly and I raise an eyebrow.

What was that?

Huh. Oh well. There's still plenty of people here who aren't going to be around him. Hell, I'll even talk to the girls if it means it'll reduce my chances of talking with him.

Unless, of course, he decides to seek me out.

Which is exactly what he's doing right now.

Goddammit...

He's approaching fast, and my mind screams at me to get the hell out. My feet don't move. They're completely frozen.

Gah, what a time for my body to lock up on me.

My eyes widen as he stops in front of me. He's scowling and I can faintly smell alcohol on him. Not surprising. Stan isn't a pansy; he's not afraid to throw a party with alcohol. It's not like his parents know, and his sister probably doesn't care as long as she doesn't get blamed for it.

Cartman doesn't look drunk, but he looks angry. I can't imagine what's going on in his mind right now.

Then again, I never can. This is nothing new to me.

"Kitchen. Now." His voice is dark and holds a great amount of authority in it. A shiver runs violently down my spine, but it's more... enjoyable than the others.

Wait, what?

When I don't budge, he roughly grabs my arm and yanks me away. My mind grows fuzzy as his hand makes contact with my skin. He drags me to the designated place, and surprisingly there's no one in here. His touch has triggered something in me that almost has me collapsing. I probably look like the drunk one, and I haven't had a thing.

I can only stare blankly at him as I try to suppress the fever in me. He leans coolly against the counter, arms crossed. I lean against the island, but I definitely don't pull off the 'cool' look.

"Look, _Jew_," he snarls. I can already feel that this isn't going to turn out well. "You do not, I repeat, _do not _tell anyone of what I said to you on the phone yesterday. Do you understand?" He speaks through clenched teeh, pointing a finger harshly at me.

I finally manage to find my voice along with a little bravery. "No, not really. Please explain it to me because I'm an idiot like you." Smooth move, Broflovski. You just bought a death wish. Of all the things I could choose to say, I say that. Sarcastically, no less.

Oh well. I guess I've had a fulfilling life. I'll try to enjoy my last few moments on earth before he rips me to shreds.

He growls menacingly, and I shiver in a not-so-scared way.

No.

Nonono.

Don't tell me...

Don't tell me I thought that was _hot_?!

"Don't make this harder than it is, Kahl." He says my name in that terrible accent of his, but all I do is shudder again. My temperature's rising; I don't know how much more of this I can take. My mind, my vision, my judgement: they're all getting fuzzy, glazed over with this strange feeling.

Again, it's like I'm drunk when he's the one who has the smell of alcohol on him.

Mixed with that musky cologne of his... it's getting harder and harder for me to stand. I can feel the edge of the kitchen island digging into my back as I continue to press more of my weight on it. It's the only thing supporting me right now.

His eyes are wild, burning. I can see the gold flecks in them sparkle in a mad rage as his face inches closer and closer to mine. I'm boiling now. I realize that he's doing this to intimidate me, and it's working... sorta. It's making me scared, yes; scared that I'll lose control if he doesn't back off soon.

The next words that come out of his mouth are dripping with venom.

"You tell _anyone_ what I said, anyone at all... and I'll have your head. Do. You. Understand?"

A chill runs up and down my spine, giving me another thrill. Ahh... that last word was spoken more like a command than a question.

I'm panting slightly as his gaze bores into mine. My mouth has long since gone dry and I've completely given up on words. The only thing I can focus on is how close Eric Cartman is to my face, and how much authority he's displaying right now.

And how much I'm liking that authority.

"Jew? Hello? Are you listening to me?"

He needs to stop...

"Jew! Listen to me!"

I can't take it... I'm about to lose it.

"Kahl! Goddammit!"

_Stop talking_.

"Kyle Broflovski!"

That's it. I can't take it anymore. I have to shut him up.

He growls, baring his teeth. "_Kyle_."

_Thud_.

In two seconds flat, I've jumped onto him and forced him to slam against the kitchen counter, my lips pressing harshly against his. My body is running on pure adrenaline now as I force my lips onto his. He claws and scrapes at my back, trying to escape my assault, and I claw back so I don't lose him.

He doesn't fight for long.

Slowly but surely, he relaxes and simply stands there, taking it all in. I relax too, and soften the kiss. We stand there for a few seconds, not moving at all. It's like all the world has melted away, vanished, and we're the only two left.

Finally, I pull back slowly and gaze at him through half-lidded eyes.

"Shut. Up." I say softly, managing to add a dangerous edge to my voice.

His breath comes out in short pants, face slightly flushed. He says nothing for a few seconds; he just stands there against the counter, panting and staring at me as if I've grown a second head.

Suddenly, a hand touches my shoulder; it's his.

He grips softly but firmly, the other hand gently resting on my hip. He's still very silent as he looks me in the eye, searching for something. My heart beats wildly as he looks me up and down, and I fear what he's going to do next.

His gaze is incredibly intense, and I feel all of the blood suddenly drain from my face. Another chill runs down my spine as my mind finally comes back to earth, and I now realize what I've just done.

Oh.

Shit.

He opens his mouth to speak, and I in turn squeeze my eyes shut. There's no telling what he's about to say or do.

I fear the worst.

"Okay."

My eyes snap open. I'm met with a smirk and a soft look.

What did he just say?

Before I can respond, he leans in and grabs my head, pulling me in for another kiss.

Oh. My. God.

No... no way... no way is Cartman...

No, just _no_.

This can't be happening. It _can't_ be.

...

But it is.

Unlike the kiss I initiated, this one is soft, gentle, and slow. He's testing the waters. My body freezes again; I can't do a damn thing. But really...

I don't mind.

The second he threads a hand into my hair, I turn to jelly. I collapse against him like a broken rag doll. It's hard to even breathe.

But wait... this doesn't feel right. Aren't we...?

Oh shit!

I yank away from him as fast as I can, and spin around to face the kitchen door.

There's no one there. Thank God. We're off the hook...

...for now.

"Do you realize where we are?!" I whisper harsly, pointing behind me.

His face is still flushed, and his eyes are glazed over. He's still trapped in the kiss. I walk over to him, grab both of his shoulders, and shake.

"Cartman!"

It doesn't take long for him to come back to his senses. "Wha...? Oh shit!" He scrambles to his feet and quickly looks around the room. When he doesn't see anyone, he relaxes and looks at me intensely. The look in his eyes draws me in and I can't look away. "What," he begins tentatively, "What the_ fuck_... was that?"

I shake my head, eyes not leaving his. "I... don't know."

Honest answer. I don't have a clue what that was. My body just... reacted on its own. My mind was on autopilot or something. It definitely wasn't my plan of telling him the truth. I wasn't planning on telling him at all, actually.

Yeah. That worked out well.

He looks warily about the room again before he puts a finger under my chin, that dark look forming in his eyes. Though I'm intimidated again, I don't move an inch. His eyes don't change as he leans in again and studies me intently. My heart is racing, pounding against my chest like a drum. It hurts, but I've figured out now that there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.

I consider myself quite brave for staying my ground. I can't even begin to fathom what he's about to do to me.

He surprises me, that's for sure.

My face heats up as he presses his lips against mine again, trapping me in his arms.

What the...! Did he forget where we are?!

I struggle for a moment, but it's no use. His vice grip is too fucking strong. In the end, I succumb to his kiss and let him take control.

It's actually kinda nice...

My mind races as he holds me there, kissing the life right out of me.

Am I finally getting my answer...?

Is this what I want?

Do I really love-?

Cartman pulls away again, not saying a word. He smiles, if only a little, and I feel my heart speed up.

"I...,"

That's all I have to say before a voice sounds behind me. A voice that definitely isn't Cartman's.

"F-fellas?"

I freeze for the third time that night.

_Oh shit._

* * *

*collapses* There... there you go. I told you guys I wouldn't tease. ;D So what happens next? Can't tell, of course. But I'm pretty sure you guys figured out that that's Butters who walked in on them, right? Poor Butters... you know he's going to get it from Cartman.

So, what did you guys think? Did I satisfy your Kyman craving? Are you wanting more? I hope so because I sure as hell am going to give it.

As always, the next chapter will be up ASAP. In the meantime, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!

Drop a review if you can, tell me what you think!

Until next time! Love you guys!

-Soul


	8. One Thing Leads To Another

Chapter 8, my fellow Kyman fans. I can't tell you guys how much fun I had writing this chapter. Honestly. It was fun. You'll see. I'll just say now that you may not be expecting Kyle and Cartman to get together the way they do. Oh, did I say that out loud? Silly me!

Enjoy! Hope you have fun with this one! :D

Warnings: Kyle/Cartman. Don't like, don't read. Of course, why have you come this far in the story if you don't like the pairing?

* * *

You say my life is over?

You, my friend, are so right.

So fucking right.

Can you... can you maybe give me some advice right now? Please?

I know I've been a real smart ass with you up until now, but I _really_ need your help right now because... I don't know what to do.

And I don't think Cartman does, either.

Butters is just standing there, fiddling with the sleeves of his jacket. He looks nervous and I don't blame him. I would be nervous too if I witnessed what he just saw. It would probably scar me for life. That is, if I was a normal person.

Which I don't think I am. I mean, I just kissed Eric Cartman.

Eric _Cartman_.

And as hot as it was -yeah, I really can't deny how amazing that kiss... er, _those kisses_ were- it's still something I would have never seen myself doing. Ever.

But would I do it again?

Fuck yes.

"Butters...," Cartman snarls, his voice sending shivers up my spine. Damn... that was... wow.

Just _wow_.

Apparently, Butters is just as affected as I am by his voice, but in a completely different way. The look on his face is terrified to say the least. Again, don't blame him. I'd be scared shitless if Cartman was addressing me in that tone.

"E-Eric..., I-"

"_Butters..._" he growls this time. His voice is dark and deep, and I can practically feel it rumble in the room.

He is_ so_ pissed.

Butters falls to his knees, sobbing. He clasps his hands together in a pleading gesture, shaking them back and forth quickly. "Oh, gee, Eric! I'm so sorry! Ru-really, I didn't mean to walk in on you guys! Wuh-I'm h-honest! I-I was just trying tu-to get a drink!"

Poor guy. I feel terrible for him. He doesn't need to apologize. It wasn't his fault he walked in on us.

Cartman roars and storms forward to where Butters is. He clutches the front of Butters's jacket in his fist and lifts him with ease, slamming him into the wall. My eyes go wide with shock.

Jesus Christ!

What the hell is his problem?!

Butters struggles against Cartman's hold, but it's too strong for him to break out of. His legs kick wildly about, knocking loudly against the cabinets beneath them. Cartman holds him there, watching him struggle in his grasp. His eyes are wild with rage. It's like watching a baby zebra fight for its life in a lion's clutches. It's incredibly depressing to watch and the easiest thing for me to do is look away.

But I can't.

I have to do something or he'll choke him.

Cartman continues to snarl, glaring daggers at poor Butters. My hands clench into tight fists.

"ERIC!" I shout harshly, voice echoing in the room.

Holy... did I just call him...?

He stiffens as soon as I say his name and shudders slightly. Butters glances over at me. His eyes are still wide in shock, but I can see the 'thank you' in them. I nod to him in acknowledgment and walk up to Cartman, now aware of the weapon I hold.

"Eric...," I put a gentle hand on his shoulder, my voice quiet but firm. "Let him go."

He shivers visibly when I place my hand on his shoulder and say his name again, and the grip he has on Butters loosens slightly.

Slowly, he lowers the poor blond to the ground, but he doesn't let go of him. He leans in close to Butters' face, voice still dripping with venom.

"You say one word -one _fucking_ word- to anyone about this... and I will murder you over and over again. Understand?"

There's that commanding tone again, and I feel like I'm about to faint from it even though he's not talking to me.

Butters, still shaking like a leaf, nods hastily and doesn't say a word as he goes to run out the door. Before he can leave, Cartman grabs onto him one last time, though not as harshly as before.

"Don't forget our deal." he spits. "It's still between the two of us. No. Matter. What. Okay? _Okay_?!" He shakes Butters roughly in his grasp to make his point clear. I damn near walk up to him again to punch the crap out of him for treating Butters like this, but he lets go before I have the chance.

Butters whimpers and runs out of the door, leaving the two of us alone again. I breathe a sigh of relief and lean against the counter, feeling completely exhausted. That was the longest... eleven minutes of my life.

And even though it was the longest eleven minutes of my life... they weren't exactly the worst.

I run my fingers over my lips, my mind growing fuzzy with an indescribable feeling. I have no clue as to what made me jump him... it just happened. My body acted on its own. There was no thinking involved at all, it was more of... an impulse. Which is totally weird because I _never_ act on impulse.

That's just stupid.

There's sort of a mantra I live by where I always think about things before I act on them. Because a lot of the times, there can be terrible repercussions if I go about things the wrong way.

Like right now for example.

I haven't a clue as to what Cartman's thinking right now, but by judging from the look on his face, it can't be anything good.

Yeah. I am so dead.

Impulse is never a good thing. Ever.

I feel so sick to my stomach right now. It doesn't help when he looks over at me. He doesn't say anything, and I'm not blaming him because I honestly am speechless myself. We're both stuck between a rock and a hard place now. Don't forget, he kissed me back. Twice, I might add. We both took a nice bite out of the forbidden fruit.

Question is, what do we do about it now? Do we forget that this ever happened and go on with our lives? Or do we...?

I honestly don't know the answer. My feelings are mixed right now, so I don't know which way to go. I stay where I am against the counter and close my eyes. If I can just clear my mind, I can think straight and maybe figure out the best way to go...

The peace doesn't last long, though, because I feel a finger tilt my chin up. My eyes snap open, and there's Cartman staring right at me, his expression now unreadable. My breath hitches in my throat as he looks into my eyes.

"..."

"..."

Neither of us say a word for the longest time. We just stand... and stare at each other. His hazel eyes are making me uncomfortable, and I'm afraid I'll throw all caution to the wind and jump him again.

Thankfully, he eases up off of me.

But my relief isn't short lived because he begins stroking my cheek with his hand, his touch soft and gentle. I look deep into his eyes and can make out the slightest bit of confusion in them. Maybe curiosity, too? Yeah. He's... he's trying to figure me out, I think.

I stare back with the same look in my narrowing eyes, eyebrows furrowing slightly. Though I probably can't do it, I try to figure him out, too. His look, his touch, his behavior...

What is he all about right now?

He stops his hand and opens his mouth like he's going to say something, but he doesn't. Then, I guess because he's afraid of getting walked in on again -which I've forgotten about until now-, he stands back up and walks out the door.

I blink and shake my head.

Wait... that's it?

We kiss _three times_, and all he does is stare at me, stroke my cheek, and walk out?!

I sigh. Well, maybe... maybe I shouldn't be pinning all the blame on him because I didn't exactly do anything, either.

But what was I _supposed_ to do? What was I supposed to say?! He... I...

I still don't know what I want... but I feel like I have to go after him.

_'Keep denying this, Kyle, and your life won't get any better_.'

I run out of Stan's kitchen and into the fire of the party. Music is booming all around, lights are flashing, and people are dancing in a drunken frenzy. Literally. Some of them are even puking their guts out, and some are crashed out on the couch and floor, piled on top of each other.

Stereotypical high school party.

Can't believe that Stan would let something like this go on in his own home. Funny..., he was the one who told me that Cartman is a changed person. Guess he's changed, too.

The only person I see who is still in a decent enough state to be aware of their surroundings is Butters. He's standing by Clyde and Craig, who look like they're trying to talk him into a drink.

"Come... come on, Butters." Craig hiccups through his drunkenness, "One drink won't hurt you."

Butters pokes his fingers, looking shy and unsure as usual. "B-But fellas, if m-my dad finds out that I drank at this party, wuh-he'll ground me."

I walk over to Butters and quickly grab his shoulder. "Butters, did you see Cartman come by?"

Butters nods hastily, looking relieved that I interrupted Craig and saved him from even more trouble. "Wo-well yeah. He, he came out just a second ago and left." He pointed to the front door. "I, wuh-I didn't follow him, though, because... because he looked w-awful sore."

"Thanks, Butters. That's all I needed to know." I rush towards the front door, leaving him again to Clyde and Craig.

The cold air of the night blows against my face as I escape the party. Damn, it was hot as hell in there. I glance up and down the street in hopes of seeing Cartman walking down them, but there's nothing. My heart drops a little, but it's not because I was hoping to... well... whatever. It's just... I-I'm just scared that if I don't talk to him, things will get a lot worse, okay?

There's really no point in me going back inside. I really don't want to. Considering that I really can't drink much because of my diabetes, I don't think I'll have a lot of fun in there if I go back. So I decide to just head home.

I don't get far. I take maybe two steps down the street when I'm yanked back against a warm body.

Shit. A stalker? A guy trying to rob me?

My heart pounds wildly in my chest, and all the blood drains from my face. It doesn't take me two seconds to realize the danger I'm in.

A warm breath brushes against my ear and I shiver. "Don't call me that name again. Please."

That's not a robber...

I turn around and come face to face with Cartman. I don't know whether to feel safe or more scared.

"What?" Why? I don't ask that second question out loud, but I should have because he gets angry with me fast.

"Goddammit!" he shouts, stomping his foot in a childish manner. "Don't make this harder than it is, Jew!"

This makes my anger flare.

He's such a hypocrite!

"Oh, so you feel you can ask me and expect me to not call you _'Eric,'_" I draw out the name just to annoy him, "But after years of me asking, then _demanding_ when you get on my last nerve, you still have the right to call me 'Jew'?!"

"God, do I have to say it again?!" he sighs exasperatedly, like he's talking to a small child. "It's true, Jew!"

"So what?! I guess I'll have to repeat myself, too because you can't get it through your thick skull! Just because it's true doesn't mean it's nice to call me that! Stan, Kenny, Craig, Jimmy... everyone has the decency to call me by my _real_ name except for you!"

He huffs, "Well, I'm so sorry! I can't help it! It's just who I am!"

"Exactly." I ground out, my teeth clenching together to the point where they feel they'll break. "That's just who you are." I walk up to him and push a finger into his chest harshly, thinking back to what he said yesterday. "Things don't change. People don't change. Especially you."

He stares blankly at me, frozen in place, as I continue. "I can't believe that I thought for one second you had changed, even just a little. I can't _believe_," I pause, jamming my finger again, "that I let Stan convince me that you've matured and the things you say shouldn't get to me. Because they do. For all I know, you could have blackmailed him into telling me that crap just so you could mess with me like this." I stop for a moment, then jam my finger into him one last time for emphasis on my next words:

"You infuriate me to _no end_."

And that's it. I turn and walk away down the sidewalk, not really sure of where I'm heading. He always does this to me: he angers me to the point where I can't stand his presence for more than ten seconds, makes me explode like I did just now, and leaves me so_ infuriated_ that I don't even know where I'm going when I turn and walk away.

Yeah, I know I'm probably coming off as stubborn and bitchy right now, but I honestly don't care.

This is Cartman we're dealing with here. When do I not act bitchy towards him? No, that kiss doesn't count.

"H-How do you know that?!" I hear something yell from down the road.

I turn around and see him looking back at me, his form a shadow in the night save for the little light shining on him from the party house he's standing by.

My hands clench together in rage. "What was that?!"

"How do you know I haven't fucking changed?!" He shouts back. Wonderful, he wants a challenge. He can never just take things for what they are, can he?

Fine, I'll step up. I'll break this asshole once and for all.

"All right! Show me, then! Show me how much you've changed!" Ha, that'll shut him up. There's no way he can give me evidence that he's... wait. Uh oh. Why is he walking over here all of a sudden? Don't tell me he has proof.

Don't. Tell. Me.

When he reaches me, he grabs onto my arm, but not in the harsh way he was holding Butters back at Stan's. He swoops in and presses his lips firmly against mine, pulling me close against his body.

He _does_ have proof.

He has the best proof in the world.

His hold on me is as gentle as his kiss. One of his hands knocks the hat off my head and works its way into my hair, and like a charm my legs turn to jelly again. The fuzziness clouds my mind again, and my heart feels like it's about to burst. He's giving me the most elated feeling in the world right now, and I'm shocked he isn't dating anyone considering how great of a kisser he is.

I'm glad we're standing in a dark spot on the sidewalk while this is happening. If someone happens to come along, we'll at least have ample time to cover this up. Not that any of our friends will think anything of it since they're practically getting smashed at that party...

I'm about to completely melt when a thought flashes across my mind. No, it's not the thought of getting caught, it's something else.

In a sudden burst of strength I push him off of me and break the kiss. I pant and glare at him warily. "Don't... don't try to trick me! If this is one of your plans to humiliate me, I-"

"Kahl!" he cries, a pleading look in his eyes. I look at him cautiously. "What makes you think that everything I do to you is a plan to humiliate you?!"

I can't believe he just said that.

"Because it's true, you idiot!" I throw my arms up in annoyance. "What if you're just trying to blackmail me into something? What if there's someone hiding in the bushes taking pictures for you to post on the Internet, or to Photoshop and post around the school just to show the true Kyle Broflovski?! What if-"

"Kyle!!!" he barks, saying my name right for once. The look in his eyes softens and he leans down to look me in the eye. His voice is hushed as he speaks. "Stop trying to over think things... just for a second." He pauses to give me time. I cool down and visibly relax, my face losing its angry edge. The look in his eyes shows me that he's pensive about something. Before I can ask if he's okay (quiet, so what if I have a good heart?), he speaks again.

"Now...," he whispers, placing both a hand on each of my shoulders, "...tell me. Do you really hate me? Be honest."

He does nothing after saying that to manipulate me into to giving him the answer he wants. No massaging the shoulders; no pleading look on the eye to try and win me over; no sweet gestures at all. He just looks at me and waits patiently for an answer.

I look fixedly at him. My mind is running in circles right now. What do I say? I can't possibly tell him the truth! But if I don't, what would have been the point in me chasing him out here? This is my chance, isn't it? My chance to solve my problem...?

My eyes fall to the ground for a second before they raise back up to meet his. I never noticed how... nice they looked before.

I mentally slap myself.

_Get it together! Stop stalling! This is your chance, so take it!_

_Solve the problem._

_It's staring you right in the face, waiting for an answer._

_It's not good for you to harbor these feelings, they're killing you..._

_You love him._

I take a deep breath.

"No."

And let it out.

My eyes fall to the ground again. "I-I... I don't hate you."

_Face your problems head on._

"Look, there's..." I pause and look back up at him. "There's actually something I need to tell you."

He raises an eyebrow in confusion, his eyes soft and curious. I have to admit, he looks kinda... cute like that. "All right... what's that?"

_I'm not running anymore._

...

"I-"

_Come on, just let it out! Say it!_

...

He speaks before I can. "You have... feelings for me?"

I shut my mouth, confused. Did he... did he just steal my thunder?

"No, no, no, you were supposed to let me say that." I say holding my hands up in front of me.

He shrugs, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jacket. "Who made up that rule? I do what I want, bitch."

"You...!" My eyebrow twitches. I must look like a freaking fish gasping for air from the way my mouth is gaping. "You did _not_ just call me a bitch!"

He smirks, looking up and tapping his chin in a mocking, thoughtful way. He looks back down at me and says, "No, I'm pretty sure I just did." He flicks my forehead. "Bitch."

"Why, you!"

I pounce on him and knock him down on the ground, too furious to wonder how in the hell I knocked him down considering all the muscle on him. "I will _not_ be the woman in this relationship!" I don't stop to think about what I just said.

Neither does he. "Oh, like I'm gonna be the chick!" He shouts, pushing me off of him with ease. I land back first on the sidewalk and before I can move in retaliation, he pins me down, holding my arms above my head in that vice grip of his. Only then do I realize exactly how strong he really is.

He's fucking strong.

My cheeks flush as he holds me there, his smirk chock full of arrogance and pride. I growl at him and bare my teeth, trying to think up a way to get out of his crushing hold. He leans in close to my face, so close that are noses are barely touching (his smirk can't get any wider, I swear), and I feel my mouth go dry again. My heart skips a beat or two, but it's not exactly out of fear. I can feel his soft breath puffing on my face. The smell of his cologne mixed with the alcohol he's been drinking is about to drive me insane.

He says nothing for what seems like the longest time. Finally, he opens his mouth and whispers something I never would have expected him to say:

"You're really cute when you're angry."

I don't think it's possible, but my face turns even redder and I'm almost left speechless. The only things I can manage to say are incoherent (at least to anyone with half a brain), so I might as well shut my damned mouth and save myself the trouble of making a complete fool of myself in front of him, right?

Sure.

He chuckles, but not in the way I'm used to hearing him chuckle. It's different than the way he normally chuckles at me. Different situation. Different in the way that he's not getting amusement from my torture, but in the way that he's just happy. Genuinely happy. Like he's amused from the fact that I'm cute, just as he said.

But happy? That throws me for a loop. Eric Cartman, genuinely happy? Because I come off as adorable to him?

Now that's not normal.

None of this is normal.

Figuring that I'm not going to give him a decent response, he leans in closer to me. Right next to my ear to be exact. His next words are gentle and soft, and they nearly stop my heart.

"What if I told you...," he breathes, "I have feelings for you, too?"

I feel like I'm going to die. I do manage to find my voice somehow, though. "What?"

He releases me and gets up. I absentmindedly rub my wrists and watch him walk over to pick up my hat. He brushes it off gently, and holds it out for me to take it back. "Look," he says quietly as I grab it out of his hand, "I can't... I can't deny this anymore." he laughs sadly, stuffing his hands back into his pockets, "I thought that I'd be able to, I was so close to..." he sighs, "...but when you kissed me back there, I... I crumbled. I realized then that I can't keep holding these feelings in anymore because I-" he pauses, closing his eyes and turning his back to me, "Goddammit..." he mutters under his breath.

Again, I'm nearly speechless. He doesn't walk away; he just stands there, silent. I stare at him for a moment, a million feelings washing over me, none of them bad. I... I feel... I actually feel good. No, I feel great.

"Eric, I-" It comes out before I can stop myself.

"I told you not to call me that!" he snaps, spinning around to face me. His face instantly softens, realizing what he just did. "Please... don't make this any harder than it is."

I'm about to tell him off for trying to tell me what to do, but something stops me. My eyes soften and I sigh. "Sorry...," I mumble, "I forgot."

He sighs as well and slowly walks back to where I'm sitting on the ground, holding his hand out to me. I hesitate, but don't see any indication in his eyes that he's going to hurt me, so I take it. He lifts me so easy that I feel as light as a feather. Either he's really that strong, or I'm just that light.

I'll go with the former.

"It's okay. Just... don't do it again."

I stare at him, wondering why this is such a big deal to him. Butters calls him 'Eric' all the time and he doesn't seem to mind. Then again, Butters is really just a puppet to him. A doll that he uses to do all his dirty work, then throws him away when he's done with him. It's sad to think of it like that, but it's really true.

Still...

"Why not?" I ask rather softly, "What's the big deal? You don't have any problem with Butters calling you that."

He turns so that his face is enveloped in the shadows, making his expression unreadable. Another deep sigh emits from his lips, his breath coming out in one large, white cloud. "Because, it's different when it comes from you."

I blink and don't say a word.

"When you say it, something inside me bursts. I get this funny feeling inside my stomach, and it's like I'm sick, but I know I'm really not. It drives me crazy...," he pauses and catches my eye. Time feels like it slows down when he says these next words:

"_You_ drive me crazy."

My heart flutters like it's never fluttered before. I'm almost certain that my legs are going to give any second. "You... you drive me crazy, too." I manage in a whisper.

He coughs and blushes, rubbing the back of his neck. I smile. "Well, if this isn't the most surreal thing I've ever experienced, I don't know what is." he mutters.

I chuckle softly, looking down at the ground shyly. "No kidding." I agree. He couldn't have said it better.

"So...," he blushes harder, still rubbing nervously at his neck, "What now?"

Good question. What now?

I take a second to think.

Well, I suppose there's really only one way to go about this. Who knows? Maybe this'll both do us some good. It couldn't hurt to try, right? I sure hope so. I can't believe I'm about to say this, but honestly...

I don't really think I'll have any regrets.

Maybe this won't be so bad.

"You wanna..." I pause, a funny feeling growing in both my chest and stomach, "...wanna go out?"

I breathe a huge sigh of relief. Phew. That was harder than I thought it was going to be.

His head tilts to the side, and he raises an eyebrow. Oh, no, don't tell me he doesn't-

"Go out where?"

I stare at him blankly. Jesus Christ, am I the_ only_ smart one around here?! I can't believe that he doesn't understand-

Wait, is he... is he_ laughing?! _He is! He _is_ laughing! I... He... That son of a bitch!

I growl. He's not getting the last laugh. Oh no.

"_Eric_!"

He stiffens and shudders, eyes wide. I smirk.

Gotcha, big boy.

"K-Kahl...," he warns in the least intimidating way possible.

I walk up to him and grab the collar of his jacket, smiling sweetly despite my harshness. "Don't mess with me." I release him, patting his chest playfully. "Got it?" He nods nervously. "Good. Now, give me a real answer."

His eyes shift back and forth, finally choosing to rest on mine. Taking a deep breath, he nods slowly in approval. "Yeah. Why... why not?" He smiles and pulls me into a gentle embrace, resting his head on my shoulder.

I gasp, but quickly relax and let him hold me. Tentatively, I bring my arms up around his neck and rest my head on his chest, feeling his heart pounding quickly against it. I can't call him out on that one; my heart is beating just as fast. But really, it's not all that bad. I kinda like this. It's nice. I smile to myself as we stand there in the dark of the night, snow falling lightly around us.

Romantic much?

He pulls back and holds out a hand to me, smiling gently. "Mind if I walk you home?" he asks.

To say I'm shocked is an understatement. This is... this is Eric Cartman. He would never do something like this! I mean, acting like an actual gentleman?!

Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself here. Things haven't exactly been normal lately... not that they ever have because this _is_ South Park, but... maybe I shouldn't ask questions anymore. Maybe I should just learn to roll with it. Take some risks. It can't hurt.

"Sure."

I grab his hand and for the first time notice how large it is compared to mine. Of course, he's got a good three inches on me in height, at least. Now that I think about it, I must look pretty damn feminine compared to him. Maybe I will have to be the... 'woman,' so to speak, in this relationship. I chuckle softly to myself. I don't really mind. It can't be that bad, can it? If you look at it this way, I get to nag at him for everything he does. And if I get into trouble, he can be the one to protect me considering how muscular he is.

I smile and look up at him, heart fluttering when he gives me a smile in return. He begins to lead me down the sidewalk to my house, taking a nice, slow pace. I latch onto his arm and lean against it the entire way, enjoying the warmth that comes from his body.

Well..., there you have it.

Eric Cartman and I...

... are officially together.

* * *

8D Well, as Kyle said, there you have it. But is this the end of it all? Hell no! Don't worry, if you want more, you're getting more. There's plenty to come. This story is long from over. The Kyle torture can't end now, can it? XD Naw, I'm just kidding. But there is much more to the story, so stay tuned!

In the meantime, tell me what you think! Too sappy? Too fluffy? Not enough fluff? Your feedback really helps me out! :D

That's all I have for now! Until next time~ Love you guys!

-Soul


	9. Testing the Waters

Hey, guys! Long time, no see, huh? Here's the next chapter for you! Hmm... not much to say on this one. Just more Kyle torture and fluffiness. I noticed that a lot of people thought that the amount of fluff last chapter was just about right... so I tried to maintain that in this chapter. Again, I'll let you guys decide how it is. I think I made Cartman too sweet in this (at least the beginning). XD

Enjoy!

Warnings: Kyman, a little Stendy.

* * *

"Kyle, bubbe! Your friend is here to see you!"

Finally. He's... five minutes late.

I trot downstairs as fast as I can, eager to leave. Before I open the door, I quickly check myself in the mirror, wanting to at least look...presentable.

Okay, go ahead and call me a girl. I honestly don't care anymore.

Pulling my ushanka over my head to hide my hair (no, the Jewfro is not cute, dammit), I quickly open the door and am greeted by something I certainly wasn't expecting.

"Hey."

Eric greets me with a smile and a rose, but I'm more shocked about something else. He's done this before, but it never ceases to amaze me when he does.

I look him up and down, and notice that he overdid the looking nice thing again. His hair is combed neatly, probably gelled, and he has on a nice sweater underneath an even nicer jacket. Dammit, he probably just bought those for this occasion. God, I swear he goes too far sometimes.

Though it's nice to know he did it for me.

...I think.

Closing the door behind me, I shake my head at him and chuckle. "Are you serious?"

His smile is wiped off his face when I say that. "You... you don't like it?"

"No, I kinda don't. It's not you." I reach up to ruffle his hair and notice that it's natural. Good thing because I don't want gel all over my hands from doing this. "I mean, it's sweet for you to do this for me, but I like the normal you better."

He winces as I mess up his hair. "Oh, all right." he sighs, looking at the rose still in his hands. "Here, this is for you."

I smile softly and take the rose from him, holding it carefully in my hands. Looking up and down the street and behind me at the inside of my house, I don't see anyone who will witness what I'm about to do. As quickly as I can, I reach up and plant a kiss on his cheek, and then look carefully around me again. No one. Good.

"Thank you. It's beautiful." I whisper, smelling the rose. "Now let's get you dressed into something normal."

He blinks and gives me a funny look. "What? Why?"

"Because you look ridiculous. Now come on, I might have something big enough to fit you..."

I tug his hand, but he quickly pulls it away. "Ay! Was that a crack at my-"

"No! No, I didn't mean it like that." I shake my head and wave my hands in front of me in denial. Truthful statement; I really wasn't trying to call him fat when I said that. He just took it the wrong way. "All I'm trying to say is..." I pause and look around me again for anyone who might be watching, "...that I'm a lot smaller than you, right?" Seeing no one, I press my body against his to prove my point. "See? We're probably not the same size, so I'm just worried that I may not have anything that'll fit you." I poke his chest playfully and smile.

He looks at me and raises an eyebrow. "Can't we just stop by my house? It'll make things a whole lot easier."

"No." I say firmly, pulling away from him before we get caught. "I don't want to have to go out of my way. My house is right here," I point behind me, "so let's just go in real quick and look for something." He looks a little apprehensive as he looks at me, and I'm confused. "What? What's wrong?"

"Well," he sighs and rubs the back of his neck shyly. I can't help but smile; he's cute when he's shy. "I-I just... It's just weird, okay?!"

It's my turn to give him a funny look. "What? How is it weird?"

"Uh..."

He shifts on his feet and his face flushes slightly; he's still rubbing his neck. I wait patiently as he takes a long, awkward (for him) pause, looking at him in curiosity. I try to keep my temper decent, but the longer he takes, the harder it gets. Really, he's being ridiculous about this. Sighing, I tap my foot loudly, hoping to get his attention. It works because he snaps his head up to look at me.

"Don't make me use your first name." I warn, giving him a knowing look.

He sighs. "Look. It's just weird because I feel like... you're the girl in this." I don't give any indication of disapproval, so he continues. "So if I wear something of yours... well, that's like a guy wearing his chick's clothing. And that's just weird." he finishes, giving me a nervous, sheepish grin.

I blink in response and stare at him. "Dude, we're both guys, why is it-"

"No, no!" he cries, "You're missing the whole point here!"

"It's a stupid point." I say simply, grabbing onto his wrist. "Now come on, we're wasting time."

"Kyle," he whines pathetically, tugging me back.

I stop and close my eyes, trying not to laugh. Honestly, it's funny as hell when he whines. But I don't want to laugh because that will probably piss him off, and I'm really looking forward to spending time with him today. We've only been going out for a week, and the majority of that week we've been at school, so we haven't had much time to spend together considering we're trying to keep this whole thing a secret. God knows how freaked Stan and Kenny would be if they found out that we're actually boyfriends.

Well, Kenny would probably take it better than Stan. I wouldn't be surprised if he said that he was waiting for it to happen. Stan, however, would be passed out cold on the floor.

And don't get me started on the rest of the student body.

Or the town, even. Really, the local Nazi and Jew dating each other? That even sounds wrong in my head, so it's bound to sound wrong to the rest of the residents.

And the biggest reaction would come from those inside the house behind me.

My parents.

Just to get you up to date with things, Ike of course knows that Eric and I are dating. I won't tell you the exact details of how he found out, but let's just say he dragged the truth out of me like he did before. He's the only one who knows. He promised me that he would keep it a secret from mom and dad, and he's kept true to his word so far, which I'm more than thankful for. Dad might not take it in a terribly bad way; I would expect my mom to flip, though.

Who knows what she would do if she found out. She's okay with Eric, but she's not as fond of him as, say, Stan.

"Kyle!" he brings me back to my senses. What are we doing again? Right. Getting him into some casual, normal clothes. "It's not a stupid point! I'm just taking my dignity into account!"

"Oh?" I turn around and give him an irritated look. "So if you end up wearing my clothes, you're degrading yourself? Is that it?"

His mouth is open, but he quickly shuts it. For a few seconds he's silent, and I think that he's thinking over what I just said and the logic in his point.

"No." he says, shaking his head in defeat. "No, you're right. I'm just being stupid. I'm sorry."

He pulls me into a hug. I smile and hug him back.

There's another thing that's beginning to change between us. You might be expecting me to be cautious of his quick apology and think that it's some kind of manipulation for something he's going to do later, but that's not the case. In the week that we've been together, Eric's been nothing but genuine. No cracks at my religion; no ploys to manipulate or embarrass me; no calling me names. He's just been genuine and caring.

Point is, I'm beginning to trust him, and he's beginning to trust me.

And that's becoming important to me. To know that I can trust him, once my enemy, and he trusts me... well, I don't like to get all sappy, but it's pretty special.

And that makes me love him even more.

"It's all right." I murmur, pulling back and patting his shoulder. "Come on, it won't take long, I promise." I tug on his hand again, and this time he follows me inside.

My dad gives me a confused stare as I walk back in the house, tugging Eric along behind me. However, him being quite familiar with my past irritation with Eric because of the many stories I related to him, he takes the excuse of me thinking Eric looks completely ridiculous for the sake of 'hanging out' without any question.

He even chuckles and agrees that Eric looks overdressed. Eric scowls in return, and I quickly take him upstairs before he can blurt out any harsh obscenities.

Thank goodness Eric decided to wear jeans because he might look even more ridiculous if he wasn't. After digging in the depths of my closet, I finally found a shirt that is not only big enough to fit him, but is also normal looking. Hey, I have my share of dress shirts, too.

"Okay. Let's go." I say, placing the rose he gave me gingerly on my desk. Since walking in the house with Eric carrying a rose would have looked suspicious to my parents, I had to stuff it in my jacket to hide it from them. It doesn't look too damaged. I'll put it in a glass with water when I get back.

He nods and follows me down the stairs. I quickly grab a jacket from the hall closet, yell a goodbye to my parents, and go out the door with Eric right behind me. Shutting the door gently behind him, he grabs the jacket I'm holding out for him and puts it on, buttoning it halfway. If it was colder, I would scold him to button it all the way up, but it's not that bad today. I'll let it pass.

Today we're heading to Stark's Pond. Really seeing no point in driving there since it's so close, especially to my house, we decide to walk there. Eric actually suggested we go there to spend time together since he has such fond memories of us together there. I can only imagine he's referring to that one time he took us out in the middle of the pond on a boat and tried to kill me with a wiffle bat. That's not the most romantic thing, I know, but this is Cartman we're talking about here. I can't expect a whole lot from him.

Since it's Saturday, we figure that there won't be anyone we know there since one, they probably have better things to do with their time (like play video games), and two, no one we really know goes to Stark's Pond to hang out anymore. That was more of a thing we all did in fourth grade. Everyone just goes to Raisins now. And the fourth graders now (and other kids younger than us) don't really show interest in coming here.

"Would you care for a boat ride when we get there?" he asks, smiling at me sweetly.

I raise an eyebrow and smile back. "I don't know. Are you going to try and kill me with a wiffle bat this time?"

"Hey!" he barks, pushing me playfully, "That was just that one time. I wouldn't think of trying to kill you that way now. I would find a better way."

I don't know if I should laugh or smack him upside the head. I do neither. "What's that supposed to mean?! You'd still kill me if you got the chance?!"

"Wha- No!" he shouts. "I would never think of killing you now! I just... Goddammit." He pinches his nose in frustration and falls silent.

I chuckle and pick up my pace when I see Stark's Pond in the distance. "Come on, we're almost there." I laugh. I'm about to grab his arm and run with him there, but something stops me from doing so.

Stan and Wendy.

Crap. I should have expected it, I guess. Even though most of our friends don't frequent the pond anymore, Stan and Wendy still do since it's an ideal spot if you want to get all mushy-gushy-romantic. Which is exactly what Eric and I had in mind. Sorta. Maybe not in the Stan and Wendy we've-been-together-for-years-and-love-each-other-unconditionally kind of romantic, but in the same sense.

That's just our luck. We probably can't turn back now, they've probably already seen us coming. Yep, they definitely see us because they're waving. They both look a little confused, though. I don't blame them. I'm walking with Eric Cartman here. And we're not fighting. At all. That's got to look strange.

I have my full guard on now. No matter what, I have to keep our relationship secret. I look at him and he nods back in understanding. He doesn't want the cover blown, either. The consequences will be just the same for him as they will be for me if we're found out.

"Hey guys." I greet them with a wave, trying to keep the disappointment out of my voice. Eric doesn't say anything, which is kind of out of character for him since he would usually make some snide remark to Stan for being out here with his girlfriend, so I give him a sharp stomp on the foot.

"Ow-Hey, look at the stupid hippie out here with his girlfriend! What are you two doing out here? Saving the goldfish?" he jabs in his normal way.

Stan frowns. "No, douche bag, we're just spending time with each other." he turns to me, "That's what _we_ should be asking _you_. What are you two doing out here, Kyle? Surely not planning to spend time with each other like us." he laughs, wrapping his arm around Wendy.

Stan, you don't know the half of it. I can't say that to him, though. I have to make up some other kind of excuse. So I go with the first thing that comes to mind, and that just so happens to be school.

"Uh, we're out here for a science experiment. We have to test the water." To me that's a lame excuse, but maybe he'll buy it.

He doesn't. "Dude, I don't remember anything about a science experiment. Did I miss something?"

Crap. I forgot that we're in the same science class. Of course, we have pretty much every class together. Not to mention Eric's not in science with us. Nice going, Kyle. You're a great liar.

Just as I'm thinking that our cover is going to be blown, Cartman steps in to save both of our asses. "It's extra credit. I told this stupid ginger retard that if he didn't help me with this assignment and raise my grade, I would dismantle his car."

I breathe an inward sigh of relief. Now that's believable. I've never been more thankful for Eric's keen ability to lie. He just made this a lot easier.

Stan's eyes widen and he looks at me. "Dude, you didn't actually fall for that, did you?!"

I shake my head and give my best irritated look, trying to keep up the act. "No, but he annoyed me so much that the only way I could shut him up was to agree. I don't really have anything else to do anyway. If it'll shut this fatass up, I'll do it."

I almost yelp in pain when I feel something stomp on my foot. Eric growls under his breath. Guess he didn't like that 'fatass' comment.

Wendy pipes in now, looking at us unconvinced. "Well, if you have to take water samples, where are your instruments?" Oh shit. "And how are you going to take notes without a notebook? Are you just going to remember it all?"

Damn her for being so perceptive. But really, it's not like she solved the greatest mystery in the world. We were stupid enough to come here without thinking of a good back-up story first. I look at Cartman for help, but he's just as clueless as to what to do next as I am.

"Oh, that's what we forgot, Jew." he says in an annoyed voice. "Let's go back and get those now before _I uppercut this bitch!_"

Before I have time to say anything in response, he tugs me roughly by the arm, walking away from Stan and Wendy with an obvious blush on his face. More out of anger than embarrassment, I'm sure.

"Hey, guys! Wait!" Stan calls out, watching me be dragged away by a furious Cartman. "What exactly is going on with you two?"

Great, he's catching on now, too?! Gah, I should have seen this coming! I should have just gone over to Cartman's house; we wouldn't have been bothered there.

So now Eric's dragging me away, and we probably won't even come back to the pond though that would at least cover our fake story. Now Stan and Wendy will be even more suspicious of us. I won't be surprised if I get a call from Stan tonight. Goddammit.

Cartman's grumbling under his breath as he hauls me away. He's not too happy. Don't blame him. I'm not feeling so hot, either. Just when I thought we were safe... oh, we were so close! If Wendy wasn't so smart...

"Goddammit!" he curses, stomping through the snow, "That stupid tree hugging bitch! Her and that stupid hippie boyfriend of hers! God, I hate them so much!"

I blink. Is Eric... jealous of Stan and Wendy's chemistry?

...Nah. I don't think he really cares about that. He's too egocentric to care about others. Well, to a certain extent. He cares about me.

I think.

"Yeah," I nod, still letting him drag me along for some reason, "They make quite the duo, don't they?" It's more of a sarcastic comment than a nice one. I'm really just trying to lighten the mood and cheer him up.

He stops and grins at me mischievously, releasing my arm. "That's why someone needs to break them up. Teach that skank a lesson."

"What?!" I cry, giving him an incredulous look. "What exactly are you getting at?"

He chuckles and turns around, walking back the way we came. "Nothing." he replies in a singsong voice, stuffing his hands in his coat pockets.

Well, he's changed, but he hasn't changed much. He still plays his tricks, I see. Too bad I haven't changed much, either because I plan to stop him before he does anything drastic.

"No, tell me." I say, catching up to him and grabbing his sleeve. He smiles and shakes his head. I'm about to say his name, but I stop myself. Stan and Wendy are still pretty close, and I don't want to raise more suspicion by using his first name. It's a lot quieter out here than you think.

"Cartman..." I growl, the irritation evident in my voice. Though it's the best warning I can muster, it doesn't do much to crack him. Not like if I call him 'Eric.' He merely laughs at me, very aware and amused by the fact that it's all I can call him.

"Not working." he flicks me on the forehead and runs.

It takes me a few seconds to realize what he just did, but I'm quickly chasing after him. "Come back here!" I shout.

My legs hurt only after a minute of chasing him, but I don't dare stop. This is still common between us even though we're dating, the whole competition thing, and I don't like to lose against him. Ever. But I do have to admit, he's got me outmatched. I'm incredibly out of shape considering I haven't been in any kind of athletic sport since seventh grade, and he's on the basketball team. He probably jogs everyday. In fact, I know he does because I remember him always chucking rocks at my window at six in the morning on Saturdays. That always pissed me off.

He stops for a second thinking he's lost me, but is quick to realize he's dead wrong. With an extra burst of energy, I rush him and knock him down on the ground. I gasp for air as I pin him beneath me. He could push me off easily if he wanted to, but he just lays there and smirks at me, not showing any signs of exhaustion whatsoever.

This guy's a stud.

After a minute or so, it dawns on me that we're not out in the street like I was thinking. Instead, we're in some kind of secluded wood off the beaten path. I look around and see nothing but trees and snow. Holy crap. I'm shocked that I didn't run into any trees during my wild chase after him.

I look back at Eric and see that he's still smirking at me. A light bulb goes off in my head.

"Did you run here on purpose?" I ask, relaxing a bit and sitting on his stomach.

He laughs and pulls off my hat, ruffling my hair. "Very good, Kyle." he mocks me. I frown at his mockery, but say nothing in response. The way he's stroking my hair right now keeps me from giving him a good scolding.

Again, I look around for any signs of anyone, still a little wary. "Are we safe here?"

He nods and drops his hand to cup my cheek. "Safest we can be."

I smile and nuzzle back; his hand is incredibly soft. Feeling exhausted (yes, I am _really_ out of shape), I collapse on the ground next to him, shifting close to his body for more than just the sake of keeping warm. Actually, the ground here is pretty bare considering there are trees to catch the majority of the snow that falls, so it's not as cold.

"So," I begin, resting my head on his shoulder, "...what are we gonna do?"

"Well, I was planning on just laying here." he replies, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me close. "Just lay here and talk about... stuff."

I chuckle. "Nice word choice." Really, could he be any more general?

"Well, I don't know!" he huffs, giving me a playful glare. "Do you have something specific in mind?"

I'm about to say no, but then I remember the whole reason I was trying to chase him down. Sitting up, I fold my arms across his chest and lay my head down on them, stretching out across his body. "Yes, I do. Why do you think breaking Stan and Wendy up will teach her a 'lesson?'"

He sighs and rolls his eyes. I'm not worried about him trying to run from me. Not only do I have him pinned down essentially, but I wouldn't let go of him no matter how hard he tried. Besides, it's safe for me to call him 'Eric' again without getting any strange stares. The game is fair again.

"Because they've been together for years, and if they break up, she'll be miserable."

I give a funny look. "Yes, but how is that teaching her a lesson?"

"I never said it was going to teach her a lesson." he replies, shaking his head.

"Yes you did. I heard you say that." I retort, burying my head in my arms. Here he goes again with the avoiding.

I look back up at him and he smiles. "No I didn't." he says in a sweet, fake voice. That's a top indication that he's lying. He knows that he said that. This is just another little game of his. I am _this close_ to using his name on him.

"Come on," I sigh exasperatedly, "You and I both know that you're lying. Please drop the game, just this once." I beg, raising my head and clasping my hands together in a pleading gesture.

He ignores me. "You think I'm lying?" he fakes a shocked look, "Kyle, I thought our trust was mutual! You're dating me aren't you?" he smiles devilishly, and I'm caught between wanting to punch his lights out and wanting to kiss the breath out of him.

Because honestly, that smirk is pretty damn hot.

Again, I don't do either of those things. I instead do what I've been itching to do all this time:

"_Eric_."

That's right. Use his first name.

It still has a similar effect of what it had on him seven nights ago. He freezes and a blush rises to his face, earning a satisfied smirk from me.

Ha. He thinks he has all the power.

"Okay, fine." he grumbles, giving in. "You win. So what if I did say that?"

I sigh and wrap my arms tightly around his body, resting my head on his chest. "Look, Eric." He grumbles when I say his name, but I ignore it. "How would you feel if someone else tried to break us up, huh? How would you feel if someone else was the cause of our fighting, but we didn't even know it, and kept hurting each other when neither of us was the one at fault? Wouldn't that hurt you more than anything?"

He sighs heavily and places a hand in my hair again, stroking it gently. "You and your good heart." he whispers bitterly, rubbing his other hand along my back. I smile and relax in his touch, closing my eyes. "Fine. I won't do it. Those goldfish lovers break up enough on their own; they don't need my help. I'll find some other way to get back at that bitch."

"Eric, please." I snap, not moving an inch. "She just pointed out the obvious. It's our fault we didn't make up a good back-up story ahead of time." I open my eyes and raise up to plant a soft kiss on his cheek as an appeal. "Just drop it. Leave it alone. For me?" I plead, giving him the best pout I can muster.

There's no way he can resist that.

And I'm right. He tries to hide his smile, but he fails. "Okay." he says softly before giving me a quick kiss on the lips. "I'll try. I can't guarantee anything, though. Keep that in mind." he pokes my nose and I let out a laugh that sounds more like a giggle than anything.

Wait, a giggle?! Aw, but that's a girl thing! Gah, next thing you know I'll be putting moisturizer on my face every night, staying up until midnight on the phone with Stan gossiping (if he doesn't hang up on me first), and start PMSing!

Well, I guess I kinda already do PMS -a bunch of people claim I do, including Wendy- but I'll probably start having... aw, disgusting! Don't make me think about that! That's just sick!

Yeah, I know I said that I don't mind being the girl in the relationship, but the line has to be drawn somewhere!

Pushing those thoughts out of my mind, I focus back on him and notice that he's chuckling at me. I just smile and let him laugh, not really in the mood to smack him. Not that I would smack... I would punch... because smacking is (once again) a girly thing. Though I'd be afraid that I would hurt him if I punched him-

God...dammit!

Gah, whatever. I give up.

Looking back at Eric, I reach a hand up to tangle in his hair. "I guess it's okay if you can't help yourself from doing at least something. Just knowing that you'll try not to is good enough for me." I say softly, reveling in how soft his hair is.

He smiles back at me and pats me on the back. "Good. It's nice to know you trust me."

That statement brings me into a whole new world. I... I _did_ just show him that I trust him, didn't I? Wow. This is something completely new for me. I would have never trusted him before, even if my life depended on it. Funny thing is, it did depend on it sometimes. I...I really trust him. And that's not a trick of the mind.

How do I know, you ask? Because I feel it in my heart.

…

Shut up! I am not being girly! I'm being honest!

Really. I do trust him. I really do.

I...

"I love you."

The words come out of my mouth before I even have time to think about it.

Holy...! What did I just say?!

He just blinks at me, not saying a word. I've left him speechless. Oh man, what have I done?! You're not supposed to say 'I love you' when you've only been going out with someone for a week! Well, at least, I don't think you're supposed to. I don't really know, I don't have a lot of experience with this dating thing. But I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to do that.

Oh crap. I've screwed up. He probably thinks I'm insane! Aw, and I can't take it back either; I know he heard me loud and clear! I can tell by the look on his face! Shit, what am I gonna do now, I've probably ruined our-

"I love you, too."

I stop.

What? Did I... did he just...

"What?" I whisper shakily, looking into his eyes. They're intense, serious, and they draw me in.

He opens his mouth and repeats what he said, a confident smirk on his face. "I said: I love you, too."

I'm the one who's speechless. My mouth opens to form the words, but no sound comes out. I feel like I'm about to faint, but I don't know why. My best guess is from extreme joy.

He gives me a worried look, running a gentle hand through my hair. "Kyle? Kyle, you okay?"

"I...I don't get it..." I whisper, staring ahead of me but not really seeing anything. "How can we both say we love each other when we've only been going out for a week?"

Eric is silent for a second, the only sound around us being our breathing. He continues to thread his fingers through my hair, but my mind is racing too fast to really enjoy it.

Out of the corner of my eye I see him move, and he plants a kiss against my right cheek. "I think I do." he whispers, his breath hot against my cold ear. "We've been harboring our feelings for so long now... it's like our relationship is already advanced, well past the 'crush/puppy love' phase. We automatically love each other when we admit our feelings because they've been bottled up inside us for so long, suppressed by the hate and loathing we put up as a front." He chuckles, pulling back to look at me with those beautiful eyes of his. "At least, that's what I think."

"I...I think that's pretty damn accurate." I breathe in agreement.

He laughs and pulls me into a soft embrace. I gasp, but relax in his hold. My eyelids begin to droop, and I can't believe I'm that tired. Maybe I need to join the track team or something. It would probably do me some good. It wouldn't make me Mr. Stud Macho Man here, but that's okay. I just need to be able to hold my own in a chase against him. Because goodness knows I'll probably be chasing after him a lot.

I'll never let him go, that's for sure. He's starting to mean too much to me now. I would absolutely break if he ever left me.

And as I sit here in his arms, about to fall asleep, I can't help but notice how warm his body feels against mine.

* * *

_I love you, Kyle Broflovski._

* * *

Haha! How's that for a confession? Yeah, I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm a little tired. Anyway, I was thinking when I started this chapter that I was going to leave you guys with a cliffhanger, but when it started to get a little long, I decided not to. So be glad I didn't leave you guys hanging.

Speaking of that, I start college next Wednesday, so I may be cut down on time. The first few weeks may not be so bad because it'll just be starting out, but I may find that I'll have less and less free time to dedicate to this story. My grades are my top priority. So be expecting weekend updates as opposed to the random 'Hey! She updated again and it's Tuesday!' kind of thing I've been doing. This doesn't mean I'm dropping the story, it's just that I'm about to have a life. I love this story too much to let it go, and I definitely don't want to leave you guys hanging. So just bear with me.

On another note (should have mentioned this last chapter), I figured out that I had the anonymous reviews turned off. I guess because it's set that way when you first get an account? Don't know. Anyway, now people who either don't want to log in or don't have an account can review if they want! And if you're anonymous and wanted to review before I'm so sorry! I totally didn't know.

Okay, I'll leave you guys with that for now! Hope you liked it! Love ya!

-Soul


	10. Wait For You

Okay. I promised myself that I would post a new chapter before the weekend is over. And I kept that promise. I'll just tell you guys now that you'll either hate this chapter or... not. I won't say love because... hmm. You'll just have to read it and see what I'm talking about.

Hope you enjoy! I really do. Please don't kill me because of the ending. D:

* * *

Later that day, Eric took me over to his house and we basically just relaxed there. As I had predicted, we weren't bothered at all. His mom was out again for who knows what (though he and I have a pretty good idea), something that sparked my curiosity and led me to ask him how she was faring.

It wasn't the best question in the world to ask him.

According to him, the past several months saw her leaving the house more frequently and for longer periods of time. He told me she claimed that she was merely looking for a job, but he had figured out quite quickly that this was not the case at all. She would have returned home a long time ago to relate the good news to him if that had actually happened.

"My best guess," he muttered quietly, eyebrows furrowed in irritation, "is that she's found some guy that's a little more than just a quick fuck. A guy that she's actually going steady with." He chuckled and shook his head, looking at me. "I know, it's hard to believe, huh?"

At this point I began rubbing his back in comfort, trying to alleviate some of the pain he must be feeling. I know I would be pretty broken if my mom just up and left without a word. Even though he's almost old enough to be considered an adult- he's turning eighteen in February- it doesn't mean she can just up and leave and figure he can deal with things on his own.

I mean, he's still going to be seventeen for two more months. She's still technically responsible as a provider.

Not only that, but apparently Mr. Kitty, his beloved cat is in pretty bad shape right now. The cat isn't getting any younger, but I didn't have near the heart to tell him that. Mr. Kitty is the only cat he's had his whole life and he's grown real close to it. Even though he didn't (and still isn't) show it on the outside, he's devastated. I can just tell. I've never really owned a pet that I was close to so I can't really relate to him, but I can pretty much read his hidden emotions and tell it isn't helping him.

So then I start to feel terrible for him. Just terrible. I've never felt this terrible for anyone before, and I would have never dreamed that I would feel it for him. But things are different now. A lot different. I love him, and when I saw him like that, I had to do something.

So I offered for him to live at my house until he at least figures something out.

Not that I would necessarily kick him out after the fact...

Anyway, that idea was lost quick.

"No way." he shook his head, eyes avoiding mine the whole time. "I can't do that. Just no."

He didn't say why exactly, and I'm sure he had his reasons. I can think of three. One: he would have called my mom a 'bitch' like any other time, but was actually considerate enough to keep the opinion to himself for once. Two: he knows that his relationship with my parents, especially my mom, isn't the best; they may not welcome him with open arms. It would be something I might be able to fix, but I couldn't guarantee it. And three: though it was a nice offer, he still has his pride and doesn't want to feel like he's a weak person for having to take the help of others.

He's been dealing with this crap for years, so I guess I'll let it slide for now. He won't tell me when he gets into real trouble, so I'll have to keep myself updated with that, but he's proven himself capable many times before. He'll be fine.

At least... I hope so.

"It's not that bad, I guess," he tells me, "I mean, it's not like I'm depressed or anything. Not everything in my life it bad right now. I've got you."

I couldn't help but smile at this, even when I knew he was practically lying. Like I said before, he's just putting up a front. He's trying so hard to deal with this alone, and one of these days it's going to break him. I just know it.

But I'll leave him to it for now.

I really am trying to stop this whole over-thinking crap I'm so used to. It's hard. But I suppose it'll get better in time, right?

Since we were getting so depressed talking about his mom and cat and all the other things that were putting the pressure on him, we decided to change the subject. It went to the fact that Hanukkah and Christmas are both next week.

Let me tell you how well _that_ went down.

"So...," I said as we rested on the couch, my head on his shoulder, "Since we're together and all... would you be willing to celebrate Hanukkah with me and my family if I promise to spend Christmas with you?"

He gave me a skeptic look. "Won't your parents freak out?"

"I don't have to tell them you're my boyfriend." I replied simply.

He was silent for a second, then spoke again. "But aren't they aware of my intolerance of Jews? I mean, why would they invite me to celebrate that with them if they know I'm just gonna make fun of it?"

This makes me pause and raise my head to glance at him. "What are you saying?"

He didn't get what I was confused about. No words came out of his mouth; he just sat there and gave me one of his funny looks.

"Cartman," I made sure not to use his first name, "You're still going to make fun of my faith even though we're dating?" I couldn't keep the hurt out of my voice when I said that. I didn't exactly want to, either. He's my boyfriend! He should at least try to take my feelings and beliefs into account.

Not the case.

He looked at me as if I were stupid for asking that question. "Well, duh. Of course." he says as if it were the easiest thing in the world to understand, "Just because we're dating doesn't mean I'm going to start thinking Jews aren't lame."

That didn't just crush me. It did more than that. I can't even describe to you how hurt I was when he said that.

He hasn't changed one single bit.

I regret now feeling bad for him about his mom. The one time I try to show some real compassion towards him, it backfires on me completely. Though, I should have expected this. He's certainly no Prince Charming.

And I'm definitely no Sleeping Beauty because...

Aw, forget it.

So anyway, things only got worse from there. I don't really remember all the details (I don't want to, either), but it basically ended with me walking out in a rage all due to his intolerance. It goes without saying that he can still be an asshole, and that he still drives me up the wall.

No, we didn't break up. Not yet. We just had a fight, that's all. Right now, I'm sitting on my bed with my phone beside me, debating whether I should call him or not. Not to apologize or anything. I did nothing wrong. He's the one who's an intolerant, insensitive, Anti-Semitic asshole who can't even consider his Jewish boyfriend's beliefs. He's the one who should be calling me-

_Bzzzzt._

My breath catches in my throat as my phone vibrates. That must be him. A terrible feeling forms in the pit of my stomach and I hesitate in picking up the phone. I don't know if I want to talk to him yet. It's just... aw, I don't know what to do.

So I just shut my eyes tight, pick up the phone, and flip it open.

"Eric, I'm so glad you called!" My voice is more relieved than anything.

"Kyle?"

That's not Eric's voice.

It's Stan's.

Oh shit.

Holy_ fucking_ shit.

I forgot that he was going to probably call me. That was yesterday that we met them at Stark's Pond. He probably didn't have them time to do it yesterday. Either that or he was weighing the possibilities of what was going on and the actual validation in the story we told them.

I am so screwed now. Not only did I say 'Eric,' but I also said it with obvious relief in my voice.

He's bound to catch on now if he hadn't before.

"H-hey, S-Stan." It's no use. I can't keep myself from stuttering.

He's quick to his point. "Kyle, just what is going on between you and Cartman? Give me the truth."

I wince. His voice is stern and demanding, making it even harder for me to keep my voice straight and harder for me to lie to him.

So there's really no use in doing so, is there?

I try anyway. I'll laugh so hard if I lead him away from the truth. God knows he'll be shocked if he hears it.

"Stan, what are you talking about?" I try to sound irritated as I say this. My acting skills really aren't up to par right now. In fact, they never have been. Maybe, if he wasn't such an asshole, I could learn some from Eric. "There's nothing going on between us."

That only sounds sincere because right now, what with all that went down yesterday, I really want nothing to do with Eric. Not until he apologizes and realizes that he was a complete jerk.

As sincere as I sound, though, it doesn't convince him. At all. "Kyle, don't even try to worm your way out of this. I know there's something going on here, and you're deliberately keeping it from me. Come on, man, I'm your best friend. You can tell me."

Oh no. I'm not falling for that one again.

"Stan, honestly, nothing's going on. I promise."

He sighs and is silent for a second. "That's it. I'm coming over."

Before I can protest, he hangs up.

Great. Just great. How can things possibly get any worse? I guess I'll just have to tell him the truth. It'll be easier that way. Should have told him before...

I sit back in my bed and cross my arms. Guess this was exactly the thing dad warned me about. The drama in high school is outrageous, no matter who you are. There's always something. It's just that that something decided to rear its ugly head this year. Fuck, what's going to happen next? Me breaking up with Eric?

I should just shut up. Don't wanna jinx myself. That's one of the only things that's gone right this past week (though it's on the rocks at the moment), and I don't want it ruined, too.

My parents are out at the moment and Ike's at soccer practice, so I'm the only one home. That means I should probably head down stairs to greet Stan when he arrives. Groaning, I lift myself off the bed and trot downstairs, flopping on the couch in the living room.

He doesn't live very far from my house, so he should be here any second.

…

…

_Thump-thump._

Yep. What did I tell you?

I hop up off the couch and make my way to the door. Sighing a heavy sigh, I open the door slowly to see that Stan isn't my only visitor.

"Kenny came, too?!"

Kenny smiles at me, and I can only see it because his hood is off his head for once. Waving a gloved hand, he greets me just like we're about to have a nice, friendly hang-out.

"Hey, Kyle." He walks in the door and I can faintly smell cigarette smoke on him as he passes by.

I don't say a word as Stan walks in, and they both take a seat on my couch. They both cross their arms and look at me in a way that tells me they want me to get straight to the truth. No avoiding anything.

Well, if that's what they want...

...then that's what they'll get.

After closing the door, I walk over and sit on the couch next to them. Oh boy. This is going to be tough. But they're bound to figure it out sometime, and I suppose it's better if it comes straight from my mouth as opposed to someone else's who doesn't know the whole truth.

I take a deep breath and clasp my hands together. "Look, guys. There's something I guess you need to know."

Pausing for a second, I look up to their faces. They're staring at me, waiting patiently for me to continue.

"Now, promise not to freak when I tell you. It is... big news." My eyes are still on them and they nod, so I continue. "Cartman and I... are dating."

I don't take my eyes off of them as I say this. There's no way I want to miss their reactions. Kenny's isn't anything spectacular. Just as I predicted, he smiles a big smile and nearly cracks up. There's no doubt that he was waiting for this to happen. Figures he would know that. He's more knowledgeable about this crap than me or Stan.

Speaking of Stan... now that's a reaction to die for. Seriously. It's everything I thought he would do. His face completely pales and he acts like he's about to throw up. I hope not, though, because I really don't want to clean that up. He blinks stupidly and looks at me like I'm insane. Not surprised. Like I said, I figured that he would react like this. To him, me dating Cartman means that the apocalypse is close to happening.

The final touch comes when he laughs nervously, and then goes limp, collapsing on the floor.

That's right. He fainted.

I sigh and get up to grab a wet washcloth while Kenny sits on the couch and laughs. This is exactly why I didn't want anyone to know why Cartman and I are together. It's either too much to take or it's like a joke. Well, maybe it's only a joke to Kenny. If I were to tell anyone else, they would be more likely to react the way Stan did.

By the time I grab the washcloth and walk back down the stairs after wetting it, he's already up again. He still looks pale, though, so I throw the cloth to him. He scrubs at his face furiously as I sit back on the couch. Kenny's gotten over his roaring laughter, but he's still chuckling a little.

"Let me guess, Kenny." I say as they both recover, "You were waiting for this to happen?"

"Well, yeah, dude. Totally. I've been waiting for _months_."

Stan blinks and gives Kenny a look. "Dude! How do you even know this stuff?!"

Kenny raises an eyebrow and pulls out a cigarette. "I only knew because Cartman told me about it."

My breath hitches in my throat, and I pull Kenny's cigarette away from him in reflex. Good thing because I don't want him smoking in here. My parents will kill me.

"What?" I ask, my eyes wide. "_Cartman_ told you about this?"

The news does more than shock me. I'm completely stunned. The fact that I can still think like this is surprising me even.

Kenny... Kenny knew about all of this before anyone else? Before me? What the hell? I'm more than just confused now.

He nods in approval. Someone tell me I'm dreaming all of this. "Yeah. I've known about this for awhile. Cartman told me a few months ago that he liked you. I've just been waiting for the big lug to make a move on you. Looks like he finally got the guts to, huh?" he chuckles, folding his hands behind his head.

That's far from the truth; I'm really the one who made the move. I don't bother to correct him, though. It's not really that big a deal. There are other things on my mind right now. Such as...

"But why did he tell you? Wouldn't he tell Butters first?"

Butters may be his bitch in terms of torture and doing his dirty work, but he's also one who doesn't judge much. It makes more sense to me if Eric would have gone and told Butters, and not Kenny. Kenny probably laughed at him.

Kenny shakes his head. "He told me that Butters was basically useless." No surprise there; didn't think of that. "He figured that I would be more helpful in terms with dealing with it and helping him out. You know, since I've been in a few relationships myself." A few? Try a million. "So he came to me for advice. I told him to just go for it, but he was too much of a pussy to do that."

I sigh. My head is throbbing right now. To think that Kenny knew about this all this time... I feel like such an idiot. This is the biggest slap to the face you can get. I just can't believe it.

After being silent for the past few minutes, Stan speaks up. "Kyle, are you insane?! You're dating Cartman. _Cartman_."

"I know." I say feebly, looking down at the floor. "I know. That's why I didn't want to tell you guys."

Kenny pats me playfully on the shoulder as Stan still tries to figure this all out. "So, how are you guys doing? Gettin' a little action yet?" he chuckles happily, trying to bring a lighter note to the converstation.

My face flushes a deep red. _What did he just say?! _"NO!" I scream, making them both jump. "Kenny, we've only been going out for a week! It's so not like that!"

"Yet." he throws back casually, pointing at me coolly. "It'll get to that real soon, trust me." He winks and smiles. He is such a pervert it's not even funny.

I laugh sadly. "Yeah, right. With the way things are going with us right now, I doubt we'll even have an anniversary. We may not even last through next week."

Stan tilts his head curiously. "What happened?" he asks softly.

Shaking my head, I wave a hand at him dismissively. "It's really a stupid reason. I don't know why I thought he would actually be willing to spend Hanukkah with me and my family. I asked him, but he just shot me down. Should have guessed he's not willing to change his asshole self to tolerate my religion just because we're going out. I got mad and left when he said he still thinks what we do is stupid and lame." My face flushes again, but now it's out of anger, not embarrassment.

"What? That douche bag!" Stan stands, a look of rage on his face. "Did you break up with that asshole?!"

I shake my head and sigh. "No. I just walked away mad. I've been waiting for him to call me and apologize, but it's real unlikely he's going to do that. I can't imagine he feels the slightest bit bad for me because he hasn't changed one bit since elementary school." I hold my head in my hands, and close my eyes. This isn't exactly what I wanted to talk about with them. Actually, I didn't want to talk with them at all. They're the ones who practically came barging into my house demanding an answer.

Goddammit, this sucks! Just when things start to go right for once, it turns back to bite me. I had no intentions of telling them this, and on top of that Eric and I aren't talking to each other at all! Argh, it's so frustrating, I can't take it!

Ow. I look at my hand and am shocked to see that I've managed to pull a good chunk of my hair out. Wow. This _is _stressing me out.

I really need a therapist now.

A hand rests itself on my shoulder, and I look up. It's Kenny.

"Look, dude. You need to call him and talk to him. This is really gonna screw you up if you don't straighten it out now. Trust me."

I pull out my phone and gulp. Call him... should I really? There wouldn't be any point, would there? I mean, he would either laugh at me or not pick up at all. Probably the latter. And if he does pick up, he would just make fun of me again. So much for thinking he loves me, too. Really, I thought he did, but then he goes and does this to me-

"I CAN'T!" I yell, tossing the phone across the room, not caring at all where it lands. I bury my face in my hands, my eyes beginning to water. "He won't change his mind! It won't matter if I tell him how much of an asshole he is! He won't care! He'll just laugh and blow me off like he used to!"

Oh God. I really _am_ turning into a girl. Crying in front of my friends because my boyfriend is a complete dick? I really _am like a girl._

I'm poked on the shoulder a few seconds later. Looking up through watery eyes, I see Stan. He's holding my phone out to me with a stern look on his face.

"Call him. Now." he demands, shoving the phone into my hands.

I take it back and look at it again. Slowly, I open it up and stare at the numbers. My eyes focus on the '4,' the number I have him for speed dial. Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and press the number.

Before the second dial tone gets through ringing, I quickly snap the phone shut and toss it to the side again. "No! I can't do it!" I cry, the tears flowing from my eyes again. Why in the hell am I so emotional?! "There's no point in me saying anything to him! It won't matter! He obviously doesn't love me like I love him! Just because I'm willing to change for him doesn't mean he is for me! He'll never-"

By this point, my sobs are uncontrollable. I still have no idea why I'm crying, but for some reason it feels good, so I keep doing it. I feel a hand on my shoulder again, but I don't look up. I'm too embarrassed to look up. This is all just so stupid. I don't care about him that much, do I?

Do I?

…

...Maybe I do. Maybe I do care what he thinks. Maybe I do care if he accepts me or not. Maybe because he doesn't, as he proved yesterday, I feel the most hurt I ever have in my life. I mean, really, we tell each other we love each other, but he still blows my religion off like that? Thinks I'm still lesser than him? That hurts. It really does. He acts completely genuine to me for a week, but is still stupid enough to think that it's okay to continue belittling my people.

I sob harder, and the hand on my shoulder starts to rub my back in comfort. Looking up, I see Stan next to me now, a concerned look on his face. The phone is in his left hand. He holds it out to me.

"Call him and tell him how much of a douche bag he is. It'll make you feel a lot better."

Sniffling and wiping my eyes, I give him an incredulous look. "Stan! Can't you see I'm a little shaken up here?! I can't call him when I'm like this!"

"But dude, it'll make him feel even worse if he hears you sobbing like that. I know I feel like an ass when Wendy and I get in a fight and she calls me, sobbing."

This almost has me laughing hysterically. "Stan, you're not Eric! He won't feel bad if he hears me sobbing! If anything, he'd be stoked to know he made me cry! He'd probably go out of his way to come over here and videotape me or something!"

Stan doesn't change his mind, though. He keeps the phone held out to me, a softer look on his face. "Just call him." I shake my head defiantly. "Kyle." he warns, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Stan, I'm telling you right now it won't make a damn difference."

"Yes it will." he retorts, standing his ground.

"Just call him, dude." Kenny yawns, flopping on the couch and turning on the television. "At least see what he says to you."

"That's the thing." I mutter, hanging my head low. "He probably won't even want to talk to me."

I hear Stan sigh. "Kyle, you're being a Negative Nancy." he says in an upbeat voice. He's trying to cheer me up, but it only makes the tears come to my eyes again because it reminds me of Eric.

Goddammit.

"Kyle, come on." He's starting to get irritated, but I make no move to take the phone from his hand. "Don't make me make you call him."

This catches my attention. Things are getting serious. When it comes to that, Stan holds true to his word. Either you call the person, or you come out with nothing but scrapes and bruises on your body. I have to make a decision here fast. Do I dare take the phone from him and call Eric?

…

I stand up and walk away from him. "No, I... I can't do it. I can't."

He follows me adamantly. "Yes, you _will_ call him. Come here, Kyle."

I walk faster around the room, starting to get anxious. "Stan, stop. You're starting to freak me out."

He doesn't listen. "No, Kyle. You need to get this out of your system now. The two of you can't fight like this forever."

Is he kidding? "Stan, do you not remember elementary school? We fought all the time." I gain speed, now trotting in circles around the living room.

He speeds up as well. "Yes, but it's different now. Do you love him?"

"Well, yeah. I do." My voice cracks.

"Then call him and try to make up. Don't strain your relationship anymore than you have to."

"No, I can't do it!" I cry, now running. Stan picks up speed and chases after me, the phone still in his hand.

"Kyle!"

"No!"

He sighs. "Goddammit. Kenny, help me out here!"

Oh shit. Now it's two against one. Before I can think of a way to outsmart these two and get myself out of this mess, I find myself falling to the floor and being flipped on my back. My arms are instantly pinned above my head and I can't move.

"Dammit, Kenny! Why did you trip me?!" Bastard.

He grabs the phone from Stan in his free hand and shoves it in my face. "Call him. _Now_." Sheesh, _someone's_ demanding.

I struggle violently to escape. Just as I'm about to break free from his hold, he sits on my legs and holds my waist while Stan quickly pushes down on my chest and leans close to my face, holding me down completely.

"Guys, come on!" I shout, face flushing red again. "You're being so childish!"

"Childish?!" they shout back at me in unison. I blink. That was creepy, I have to admit.

"Dude, you're the one being the child here!" Stan glares at me. "Running around the room?! I mean, seriously dude!"

"Not to mention you're running from your problems." Kenny adds, raising an eyebrow. "Kyle, you need to just call him and get it over with. No matter what he says, you'll still feel better."

"What are you guys smoking?!" I spit, "We're talking about freaking Cartman! I won't feel better by calling him, trust me!"

Kenny laughs. "Dude, we should be concerned about you smoking something. You're the one dating him."

"Yeah, dude." Stan chuckles in agreement.

I can't believe this. It's like my two best friends are ganging up against me. If I didn't know any better, I would say they're actually defending him.

"Goddammit I-"

My voice is cut short when I hear the front door open. Since I wasn't really expecting anyone else to come over, I look curiously over at the doorway.

"Hey, Kyle, I wanted to say I'm-"

It's Eric.

I stop for a second to wonder why he stopped mid-sentence until I realize what exactly he must be seeing right now.

Not only are Stan and Kenny on top of me in a questionable position, my face is red from anger.

"I fucking knew it." his voice is dripping with venom.

My hearts stops and my blood freezes over. This can't be happening.

It can't.

"Eric!" I plead, Stan and Kenny quickly jumping off of me. "It isn't what it looks-"

"So I see you're doing just _fucking_ fine without me!" he barks, flames practically dancing in his eyes. "I guess I won't have to apologize to you considering you don't even want me anymore!" He storms out of the house, slamming the door harshly.

Without any hesitation at all, I spring to my feet and rush outside the door, leaving Stan and Kenny behind. I look around frantically and see him storming off down the street. As fast as I can, I run to catch up to him, hugging his waist tightly. He stiffens as I clutch onto him.

"Eric, _please_." I cry, burying my face into his back. "What you saw back there wasn't what you think it is. Please, I just... I wanted to call you, but I couldn't and they were just trying to get me to call you because I was too chicken to, and they ended up having to chase me and pin me down so I would call you, and that's when you walked in-"

"Stop." he says in a stern voice. I clamp my mouth shut immediately and just stand there. I brace myself for a harsh blow, but it never comes. Instead, he turns and places a hand on my shoulder. I look up; his expression is unreadable. "You talk too much."

Great. There's another point towards me being a girl.

I sniff and let out a shaky breath, releasing him. "I'm sorry." I breathe out, the cold wind hitting my tears and making me feel even worse. I wipe my eyes, hoping to relieve some of the discomfort.

A warm hand cups my cheek. I glance up and see him looking at me with a concerned look on his face. He sighs and looks past me, but doesn't move his hand. "Look, you shouldn't be sorry. I... I should." He looks back at me and I blink. He's not being serious, is he? Hell, I don't know anymore. He's confusing me way too much right now. "I guess I just assumed that you... I mean, I was wrong... fuck." He stops there, grabbing at his hair in frustration.

I'm silent for a few minutes. All I do is stand there and sniffle a little. I've stopped crying now, and I don't feel much better.

I hear him sigh again before I'm pulled into a gentle hug. I gasp, but I quickly settle into his warmth. "Look," he mutters, rubbing my back. "I haven't been completely honest with you lately."

My heart speeds up, but it's not in a good way. "What do you mean?" I whisper, fearing the worst.

He holds me tighter, leaning his cheek against mine. "What I mean is..." he pauses and sighs, pulling back to look at me. I swear I can see fear in his eyes, even if it's just a little bit. "When I told you I loved you yesterday... well, I only said that because I was afraid that if I didn't, I would lose you. I only said all that crap just so that I could keep you. I really only did it for me. I lied to you. I don't know if I love you that much yet... I really don't. I mean, I do love you but I don't know..."

"Eric," I whisper, ignoring his wince, "You're confusing me. What are you trying to say?"

He closes his eyes and bows his head a little. "I guess what I'm trying to say is... maybe we're taking this a little too fast."

"You're breaking up with me?!" I shout, not caring if anyone is around to even hear me say that. Jesus... Did I not mention that earlier? Did I really jinx myself again?

"No! God, no!" he shakes his head, his eyes wide.

"Then what?!"

"I... I don't know anymore, Kyle! I fucking _don't!_ I told you that crap to mess with your head and make you think I loved you-"

"_What?!_" I screech, pushing him away from me.

"Kyle, just listen to me! Trust me, I don't-"

"Why should I trust you if you don't even trust me?!" I yell, taking a step away from him. This is only getting worse. If Stan and Kenny were here right now, I would rub this in their faces.

He grabs my wrist, tugging me back to him. "Kyle, please!"

"Let go of me, you asshole!" I growl, trying to yank my wrist out of his grip. He's too strong, and now's the time when I curse myself for being weaker than him.

He grabs my shoulders and looks me in the eye. "Listen to me!" he demands in a voice I've never heard from him before. It's a mixture of pleading and anger. "I thought I only had a stupid crush on you! I thought that if I dated you and got it out of my system, it would go away! This is all just an experiment to see whether these feelings are real or not-"

"So that gives you the right to lie to me?!"

"Kyle, I-"

"Why in the world would you tell me all of that just to mess with my head?!"

"I was manipulating you, okay?! I needed you to trust me wholly and completely so that you would begin to love me without question. That way, I could see if I really love you back or not."

I snarl and rip my wrist from his hand, my anger at its highest level. "You definitely don't have it anymore."

"Kyle, no! Look, I was beginning to think that I really didn't care that much about you, not as much as you did, so I kinda reverted back to my normal self; that's why I shot you down yesterday. But I thought about you a lot last night and couldn't fucking get you out of my mind," he draws closer to me, a wild look in his eye, "and I figured that I needed to make up to you, so that I could keep this experiment going. So I came over to try and apologize to you and get you on my side again... and that's when I saw you with those assholes." He claws a hand through his hair. "That's when something inside me snapped. I realized... that I felt jealous when I saw that. And if I'm jealous about that... then I must care about you, at least a little. So I don't know anymore. I really don't."

There's nothing but silence between us for a good five minutes. I stand there in the same exact spot, letting all that he just said sink into my brain for me to think over. He claims that he cares about me, but I don't know if I can trust him now.

Not now that he's lied to me.

"Eric, I don't know if I can trust you-"

"I'm not asking you to trust me." he interrupts, taking a step forward. "I'm telling you that we took this thing way too fast. We need to-"

"Break up..." I finish for him, my voice the weakest it's been in awhile. Honestly, I've never felt more exhausted, defeated, and hurt in my life.

But... maybe this is what we need. He needs time to figure his feelings out. We need time apart from each other. The line between hate and love is too thin, and we're stuck right in the middle of it now. We need time to work our way over to the love side and away from the hate without the stress of being together almost every hour of the day.

He sighs and nods in agreement. "Yeah. Exactly what I was thinking." I look down at the ground, feeling him place a gentle hand on my shoulder. I almost run into his arms when I remember that his feelings for me aren't exactly real yet.

So I don't move.

He doesn't say anything for a second. He just stands there and holds his hand on my shoulder, his warmth more than inviting. I can't give into it, though. It'll only hurt me more... no matter how much I love him...

...it's always just about my well-being and my well-being alone. Same goes for him.

At least... that's what I'd like to think.

The hand leaves my shoulder and he begins to walk down the street back to his house without another word. After a few seconds of watching him walk off, I turn around and head back to my house feeling tattered and broken.

I don't think I'll be able to handle being without him for more than a few days. No matter how mad I am at him now, I think it'll just go away in a few days time. And I'll start to miss him. Just like I'm starting to miss him now.

This is going to be hard for me. Real hard.

But I'll do this for him. Because I love him.

And when he figures out that he does love me...

...I'll be right here waiting for him.

* * *

So I told you it was bad. I really did. What's even worse is that this is the last chapter of this story. That's it. This is the end. No more.

....

Ha! I'm just kidding. This is far from the end. Trust me. Again, don't kill me for saying that. I know I'm a cruel person for doing that to you guys, but I just had to.

Anyway, now you know what I mean, right? Either you hate this chapter or... not. Yeah.

So to sum that last part up, Cartman just isn't sure of his feelings right now. I'm basing it off the theory that he has a few mental problems and all (I mean, come on, he does some pretty insane shit), so he's a little schizo and all. Plus, Kyle's so vulnerable right now (well, not anymore), that he's completely trusting of Eric, especially since he was genuine to him in the past week they've been dating. There will be more insight on this when I write Cartman's POV of this story (yes, I am going to do a Cartman POV of this when I'm done with Kyle's). Again, hate it or not.

So this is really a big chapter. Don't worry, they'll get back together soon enough, I'm just emphasizing the point that they got into this relationship a little too quickly. Plus, it plays up more of the drama which is what I'm going for right now.

That's all I have for now. Tell me what you think! Feedback helps me out! :D

Love you guys~

-Soul


	11. There's A Fine Line

I was going to post this yesterday just so I could have another chapter up before I started college, but that never happened. It's okay, though, at least I'm posting it now, right? Probably the biggest reason I didn't post this yesterday was because I do not like this chapter at all. I can't say that enough. I just don't like it. I can't really say the real reason why... I just don't Maybe because I don't feel it's as strong as the other chapters. And the ending to me is just... meh. But as always, I'll let you be the judge. I'll just say now that the confusion evident in the larger part of this chapter is supposed to be there because it expresses Kyle's confusion. He's angered that Cartman lied to him about his feelings and manipulated him, but he still loves him. Just keep that in mind as you read this. And with that, I'll leave you guys to start!

Enjoy!

Warnings: I'll tell you Stendy fans now... they do break up in this chapter. You'll see why.

* * *

The snow falling around me is as cold and bitter as the break up I experienced less than five minutes ago.

As I walk down the sidewalk back to my house, I can't help but think I should have stopped him; convinced him otherwise; told him that he was wrong about all of this.

But how could I when he was such an asshole to me all along?!

...When he lied to me like that?

God, I can't believe I actually gave in to the front he put up for me! I feel like such an idiot! Why should I have for one second believed that he actually loves me the way I do him? I should have known this was all just one big fucking experiment for him! Seeing if he really loves me too, my ass! I bet this is just part of a plan to humiliate me, like I thought before.

Why does it have to be that every time I give into him it one way or another screws me over, or comes back and blows up in my face? Why can't I just have the satisfaction of knowing that he's finally grown up and is past all the shit he used to do?

...But I guess that's the thing I need to realize. Maybe _I'm_ the one who should grow up and learn that he's never going to change. Ever. He'll be the same racist, lazy, arrogant, manipulating, self-centered bastard I've known my whole life. He'll never be capable of love in any shape or form except for himself, so I should just give up on him and move on, right?

Because in all reality...

...men suck.

"Kyle!" Stan looks surprised as I walk in the door of my home, "What happened to you?! You look terrible!"

Yeah, I guess I must look pretty terrible. I've been standing outside in the cold for the past ten minutes and crying non stop for the last five. My boyfriend and I just broke up because we took our relationship way too fast, and he admitted he only said he loved me to manipulate me. I'm not at my best right now, that's for sure.

I sniff loudly and flop on my couch, my head hung low. "Eric and I broke up." I say simply, wiping yet another tear from my face. This sucks. Love really does hurt, I guess.

"I _knew_ this would happen." Kenny sighs, sitting down next to me. "Okay, tell me all about it."

"Well," I start, sniffing again, "He's an asshole because he told me that he only loved me just so I would think he did. This whole dating thing was just an experiment for him to see whether his feelings for me are real or not. So my heart was crushed at the expense of his curiosity. Not that he cares." I mutter quietly, another tear sliding down my face. "I'm just a toy to him, obviously. But," I take a deep breath in and let it out, "I guess I'm not anymore since we split. So really, everything is fine now-"

"No, Kyle. It's not." Kenny says firmly, putting a hand on my shoulder. "You obviously love him a lot. If you didn't, you wouldn't be acting this way."

Another tear slides down my cheek when he says this. He's completely right. I shouldn't deny the fact that I love Eric. Or, rather, loved. I don't know if I can say I love him anymore after what he told me just a few minutes ago.

My heart aches for him, though... So I'm afraid I_ do_ still love him when I should really hate him without question.

Why does this have to be so hard?

I don't answer him with anything. I just sit there in silence, my mind replaying the scene over and over again. This is going to torture me for days. Did I really do the right thing by letting him go? Dammit, I just don't know!

"That fucking asshole!" Stan shouts, snapping me out of my thoughts, "I'll fucking kick his ass!"

"Stan, calm down." Kenny commands, his hand still on my shoulder. "Cartman has his reasons. Don't get all macho yet. Save that for when he starts beating Kyle when they get back together."

"How do you know we're going to get back together?" I mumble, looking up at him. Yeah, I know I'm being negative right now, but I can't help it. I'm heartbroken and confused.

Kenny smiles and pats my back. "Because I'm going to _make_ you two get back together. Seriously, you two have liked each other for months; I can tell. No matter what, I'm going to see to it that you two end up living happily ever after and all that other stupid fairytale crap." I give him a funny look. How's he gonna manage that? "From now on, just think of me as your personal mediator."

He gives me a bright smile, and I can't help but smile back. Maybe he _can_ help me. He's one of my best friends, right? I should trust him.

"Now," he claps his hands together, a serious look on his face, "We need to start approaching this problem from the beginning. Why did the two of you decide to break up?"

I tilt my head in confusion, but simply give him the answer. "Because... we took things too fast."

He nods his head pensively. "Okay, there's your problem. Now we need to find a solution to it."

I frown. "Like what kind of solution?" I ask curiously. I really hope he has an idea because I have no clue as to how to approach this.

"Come on, Kyle. " He pats me on the shoulder, "You're the smart one of the bunch. Think of something."

...He's kidding me. Right?

"Kenny, I'm just book smart. I have no clue what to do about this!"

He sighs and pinches his nose in frustration, reminding me of Stan. "Kyle, it's really not all that hard. But I suppose that if you can't do this on your own..." he pauses and grabs a notebook and a pen, "First, you're gonna need to at least get him to talk to you. Knowing Cartman, that may prove to be a little difficult. When he gets pensive, he gets reclusive. And I can only guess he's thinking about all of this right now. He_ is_ pretty troubled about what he's feeling, after all. It's been that way for awhile, trust me."

I blink, surprised that Kenny knows all of this. Didn't know that Cartman would be this open to Kenny. Or is Kenny just that perceptive?

He writes something down quickly, then continues. "Once you get him talking to you again, do not, I repeat, do NOT try and get back together with him right then. You'll just be repeating what you did before." he writes some more and looks at me when he's done, "And _that_ was your first big mistake. You need to get to know him better _before_ you jump into the actual relationship."

I wince as he says that last bit. When he says it like that, it makes me feel ridiculous. He really _does_ know a lot about this kind of stuff.

"But Kenny," I interrupt, "I don't know if I can ever talk to him again without getting into a verbal fight with him. It'll be just like before."

He shrugs and scratches his head. "Try as hard as you can to not get frustrated by what he says to you. Look for the good in him. " Don't tell me he's lost his mind, too. I open my mouth to protest, but he holds up a hand to silence me. "Trust me, even Cartman has some good in him. Somewhere. Don't worry, I'll be talking to him, too. I'll make sure he doesn't say anything to provoke you like he used to."

My eyebrows furrow and I give him a skeptic look. I don't know if I can believe what he just said. Thinking back to what happened just fifteen minutes ago, I'm not sure if Cartman has any good in him at all. Yeah, sure, he gave me a rose and dressed nice for me... acted nice for a week, but he only did those things to gain my trust, to get on my good side. And how did that end up again?

Oh, yeah... Whatever happened fifteen minutes ago.... What was that again?

Right. Him telling me that he was lying the whole _fucking_ time!

"Kyle," Kenny snaps me out of my thoughts, "I know what you're thinking."

He does?

Scribbling more on the notepad, he then puts it down and sits up, looking me in the eye again.

"Honest, Kyle. I'm not lying to you. Cartman isn't bribing me, either. He does have good in him, _somewhere_." Exactly. Somewhere. "I've seen it." Where? Because I'm dying to see it. I need proof, bad. "He loves you. I know he does. He told me himself. He's just... afraid to admit he does."

That's enough to make me start crying again. I want to believe that. I really do.

"Then why would he deliberately lie to me about his feelings and put up a front like he did?! Doesn't he know he crushed me when he told me that?!" I yell, covering my face with my hands.

"Because," Kenny says matter-of-factly, "He just isn't sure of what he wants yet. He's still trying to deny this all, he doesn't think it's right. His heart and mind are fighting a war, and right now his mind is winning." I let out a short sob, and feel a hand on my shoulder and another one on my back. "Don't worry. I'll get him to realize he's being a complete idiot about this. Thank goodness _you_ were finally able to realize that you shouldn't deny what you really feel." I sniff and look up to see that Stan is sitting next to me as well, offering me his silent comfort. "I'll get him to listen to his heart for once, not just his mind. God knows it'll do him a world of good."

I can't say I disagree with that. All of Eric's failures, his selfishness and apathy; it's all a result of his mind at work. Considering all of the things he's done in his lifetime (grinding up and feeding someone's parents to them in chili, convincing Butters that the entire Earth's population had been wiped out by a meteor, going to Mogadishu to become a pirate, attempting to start a second Holocaust), he's not exactly mentally stable. If he's actually convinced into listening to what his heart is trying to say... this may sound girly, but it's the only way it'll give us a chance.

...Give him a chance.

Sometimes, I've worried about his mental state, and now I care more than ever. Call me crazy or whatever you want...

But for some reason, I still care about him. Even after what he did to me. I don't know why I do. I just do. Is it wrong for me to love a Nazi? Most people would say 'yes,' but I'm not sure if I can help it. I mean, I've never felt this way before. I never thought I would actually love someone as much as I do him. And my anger for him, especially right now... I guess you could say that just adds to my passion for him.

Because, really, if you hate someone that means you care, right? It's not positive, but still shows that you care; what they think, how they see you, how they treat you, what they do...

I nod at Kenny. "All right. I'll trust you on this one, Ken."

Nodding back, he pats my shoulder again. "Leave it all to me, dude. That fatass isn't getting out of this so easy. I know love when I see it."

Before I can stop, I find myself saying, "He's not fat."

Kenny looks at me for a second and then chuckles. "Right. Believe me, Kyle, I'll have Cartman civil with you in no time. It'll be easy. Let's just say I..." he pauses, looking up in thought, "...have my ways." He grins and pulls out his phone. "Then all you have to do is gain his trust. His real trust, that is." Looking down at the notepad, he tears off a sheet of paper and hands it to me. "Here. Don't lose this. These tips will prove useful to you, trust me."

That's all he says, punching in a number on his phone and holding it up to his ear. I can only assume he's calling Cartman.

I look at the paper he gave me and see that it's a list of sorts, basically outlining what he just told me. Sighing, I relax against the couch. I can't help but wonder why or how Kenny knows so much more about Cartman than I do. Guess that goes to show I really didn't take the time to pick him apart and understand him. I was just so caught up in the fact that he acted like he wanted to be in a relationship with me... I was so stoked and happy that he claimed he loved me back...

I really thought he was being truthful.

That's what hurts me the most. I thought he was really being honest with me, but...

...he threw out the bait and I took it like a fool.

Manipulative asshole...

But... maybe Kenny is right about this. Maybe he's just confused about this all. He's lost and doesn't know what to do. He's acting like this because he doesn't know any other way. He doesn't know what's right to him because...

...he's never loved anyone before.

I gasp as something comes to me.

"_You'll always be the same racist bigot who only looks out for himself and will never be capable of caring for anyone else!"_

"_Don't talk like you know me, Jew!"_

"_You couldn't care for anyone even if you tried! Love and compassion is something completely foreign to you and always will be!"_

"_You. Don't. Know. Me."_

I shake my head and blink. When I said that, he got real defensive...

I didn't think much of it when he said that, but now that I think of it...

He was obviously getting at the fact that I don't know him, and that he also is capable of loving someone. Double meaning. I still don't know him... but if he claims he cares about me (as he told me right before we broke up), "even just a little"...

...then that must mean, deep down inside him...

...he_ does_ love me, too.

There is hope.

So, if that's the case...

I really want to help him.

Yeah, it's funny, right? Who would have thought that I would ever want to willingly help Eric Cartman? But I'm not trying to pull your leg. And though this may be me giving into him again because I have a compassionate side, I don't care. I really do want to help him through this.

I... really do love him. I do.

This may be saying a lot, but... I'll do anything for him. I can't deny what I felt when I thought he was "in love" with me just last week.

Those feelings were real.

"That's right, asshole." I hear Kenny say in a bitter voice. "...No. Look, I'm telling you that..." he pauses, the look on his face growing irritated, "The world does NOT revolve around you! Would you for one minute just stop thinking about yourself, and consider someone else's feelings?! For Christ's sake, you're seventeen fucking years old! It's time you grow up, get your head out of your ass, and think of someone else for once!"

Holy crap. Kenny's really starting to dish it out. Not that Cartman can't take it because I'm sure he can.

"Well, if you do think you care about him that much, then you'll consider working this out with him. No, no, you need to talk to _him _about this, not me. Yes, he does." He looks at me, winking, smiling, and giving a thumbs up. "He loves you, _yes_. Yeah." He nods vigorously. "I'm sure he'll be all for that. _You_ tell him that. Now, are you sure this time? Don't you fucking dare lie to me because if you are, and you end up breaking his heart again, I swear that I'll give you the poor disease. That's right, asshole. You _better_ be telling the truth. Right. Okay. But then you'll tell him, right? Okay, make sure this is what you really want. And remember what I told you, do NOT manipulate him. If there's something you need to tell him, do so. I'm sure he'll take it in stride and give you the time to figure it all out, okay? Good. Later."

"The poor disease?" Stan asks, giving Kenny a funny look.

He nods. "Yeah. The retard still thinks it's real." He and Stan chuckle for a second before he looks at me again sincerely. "Okay. I convinced him to talk to you. He says he's pretty sure he's willing to try this again with you at a slower pace, and wants to talk to you tomorrow at school. He'll be at your locker twenty minutes before class starts since he's still too chicken to talk to you now."

He's chicken? Whatever. I bet he's not feeling as nervous as I am right now. But I guess this is more of a good nervous. He's actually willing to talk to me right after splitting up. I wasn't expecting that. If we just take this one step at a time...

But... does he really want me? I mean, that can't be a lie, right? Really, it's not like he knew that I was sitting right next to Kenny when he was on the phone with him a few seconds ago. So that could mean he was actually being truthful, right? According to Kenny, Cartman feels somewhat comfortable confiding in him, so it's possible that what he said is completely genuine.

I sure hope so.

I feel better now. Much better. I actually feel now that he does care for me in some way, somewhere deep down inside of him. So if we can work this out slowly... and if I can bring his real feelings out...

My stomach gets a nice, tingly feeling and I smile. If this goes right, we'll get back together in no time. And maybe this time, he won't lie to me.

I chuckle to myself. Kenny saying he's too scared to talk to me right now... now that I think about it, that's cute.

"Okay. That sounds great, Ken." I pull him into a brief hug. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

He rolls his eyes playfully and gives me a smile. "No problem, dude. Told you I could set him straight. Because to be completely honest with you," he leans in to talk in my ear, his voice lowering significantly, "I actually have something on him this time. If he doesn't treat you right, I'll expose one of his biggest secrets that will ruin him."

I blink and look at him. "Wait a minute... does he know about this?" I wouldn't be surprised if Kenny is forcing him to act nice at the stake of him spilling some big secret.

He nods in approval. "That's right. I told him that if he doesn't get himself together and actually consider this, I'll tell you the one thing he never wants you to find out."

One thing he never wants me to find out? What in the world could that be? I've never really known Eric to keep secrets from anyone. He usually ends up blurting them out if anything. But I have no idea what Kenny's talking about, so maybe he _does_ have a secret he doesn't want me to know. But what would he want to keep from me?

"Can you tell me anyway?" I ask, giving him a pleading look.

"Nope. " he shakes his head, and I slump a little. "Sorry, Kyle, but I keep my word. Most of the time." he chuckles. "I promised him I wouldn't tell if he behaved himself. Just meet him tomorrow before school and get this over with. And like I told you before," he places a firm hand on my shoulder, "Don't take it too fast. Get to know him; the real him. He's changed. You just have yet to see it. Spend time with him apart from the romance of it all, and you'll do fine. And no matter how many times your heart tells you to kiss him or do anything romantically related, don't listen to it. Let him make the first move this time."

"Let him make the first move. Got it."

"There you go." He snaps his fingers and points at me, standing up. "Just keep thinking that and it'll work out much better this time. And if you feel like he's never going to take it to the next level when you think he should, come to me. I'll fix it."

"Good luck." Stan gives me a one armed hug, standing up as well. "As weird as this still is to me, you're still my best friend and you have my full support. Don't be afraid to talk to me, too if you need help."

With that, they both walk to the front door, and I follow them. Holding the door open for them, I bid them a grateful goodbye before closing it again, heading up the stairs. I go straight to my room, flop down on my bed, and close my eyes. I let out a deep breath.

Tomorrow can't come fast enough.

* * *

This is it. I'm only a few steps away from the front doors of the school. In just a few steps, I'll be inside, walking to my locker where I'll meet...

My heart flutters and my stomach ties itself into a knot. How do I know if this is going to go well? What if it all goes wrong? What if he's not at my locker to talk? What if he was just lying to Kenny too, and just said that to get him off his back? What if-

"Kyle, just go inside."

I'm startled out of my thoughts by a voice behind me. Looking back, I find that the voice belongs to none other than Kenny. He stands there and stares at me, arms crossed against his chest. The look on his face is impatient.

I sigh, defeated. "Okay, okay."

"Atta boy." He winks at me and turns around to head the other way, off towards a group of senior girls.

Gulping, I turn and walk up the steps as boldly as I can and enter the double doors. As soon as I walk inside, I notice something oddly different about the school. More specifically what's on the walls at the moment. New club maybe? They sure are on top of the whole advertising thing, whoever they are. Their posters are littered all over the hallway; both the walls and the floor.

Curious, I pick one up from off the floor and give it a quick glance. Probably just another stupid club about-

My heart stops. Wait, what?! I reread the flyer multiple times, not believing what I see. The drama of my life- if that's what you wanna call it- is about to reach a whole new level. That is, if it already hasn't. I'm not sure anymore, really. But what's written on this flyer stuns me to no end.

"_Attention South Park High!_

_Longtime fans of the star quarterback and his Jewish friend?_

_Even bigger friends of their 'relationship?'_

_Then join the Style club today!_

_First meeting is Friday at 4:00 pm in Room 107. Free drinks and t-shirts~!"_

What. In the _fuck_. Is this?! This has to be a joke, right? Please tell me this is a joke. Who in the hell would think this is-

…

I gasp.

Cartman.

I can't believe this. I can't believe it.

Does he seriously think this is funny?! Some fucked up, hilarious way to push my buttons?!

"Hey, Kyle!" Bebe greets me cheerily, seeing the flyer in my hands and lighting up. "Oh! I was thinking about joining that club! So is it true that you and Stan are together?" She gives me a smile that has my anger rising.

My face heats up in both anger and embarrassment. "NO!" I shout, stomping off in a rage, leaving her and several others on the hall to stare after me in confusion.

This is the last straw. He is getting no -and I absolutely mean _no-_ sympathy from me. What little trust I had in him five minutes ago is now totally gone.

Totally gone.

Why in the fuck would he even do this?! It makes no sense! Is his mind really that screwed up?! This is low, even for him. If he wants to make up with me and start over, why would he do this?! He's not_ that_ messed up, is he?

"Stan, tell me the truth! Are you and Kyle together?!"

My ears perk up. Turning my head, I see Stan and Wendy standing by his locker, wrapped up in an intense fight. My eyes widen as I watch them from a distance.

"Wendy, I'm telling you, I have no idea what this is about!"

"Just give me a straight answer Stan!"

He gives her a worried look, pleading. "No! We're not, I swear!"

She 'humphs' and crosses he arms, an angry look on her face. "Then tell me why you blew me off yesterday to go to his house?!"

"Wendy, he needed my help! He's been having trouble with-" he pauses and I feel my heart race. Please tell me he's not going to spill the secret on her. Please tell me he realizes that he can't tell her why he was over at my house. "W-with his mom. She... she's been real demanding of him lately... and he needed some support."

He didn't say that with the utmost confidence, but I can't say I would have done any better. Hopefully she'll buy it. Though she is a smart girl...

"That's what I'd like to believe, Stan. Really." She turns on her heel, not looking at him anymore. She totally didn't buy that. Crap. From the looks of it, she's about to- "We're over, Stan Marsh. Go and hang out with your best friend since he's obviously more important to you than I am." She walks off, heels clacking down the hallway.

Stan doesn't move an inch. He simply stands there and stares ahead, not saying a word.

I would go over there and offer him my comfort as payback for him helping me out yesterday, but I feel I have to take care of the problem first. I can't believe I didn't think of this before. That son of a bitch! This was all a plan to get Wendy and Stan to split, just like he was planning to do when we went to Stark's Pond! That asshole, he told me he wouldn't do anything! That's another lie he told me!

I can't believe I ever dated this jerk.

But that's okay. He's about to get a piece of my mind and then some. It'll be a long, long time before he gains my trust again. A long, long time. I'm not even sure if I'll be able to trust him again.

There he is. Talking with Butters as usual, acting like nothing's happened. Playing the innocent card, just like he did last week. I lost to him last time, but this time I'll be more than sure to make up for it.

He's not worming his way out of this one.

I stomp up to my locker and give him a dirty look. He smiles sweetly and waves at me, pissing me off even more. "Hey, Kyle. How are you?"

Nice try, Eric. I'm not falling for that again. "Do you think this is fucking funny?!" I snap, shoving the poster in his face.

He jumps in surprise and slowly takes the poster from my hand. Reading it over a few times, he gives me a confused look. "Who did this?" he asks quietly.

"Don't give me that crap!" I bark, snarling at him. "I know you did this just to break up Stan and Wendy!" I lean into his face, glaring at him. My voice is low as I say my next words. "Well, guess what, asshole? It worked. They're through. I hope you're happy." I back up and turn around, looking back at him one last time. "I want _nothing_ to do with you anymore. You're nothing but a liar and a manipulative bastard. Find someone else to toy with because I'm done with you."

And with that, I turn and walk off, hoping I can at least catch Stan and help him out. God knows he probably needs it right now. He and Wendy have been together for awhile. This is actually the longest they've been together since their last break up, so that must have been hard on him. Besides, I owe him one.

I don't get very far down the hall before I'm stopped by a hand grabbing my shoulder. I'm spun around and come face to face with the last person I want to see right now. Butters trots up behind him like a small puppy following its master.

"I thought I made myself clear." I growl at him.

"Kyle, please! I didn't have anything to do with this! Honest!" He begs, giving me his most innocent look. Again, I'm not falling for it.

"And how can I believe you when you've already lied to me?!" I spit, yanking myself away from him.

"Kyle, will you just listen to me-"

"No!" I shout. "I already said I want nothing to do with you anymore! I never want to see your face again. Ever." my voice drips with venom and my glare is just as harsh.

He says nothing, and I take this as my chance to turn and walk away. The look on his face... it looked like he was hurt when I said that. But I don't care anymore.

After all, someone as inhuman as him can't possibly have emotions.

* * *

"I can't believe this." Stan groans as we sit in Physics, working on yet another lab. "Who could have done this?"

I pick a marble and place it at the top of a ramp. "I already told you, dude." I let the marble roll down and Kenny clocks the time. "Cartman is behind all of this. He was looking for a way to get back at Wendy. Even though he promised me he wouldn't..." I mutter, quickly writing down the time in my notebook. "That's another strike against him.

"Are you sure that he's the one who did this?" Kenny asks. "Surely he wouldn't do something like this knowing you would get pissed off about it." He lowers his voice a little, "He told me he really wanted to make up with you."

I roll my eyes and look at him. "Whatever. He probably just lied to you about that. When he gets the chance to ruin someone's life, he takes it no matter what. This time he managed to ruin Wendy's and Stan's."

Kenny hums and sets the ramp up higher. "I dunno. I think his life is pretty ruined right now, too." I glance at him, confused. "Look, dude, I don't know if he would do something to hurt others if it hurt himself, too. He usually puts himself before others, right? To me, he wouldn't really do something like this if he knew it would screw up his chances of getting you on his side again."

"I guess." I mutter, spinning a marble on the table. "But that still doesn't convince me that he didn't do this. I mean, I don't know that he cares about me. He hasn't proved that yet. He's just all talk. And he just doesn't pass up the chance to screw with others. This is probably all some fucked up game of his again."

"God, he's such a douche bag!" Stan pounds his fist on the table, making some of the marbles jump. "He really needs to be taught a lesson. A good fucking lesson."

"That's exactly why I came up with the perfect plan this morning in Calculus." I say, smiling deviously.

Stan tilts his head in confusion. "What's that?"

"I'm glad you asked, my friend." I lean forward and they follow my lead. "We do the same thing to him."

Kenny raises an eyebrow. "You mean put up posters of a fake club for him and someone else?"

I nod my head, smiling wider. "That's exactly right, Ken. And I know the perfect person to stick him with. The one person that will have him throwing up in disgust, and have everyone else laughing their asses off." I lean in closer and whisper in a very low voice, "Butters."

Stan and Kenny both gasp, look at each other, and then burst out into laughter.

"Oh man!" Stan laughs, slapping a hand to his forehead. "That's perfect!"

"Dude!" Kenny laughs with him, "Do you know how much he hates Butters?!"

"Exactly!" I say excitedly, slapping a hand on the table. "But because he's around him all the time, it would totally work, right?"

Stan nods vigorously, recovering a little from his laughter. "Totally, dude! That's the perfect plan. He'll be so freaked out by it!"

"Great, so you're in?" I ask both of them hopefully, leaning back in my seat.

Stan laughs again. "Of course, man. That asshole deserves it."

Kenny nods and shrugs, not as excited as Stan seems to be. "Sure, I guess. I have nothing else to do. I'm up for a little fun."

"Awesome." I smile, shifting glances between the two of them. "Meet me at my house after school today and we'll get started."

Who would have guessed that I would have gone from completely trusting Eric this morning to planning on humiliating him by the end of the day? But honestly, right now I have no regrets about this. He deserves this for not only breaking Stan and Wendy up, but for lying to me again.

"Let's make 'Cutters' a big thing."

* * *

There you go! Interesting turn this chapter took, huh? You'll just have to see what happens from here. I'll tell you now that it's about to get crazy. Be prepared. XD

I don't have much else to say here. I'm completely exhausted since today was my first day of classes, and I've been walking nonstop. I'm surprised that I was able to come home and sit down to go over this in order to post it for you guys. If this chapter doesn't seem like it's up to par with the others, please forgive me. I kind of lost my inspiration halfway through this, and I'm so tired right now it's not even funny. I'm thinking about taking a small break from the story to write a oneshot (possibly to do a collab with Angelic Guardian), so don't be surprised if you don't see me update in awhile. Who knows, I may be more inspired this weekend. But this does not mean that I'm abandoning this. Like I said before, that's the last thing I want to do to you guys.

Anyway, I'm going to go now because typing in this document manager is frustrating me because it's really sticky and slow, and that's really all I have for you. Hope you enjoyed and I look forward to seeing what you think about this chapter! Love you guys~!

-Soul


	12. If You're Moving On, I'm Already Gone

Surprise! Bet you weren't expecting to see me ever again. What's up you guys? So, I know I haven't updated in a loooong time. Inspiration and wanting to actually sit down and write have been on and off for me. And of course college has kept me a little busy. But it's mainly been lacking the drive to write. I feel terrible for making you guys wait so long for me to update, so I'm going to try my best to have another chapter up Monday. Think of it as a Labor Day present. XD

Again, I'll be completely honest and say I don't care for this chapter, either. It feels like things are going slow right now. Maybe that's just me. But it'll pick up eventually, right? :D

And if you're confused about anything or questioning anything, don't feel bad. I'm still figuring some of it out myself (I'm so disorganized XD).

Enjoy~! Sorry for the wait!

* * *

"Come on, I think there's a door open over here."

It's Thursday night and it's time to put our plan into action. Luckily tonight's football game is being played here, meaning that some doors of the school are still open with no one in the halls.

It's the perfect time for us to put our plan into effect.

Since Stan obviously couldn't join us because he has to play in the game, it's just me and Kenny. That's fine, though. We have plenty of time to put up the posters we made. My only worry is if we made enough to put up around the entire school.

We walk up to a side door that I think is somewhere near the front entrance. Kenny places his hand on the knob and pulls back slowly. It moves. He opens it more and ushers me to go in first. I trot inside and put my mind to the first task:

Tearing down those old posters.

I can feel the adrenaline rush through my body as I walk into the school. I'm not exactly used to sneaking into the school after hours to do things like this; I've never really had the reason or the guts to. But this is something that needs to be done. I can't wait to see the look on that bastard's face when he walks in here tomorrow morning and sees these posters littering the walls, taking the place of the ones he made. I just can't wait.

"Okay. Let's start taking those stupid posters of his down." I say to Kenny, walking over to a wall. Before I can start my rampage, however, I notice something's wrong here.

There aren't any posters to tear down.

"Dude, they've all been torn down." Kenny says back to me from the other side of the hallway.

I nod back. "You're right." I mutter quietly, glancing down the rest of the corridor.

When I say all of the posters have been torn down, I mean just the ones that advertised Stan and I as a couple. Those are the only ones. It's not like one of the teachers or custodians came through and stripped the walls bare of every poster on the wall.

So that must mean that someone came through and specifically ripped down those posters, and trashed them before we could. Someone had a reason to do it. But who?

It wasn't Stan. I know that for a fact. He was with us the whole time we were making the posters we're about to put up, and even said that he would love to join us in our little 'raid,' but couldn't because of the game. Plus, he wouldn't have gone out of his way to get rid of them. Not only did he not have the time to because of practice, but he knew he could trust us to do the job without him.

The only person that leaves is Eric. It makes sense. He probably came through here and he rest of the school, tearing down the flyers just to prove to me that he wasn't the one responsible. So... maybe he isn't the culprit here. Maybe I've got it all wrong. Maybe he really does care...

I gasp and shake my head. What am I saying?! This is exactly what he wants me to think, isn't it? It's all part of his plan. He wants me to think he didn't do this just so that I'll come running back to him, and he can toy with me again. I can't believe I almost fell for that.

He thinks he can win me over with his stupid tricks...

Well, I'm one step ahead of him.

Kenny walks over to me and gives me a questioning look. "So, what do we do? Do we still put them up?"

I nod my head slowly, more determined than ever. "Absolutely. He's not gonna win this time."

Shrugging, Kenny walks back over to his side of the hall and starts to post the papers up. He chuckles as he begins his work. "Whatever you say, Kyle. But I'll tell you right now..." he pauses and turns to look at me again as I pull out a poster and some tape, "I still don't think Cartman did this."

I sigh and post the first one on the wall. "I'd like to believe that, Ken." I step back and take a good look at the poster, second thoughts starting to creep to the front of my mind. I quickly shake them away. "I really would. But I know him better than that."

Even though I'm stepping down to his level by doing this... I really don't see any other way. This is his game and I'm in it to win this time. I know that I've made efforts before to have nothing to do with them, but this time I have to play. It's the only way I can get him to change. If I can win his game, perhaps I can bring out his good side. Or at least get him to quit picking on me. When he gets tired of it, I'll finally get to see him for him.

I place my hand on the tape, smoothing it down some more to make sure it sticks. "This is just another one of his games. And this time... I have to win."

* * *

Friday morning; I can't get to school fast enough.

It only took us about two hours to cover the entire school in the posters we constructed. By now, I'll bet that at least a third of the school knows about Butters and Cartman. Oh, it's gonna be so awesome to see his face when he finds out about this!

I usually get to school way before he does, but today I'm running a little late. Hopefully I'll still beat him. I want to see his reaction when he walks into the school and everyone crowds around him, asking about his new 'relationship.' I want so bad to see if he reacts the same way I did when I walked in the other day to see that Stan and I were apparently a couple.

I want to see if he feels the same way; just as angry, just as confused, and just as hurt.

Twenty minutes later, I'm at school and relieved to see that Eric isn't here yet. Good, good. I greet Stan briefly, but leave him alone because he's talking with Wendy and I'm sure that's extremely important to him at the moment. I'm hoping that he's trying to convince her that he and I aren't anything more than friends, and that this was all a big lie. If all goes well, they'll be back together. On top of that, all talk of me and Stan will be practically erased and replaced by talk of Cartman and Butters.

Walking through the halls shows me that the plan is working beautifully so far. People of all classes are chatting it up about 'Cutters,' either asking each other if it's really true, or claiming that they knew about it all along and were waiting for it to happen. I don't take the time to listen in on their whole conversations or to join in; just know that they're talking about it is enough for me. That's all I need to hear to know that this is going well.

Now all I have to do is sit back, wait for him to walk in, and watch the fun from there.

He trudges in just minutes later, and I only notice this because a few people fly past me to greet him at the door. Grinning devilishly, I look up and see something about him that only makes this all the more worth it. He looks tired, exhausted, and most of all defeated as he walks in. Perfect. Having a swarm of people rush up to him informing him of the newest rumor should really get to him.

This is what he deserves.

Before I get the full satisfaction of seeing his reaction, Butters prances up to me, looking as happy as ever.

"Didja hear, Kyle? Eric's my boyfriend!"

I chuckle at his naivety. He's so excited about this that he's getting ahead of himself. "No Butters, you've got it all wrong. This is just a joke. I only put up those posters-"

To my surprise, he shakes his head, cutting me off.. "No, he really is my boyfriend! Why, he called me up last night a-and, wuh-he asked me out!" His smile grows wider as I stare at him blankly.

Before I can question him, he runs over to where Eric is, probably to greet him with a kiss or something. I blink and shake my head confidently, laughing to myself. Butters gets way too ecstatic about things; he's probably just making a bigger deal about this than it really is. Eric's going to freak out when Butters kisses him on the-

I freeze, my eyes widening in shock. Much to my dismay, Eric's reaction is far from what I was expecting.

As Butters runs up to him, Eric smiles rather softly and welcomes him with open arms, completely ignoring those around him. I hear girls squealing in joy as he hugs him in his arms, letting the blond actually kiss his cheek shyly. Those around them who aren't screaming uncontrollably at the two are either watching on in curiosity, or handing each other dollar bills, obviously completing the bets they made. I stand there in shock a few feet away, watching the last thing I ever expected to happen unfold right in front of my eyes.

This... this is all part of his plan, right? He's just trying to break me, right? Get me running back to him?

…

...No. He wouldn't stoop this low just to get me to bend to his will.

But... maybe he would. Just for the sake of pissing me off. I mean, he only keeps Butters around to do his dirty work. This time, the dirty work must be to piss me off. Make me jealous. And I must say...

...it's working really well.

I won't deny that I'm jealous. Seeing him with Butters... he looks so happy with him.

Gah, what am I thinking?! He's trying to one-up me again, that's all this is! He cares nothing about Butters, and I know that! So why should I care that he looks happy with him?! He's only putting up a front. He's only trying to piss me off, right? Or maybe...

...maybe he knew that I was going to copy his move. Maybe he took Butters on as a boyfriend just to rub it in my face, and make it seem like he knew about the club all along. Yeah. That's it. But... Even if that's the case...

Why do I still feel so...

Man, if I keep this up, he's only going to end up winning. I can't give up. I have to stay strong. He's not going to win me over so easy. Just watch, when I catch him alone, he'll admit that he wants nothing to do with Butters. He'll say that he only wants me; he'll be the one apologizing and begging to have me back.

Thing is, I won't take him back so easy.

He's going to have to do more than beg for me to take him back. I need to be able to trust him again, and that's going to take a lot from him. He's going to have to be really nice to me and do a lot before I consider him again, just as someone to talk to. And right now, he's doing everything but that. He's just trying to make me mad.

Again, it's working. But I won't let it show. I can't.

"Who in the hell came up with this?!"

My ears catch him yelling and I look up in surprise. He's standing there with Butters at his side, holding a piece of paper in his hand and looking both confused and angry. This is what I've been waiting for! But wait a second... if he just found out about the 'club'...

I thought that he had anticipated my move. I thought that he was going out with Butters just to show that he had known about this in advance and was trying to get a step ahead of me. If he found out about the club just now, then that means...

...he really _is_ going out with Butters?!

No. No no no. He hates Butters. He can't stand him. He would never...

...would he?

Okay, now I'm really confused. Maybe it's what I was thinking before. He's just trying to piss me off by dating Butters. Right?

God, I wish I didn't have that shadow of doubt in my mind. That has to be the reason why he's doing this. I mean, who in their right mind would want to date Butters? He's a nice guy and all, but he's a little... yeah.

I breathe out a short sigh and stroll over to him, grabbing him by the arm and tugging him off to the side. With an angry look and a wave of a hand, I shoo away Butters and any other squealing fangirls, leaving me and Eric completely alone.

...

To talk! Alone to talk, not... Sheesh, is that all you think about?!

"Did you do this, Jew?!" he barks and points harshly at the flyer, giving me an angry look.

I ignore his question and get straight to my point. "Why are you dating Butters?"

As soon as I say this he stops and quickly collects his composure, smirking haughtily and crossing his arms. He leans coolly against the wall. "Oh? I thought you wanted nothing to do with me anymore, Jew."

Wonderful. We're back to square one. This is going to be harder than I thought. Maybe I should just give up now if he's going to start calling me 'Jew' again. Seriously... the things I go through for him... and he's the one doing it!

I rub my temples in frustration, squeezing my eyes shut. "Don't make this any harder than it should be, asshole." If he's going to go back to basics, so am I. "Just answer the damn question."

He smirks wider and shakes his head. "I'm sorry, _Kahl_," my teeth clench in anger as he emphasizes my name the wrong way, "But you were _crystal clear _about what you said the other day. I believe it was, 'I want nothing to do with you anymore.' Am I right, Kahl?"

I look up at him and can tell from his face that he's roaring with laughter on the inside. He's actually enjoying this! He is such a-

"You told me to find someone else to toy with." he continues, leaning in closer to my face. "And I did just that."

I scowl and back up a little. "Butters was already one of your toys, retard."

"Exactly. He's just a toy." He breathes inching closer to my face. "Just. A. Toy."

I gulp, but don't move. "What are you getting at?" I whisper, mind slowly getting fuzzy as I begin to notice how close he's getting to me.

"What I'm saying is," he leans in even closer so that his breath brushes against my ear, making me freeze, "If I can't have you, I'll go insane. I've managed to figure it all out, but you want absolutely nothing to do with me now. So the only way I can cope with no having you in anyway whatsoever... is by having someone else. Take my mind off you to the point where I eventually..." he pauses, most likely for dramatic effect, "..._forget you ever existed_. Hopefully dating Butters will do just that. And who knows?" he places a hand on my shoulder, sending a wave of chills up my spine, "I may just end up falling for him... just like I've fallen for you. Of course, me telling you this now doesn't really matter since you don't want me in return, right?"

Wait, what?! Did he just...

...Does he really...?

I can practically feel him smile as he says these next words. God only knows what he's really feeling right now.

"I've figured it all out, Kahl."

Yeah, he's clearly reverted back to saying my name the wrong way. But I can't tell if that's because he's trying to annoy me, or if he's already trying to push me out of his mind. I'm going with the former. I hope it's the former. I really don't...

Something suddenly hits me. This must be pretty awkward and confusing to people around us. After all, we are still in the hallway, and I'll bet anything that my face is redder than a tomato right now. I'm sure I don't have to tell you why. He's just so... close.

He continues, still breathing into my ear. "But here you are, still unsure of it all; still trying to get it straight. Not to mention accusing me of things I haven't done; wasting both your time and mine. But here's the thing." If at all possible, he leans in closer, his body almost pressing against mine. I'm fighting the urge to either push him away or pull him flush against me. Unfortunately, I'm leaning more toward pulling him to me. "I can't wait much longer. I don't have the time to wait for you. If you really want me, figure it out now or you won't have me. Ever."

I blink. What is he saying?

"This is your only chance. If you don't make your choice soon... then that's it. You won't see me ever again." He back up to look me in the eye. No way... he's trying to force me into this by saying that?! "So make the decision now. It's really not that hard, Kahl." Ugh, there he goes again; talking to me like I'm three fucking years old. "You either trust me or you don't."

He removes the hand on my shoulder, stuffing it into his coat pocket; I immediately miss the warmth, though I don't really want to admit that. I want to despise him for the way he's relating all of this to me.

"You either love me or you don't."

For a reason I can't figure out, a chord is struck within me when he says this. I gasp and step back to look at him.

I do lo-

Wait! Wait a second...! There's... There's no way... This is just him messing with my mind.

_Don't say anything along those lines! You'll just fall into his trap again!_

Thank you, conscience. You just saved my ass.

"_Let him make the first move this time."_

I almost forgot about that. Kenny's right. I need him to do something about this first. If I jump right into it like last time...

There's a long silence between us. I assume that he's waiting for an answer from me, but since I can't really say what I really feel, I don't have anything to tell him.

"Eric..." It's all I can say. Honestly, that's all I have. It's probably not the best thing for me to say, either. Too bad, though, because that's what came out.

Turns out that I'm right. His expression turns dark as soon as I say his name. "How many times have I told you," his eyes narrow dangerously, but no matter how fierce they look they're still beautiful to me, "Not to call me that?"

I swallow and don't say a word.

He continues, "Another thing: don't think I'll let you get off easy for putting up these posters and starting this so called 'club,' Jew," he growls, "If you don't want me to change, I won't. I promise you, I won't. I can play this game for as long as you want. And I'll do everything in my power to break you if you keep crap like this up." He smirks and I feel my blood freeze. "Don't underestimate me, Kahl. You know what I can do, and I won't hesitate to do it."

"You're lying." I don't know why I say this. It comes out of my mouth before I realize what I'm saying.

He merely chuckles lowly, shaking his head. "You asked for it, Jew." I narrow my eyes, trying to look as if what he just said doesn't mean much to me; unfortunately, that's not exactly the case. "Let's just say there'll be a surprise waiting for you when you get home today." He smiles sweetly, but it's all fake. "Hope you like it."

Turning around, he heads down the hall without another word, leaving me frozen in place with nothing but questions and thoughts about what he just said.

Great. As if I don't already have enough to think about! I have to and open my stupid mouth like that! What is he gonna do now?! Oh man... I can only imagine what he's gonna do... Dammit. I'm in real trouble now. I swallow again and notice that my entire mouth has gone dry. This isn't good. He could do anything. And from the sound of it, he will.

Goddammit.

But... maybe he's just trying to be tough. He claims he feels -my stomach flutters and I feel some of the blood return to my face- that way about me, so maybe he's just all talk now. But... How can I trust that he really feels that way about me?! Yeah, he talked with Kenny and all that, said some things just now, but all of that could have been a lie. There's no way he realized exactly how he feels about me that quickly, right?

I know I did, but I'm a normal person. _He's_ a deranged Nazi with no knowledge of compassion whatsoever! I've never seen him care for something other than his stupid stuffed animals. Which of course isn't really normal. I mean... he's got social problems! He gets whatever he wants from his mother; he has no boundaries and never had any. And counting the number of times he tried to kill me or manipulate me (not to mention other people) still doesn't have me buying his claim.

So what do I do? I definitely don't take that, right? He was just trying to scare me and convince me to go back to him. He wants me to run back. Even though I sometimes act like it, I'm a _so_ not a girl, and there is no way in hell he's going to see me running back to him like that!

I mean... what was that with him saying that he won't wait for me?! That's like... h-he... he's practically stealing my thunder again on top of making me feel like some chick in a romance novel! That bastard! _I'm_ supposed to be the one waiting for _him_! He's the one who lied to me, and I'm supposed to wait for him to change! He's basically the one who left me even though I agreed on it!

And how do I know if he's changed yet?! How do I know if he's telling the truth?! I can't trust him!

...Can I?

God, I don't know.

And really... _I_ should be the one telling _him_ that I'm not going to wait on him anymore! Not the other way around!

This is so backwards it's not even funny.

But... maybe I've got this all wrong. Maybe... I've got him all wrong. Maybe he didn't put up those posters. Maybe he really does feel that way for me. Maybe...

...he is telling the truth about this.

Did I... did I make a mistake by putting up the posters we made? Did I misjudge this whole thing?

God... I hope not. Not only would I feel horrible about doing this, but I hate it when I'm wrong.

I just wish I knew the truth. I don't care anymore if it hurts.

I just want to know.

* * *

"Glad to hear the two of you were able to make up so fast." I say bitterly to Stan as we walk down the hallway after school. Ever since this morning, my spirits have been pretty down. Nothing happened to make my day better, that's for sure. I've pretty much figured out now that I'm pretty pessimistic.

But my life's not exactly normal, so don't blame me. You'd be exhausted and down, too if you had as much crap to deal with as me.

Trust me.

"Aw, come on, Kyle." he says, patting me on the shoulder, trying to cheer me up, "Don't be so down. You'll get him back soon. These things take time. Wendy and I have been going through this cycle for years. We're more... I guess experienced at this kind of thing. Not to mention we trust each other more than you and Cartman do."

I sigh. At least one of us tries to see the silver lining in the cloud. I don't know what I would do without Stan.

He's got it right about the trust thing.

"I don't know what to do." I say, shaking my head. "I don't know what he's trying to do exactly. I can only guess that he's dating Butters to piss me off. All his talk about getting me off his mind... that's a bunch of crap. I don't believe that. I mean, how do I know he really feels that way about me?"

Stan tilts his head, looking ahead thoughtfully. "Well... didn't he talk to Kenny about that? He wanted to meet you to at least talk to you about this. Doesn't that at least say that he wanted to give it a try again?"

I shake my head again and look at him. "I don't buy that either. Neither of us heard that conversation. I'm not saying that Kenny's a liar or has some kind of deal with Cartman; I'm saying maybe he only agreed to meet me just to get Kenny off his back."

"But he was there that morning. You said he was." Stan points out.

"Yeah, he was." I mutter, my voice getting softer. "But I didn't give him the chance to talk because that was the day I found the posters all over the place, and I went over to tell him off. For all I know, he was meeting me there to tell me that he was done with me and that Butters is his new-" I can't even finish that sentence. "Anyway, point is that I can't read him now. My mind is too preoccupied with the fact that I actually love him, so I can't tell if this is just another one of his schemes. He may have only agreed to talk just to tease me." My eyebrows furrow and I stare at the ground as we walk closer to the door. "He may not love me at all."

We close in on the front doors of the school and are about to head out when I hear something scuffling close by. Something drops (possibly more than one thing) and I immediately stop in my tracks. Stan must hear it, too because he stops along with me, looking around curiously. Before we take another step, someone comes out of a nearby niche, carrying a stack of heavy textbooks.

"Wuh hey there, fellas!"

It's Butters.

Stan smiles weakly in acknowledgment. "Hey Butters." His voice is lacking in any kind of enthusiasm. Typical in the way he usually greets Butters.

I can't say I feel enthusiastic about seeing him, either. In fact, his appearance causes something to boil inside of me. Yeah. I know exactly what it is. I'm not going to deny it, either.

I'm jealous.

Terribly jealous.

I mean, I've never really been that tolerant of Butters, especially as someone hanging out with us just for the sake of replacing Kenny, but now I'm even less tolerant of him.

He's dating Eric.

_My Eric._

I mentally slap myself. What is wrong with me? Eric and I aren't anything anymore. We split. We're done. For... good. So why... so why should I be jealous?! Eric doesn't mean anything to me anymore! He's an insensitive jerk who likes to play with people like they're his personal puppets! If anything I should feel sorry for Butters, not jealous that he and Eric are dating!

…

...But I can't help but feel jealous. The thought that Eric and I are basically done... my fear of us never getting back together...

It's getting the best of me.

I try to keep my cool, though, greeting Butters casually and with about as much pep as Stan did. However, I take it a step further, trying to spice up the conversation. "So, what's with all the books?"

He smiles a bright smile and that only serves to irritate me more. Something's... different about the way he's smiling and acting. I can't quite put my finger on it, though.

"Why, E-Eric and I are gonna do some studyin' over at his house. It's gonna be so much fun!" he beams, his face the epitome of innocence and purity.

Psh. As if. Fun? Maybe for Cartman. Poor kid has no idea what he's getting himself into.

…

...Or does he?

"That's nice." I say, not making any effort whatsoever to keep the bitterness out of my voice. "I hope you have fun with _Eric_."

He blinks, obviously stunned that I actually called Cartman by his first name. However, he doesn't say this out loud. Instead, he smiles again and trots over to the door, struggling slightly with the textbooks he's carrying.

"I'll s-see you around, fellas! I told Eric t-that I'd be there as soon as I can!"

With that he runs out of the school and off to his doom. Poor kid. Doesn't he know he's just going to get played like I did? Even worse because he's Butters. And we all know the vast amount of things Eric's done to him in the past. Some of those things were even worse than some of the things he did to me.

But still, that gets me thinking. Why would Butters willingly date Cartman knowing all the crap he's put him through? Butters has taken the brunt of Cartman's abuse for years. He should know that better than me.

Then again, he probably knows Eric better than I do. So he probably does know what he's about to get himself into. He's been hanging around Eric for years. Hell, he's been hanging around him for so long, I wouldn't be surprised if he was in lo-

Oh my...

No.

No no no.

Did he-?

Holy shit. Why didn't I think of this before? That would explain everything. I don't really rely on instinct and impulse a whole lot, but this time it's really strong.

And it's telling me there's something wrong with this picture. Really wrong.

And that thing... is Butters.

That would explain why I was thinking something was different about the way he smiled a few seconds ago. Good to know my perception isn't completely lost.

That little-

"Hey, I think Butters dropped something while he was leaving." Stan says, snapping me back to reality before I can rant. He holds up a notebook in his hand, looking at it curiously.

I look at it, too. It just looks like a normal notebook. Something tells me to take a closer look at it, so I do.

I gasp.

"Maybe we should catch up to him and-" Before Stan can finish his sentence, I snatch the notebook from his hand and flip through it frantically.

Glad I listened to that something.

This is the same notebook that Eric took from me last week and never returned. But why did Butters have it with him? How did he get a hold of it? Did Eric give it to him? Or did he take it from him himself?

I can't possibly imagine what Eric could have gotten out of Butters from giving him the notebook. Maybe just the fact of him claiming that he didn't have it when I asked him to give it back to me. But Eric would have just forced Butters to give it right back to him when he felt he was safe. And knowing Butters, he would have done just that.

So that means he must have taken it when Cartman had his back turned. He saw what I wrote in there and somewhere down the line...

...realized that he was losing Eric to me. And in turn... he must have been the one to put up those posters. He wanted to ensure that Eric and I would be done for good... so he could make his own move and take Eric for himself.

It's all coming together now.

Before I get too ahead of myself, though... I'm going to go home and look through this notebook to see if any clues were left behind about any of this. If my suspicions are right...

...then Butters is the cause of all of this.

It would be the perfect crime. I mean, who would suspect Butters to do any of this? He's certainly not the kind of person you would think of as revengeful or deceiving. Or one to do something as low as _that_just to get Cartman.

Speaking of Cartman... Eric... if this all turns out to be true, then that means I'm going to owe him one hell of an apology. Hopefully I can do that before he carries out whatever he has planned to get back at me. Though he said I should expect something when I get home today.

My stomach churns uncomfortably. The ditch just gets deeper and deeper, doesn't it? When is it all going to end? Can't my life just be normal for once? At this rate, I'm going to have gray hair before I'm thirty!

I better take this slow and be completely sure of the facts before I jump into this. No way I want to make the hole I've dug for myself any deeper by making a careless mistake. Things are bad enough as it is right now.

"Kyle?" Stan catches my attention again. I almost forgot he's still here. "What's up?"

Shaking my head, I sigh and flip through the pages of the notebook determinedly. "I'm not sure, dude. But I sure as hell am gonna find out."

I said that I wanted to know the truth, no matter how much it hurt. I said I wanted answers. And I think I got my wish.

Finally...

I think I'm going to find my answers in the notebook that started all of this.

* * *

The plot thickens, huh? Is Butters really the one behind all of this? Or is Cartman the one responsible like Kyle originally thought? You'll just have to... keep reading to find out! But don't worry! It'll all reveal itself next chapter, and I already promised you that I'll try to have that out Monday. So keep that in mind if I don't end up posting it and you all want to get me for it. XD

Just kidding. You wouldn't shoot the writer, right? Because then you would never know what happens after this.

Anyway, I hoped you all enjoyed this chapter as always! I hope it brightens your day filled with homework and chores and whatever else might spoil your wonderful weekend. I'm exhausted now, so I'm going to try and get some sleep. Love you guys~!

-Soul


	13. Dead To Me

I know. I lied. I completely and totally lied. I'm sorry. But I will say that I busted my ass trying to get this chapter written. It's not like I blew it off until whenever. I'm sorry that it took two extra days, but the content should make up for it. There's a lot going on in this chapter, and though it may seem like the drama's getting to a whole new level, it's really not going to be that bad from now on. Kyle's gone through enough torture, right? Right.

Clearing this up now: the italics you'll see in a few lines is just a mix of Kyle's thoughts throughout the past couple of days. It's kind of up to your imagination to place when he's thinking what and why. Some of them are set, but a few can be placed throughout the time line. You'll understand when you get there, trust me.

Enjoy~ I really did try to get this out sooner. I really did. Thanks to TheOneWhoLivesInYourCloset for proofing. She's so awesome~

* * *

Deception.

Lies.

Betrayal.

Sometime in our life, we face all three of these things and so much more along with it. From the ones we love... the ones we think we know the most...

… the ones we least expect to do any of those things.

It can come as a shock, or no surprise at all.

However, it hurts just the same.

My life has reached an all new low now. It can't get any worse than this. Literally. Everything that had or still has the chance to ruin my life is gone now. Nothing can turn my life upside down anymore.

Finally... the torture is over...

But just because the torture's over doesn't mean my life's suddenly normal now. No, it's far from that. Let me remind you again that my life is at its worst now.

The torture's not over.

There's more to torture me with... the only difference now is that it's all going to be mental.

_God, I'm such an idiot._

Who would have thought that a notebook, a simple confession in something that was supposed to be kept with just me would cause so many problems for me?

Some of those problems being ones that need more than a simple tweak in order to be fixed.

_He's an idiot._

Relationships battered and shattered to the point where they'll never be exactly the same. They'll always have that cautious air about me, that feeling of awkwardness that wouldn't even be there if I could have just handled it myself.

And even if the problem is fixed... will it ever matter?

Our views of each other have changed.

All because of my carelessness and the consequences that came along with it. Every single damned consequence.

It ended up hurting both of us in the end, really.

_We're both idiots._

_Why did he..._

_He told the truth._

_Why didn't I believe..._

_He did love me. He didn't love me._

_I was a toy to him. I wasn't._

_He was too prideful to admit his feelings. He was stupid not to._

_He didn't want to hurt himself. He was in denial._

_He wanted to own me._

_He had me, but now he doesn't._

_I should hate him for what he's done to me, but I can't..._

…_because all those things showed me that he at least cared._

"_He does care deep down inside, Kyle. He's told me himself..."_

"_Then why can't he let those feelings surface for once?!"_

"_He's ashamed. Scared. You should know as well as anyone... when he doesn't understand something, he freaks."_

_That asshole..._

_Forget him. He's gone for good now. Forget he ever existed. All he does is hurt you. He takes your presence for granted. Punish him by forgetting him._

…

_You shouldn't love him, but you do anyway._

_You always will._

_Idiot._

I have to say... I hate myself now. How could I have been so careless...! If I had just kept better track of that notebook, none of this would have ever happened!

I mean, how was I supposed to know that one stupid notebook would have set a chain reaction off?!

Did I think things would be easy and be handed to me on a silver platter? They never are. This wasn't and won't ever be something that's going to fall into my lap.

But now it doesn't really matter what I do. The damage is done, and there's not a whole lot I can do to fix it.

That doesn't mean that I'm not going to try, though.

Heh. I should have kept things to myself, huh? It surely would have saved me all the trouble and drama, that's for sure.

...No. It's never good to keep things bottled up inside. What I really should have done was tell them face to face from the start. Things might have gone a lot smoother that way.

At least it would have come from me, not from him.

…

Oh! Sorry. Guess I'm getting a little ahead of myself. I must have you pretty lost right now, am I right?

Don't worry. If you're curious, I'll tell you everything that's happened since you left. I won't be surprised if you're shocked and confused, and I won't be surprised if you say that you saw this coming all along.

After all, I felt a little (no, try a lot) of both when I finally got this all straightened out.

Right. So the notebook. I didn't bother digging through it right that second. I had decided that I could wait until I got home and up to my room where I could look through it in peace.

But peace was the last thing I got when I arrived home that day.

Yeah. You remember Cartman telling me to be expecting a surprise when I got home? Well, he wasn't bluffing. Not that he ever does.

There was one hell of a surprise waiting for me there. I'll tell you that now.

So, imagine coming home to complete and utter chaos. Now multiply that by... let's say fifty times. Add in the fact that I'm walking home with Stan. I know, that might not make much sense to you now, but it will in a second, trust me. Now add my mother into the mix. Yeah, I don't have to explain that, right?

And of course, the final, most crucial ingredient of all:

Cartman spilling my sexuality to my parents.

Oh, yeah. That's right, now you get it.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't exactly chaos in that sense of the word. I only added that for effect. But what I came home to that day certainly wasn't what I wanted to walk home to on a Friday, especially considering the crappy day I had.

Want the whole story? Well, okay. I'll try my best. It went a little something like this...

* * *

Stan and I walk up to the front door of my house after what was probably one of the longest days of my life. Really, I'm itching to run up to my room and collapse on my bed. A nice nap might help brace me for what I might find stashed in this notebook of mine.

That is, if there's anything worthwhile in it at all. And if I do find anything in there, I'm pretty sure I'll be able to handle it. It's like I've built up an immunity to surprises this past week. I should have with all the stuff that's been shot at me. Besides, I think I've got a lot of this figured out now. I really just need to make sure it's all true.

And if the answers aren't there... I'll just have to seek them out somewhere else.

Namely in the root (or rather roots) of the problem.

We stop at the front steps, preparing to split so that he can go home for the weekend. I crack the front door open, staying on the steps to see him off.

"I'll try and call you sometime this weekend," he says, his hands stuffed in his coat pockets in his usual way, "Maybe we can hang out or something. My parents are going out to some dinner party on Saturday, so I'll try to have you over then if you'd like. I just need to check with Wendy first." He chuckles.

I laugh with him (it's funny because it's pretty true), but it's cut short when the door is yanked back from behind me by one hell of an angry mother.

Uh oh...

When I turn to face her, I see the look on her face and my mouth gapes open in a flash, staying there. I'm confused and cautious at the same time. There's no way I can really describe her face to you, but I'll tell you that it's one of those looks.

Yeah.

I can't help but wonder what in the hell happened here. Did I do something wrong? I can't imagine what.

"Get away from my bubbe!" She looks right past me at Stan, shooing him away with a hand, "You've been a terrible influence on him! I always knew there was something peculiar about you, Mr. Marsh!"

Before I can fathom what in the hell she's talking about, she grabs my shoulder and yanks me back into the house.

Well, this is certainly a new way of being welcomed home...

"Mom, what's going on?!" I immediately ask, watching on in disbelief as she rather rudely slams the door on a very confused Stan. I'm careful not to cuss because that'll only serve to anger her more. I definitely don't want that.

"Kyle... we have reason to believe you're gay. Is this true?" my dad asks calmly from behind me. I turn around to see him and Ike standing in the doorway to the kitchen. As I look at my younger brother, I notice that he looks... what's the word? Guilty. Yeah. Like he's just spilled...

I can't believe it. Was he the one who did this?!

My fists clench together and I let out a low growl. "Ike!" I shout, "You said you weren't going to rat me out!"

"Leave your brother out of this, Kyle!" My mother barks, "He had nothing to do with telling us this! One of your friends was kind enough to do that."

Kind enough? Psh, yeah right! What friend would go and tell someone's parents that they're gay?! That's something you would only do if you had a reason to ruin their life. If you had something against someone, you would do that, but-

My eyes widen in realization.

That son of a bitch.

This must be the surprise he was telling me about. I should have expected something like this from him. Why am I surprised? When it gets right down to getting his way, he shows no mercy.

Yeah. I don't even have to tell you who did this, right? Good. I don't think I can stand to say his name right now.

What I don't get is why my parents actually believe him and listened to him.

"Don't tell me you guys actually listened to that asshole!" I shout. Throwing my arms up in exasperation. Screw trying not to cuss. I'm too pissed to worry about that.

I mean, really! Haven't they been around Cartman enough to know that he's usually full of crap?! I sigh. Maybe not.

And... he's not exactly all full of it this time. Part of what he told them is true, but I'll bet you anything, anything at all, that he told him some stupid lie along with it. It's just part of his manipulative nature. A lie would have convinced them to take his word.

I'll just take a wild guess and say that he convinced them to think that I'm screwing Stan behind everyone's back. That might have roped them in. I spend a lot of time with Stan, we're best friends, so it would make sense that we might be messing around. It would definitely explain why my mother was so cold to Stan at the door. She practically freaked when she saw us together.

Is that jerk gonna get it from me when I get the chance...

"Well, that's why we need to hear it from you, Kyle. We won't believe something like that is true unless it comes from your mouth alone."

Thanks the stars I have a nice, calm, logical dad. If he was as tense as my mom is rihgt now (honestly, she looks like she's about to pop a blood vessel), I think I'd go insane. Two parents who freak out over every little thing... not good. Truthfully, I feel better about telling him the truth than her. But I guess I should be fair and let her know, too. She is my mom after all. She deserves to know just as much about me as my dad, regardless of how he's probably going to handle it.

I shudder. I can only imaging how she's going to react to this. This is why I wanted to wait until I was living in my own place until I let them know my sexual orientation. So much for that...

Well... here it goes...

I take a deep breath, let it out, and look between my mom and dad once before I speak.

"Yeah. It's true. I'm gay."

"Whatwhatwhat?!!!"

Here we go...

My mom is literally pulling out her hair out in shock as my dad walks over to me and places a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"Kyle, I want you to know that we still love you and will always be here-"

"Oh my poor baby, tainted by the scoundrels in this disgusting mountain town!" My mom picks me up and holds me in a bone-crushing hug, "I knew we should have moved here!"

Greaaaat. Now she's going to think small towns are poisonous, too. Next thing you know, we'll be moving to Mars. Because that'll solve everything.

Yeah, you missed my sarcasm, didn't you?

"Mom, don't blame the town." I groan, wincing as she practically suffocates me in her hold, "It didn't make me this way."

She's so close-minded sometimes.

"Oh Gerald!" she cries, instantly dropping me and running over to my dad, "That Eric boy was right! He's so confused and lost that he's been blinded from the truth!" She races back over to me, gripping my shoulder and looking me in the eyes. "Kyle, tell me: has Stan talked you into doing things you know are wrong?"

Ugh. What did I tell you? That asshole is so predictable...

I give her an incredulous look, furrowing my eyebrows. "What?! No!"

Eric Cartman, you are dead to me.

"Now Sheila," my dad interrupts, "Don't get so ahead of yourself. We don't even know if what any of that Eric kid said is true. He may have just exaggerated things to scare us."

Exaggerated? Dad, you don't know the half of it. But thank you so much for being logical about this because I really don't need any more crap in my life right now.

"Will you guys just let me talk?" I sigh, tossing my bag on the floor. "I'll explain everything to you."

And that's exactly what I do. Without saying a word, they walk with me into the kitchen and we sit down at the dinner table, letting me take the floor. From the lack of sleep, anxiety of relating such a secret to them for fear of what they or anyone else might think, especially dating Cartman for a grand total of a week (to which they were incredibly shocked, surprised, and slightly appalled); I tell them everything. I relate most of the major events that have happened to me this past week to them without any interruptions; they simply sit there and listen to me, keeping their thoughts to themselves until I'm finished.

And yes, I tell them that I'm sadly in love with a Nazi.

...To which my mother completely flips.

"Kyle, you're supposed to find a nice Jewish girl to marry, not a Christian boy!"

"Mom, I'm not saying that I'm going to marry him! I hate the fact that I..." I pause, choosing to watch my word choice, "...like him!"

Yeah, I know I'm expected not to marry out of my religion. I also know I'm expected not to be gay. But that just the way it is, and I can't really help it.

I've tried so hard to get away from him...

…but I can't.

"Oh my goodness, I can't believe this!" she cries, "It must be something they're teaching in the school! Oh Gerald, I've got to do something about this!"

Oh no. Not good. She's getting into that whole 'I must protect my bubbe from the evils of the world, so I have to change the world itself' mode. Didn't she learn from when she tried to have Terrance and Phillip executed?

"Mom, the school didn't do this either!" I shout, pounding my fist on the table, "Nothing did this! This is just me! This is how I am! Don't blame everyone else for my mistake." I give her a pleading look. "Deal with me. _I'm_ the one to fix; not the school; not the town; _me_."

She doesn't listen. All she does is continue her tirade that I don't even try to listen to. It's all the same stuff anyway. She never learned her lesson, and she's not going to anytime soon. I just hope she doesn't do anything too drastic. I don't need anymore drama.

Please let her go easy on this issue this time. Please.

* * *

After getting off the hook for now (or at least in my opinion), I trot up to my room an get to work on what I've been planning to do all along. Ever since Stan picked up my notebook and I realized that I was indeed mine, I've been itching to crack it open and hopefully find some answers.

I flop down on my bed and quickly grab it out of my bag, flipping carelessly through the pages. It's just so I can get a quick glimpse and see if anything's been added to it since I lost it to Eric. That should be easy to see since I didn't write much in it. It was an empty notebook before I scribbled my secret in it that night.

Oh yeah. I immediately notice something that I know I didn't write. It's towards the back and pretty long; nowhere near where I wrote. I had written more towards the front.

Not to mention there are several pictures of Eric in here. Last time I checked, I wasn't a stalker. I never kept his pictures, either.

Okay. Maybe I'm wrong about the stalker thing. But it's kinda suspicious... Who in the hell keeps pictures of someone stuffed in a notebook if they're not obsessed with them?! Dating doesn't count. I could understand that.

But no one's dating Cartman, and the only one who was happened to be me. I didn't ever have the notebook or the pictures to do this, so this was obviously the work of someone else.

That someone else being Butters.

How am I so sure of myself, you ask? It's all in the handwriting, my friend. I know his writing quite well; I've graded enough of his papers in the classes I have with him. It's pretty easy to pick out. Not to mention he's probably the only person ever who would write down almost every single thing Cartman's either thinking or doing and relate it to me...

Why? I'm sure you can guess. It's exactly what I figured before.

He's in love with Eric. He was afraid to lose him to me and probably still is. And so he marked Eric's every move, wrote down every feeling and problem he was having, and made it a point to shove me out of Eric's life. Make me so angry at him that I would give up on him as a potential boyfriend, and in turn make him hate me more than before, so he could forget those fleeting feelings for me. It was a domino effect that ruined any chances of a relationship between us. A real relationship. And it was the perfect crime because no one would suspect Butters to do something like this.

Well, I finally did. And if Cartman did, too...

I sigh. I don't even know what to think about him now.

The proof is right here. He had nothing to do with putting up those posters. I'm only completely and totally certain because Butters made the point in here, "Do NOT tell Eric. Doing so will ruin the plan."

Fuck.

Well, I guess Butters would have noticed that I have a crush on Eric at some point or another. It probably would have just taken him longer to see it. Maybe it was fate that all of this stuff happened.

…

Damn, fate is fucking cruel.

So... I've got a love triangle here. That's just what I needed to know to brighten up my day.

Jesus Christ...

Well, since I know that Butters was the one behind this mess, I guess the only question now is:

Does Eric actually love him back?

I hate to think that. But I hate to think that I love Eric, considering what he did to me.

Of course, I guess I was asking for that. He had nothing to do with faking that 'Style' club and I blamed him for it anyway.

Hmm... well, it's finally coming together at least. Slowly, but at least it's coming together.

So... let's recap this for a second. We've got Butters who is obviously jealous that I'm in love with Cartman. Apparently he devised a little plan to get me and Cartman to fight (broken up or not), so that he could make his move and get Cartman to himself. I'm guessing that Cartman didn't decide to call Butters up and date him; it was probably the other way around.

I'm guessing it went like this:

Butters figured that since Cartman and I had dated and had broken up (I'm sure he found out someway or another), he could convince Cartman to get on my nerves (one of his favorite things to do; I don't care who you are and what you think, it's true) by saying they could 'pretend to date.' Cartman would get the satisfaction of pissing me off as revenge for me accusing him of something he didn't do, and Butters would get the satisfaction of calling Eric his own. Even if it's not real, it's better than nothing I would guess.

God knows I'd do anything to have him to myself aga-

Wait, what am I thinking?!!!

That reminds me... as much as I love that bastard, I need to give him a piece of my mind. He thinks it's funny to tell my parents a lie... Well, not a complete lie, but there was something in there that's not true at all. He's gotten me into an even bigger mess; something I'm sure he was hoping to do.

Digging my phone out of my bag, I flip it open and press the usual button. However, what I hear a few seconds later on the other end isn't a dial tone.

"We're sorry. The number you are trying to reach is no longer available."

I blink. What? Maybe I dialed the wrong- I pause to look at the phone's screen. No, that's definitely his number.

Why would his number suddenly be disconnected? Reclusive much? No, there's gotta be some other reason.

But whatever. I guess I'm just going to have to go straight to his house and tell him off there. If I don't do it now, I'll not only forget what exactly what I want to say to him, but I'll be too lazy.

I'm not but a block down my street when I see Butters running towards me, waving frantically.

Oh great.

The anger boils in me as I watch him run towards me. He looks panicked and sad. Serves him right. Maybe Cartman broke his heart like he broke mine.

"Kyle! Kyle, whu-wait up!"

My eyebrows furrowing in anger as he gets closer. When he reaches me, he pants to catch his breath and I'm considering just running from him. Ditching him here would make me sooooo happy. But, due to the unfortunate bit of kindness in my heart, I stay and let him explain himself.

"Kyle, wuh-I'm so s-sorry!" he cries, looking at me with innocent eyes. "I s-shouldn't have done what I did! Wu-It's just that I w-wanted Eric so bad, but wu-he had to like you a-and so I got... I got jealous and tried to split you apart-!"

I roll my eyes, feeling no sympathy for him. "Yeah, tell me something I don't know, Butters."

"ERIC'S GONE!!!" he yells at the top of his lungs, breaking down in tears.

Oh. Well, I guess that is what I asked for...

I gasp and shake my head, not believing what he just said. "What? What in the hell are you talking about, Butters?"

He cries harder, collapsing on the sidewalk in front of me. "Wu-He said that he w-was leaving to go find his m-mom, but I... I didn't believe him! I-I thought he was tr-tryin' to scare me! But now h-he's gone and he's not coming back!"

What?! He's gone? Find his mom?

...Oh no.

Trying to keep some calmness in me despite my shock, I kneel down beside Butters and try to comfort him enough to get a coherent explanation out of him. I still don't feel bad for him at all. I'm just... coaxing him into speaking.

When he finally calms down, he looks at me with sad eyes and speaks slowly. "Eric... t-told me the other day that he's tired of waiting. H-he can't bear to th-think what's already happened to his m-mom. He's getting scared... and he s-said he wuh-was gonna leave real soon if he didn't get a call from her." He sniffs a little, playing with the hem of his shirt. "And n-now he's g-gone."

Well, that must be why his number is disconnected.

"That reckless idiot..." I mutter, looking straight down the road in the direction of his house, "Does he even know where she might be; if she's even alive?!" I ask harshly, looking back at Butters. "He could get killed out there!"

Butter fidgets some more, glancing about nervously. "Wuh-I don't know, b-but he told me he's g... goin' to Denver. And h-he... told me that he d-didn't want you or anybody else tuh follow him."

My teeth clench, but I keep my thoughts to myself. Why is Butters the one who gets to know all of this?! Oh, that's right. He's Eric's boyfriend.

Bah.

But wait. Does that still mean...

"What happened to you and him then...?" I ask slowly, choosing to imply their relationship in my word choice rather than saying it right out. I try my best to keep the hopeful tone out of my voice, but I don't think I do so well with that.

He gasps softly and only becomes more nervous.

"T-that's one of t-the reasons I... wanted to talk to you, K-Kyle."

I don't say anything in response; I simply stand there and wait for him to continue.

"W-Eric and I... w-weren't really uh... dating." He says shakily, keeping his eyes on the ground. "It wuh... was mostly just f-for show... to m-make you mad." He pauses, taking a deep sigh, "Well, it... it was for him, at least..."

Bingo. I hit the nail right on the head there.

"What do you mean by that?" I ask, crossing my arms and narrowing my eyes. I pretty much already know the answer to this question, but beating the truth out of him... satisfies me more, I guess.

He shifts on his feet, placing his hands behind his back shyly. "T-to... to tell you the truth, Kyle...," he looks back up at me, "I was j-jealous. E-Eric was tellin' me that maybe he liked you, maybe not, and I thought it wasn't fair because he was suppos'd tuh hate you. I was always bein' the once actin' nice to him... hangin' out with him... was a guinea pig in a of a lot of his schemes an' tricks..." he looks back down at the ground, shifting again, "But he l-liked you m-more... I just... never understood that.

"When I saw you and him kissin' at Stan's party, I got real mad. He was talkin' about... takin' advantage of you in order to... to see if he wanted you or not. He was gonna experiment with you, toy with you. At first I was real angry because there was the chance that he would realize he's fallen for you. I made a big plan to split the two of you apart when you finally get together, but I stopped myself."

I take a second to blink in confusion. A big plan? He's talking about the posters, right?

He continues. "When Eric told me that he was going to meet you for a second chance at a relationship, he said he was real happy because he was going to see your vulnerable side again. I thought back to what he said about experimentin' with you and realized that if I let him gain your trust again, he would get the chance to hurt you." He plays with the hem of his shirt, looking once again at me with sweet eyes. "And I didn't want to see that happen."

Whoa. What? I thought... did I...

...Did I have this completely wrong?

I don't say anything for fear of interrupting him. I need to hear what he has to say before I start asking him questions.

"So I went on with my plan. It w-was just for a different cause; aside from the fact t-that I f-finally call him mine. I had figured that you would automatically think that Eric spread the rumor that you and Stan were together, and you would... t-tell him o-off. I needed a way for you to lose t-trust in Eric, and I figured then w-would be my only chance t-to do it... since you were gonna meet him that mornin' and give him another chance."

Well, he was right in that mindset. I did instantly think it was Cartman. Why wouldn't I? He's... him.

And Butters is one hell of a smart kid.

"I called Eric up later that afternoon and convinced him to 'go out' with me so that he could make you angry; make you jealous; get revenge. He was thinkin' about sayin' something to you to convince you that he wasn't behind anything because he really wanted that second chance with you, but I convinced him that it would just be easier to do that. Not only would I help you out, I would help myself out, too because I r-really wanted t-to date him. Even though it really... wasn't r-real. It was still s-something. I wasn't expectin' you to do what you did, but it was good because it made things between you even more s-strained. He got angry at you and he pretty much gave up on gettin' you back."

I make a short incoherent sound as if I'm about to speak, but I sigh and stop myself before any words come out of my mouth. This is a shock to say the least. But this still doesn't tell me anything about Eric and what he really feels. Though... I probably won't get the real, real answers unless I get under his skin and into his mind.

Right now, however... I'm just going to have to rely on Butters and his word.

"Then... does that mean he never loved me at all? Am I just waiting on a lost cause...?" I ask him quietly, looking at him with sad eyes. "Butters... should I just give up on him now?" I'm almost afraid to ask him, but I do anyway. There's no taking it back now.

To my relief, he shakes his head. "Nuh uh." he says confidently, "Don't. I know that he likes you in a special way. Kenny knows it, too. Heck, w-everybody pretty much knows it except him himself."

Wow. How ironic. But I guess it's to be expected. He's so in love with himself that he doesn't realize that he loves someone else.

"I dunno, Butters." I say warily, "He hasn't really proved that to me yet. How do I know-"

He stops me by placing a firm hand on my shoulder and looking me straight in the eye. "He does care deep down inside, Kyle. He's told me himself."

My eyebrows furrow in anger, and I can't help but shout, "Then why can't he let those feelings surface for once? It would sure save me a lot of trouble!"

"He's ashamed. Scared." a voice that's not Butters' says from behind me, "You should know as well as anyone... when he doesn't understand something, he freaks."

"...Kenny?"

As I turn around, I find that it is indeed him, smiling in his usual knowledgeable way.

"That's my name, don't wear it out." he says casually, walking over to me and Butters. "I understand the idiot left."

I simply nod, feeling a little empty. It's just now hitting me that he's actually gone.

He chuckles, pulling something out from his old orange parka and holding it so that I can't see what it is. "Hn, what an idiot. Doesn't he know running isn't the answer to anything?"

"B-but Kenny," Butters pipes up, "He left t-to go find his mom. He's not running f-from anything."

Kenny laughs a hearty laugh and shakes his head, closing his eyes. "Ah. Right. Of course he is." he rolls his eyes when Butters and I show no sign of response. "That's just a convenient excuse. Sure, he's looking for her, but that's not his main goal. Even he knows that he's not likely to find her. He mainly left because he's sick of this town; sick of his life here;" he pauses, looking at me intensely, "Sick of fighting a battle he knows he can't win. He left because he's a coward."

Battle? What is Kenny talking about?

"What battle?" I ask curiously, peeking at the thing hidden in Kenny's hands. I still can't tell what it is.

"His feelings for you, of course. I told you, he's in denial. Ashamed. He doesn't think it's right to love you just because of who you are. You're the Jew he's been fighting for years. He shouldn't love you and you shouldn't love him." he smirks, "But the thing is you do. You're both caught in the gravitation of love. It's fate, Kyle. And neither of you can escape it."

Fate? How does he know-

"Kenny... have you known this all along?" I question in shock, my eyes wide in realization.

He shrugs, laughing again. "Yeah. I have, Kyle. All those times I died... gave me just a little bit more foresight of the future. I know a lot more than kids our age. Knowledge of the world, the future... love itself. I know lots of things. My deaths and comebacks weren't in vain, that's for sure."

My eyebrows furrow again and I blink slowly. "You know all along..." I say quietly, trying to get a grasp of the thought. I almost can't. But then again, this is Kenny and this is South Park, and nothing's ever normal.

But me and Cartman... fated to love each other? Really?

"Are you sure we're locked in fate? Is that really true?"

He nods in response to my question, moving his hands to reveal what he's been holding for the past few minutes. It's an envelope. "Yup. Set in stone my friend. But that doesn't mean getting to him, both physically and emotionally, is going to be easy. You're still gonna have to work to win his heart. But I promise you, Kyle..." he stuffs his hands into his pockets as I take the letter, "I've seen the ending. And I promise you, it's a happy one."

For a moment I'm speechless as I let that sink in, but I'm quick to give a nice smile. "Really now? You're telling the truth?"

Not that I don't trust Kenny. I just need to hear it from his mouth one more time. With all that's been going on this past week, I really need a pick-me-up like this one.

"I'm truthful, one hundred percent. Cross my heart and hope to die." he smirks, crossing his finger over his chest.

I laugh, feeling nothing but relief wash over me. "I'll take your word for it." I look down at the envelope in my hands and give him a questioning look. "What's this?"

He smiles and that instantly tells me that he knows the answer even though it hasn't even been opened. "An letter. What's in it is for me to know and you to find out. I'll tell you this much, though. It's not from me; it's from Cartman. Picked it up from his house when I passed by. It's addressed to you, but he probably figured you would never pick it up since you're probably still pissed at him."

Oh yeah. He's got that right.

"Anyway," he shrugs, pulling out a cigarette and a lighter, "I figured I could just give it to you. Push things along a little bit, you know?"

I nod my head in agreement, looking at it curiously. Well, no one's stopping me. I might as well open it up and see what's inside.

I tear it open and open the flap, seeing a letter and a key inside.

A key? For what?

Figuring the letter will probably answer those questions, I pull the slip of paper out and unfold it. The page is littered with his scribbly, but somewhat legible writing. It reads:

_Kyle,_

_If you're reading this letter, I'm long gone. Don't bother trying to find me or anything stupid like that (not that you're going to listen to me) because I don't even know where I'm going. All I know is that my mom hasn't been home in months, and I'm getting sick and tired of waiting for her to drag her ass home. I've gone out to find her and hopefully a new life away from this crappy town. I don't know if I'll even come back. _

_Like I said, don't even try to come after me. If you do, I'll beat your ass. I don't need you and your stupid speeches about how I could hurt myself and that what I'm doing is completely stupid._

_You don't need to go out of your way for me like that. Don't. I'm perfectly fine on my own._

_...And you don't need to go risking your life like that. You actually have a decent future. You don't need to fuck it up just for me._

_I don't want you to._

_I can't possibly mean that much to you, right? Right._

_And I'm sorry for making your life hell. Just this past week and all your life. _

_I left you the key to my house just in case your bitch of a mom kicks you out because of what I told her. I probably won't be back anytime soon, so I won't be needing it. So if you need a place to stay other than Stan's (stupid hippie), my place is free to you._

_Just don't trash it out too much, okay? Because I may come back. _May_. Don't get your hopes up just because I said that, though. I know you're gonna miss me. I know how much you love me. And to tell you the truth..._

_I'll miss you, too. You mean something to me, too._

_Stay safe, and _don't _follow me._

_Eric_

_(Don't tell anyone that I said that._ Anyone_. If you do, I'll make you pay for it.)_

I stare at the letter for a few more seconds before I chuckle slightly and fold it back up, stuffing it in the envelope with the key.

That moron. He thinks I'm actually going to go after him. He must be nuts. Like I'm going to go out of my way to find him and risk everything I have. Sorry, but I'm going to take his advice and stay here. As much as I'd like to find him and tell him how I feel... What I wouldn't give to start over with him.

But it's just too dangerous. He probably meant that he may come back in the sense that he might just stay wherever he ends up and live his life out there, but it could very well be that he ends up injured. Or worse...

Ah, I don't even want to think about that. As many times as I've thought I'd be better off with him gone, I would never wish him to be dead. That's just terrible.

"Don't worry, Kyle." Kenny comes up to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "He's gonna be just fine. I know it."

I nod, placing the letter in my coat pocket. "I know, Ken. I believe you." I stop and give him a pleading look. "Any chance of you telling me when he's gonna get back? Is he going to come back at all?"

Kenny laughs and pats my back, taking a drag from his smoke. "Well, I can't tell you everything. That would spoil the fun." I pout and he chuckles, "Okay, okay. I'll say this much. Yes, he coming back, and sooner than you think."

I smile. "Thanks, dude. That's all I need to know."

"No problem." He says, slowly strolling down the sidewalk. "Anything to help out a friend. He'll come back without a scratch on him, I promise."

Butters and I stand there and watch him walk away, and I silently thank the god above that I'm fortunate to have a friend as bad ass and great as Kenny.

* * *

So there you go.

It's been three weeks since that happened. And in the time since then I've thought about a lot of things.

What an idiot he is for leaving and thinking he's actually going to find her; if he really is going to come back and if he really does care. After all, what he did before he left... telling my parents... even though he said that he was sorry... should I believe it?

Once again, he's occupying my every thought and it's making my head spin. I should just push him out of my mind until he gets back and deal with things then, huh?

Maybe I can get a nice spa treatment or something in the meantime. Yeah. That sounds nice.

...So what if that's a girly thing to do? It sounds relaxing. And goodness knows I need that.

28201...

Here it is.

I haven't been to his house since I got the letter from Kenny. But since things are getting a little crazy at home right now (I'll tell you about that a little bit later), I figure that I can at least see if it has potential for a getaway.

Even though the food's probably bad by now.

I stick the key in the lock and turn it, opening the door to a dark living room. Everything looks pretty much the same. Nothing's been taken out. It's just a dark, empty house. I step inside and even though it's cold, dark, and lifeless...

...I feel right at home.

* * *

Yeah. I'm not going to say a whole lot down here; I've got a class in the morning and I should be sleeping right now. I'm just going to say that if you have any questions, ask them in a review or something and I'll try my best to get back to you on it. I'm really busy, though, so don't automatically expect an instant answer.

And I'm really asking for your feedback on this one. It really encourages me to bust my ass more to get more of the story out. I would really appreciate it. What you like, what you don't like, what you think; everything helps me out.

Love you guys~!

-Soul


	14. Over the Edge

O_o My god. Heeeey guys. Okay, I know I haven't updated in, like..., almost three weeks. I am so sorry if I made it seem like I left you guys hanging. Seriously, this chapter was so hard to get out. It's like I was hacking up a hairball.

Okay, so I'm not a cat, but you get the idea, right? Point is, this chapter was giving me some serious trouble most of the time. That's why it took so long to get out. But it's over now, and I actually have the rest of the story roughly planned out! I'm going to say that there's going to about 22 chapters for this whole thing. So yeah. You have that much more to look forward to! =D And until then...

Enjoy!

(I hope you guys like it because I'm not that thrilled with it. :/)

* * *

I haven't been home in over a week. Ever since I stepped foot into Eric's house I haven't been able to bring myself to leave. I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe because it's just so... inviting. Even though I'm all alone in it, it's much better than what my house is now.

My phone has been ringing non stop since then, too. Mom, of course. She must not only be worried sick, but pretty pissed, too. Actually, I know. I've listened to the multiple voicemails she's left me. After about twenty straight calls in a row I just switched my phone to vibrate, only checking occasionally to see if anyone besides her has called me. No such luck there.

Eric was right. I do need an extra place to stay aside from Stan's house. Not that I'm totally against staying there; Stan's my best friend, but I don't really need the extra drama that would come along with me staying at his house. He would probably cause a big uproar about what Cartman did and how I'm faring by not being able to even go home to my own house everyday, and I'd rather have the peace and quiet that comes with Eric's empty house than that.

The relationship between me and my parents since the incident, you ask? Well... it's not bad or anything. I pretty much kicked myself out of my own house. We're still on pretty good terms. At least, my dad and I are. My mom I'm not so sure of. She kinda has this whole mindset of making the world perfect for her little 'bubbe,' and of course I already told you about the voicemails. I guess the best way to put it is that she feels that it isn't my fault, and is more concerned about fixing the problem that isn't there. She hasn't really paid much attention to me besides trying to call me and get me to come home, so I'm still on okay ground with her.

Yeah, it's all more complicated than you think. Having a hard-headed mother isn't always the best thing.

Actually, I can't really think of a time when it was a good thing. Oh well.

Anyway, it's been a month or so since Eric just up and left. I'm getting really impatient now and am really, really tempted to go out and look for him myself. But the thing is, where do I start? Butters claimed he was going to Denver, but that could be completely wrong. Eric may have just told him that to throw all of us off track so that we couldn't find him.

And if it's true that he went off to Denver, who's to say that he hasn't already gone somewhere else? If he's really out there looking for his mom, he could be anywhere trying to find her.

So that's really a lost cause. Like he said, I need to just stay put and wait for him to come back. If I go out there, I could get hurt, and I don't want to risk that happening if he does indeed return. Besides, if I just stay here I'll have a better chance of seeing him again as opposed to me going out and blindly searching for him.

I just want him to be back now. I feel like it's been too long already. I'm starting to get worried.

Really worried.

Kenny said that he would be back soon. I would have figured that by that he meant at least a week, two at the most.

It's almost been four and a half.

But maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. I mean, who's to say how long 'soon' really is?

…

...Surely shorter than four freaking weeks!

God... I just want him back... I want to know that he's safe and okay...

Call me impatient or whatever you want. I don't care. I'm exhausted, I'm stubborn, and I want my way.

I mean... I at least deserve it, right?

Maybe I need to find something to do to pass the time. School keeps me occupied during the week, but weekends are a different story. I can't just sit around and worry about Eric getting home. It's already driving me up the wall, and if I keep it up surely I'll go insane. So if I find something to keep myself busy with, I'll be okay until he gets back, right?

I sure hope so.

Right now I'm on his couch in the living room. I haven't really been anywhere else in the house yet except for the bathroom of course. Ike helped to sneak out some of my things from home so that I wouldn't have to come and get them. I'm really glad he was willing to do that because I was so not looking forward to having to explain to my mom exactly why I was 'moving out.' There are some things that you just don't mess with, and my mom is one of them especially when she's in one of her stubborn moods.

So like I said, I couldn't thank Ike enough for doing that. Of course, he being 'cool' and all (I love how he thinks he is; sometimes he's as big a dweeb as I am), shrugged it off and said it was nothing at all. I couldn't exactly argue with him there. All he had to do was stuff it in his bag, bring it to school, and give it to me there.

He's really funny, though, because as cool and tough as he tries to act and be, it's still way obvious that he's the caring little brother I know deep down. After giving me the essentials from my house (mainly clothes and hygienic things), he offered to sneak me food from the refrigerator. As nice of a gesture as it was, I refused it saying that I didn't need it. There was enough food here at Eric's to hold me through until he got back, and I would be just fine.

Now I'm beginning to think I should take his offer. Again, it's been over a month since he left and since the food's been restocked. He left a lot for me to eat from, but most of the food is about to spoil and I don't exactly have the money to keep buying more especially if he's going to be gone much longer.

I'll have to get with Ike tomorrow and talk to him about that. Only thing is, I'm not looking forward to him smirking at me and saying, "I told you so."

But whatever. I'll swallow my pride and admit my mistake if it means I'll get what I need to survive.

Besides, it's better than living at my house.

Yeah. Never thought I would be saying that.

Well... okay. Maybe that's not entirely true. Living under a woman who has the uncanny ability to rule with an iron fist isn't the easiest thing to do. Add seventeen years to that while you're at it.

..But really. My mom's not a bad person. It's just... she can make things suffocating at times. For example: school.

Yeah. You've got half of the idea. She does push grades and all of that good (or not so good; she pushes it HARD) stuff, but there's something that you're forgetting.

She's president of the PTA.

Aha, yeah. Exactly. That's what I'm worried about. I'm not sure if you know this, but when I was in third grade, she really to the 'protecting her baby' to a whole 'nother level. Basically, there was a Canadian film that we saw that had all kinds of profanity in it and it was so cool that we started mimicking it; she blamed it on Canada for bringing an influence like that into our country and corrupting our 'fragile little minds' (as Eric put it), and so she took matters into her own hands and ended up causing a war.

Yeah. That's why I'm scared of what she's going to do to oust the 'influence' that caused my sexual orientation.

Ugh. I told her before that I just want her to be my mom; blame me for my mistakes; but she never listens. She acts like she does, but in the end I really think that she just can't help but go out there and try to change the world.

Although, I don't think that she'll go _that_ far this time. She really only thinks that the community has something to do with this. I don't know how she sees that, but sometimes her logic is really skewed. Anyway, I'm still a little wary of what she's going to do.

I just... I have this bad feeling that it's only going to end up backfiring somehow, and someone's going to end up getting hurt.

Of course, what am I saying? I live in South Park. Going a day without getting hurt is more unusual than anything.

Still... I'm going to have to be careful. If she goes out and does something drastic, more than likely I'll be blamed for it. And who knows what'll happen after that.

Hopefully she won't go too far with this.

I look over at the clock on the wall. Three thirty. And today's... Sunday. The twentieth. Of January. Can't believe that the school year's already halfway over. Of course, the past two months kind of helped to push it along, I guess.

Still... only a few more months... Not only will I be eighteen soon, but I'll be a senior. I'll have to start thinking about college and the rest of my life pretty soon.

Man... how am I even going to do that if I screw up my relationship with my mom? Maybe I should just go back home and try to straighten things out. I know she's probably a combination of freaked and pissed that I haven't been home in over a week.

I sigh. You know what? I don't even want to think about that right now. I just want to set it aside and relax. It's Sunday, a day that I always used for laying back and doing practically nothing before I had to go to school the next day. I know that makes me sound like a lazy bastard, but you should know I always did my homework on Saturday. I still do. What little homework I get...

So yeah. I'm still the teacher's pet and the typical, perfect student that everyone... hates.

...Okay. No one really hates me, per se... but you get the picture.

Anyway, relaxing. I need something that'll get my mind off of things. Like I said, I haven't really been anywhere elsein the house. I've been sleeping on the couch because I haven't dared to go in his room yet. It's not that I'm scared of what I might find, it's just that...

...Well, it reminds me that he's actually gone.

But now curiosity's gotten the best of me and I can't stand to not take a look. I know the old saying, but I don't care right now. Sometimes it's better to let curiosity take over. If nobody was curious, we wouldn't have the things and know the things we do now, right?

I slowly make my way up the stairs and stop outside his bedroom door. It's slightly open, and I can tell just from the slight crack that he managed to leave the room a mess. I suppose I can't blame him, though. Not only is he an extremely messy person, but I wouldn't have worried about leaving my room nice and tidy if I had to leave in a rush.

And that's saying a lot because I'm a neat person.

Pushing the door in all the way, I sigh at the sight. Yep, it's definitely a wreck.

I guess I could do him a favor and clean up the place for him. Not that I'd get anything in return.

But what can I really expect from him? And who's to say he'll really come back...?

I shake my head, pushing those thoughts out of my mind. No, I can't start thinking that. Kenny said that he'd come back. We just... don't know when.

I quickly take my mind off of this as I start tidying up his room, musing that this is probably something he was expecting me to do in the first place. I roll my eyes. That would be just like him. Have the Jew do his chores for him. Even though he probably doesn't even have 'chores' to do. I know his mom and how lenient she is. He's probably never lifted a finger to take out the trash, let alone do something as simple as cleaning up his room. Unlike most of us, he's probably never done anything of the sort in his life.

...Spoiled brat.

Still... I love him. Spoiled brat or not. If anything, I'm doing it out of that.

Love.

He's left a few shirts out on his bed, probably in his haste to leave. I pick them up and look at them. They look perfectly clean. They must be clothes that he decided not to take and threw out in place of others. I can't imagine why he did. They're nice shirts. Collared... he always did look pretty hot in collared shirts. I'll bet anything they even smell nice.

As I hold one of the shirts close to my face, I can smell the faint aroma of his cologne on it. I was right. They smell nice.

No...

They smell _wonderful_.

I had forgotten just how nice he smelled. The few times he got in my face nearly had me fainting.

His cologne must be really expensive if it smells _that_ nice. I wonder what he uses...?

I shake my head furiously, my face heating up as I'm thinking this. Dammit, that's only going to remind me even more that he's gone! I don't want that!

Of course... I _am_ staying at his house. How can I not think about him? Especially being in his room and rummaging through his stuff. That's certainly not going to get me to stop thinking about him.

Oh well. I started cleaning up his room, so I might as well finish it. The place still looks like it was hit by a hurricane.

After neatly hanging the shirts back up in his closet, I start on the rest of his room. As I'm cleaning up his desk, which is littered with papers, I manage to find a video camera underneath the mess. Immediately I remember the night that basically started all this madness. I chuckle, thinking back and remembering what he said about me using 'Jew magic' on him to make him feel the way he did.

What an idiot.

Sad thing is, he probably still believes that.

Nah. I'm just kidding. Still, he is pretty childish and foolish sometimes. Just him leaving on his own says it all.

Hm. I can only imagine what's on this thing. In fact, I really don't want to know. For all I know, he could have managed to videotape me in the shower or something.

I shudder. Creepy.

Before I can get much farther in the cleaning, I hear a knock at the front door. My stomach immediately plummets as I think that my mom's finally found me, and is coming to drag me back home. I really hope not. If it is, I'm not sure if I'll be lucky enough to see the light of day ever again.

I trot silently over to the window and push the curtains aside carefully, trying not to draw the eye of whoever's down there. Thank goodness that the window is on the side of the house where you can actually see the front door. The fact that it's on the second story is a plus.

I'm relieved to find that it's only Butters, standing outside in the cold and shaking like a leaf. Not wanting to leave the poor guy outside to freeze, I race downstairs and open the door, greeting him with a small smile.

"Hey, Butters," I say, "What's up?"

As soon as I open the door, he smiles happily and trots inside, obviously happy to get inside the warm house and chase away the chill he got from standing outside.

"Wuh-hey, Kyle!" he chirps cheerily as I close the door, "I, uh... wuh-I came to see how you're doin'!"

He suddenly looks around nervously, like he has something else to say but doesn't want to say it. I'm quickly convinced that he didn't just come over to see how I'm faring. Still, I won't force the truth out of him... yet.

"Kay." I cross my arms, giving him a skeptic look, "I'm doing just fine, Butters."

He still looks around nervously, carrying out his old habit of playing with the hem of his shirt. "Wuh, h-how's life been?" he stutters more than usual, looking at me tentatively.

"Good." I reply simply, choosing to walk over and sit down on the couch, propping my feet up on the table.

He nods, looking uncomfortable and out of place. However, this doesn't stop him from asking me another empty question. "School's not givin' you too much trouble is it-"

"Dammit, Butters, what do you really want?!" I shout, standing up quickly. He jumps and whimpers slightly, causing me to sit down, sigh, and address him again in a calmer tone. "I'm getting the feeling that you want to tell me something else." He nods. "Okay. What?"

"W-well you see... I was thinkin' that... since Eric left and all, I c-could tell you a secret he's been meanin' to keep from you." he says shyly, looking down at the ground, "B-but I don't know i-if I... s-should now. I mean... what if Eric finds out I told you?!" he cries in a slight panic, "H-He might try t-to kill me!"

Wow. Is he serious? Eric wouldn't do tha-

Wait. What am I saying? Maybe he would. Not only is apparently bent on keeping secrets, he also probably wouldn't hesitate to kill Butters if he had a reason to do so. Though, it is Cartman. He does things regardless of whether he has a reason to or not.

I sigh, running a hand through my hair. "He won't kill you, Butters. Not as long as I'm around to stop him. Now what is it?"

Unfortunately, this only seems to make him more nervous, and he gives no answer. Figuring that I'm not going to get any kind of answer, I head back upstairs, calling down to Butters from the top. "If you change your mind and decide to tell me, I'll be up in Eric's room cleaning."

Much to my surprise, this sparks a response from him. "O-oh, wait up! I'll help you!"

Well, it's not the response I was looking for, but I don't dare turn him down. I could really use the extra help cleaning up this slob's room. Even though I have nothing else really to do today, I definitely don't want to spend it all cleaning Eric's pigsty. Besides, it's more fun to clean when you have someone to keep you company.

He trots upstairs after me, and we soon begin working on cleaning up the rest of Eric's room.

As I'm cleaning up the bookcase and putting books away (all of which have some relation to either Hitler, the Holocaust, or Mel Gibson; go figure), Butters pipes up, breaking the silence between us.

"O-oh. Well I w-wonder what this is."

I turn around and see that he's holding a picture album in his lap as he sits on the floor. He thumbs through the pages, looking at each picture carefully. "Wuh-I didn't know that Eric w-wa...was into photography."

Blinking, I walk over to where he's sitting, looking at the pictures over his shoulder. "Yeah..." I say slowly, recognizing some of the images that flip by, "I remember him showing me, Stan, and Kenny some of these pictures when we were back in fourth grade. In fact, he even took some pictures-"

As soon as I gasp in realization of what I was about to say, Butters flips to the very page I was about to mention.

The collage of pictures that Cartman had taken all those years ago; pictures that he had taken while Butters was asleep and unaware that he was being pranked.

A dark look crosses Butters features, and I won't deny admitting I'm a little bit scared. After all, Butters never gets_ this _mad.

"That jerk..." he mutters, slamming the album shut. I blink in response, the force of the shut blowing a burst of air onto my face.

"Well... what do you expect?" I say, trying to calm Butters down before he does something really drastic. "It's Cartman. He does, or at least did, that kind of stuff all the time. Don't feel bad."

Butters doesn't say a word, that dark, angry look still on his face. I decide to try my reassuring approach again.

"Hey, you know that picture of him with your junk in his mouth actually makes him look gay, right?" I chuckle, hoping that I'm getting somewhere with him.

What he says next surprises me. "I don't care what that s-son of a bitch thinks." he growls, something that doesn't fit him at_ all,_ "I'm tellin' you that secret."

I simply blink, at a loss of what to say in return. "...Okay."

He gets about two words into it, managing only to take a deep breath and say 'Here goes,' before I hear yet another knock at the door. Immediately he stops, looking at me in confusion. I shrug because I have no clue as to who it could be either. I wasn't expecting so many visitors today.

That was half sarcasm, half not. Just in case you were wondering.

Holding a hand up to keep him from speaking again, I get up and make my way to the door. "Excuse me." I say in a joking tone, "Let me go get that."

I leave him in there to trot downstairs to open the front door, eager to see who else wants to visit me this fine Sunday afternoon. Maybe it's-

...No. Don't get your hopes up, Kyle.

I open the door and am greeted by the sight of Stan. A look of disbelief and maybe shock is evident on his face, and I begin to wonder just what he came over for. By that look, I get the feeling that's it's not exactly something good.

"Um... hey, Kyle." He greets me in an uneasy tone, his hands stuffed in his pockets like usual. He takes one out to point behind him, looking back as well. "I think you might want to come out and see what's going. Your mom is... kind of going over the edge again."

I blink, and as soon as he mentions my mother, my stomach drops. If he has that kind of look on his face and is talking about my mom in the same sentence, then it definitely can't be good.

With a look that probably matches the level of shock he has on his, I slowly nod and step outside, expecting the worst yet hoping for the best. "Okay."

Maybe he's just overreacting? I hope so.

I barely notice that Butters has since trotted down the stairs after me. The three of us walk out of Eric's house and all the way down the street towards mine. Before we reach it, I can already hear her voice, projected by what is probably a megaphone.

Yeah, that's clue number one that this is bad. That must mean she's talking to a good number of people.

I can't exactly pick out her voice well enough to figure out what issue she's addressing, though. Stan hasn't said a single word since we left, so I haven't received any inside info yet. But that's okay. I'll find out soon enough I guess.

A crowd of people stands between me and my house. Great. Clue number two that this is not going to turn out well. If there's a group of people gathered around my house, all of which my mom is talking to, that's a big indicator that she's planning to put something big into effect.

Same thing happened all those years ago when she managed to start a war between America and Canada.

Damn.

I hate to admit it, but my mom and Cartman are alike in many ways. They have the power to manipulate and can manage to get a whole mob of people behind them, planning to take over things and push anyone aside if they get in their way.

Only difference is, my mom is trying to do things for the good of the community and, sometimes, the world. She isn't usually aware that what she's doing is only going to cause more problems for the ones she loves. Cartman, on the other hand, is very aware that he's going to hurt other in the process. In fact, that's the main reason he does many of the things he does. He wants to hurt others, get his way. Reign supreme.

Although... I can't really call him out on that now. That's really something he used to do. Now... well, he's still insane, but in a different way.

But I can't worry about him right now. My concern isn't him, it's my mom.

"...and that is why we must put these monitors on our children! The problem will never solve itself unless we address it headfirst!" she bellows through a megaphone, standing on a podium placed right in front of the house, "Our children must be watched and tracked every hour of the day to keep record of their activities so that we can cleanse them in the most proper and effective way possible!" she pounds a fist down, "We must put a stop to-"

She pauses in her speech as her eyes dart to the back of the crowd. More specifically where I'm standing. If you think that she's spotted me standing back here...

...then you are absolutely right, my friend.

Her expression immediately brightens as she sees me. "Oh bubbe!" she calls through the megaphone, "There you are! Come here, come here!"

Nice. Not only has she managed to completely embarrass the hell out of me in front of the entire town (the parents at least; still, they're all staring at me and making me even more uncomfortable), she wants me actually stand up there like I'm supporting her cause.

Augh. What do I do? Do I go up there or not? What if she turns on me and grounds me for two years? No, I'm not kidding about that. I wouldn't surprised if she actually did do that. Or should I run for it and take the chance of pissing her off even more than she may be now?

I'll go with the first option. She can't possibly be that mad at me. If anything, her relief will overpower that and make her forget about grounding me at all. If I run, I'll only manage to make things worse. I'll only give her more reason to get angry with me. Besides, if you disobey my mom... well, I'll just say that things don't turn out well of you do.

I sigh and drop my head for a second. I glance back up, giving Stan a knowing look. He nods back apologetically, his expression telling me all I need to know.

'It'll be all right.' it says.

I nod back, turning to walk all the way up to my mom.

...Oh, that's really nice. Everyone decided to stand back and clear a straight path for me to walk up, so they can _all_ stare at me and make me even _more_ uncomfortable.

Goddammit.

Uh huh. Yeah, I was being sarcastic about that. You're catching on quick, aren't you?

Feeling like I'm in some movie right at the dramatic part where the hero walks up to face his death or something, I trudge my way up to her slowly, avoiding her eye as I get closer to her. I step up onto the podium grudgingly, yelping out as she grabs me in a swift hug. Tight, too.

"I shall initiate this plan starting with my own son, Kyle!"

Yeah, love you too, mom.

She takes out something that resembles a wristband, taking my right hand into hers and clamping it around my wrist. I blink in confusion and look at it like it's nothing big. It has a red blinking light on it, probably the indication that it's 'tracking' me, but I can't see why I can't just take it off. It's like one of those wristbands you get at a theme park; you can just cut it off with scissors...

...Wait. It's... It's not...

I tug at it, but it's not made out of the flexible plastic that the typical wristbands are made of. It's almost like it's made of... metal or something. But it's still pretty flexible... it's not digging into my wrist or anything. It's as uncomfortable as the regular bands are, but it's not like it's terrible. Just annoying.

I guess I'm not getting this thing off with scissors... Dammit. What if I just tried to unsnap the thing that holds it togethe-

_Bzzt!_

Ow! What the-?! It fucking shocked me! Are you kidding me?! Damn, she's fucking serious about this.

I try to tug harder on it and ignore the shock, but the longer I struggle to get it off, the more intense the shock gets. Jesus Christ!

"I trust that you have already attached these wristbands onto your sons!" What are we, guinea pigs?! Why can't she just face the fact that this is reality?! "Soon we will turn our children around and have them heading down the right path again! We will put a stop to this madness!" The crowd cheers and I'm absolutely stunned. She take a bow, speaking into the megaphone one last time, "Thank you!"

The crowd disperses, and in a few minutes it's just me, Stan, and Butters standing out in the snow. Just as I'm beginning to wonder how in the hell this is even going to work (how in the hell could the parents have been able to convince their kids that they should wear these), Stan and Butters walk up with their own wristbands showing, confirming the fact to me that this has indeed already gone into effect.

"What in the hell is she thinking?!" I cry, throwing my arms up in frustration.

Stan shrugs. "I dunno. Dude, your mom's a bitch."

I sigh, nodding my head slowly. "Yeah, I know."

"We should split up before she suspects something's going on with the three of us." he suggests.

I nod again, turning to head back to Eric's house. "You're right. I wouldn't be surprised if these things have cameras in them or something."

"They do."

We all jump, looking around to see Kenny standing just a few feet away from us.

What the-?! How in the heck did he get here without one of us noticing? I could have sworn I didn't see him before. Creepy... I'm almost convinced that he has some kind of power where he can show up at anywhere at anytime.

Psh. Supernatural friends.

"Let me guess," I chuckle with a smile, "You only know because you already know the future?"

He laughs and shakes his head. "No. I just looked at them. See? There's a camera lens by the red light."

I look down and inspect the thing again. Sure enough, he's right.

"Goddammit..." I huff, crossing my arms, "This is ridiculous."

They all nod in agreement. Not wanting to take any chances with her finding out that I'm still hanging around these guys, I turn to leave, waving goodbye.

"Well, we should split like Stan said. I don't want to know what my moms' going to do if she finds us together and thinks that we're doing the nasty-"

_Bzzt._

Ow, shit! It shocked me again! Huh. This must be similar to the v-chip that she had implanted into Cartman's head. It'll shock us each time we mention something related to us...

Oh geez. If this is what she's planning to do to 'fix' us...

...then we're in for a long rest of the school year.

* * *

Ow. My head hurts (any mistakes let me know; I'm exhausted). Yeah, so that's what I managed to bring you guys. It seems a little bland to me for most of the chapter, but that's just me. At least the big thing happens at the end, right? That's right, I'm leaving you with a cliffhanger of sorts... kinda. What will happen to Kyle next? You'll just have to wait and find out!

Don't worry, though. I don't plan on having you guys wait too long. Like I said, I basically know the rest of the story from here, so it won't take me as long to get the chapters out. I promise that there'll be a happy ending, just like Kenny promised Kyle there would be. There's... just going to be a lot of stuff going on inbetween. But that makes it fun, right? Right?

Anyway, I'll leave you guys with that for now. See you soon, and thank you for reading! I appreciate the support you've given me so far! =D

Love you guys!

-Soul


	15. Tension Rising

Happy mid-season premiere! =D Yes, I was so freaking stoked about it that I wanted to get the next chapter out. Just as a little present to you guys. Besides, I think you guys have waited long enough for another chapter. So yeahs~ Right now as I'm writing this, it's only about twenty minutes until the premiere, so I'm going to post this real quick, then get ready for the big moment! I hope you're as stoked as I am. A new episode after months of waiting~

Anyway, I pretty much busted my ass to get this out to you guys, so I really hope you enjoy it.

Enjoy~!

(And for those who know about the contest, good luck finding the hidden alien! =D)

* * *

"I think they were in here somewhere."

"Okay. But make sure you keep a lookout. And stay quiet. We don't know if she's watching us or not."

"Dude, would you just chill? I already covered all of our cameras. She won't know where we are."

"But she can still hear us! And if I get caught, I'll get in so much trouble with my parents! I shouldn't even be hanging with you two!"

"You shouldn't. But you are."

"Oh shut up!"

"Guys, will you stop! I'll make sure that we don't get found out. I'll even die to make sure this is kept secret."

"...But you die everyday anyway. That doesn't really even count."

"...That's not the point."

"Hey... will these work?"

"Maybe. Let's try."

Here we are, digging through the garage at Eric's house, looking for anything and everything that might have the power to cut these stupid monitors off.

So far, we've had no such luck.

"Dude, we should just give up..." Stan whines, slumping his shoulders in defeat. "It's no use. Let's just say your mom's insane and leave it at that."

I scowl, turning around to face him angrily. "Stan, don't tell me you're going to give up that easily?! Dude, we're basically being suppressed here, and you're content enough to just let it slide?!"

What is up with him? Normally he would be with me on this one! He is with pretty much everything else!

He shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair awkwardly. "Dude... it really makes no difference to me. I'm not gay, so it's not bothering me."

Well, that's true. But still...

"Stan, you're my best friend!" I say in a pleading tone, "Even if it has no real relevance to you, don't you at least want to help me out? I mean... you've helped me out on everything else so far!"

He shrugs and looks down at his feet, shuffling a little. "Well... yeah, but it's just... my folks will probably-"

"Who cares what they think!" I cut him off with a sharp bark, "There were times that you never cared before, right?! Besides, you're fighting for a greater cause here, and they have no right to interfere!"

"I'm not fighting for any cause here, Kyle!" he shouts back, "You are, but I'm not!"

I shut my mouth, letting this sink in. My eyebrows furrow in thought, and this time I'm the one looking down at my feet.

He's not...?

"Kyle, just because you're losing respect for your mom because of her doing this doesn't mean that Stan's losing respect for his." Kenny jumps in, taking the wire cutters that we just found and cutting his band straight off. He throws it to the ground and looks at me with intense eyes. "You've got to think outside of your own little world for a second and realize that you've got to respect the situations of others, not just yourself."

I blink and turn slowly back to address Stan, slightly raising my arm so that Kenny can snap my wristband off. "Then why are you here...?" I ask quietly, rubbing my wrist subconsciously.

Before Stan can reply, Kenny jumps right back in.

"He's second guessing himself." He says simply, snapping Stan's wristband off.

I stare into Stan's eyes, tilting my head curiously. "Is that true Stan?" Hell, with Kenny's perception, I wouldn't be surprised if he hit the nail right on the head there.

Much to my amazement (yeah, that's sarcasm again) he nods in affirmation. "Yeah. I came along because I was pissed at them for even having me wear that stupid thing in the first place. They should be aware that I'm not gay. I mean, I going out with Wendy for Christ's sake! It really got to me that they actually did that, but the longer we were in here, the more nervous I became about what they might do if they caught me with you guys and took it the wrong way."

"In other words, he just being a stupid hippie pussy." Kenny chuckles, leaning against the wall.

I burst out laughing with him while Stan just stands there and scowls at the both of us. I shrug, still chuckling, and sit down on a bench. "Dude, I'm sorry, but it's funny because it's true."

He frowns even more, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms in a slight huff. "Since when have I been a 'stupid, hippie pussy'?" Uh, when have you not been one? "And since when has Kenny taken up the role of Cartman?"

When he says that name, a sensation washes over my body that leaves my head feeling extremely dizzy and my face incredibly hot.

...It's been so long...

Kenny shrugs with a playful smirk. "Hey, someone's gotta do the job, I guess. Speaking of Cartman, has he come back yet, Kyle?"

I blink in confusion. Wait, shouldn't I be the one asking him that? He's the one who told me that he'd come back!

"No..." I say slowly, shaking my head at him, "Why are you asking me?"

He shrugs again, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it up. "I was just wondering."

"You wondering?" I say in disbelief, "You're the one who told me that he'd be back soon! By the way, just how long is soon to you, Mr. Know-It-All?" I smirk in a joking way.

He chuckles, blowing some smoke out and looking up at the ceiling. "Kyle, I'm practically immortal." Ugh, here we go again with this. "Soon can mean any length of time to me. Time plays no real role in my life now."

Of course. I should have expected that. Kyle, you are so ridiculous, what were you thinking when you asked that? Jesus Christ...

Yeah. I'm being sarcastic again. Bravo. You should major in that or something, you're that good at it.

"Then can you actually give me a number of days or weeks telling me when he'll return?" I sigh.

He shakes his head and shrugs once again in that cool, almost aloof way. "He'll be back soon."

"Arrrrgh!!!" I growl, clutching my hair in frustration. "Is that all you have?!"

Stan and Kenny both jump in response to my little outburst, their eyes going wide. Their faces are practically saying, 'Damn,_ someone's_ angry...' What, they don't think I have anger issues at times? They've known me for forever!

Kenny blinks, slowly bringing the cigarette up to his mouth again. "Yeah. It is. Don't worry, I'm not lying to you about him returning. I can definitely see that. That much is clear."

I scowl, looking off to the side bitterly. "And what? He's gonna be, like, thirty years old and married with kids?"

"No, Kyle." He sighs, the tone in his voice giving off a clue that he's probably rolling his eyes at me. "He still looks the same. I can tell you that, too."

"Dude, you should probably be more worried about what your mom's managed to do." Stan chimes in, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Every guy at school is probably going to be pissed at you for this."

I swallow, nodding my head sadly. "Yeah... you're probably right." I sigh, looking away at a pile of things in the garage. Why is it always that when a parent does something that affects the student body, the kid gets blamed for it? I mean..., this very thing has happened to me more times than I can count.

Though I suppose it's what I get for having a headstrong mom. Now that I think about it, Ike's probably going to get some of the same trouble I may get. Dammit...

Should I blame myself for this? It did all start with me... and even thought I tried so hard to keep it a secret...

"You better hope that anyone doesn't try to pick a fight with you." Kenny warns, giving me a knowing look, "Don't let your guard down."

Looking at him for a second, I immediately think of something. "Hey, you can see into the future. Can't you just tell me if I'm going to be in danger?"

Much to my disappointment, he shakes his head surely. "Nope." he says, taking another drag from his smoke, "I can only see certain things. You can say there's sort of a limit on my ability to see the future. I'm not allowed to see everything yet. Sorry, man."

I nod my head slowly, speaking in a low, quiet voice. "I see..."

Of course. That would be too convenient.

...I'm not trying to be pessimistic, I swear.

"Well, just be careful, dude." Stan says, walking over and placing a hand on my shoulder, "We don't want anyone pulling a knife on you or anything." he chuckles.

I chuckle along with him, rolling my eyes. Like that would ever happen. I don't think anyone's going to be _that _pissed. Still, I play along with his little joke.

"Yeah. That would be terrible all right."

* * *

Monday morning. Yet another day of school, and the first day since the new drama in my life started.

Let's see how this goes.

After quickly getting dressed -that's right, I'm wearing one of Eric's shirts today; why not?- I run down the stairs and grab the keys off the counter where I always lay them, slinging my bag over my shoulder.

Don't think for a second that I'm driving my car. Oh no. I didn't dare go back and get it after I left. Like I said before, there was no way and still no way (especially now) that I'm going back to my house. Not unless all of this gets straightened out.

...Haha, yeah straightened out. I get it. Because I'm gay and...

...Sheesh.

Anyway, back to what I was saying. Not driving my car anymore. Instead, I'm driving one of Eric's. Yeah, that's right. He was inconsiderate enough to go and flat out tell my mom that I'm gay, but is still nice enough to leave a note behind telling me I can use his car if I needed to.

Someone's a bit bipolar, don'tcha think? I certainly do.

But I'm not complaining at all. It was nice of him to do that. It's definitely better than having to walk or catch a ride with someone else. That would have been really awkward. I don't care who it would be, it would be just be awkward in any way. No joke.

Okay... think I've got everything. I throw on my coat and head outside, walking to the driveway and opening the door to the car. Tossing my bag in the passenger seat, I hop in the driver's side and start the car up.

Okay. If there's one thing I'm going to complain about...

…it's the fact that the heater takes so damn long to heat up.

It is freezing in here!

When it finally gets warm enough to start melting the ice off the dashboard (okay, I am exaggerating a little bit), it's pointless because I'm already at school. I scope out the parking lot for a second before I slowly get out of the car, hesitating a second before I reach over and grab my bag.

...So far, so good. Of course, I'm just in the parking lot.

Nobody's really here to get at me.

...Duh. Maybe I'm just being overly cautious. I mean, really? Who's gonna beat me up for this? Seriously?

I walk across the parking lot like I normally do, acting as if everything is normal and fine, reaching the steps without any problems at all.

I am overreacting, aren't I?

Well, that's what I'd like to think. When I walk inside the main building and see every single guy staring me down with a death glare on their face, I start to second guess my even coming to school.

...Of course they're pissed.

I can see the bleeping red lights in their wrists and give a shaky laugh. I probably shouldn't say this, but...

"Wire cutters?"

They all immediately scowl and, just like a group of robots, all turn at the same time to return to their lockers. Not a single word came from any of their mouths.

Well... that was cold. But I suppose it could have been a lot worse.

I walk quietly over to my locker, and before I even grab my first book, I feel a firm tap on my shoulder. Blinking, I turn to face none other than-

"Craig?" I ask, tilting my head slightly. "What's up?"

Huh, this guy hardly ever talks to me. I have a feeling it's because he's still bitter about that whole Peru thing.

He never liked us before that, and that just made things worse between the four of us and him.

So really, it's strange that he's walking up to me now and wants to talk.

...Or maybe not. He looks kinda mad.

...Is it just me or is this probably going to end up bad? I'm just getting that feeling...

"What in the hell did you do to get your mom to do this?" he asks in that stoic, nasally voice, scowling at me.

Yeah, he's probably mad.

"Dude, it's not like I did it on purpose." I scowl back, "I wasn't planning on telling her ever because I knew she would probably do something like that. You can thank Cartman for that."

However, he's not very moved by my counter because he crosses his arms and scowls even more. "It's more than just that."

I blink, raising an eyebrow in confusion. More than just what...?

"Talk to your mom and get this straightened out." he commands.

I scoff and turn my back against him, focusing on getting my things out. He thinks he can just order me around like that?! Just who does he think he is?!

"Dude, no. Just because this is pissing you off doesn't mean you can just order me around like that. If you're not going to bother asking me nicely, then I won't-"

In a cobra-like strike, he grabs my coat and slams me against the locker, leaning in close to my face with a dark look in his eyes.

"Get this fixed, or I'll make you wish you were never born. You got it?" he grounds out with a snarl.

I gulp, stunned at what he's just done. My head pounds slightly as a result from the force he threw me against the lockers. Damn, he's violent... He's almost as violent as-

"Answer me, Jew." he says in that annoying monotone, his grip tightening considerably.

Dammit, he's reminding me of-

I sigh, looking to the side. I nod my head. "Okay. Fine." He immediately releases me, satisfied even though it doesn't show on his face. "But I'm not just doing it because of you. Got it?"

He continues to glare at me with that creepy gaze, something I can't look away from not matter how hard I try. "Fine. Because if you don't, I'll take matters into my own hands and get rid of the problem myself. For good." For a second I think he's talking about my mom, but his next words prove me wrong and worry me even more. "That means you."

And with that he turns and walks quickly down the hall, storming off in a... well, I don't know if I can call it a rage; it's Craig... as he turns a corner.

Shit. He's pretty serious, isn't he?

Well, I guess I was wrong before.

Things _can_ get a lot worse.

* * *

"Are you serious, dude?"

I nod slowly in answer to Stan's question as we take our seats at our usual table in the cafeteria. Lunch couldn't have come soon enough for me. Today's been a real drag, and it's only halfway over.

"Yeah." I say, unpacking my lunch onto the table, "He literally grabbed me by the collar and slammed me against the lockers. And you won't believe this, but... he had the wildest look in his eye. Similar to Cartman's..."

Kenny takes a small sip from his water, closing his eyes with a small smirk on his face. "And did he do you right there in the hallway?"

I glare at him, barking out a fake laugh. "Haha, very funny, Kenny." He shrugs, taking a bite out of his sandwich. "Dude, this is fucking serious! I'm afraid he might really try and pull something on me. I think he's serious."

My thought is reassured when I catch his eye from across the cafeteria. He's sitting at the table behind us, Stan and Kenny's back facing him. They can't see the look he gives me. He gives me that 'I've got my eyes on you' gesture, following it up with a slitting the throat motion.

...Craig's definitely changed over the years.

What's that saying? Keep your friends close and your enemies closer?

Oh geez...

I gulp to myself as Kenny points a finger at me. "I warned you that you should be on your guard, dude. This doesn't surprise me in the least. Craig's hated us for how many years now?"

"Enough." I manage to say, my throat tight with fear. I wouldn't be surprised if this guy had a knife on him. And to think I joked about that yesterday...

Man. Just when I was thinking that things couldn't get any worse.

"Wuh-hey, fellas!"

Aaaaand they just got even more worse.

"Hey, Butters." We all say in a unified, stoic, anything-but-eager tone, looking away in different directions as he sits down at the table.

He immediately addresses me. "I never told you that secret I was meanin' to tell you." he beams, putting a forkful of green beans in his mouth and chewing.

My ears perk up at this. I've gotta say... he's gotten my interest. I've been meaning to ask him about that. It's been eating at me for days. Because honestly, I love a good secret. And considering it's a secret of Eric's...

...well, that makes it even better.

"Oh yeah." I nod, leaning my head in one of my hands, resting my elbow on the table as I face him. "I've been meaning to ask you about that."

He smiles, taking a quick sip from his milk before setting it down. "Uh huh. Y-you still want me t-to tell you?"

"Do you have to ask?" I smirk back, chuckling a little.

He takes that as a yes and looks away a little unsure. "Wuh-okay. But d-don't... t-tell Eric I told you. He might get... r-really mad at me."

Kenny scoffs, looking down at his meal to avoid looking at Butters. "Like he hasn't been mad at you before?" He laughs, Stan joining in.

"Wuh... y-yeah, but it's real bad when he gets s-...sore at me. Like, there was this one time he locked me in the closet for four hours because I-"

"Butters, will you just tell me already?" I say, impatiently tapping my finger against the table.

He jumps and looks at me, nodding his head vigorously. "Okay. Here goes..." he looks around once, before turning back and lowering his voice to a mere whisper. "You remember that t-time you moved to San Francisco?"

I blink for a second, looking down in thought. "Yeah. I do."

That time when I was in San Francisco one minute and on a bus back to Colorado the next. Still have no clue how that happened.

"And y-you still don't know... wuh-who put you on t-that bus?"

I nod at this. "Yeah. I was in San Francisco one minute and on the bus the next." I already went over this in my head, Butters, get to the point.

He looks around again before leaning in closer. I have to strain my ears in order to hear his next words.

"Eric's the one who put you on that bus. He saved you."

I think I need my ears checked.

Did Butters just say... that Eric saved me from that storm? Cartman?

...No way.

"What?" is all I can manage to say through my shock.

He nods eagerly again, a little more open now that he let the cat out of the bag. "Uh huh! H-he and I went... all the way there to g-get you out before you were killed! But he m-made me swear I w-would keep it a secret and never tell you. He claimed that he only wanted t-to save you be-because I was too boring for him t-to pick on, but I-I think there was a lot more to it than that."

Stan and I are too shocked to speak. Kenny however, in his typical cool way, is unfazed by the news and chuckles as he tosses his empty water bottle into the trash. "You think?"

Cartman... Eric... seriously...? He really, truly... did that?

Even though I don't really think Butters is a complete liar, and is just making this all up to mess with me...

I still need to hear it from Eric's mouth. I know he'll probably flip when he finds out that I know now, but I still want to hear it from him. Even though I'll probably have to force it out of him. It's not surprising at all to me that he wanted to keep this a complete secret. Because really, why would he want me to know that he saved me? Back then, that would have been something he would have almost never done. We still couldn't stand each other, and he had his pride.

He still does.

But I don't care what he'll do when I confront him about this. He may freak and go berserk, but he probably won't do anything drastic to me.

...Not like Craig will probably do if I stick around and set myself up as an easy target.

I have a feeling he'll still do something to me no matter how quickly I sort this mess out.

Besides, it's been long enough. It's about time that I go out and drag his ass back home. He's had enough time to do whatever he wanted to do.

I'm sick of waiting.

...Retard.

There's a silence at the table I notice, but I'm quick to break it as I stand up. "I've made up my mind. I'm going out to find him."

"What?" Stan asks, looking up at me in confusion.

"I'm going to find Cartman."

Kenny yawns, poking his half-eaten sandwich in boredom. "Really now?"

"Yeah." I nod. "I'm sick of this. His lies, his absence... his ass needs to be dragged back one way or another if he's not going to do it himself."

"Aw, someone misses Cartman." Kenny laughs in a singsong voice, causing Stan to chuckle with him even though he tries to hide it.

Kenny's lucky that I don't give him a good smack. If that wasn't true, then I would do just that. I don't care if he has the ability to see the future or not. He doesn't have to be all cheeky about it.

"Yes, I do." I say simply, crossing my arms and closing my eyes. "I'm not going to deny it. Seriously," I say in a quieter voice, "He's been gone for over a month. I'm starting to get a little worried."

"Yeah. Worried that he's already conquered Denver and is moving on to conquer all of Colorado?" Kenny laughs, once again getting Stan on his side in laughter.

Ugh. I have the greatest friends in the world.

"Guys, stop. Seriously."

"Aww, that's so cute!" Kenny cries in laughter, pointing at me, "He's even rubbed off on him!"

At this I immediately blush, my face probably as red as a tomato. Why do I have to blush so easily?

Stomping my foot angrily, I snatch up my trash and walk over to throw it away, grabbing my bag in preparation to walk off. "Laugh at me while you can, because I'm leaving now."

Stan blinks in shock, opening his mouth to stop me, but Kenny cuts him off before he can say a word. "All right, then. Have fun." he chuckles, waving his hand in a shooing manner.

I sigh, shaking my head as I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose in frustration. "Let me guess. You can tell that I'm going to be just fine, and don't have to worry about me at all." I look back up at him, "Is that right?"

This apparently catches him off guard because he blinks a few times before shaking his head. "No. I was just saying that because I want you to have fun. Go get 'em, tiger." he says, pumping his fist lazily.

I look at him for a few seconds before smiling. I chuckle and shake my head, walking away from the table. "Oh, I'll get 'em all right."

I manage to make it out the double doors before someone calls out to me, halting me in my tracks.

…You wanna take a guess as to who it is?

Go on, guess.

"Wuh-Kyle! Wait up!"

Don't tell me you don't know who that is.

Yeah, I knew you knew.

"Butters?" I ask, surprisingly not in some kind of annoyed tone, "What's up?"

He looks away shyly, fiddling with the hem of his shirt as usual. "Whu-I... I-I wanna come with you. To find Eric."

I blink, quickly biting my tongue to remind myself to be nice even though it's Butters. This is going to be tough. I can't just shoot him down... I'm not that mean. He doesn't mean any harm. His intentions are good, he's given up Eric to me, we're cool.

...Ah, but he's just so annoying.

Can't get out of it now, though, right?

Sighing softly, I scratch my head, looking up and wondering what in the hell I'm about to get myself into.

"Sure. You can tag along, I guess."

There's no way I can explain to you how ecstatic he is when I say this. He's... happy, that's for sure. You still want a clue? Fine.

Get this.

He laughs and hugs me in a bone-crushing hug, pressing a quick, lighthearted kiss to my cheek.

Whoa... I was not expecting that. I've gotta say... Butters certainly has his own way of expressing his feelings.

And believe it or not... I have to say I kinda admire that. When it comes to that, he doesn't really care what others think about him. He just being genuine and honest about how he feels.

That's something we should all admire, really.

"Okay, okay. Come on." I say, walking briskly out into the hall. "I wanna get out of here before next period starts."

He quickly tags along like a puppy, practically skipping down the hall as we leave. The spring in his step is soon lost however, as something strikes him. "Wuh-I-I hope Eric won't b-be too mad at me... he's scary when he's angry."

I blink, giving him a look. "...Then why are you even coming along?"

"Uh..." he mutters, "W-well, I do wanna see him again. I'm just as worried as you are. I-I mean, he been gone a long time, and he needs some sense talked into him!" he frowns, pounding his fist for emphasis.

"...So you're scared he's going to beat the crap out of you, but you want to kick his ass at the same time?" I deadpan.

"Wuh... yeah. T-That's kinda it, I guess."

I tilt my head, crossing my arms after we walk out of the school. "And what about your parents? Won't they ground you for this?"

His eyes widen at this and he immediately pales. "Oh no! You're right! Oh hamburgers, what should I do, Kyle?!"

I give him another look, craning my head back slightly. "Dude, don't ask me. It's not my parents."

"B-But... but I really wanna go..." he whines, looking down at the ground.

Oh my gosh... why do I have to deal with this now?

I sigh, pressing a hand to my forehead. "All right, look. You're gonna have to stand up to your parents sometime. You're almost an adult; they can't rule over your life forever, Butters."

He's silent for a second, thinking this over for a second. Then he nods, giving me a smile. "I-I guess... I guess you're r-right." he stutters, "Stupid f-father... thinking he can ground me for leavin' the cap off on the toothpaste..."

I raise an eyebrow at this, sighing again and closing my eyes in frustration as we reach the car.

This is gonna be one hell of a road trip.

* * *

Okay, I'm not really gonna say much because I'm in such a hurry to get this out. Hope you liked! Tell me what you think; like, don't like, favorite parts maybe.

So yeah~ Love you guys! See ya next time!

-Soul


	16. Back To Square One

Hey there! So yeah. If you've read my profile, then you know kind what's been happening and why I haven't updated in awhile. I'm terribly sorry that I haven't posted, but you know how things happen. Anyway, here's the next chapter for you guys. Seems like I've been working on it forever and it doesn't seem all that long. I apologize if it's not really up to standards. I've been trying my best to finish it up so I can get it out to you guys since I know most of you are waiting in anticipation for Cartman to get back. Which will be next chapter, by the way. =D I'll try my best to get that chapter out as soon as I can because I know most of you can't wait for that. In the meantime, enjoy this chapter~!

* * *

Light... a bright white light.

I can see... a... bright white light and...

Augh, my head hurts..

It's blinding... the light... and I can't see very clearly. Everything's all... blurred.

I'm surprised I can see anything at all. I feel like I'm dead or something. Maybe this is the next life? Heh, Kenny would know...

"...yle?"

Nnh... I hear a voice... and... the light's being blocked now. I see a shadow looming over me now; a person. I blink and try to focus my eyes, and they finally adjust enough so that I can make out who or what's in front of me.

"...Stan?" I ask quietly, blinking my eyes again.

The frown on his face immediately flips over into a smile. "Dude! Thank goodness you're okay!"

Okay? Was I hurt? What was I even doing before...

Oh crap!

I was out looking for Eric! Why would Stan be here if I'm in Denver?!

Actually, where in the hell _am_ I? I don't think I really remember much except that I was leaving to look for Cartman.

Looking around curiously, it only takes me two seconds to figure out where I am. I mean, come on. The beeping machines, a quiet room, me laying on a bed, and not to mention all the white...

Hospital. I'm in the hospital.

Now that I've figured that out, I have another question.

How in the _hell_ did I end up here? Did something happen? Obviously something did since I'm here, but what?

Maybe if I can remember...

I close my eyes and think back as far as I can to try and dig up the answer to a seemingly easy question. Try as I might, it's no use.

That's okay, though. No need to worry about that. Why, you ask?

Well, I have Stan here. Perhaps he has a clue as to why I'm here in Hell's Pass when I should be in Denver searching for my idiot of a crush who thinks it's perfectly fine to just up and leave without a word.

So let's see if he has any idea.

"Dude," I start, rubbing my still aching head, "Why am I here?"

His smiles reverts back to his original frown, and he shrugs his shoulders.

Damn. Guess he doesn't know.

"I have no clue, dude." he replies, much to my disappointment, "Kenny was the one who told me that you were here. And he only said he saw that through his... well, whatever stupid supernatural power he has." he chuckles.

I chuckle along as well before I realize just who it is we're talking about here.

Duh! I should have thought of it before! Kenny would know why I was brought here! I mean, if he knew that I was going to _be_ here, he should know why I was _taken_ here in the first place! His insight of the future can't be _that_ glitched, right? He's bound to have seen that.

I sit up despite it causing an incredible throb in my head. Damn, it's like someone's pounding away at my skull with a sledgehammer or something. And that's not really good. That must mean something pretty drastic happened to me. I'm almost scared to find out what that is. At least it wasn't something that killed me or left me in a severely damaged state.

"Where is he?" I ask in a more urgent tone, looking eagerly around the room.

Thankfully this time, Stan looks more like he knows the answer to this question. He points behind him, looking back towards the door. "He's on his way from school. I think I left him in the dust back there." he chuckles again, turning back to me, "I ran up here so fast because I was afraid you were seriously hurt. I mean, you and Butters left to find Cartman..."

As soon as he says this, I lose track of what he says after that. Butters and I... Oh, that's right! Butters came along with me to go find Cartman, and we left...

…but that's all I can remember so far. Everything else is a blank.

But if Butters was with me on the trip...

…then did he get hurt, too?

"...sure enough you were here." he finishes, my ears just catching the last bit.

I instantly speak up after that, not stopping to wonder what I might have missed him saying. "Hey..." I say, glancing around the room, "Is Butters all right?"

Hey, just because I think the kid's annoying doesn't mean I'm completely heartless towards him.

Stan gives a slight smile, a sign to me that he's okay. "He's fine. He's in another room, though. Next one over, I think."

"That's good." I say in response, almost absentmindedly, breathing a short sigh of relief. If he wasn't okay, I would feel terrible. I was pretty much responsible for his safety, even though he was the one who asked to go, and if something had happened it would basically be my fault.

Now that's going to bother the heck out of me. No matter how hard I try... whatever I managed to do... I still can't remember a thing in between. And my head still hurts, so... that can't be a sign that we simply just knocked our heads together. Something bigger than that must have happened...

….wait a second. Do I smell alcohol somewhere? It's really close. Has Stan maybe been drinking or something? That's a stretch, but I swear that's alcohol I'm smelling.

Despite it being completely unreal, I decide to ask him just that.

"Stan..." I start slowly, looking at him, "You been drinking? I smell alcohol close by."

He shakes his head, confusing me even more. What am I smelling, then? "No, dude." he says, catching my attention again, "That's you. Your clothes reek of it."

If he says anything more, I don't hear it. I'm too busy running my mind over what he just said, trying to figure why I would even have been near alcohol. I never drink. Ever. I'm too much of a do-gooder to ever think about breaking the law or anything like that. Not only am I too young to drink like that, but it's not really good for my condition. I had always promised myself that I would never touch a drink for sake of my health. Besides, I don't really think alcohol tastes that good anyway. Not from the samples I've had before.

But... that may explain some things. Why I'm here, why my head hurts. There is, I guess, the possibility that I went out and did something stupid if there was alcohol involved. Butters must have been under the influence too, otherwise he would have stopped me from doing anything that would cause us to end up here.

Hell, he probably would have stopped me from drinking in the first place, but since that isn't the case...

Aw, I don't know. There are too many holes in my memory right now. Too many questions and not enough information to answer them. Maybe Butters will remember better than I do. I'll have to ask him if he recalls anything when we get out of here.

...Seriously, what could have gotten me to drink that much alcohol? That's really gonna bug me now... I mean, I'm usually responsible enough to stay away from things like that.

Damn... I'll bet not even Eric drinks th-

"Hey, hey, there's our little fighter."

I blink at the new voice, looking up to see who just walked in the room. I instantly smile at the familiar face. Here's the someone who may have some answers for me.

"Hey, Kenny." I grin, sitting up straighter in the bed.

He gives a simple wave back, strolling casually over to lean against the wall. "What happened to you, man?" he says, letting out a light chuckle, "One minute you're heading to Denver to find Cartman, and the next you're here."

In a second I'm frowning again. Guess he doesn't know what happened to me, either. Still... he _could_ be treating this like a game. Just like he does life, now that I think about it... Maybe he's playing clueless just to mess with me. Wouldn't hurt to ask him if he knows anything.

"I don't really know, dude." I say quietly, looking at the blank, white wall, "I was hoping you would. Please tell me you're just messing with me."

He blinks at me, then shakes his head. I can feel my face drop even more as he does this.

"You're... not?" Another shake, slow and simple. Well, one more question, just to make sure. "So... you really don't know?"

He pauses for a second before looking me straight in the eye and waving a hand. "Naw, I'm just messing with you. I know _everything_."

Whoa. Big emphasis on that last word. But I forget about this quickly as I look back at him with heightened spirits. "You really do know, then?!" I say eagerly, leaning forward in excitement. Dude, if he knows everything.... man, he's such an awesome friend! I'm so freaking lucky to know this guy. I love him (well, not _that_ way) and his supernatural, almighty powers! I-

"No, I was just kidding about that. I really have no clue."

...I hate him so much.

"Kenny, what the hell?!" I exclaim, pounding my fists on the starched, white sheets of the bed.

Well, can you blame me?! The guy's freaking messing with me! And here I am in the freaking hospital with no recollection of what happened to me or why I'm here! I bet you would feel the same way I do right now if you knew one of your friends had supernatural, future-seeing powers and might be able to tell you things you don't know, but they choose to simply screw with you and pretend they know what really happened when they actually don't!

…

Phew.

Okay. That's your rant for today. No more. I'm done. Put your popcorn up, it's over. Yeah, I'm sorry.

Kenny just shrugs, pulling out a cigarette to light up. He's quickly reminded by Stan that he's not even supposed to smoke in the room by swiping the smoke from his hand and throwing it in the trash.

"Hey, those cost a lot of money!" he frowns, stuffing the lighter and pack back into his pocket.

"I'll never understand how your family can't manage to keep a decent meal on the table, but they still are able to scrounge up the cash to buy cigarettes and vodka." Stan sighs, shaking his head in disbelief.

I clear my throat and wave my hand in front of me to get their attention again, wanting to get back on the topic of my mystery return.

...But that's the thing. It can't be a mystery to everyone. Butters and I didn't get here through just divine intervention. Someone must have brought us here. Question is, who? And how would they have known that we live in South Park and needed to be brought here to Hell's Pass?

That must mean that the person who brought us here knows us. But again, who? It couldn't have been Craig. He's automatically out of the picture. No need to remind you _or _myself that I'm on his hit list for the stupidest reason ever.

I swear, he's practically gone nuts... what's gotten into him...?

Well, whatever. We know it's definitely not him, so scratch him off the list.

Have to count Stan and Kenny out, too. Stan had no clue what happened to me, and Kenny only knew that I was here at the hospital after the fact. Butters was with me, so it can't be him, either.

So who do we have left?

The only other guys that really know me are Clyde, Token, Jimmy, and Tweek. They didn't really know I was gone, though, and even if they did they wouldn't randomly go out to look for me. I wasn't even gone that long. There was no reason to go out and find me.

There's also the possibility of Ike doing this. But if it was him, he would already have been here in the hospital room along with my parents. They're not here yet, so I assume they have no idea that this happened at all.

The only person left is...

...Eric.

But that's just wishful thinking on my part. I was the one out looking for him, and I had no idea where he was. He told me not to even look for him, so why would he have found us out there? How ironic would that be? There's no way that could have happened.

Scratch that, too.

And that's it.

Ugh, but that makes no sense, though. It must have been someone from South Park, right? And it must have been someone who knows me, right?

Ah, maybe not. Perhaps some stranger happened to find us and got us some help.

But if that's the case, then why am I back here in South Park's hospital, and not in one of the ones in Denver? If we wrecked somewhere in Denver, then wouldn't we be in a hospital there? I definitely wouldn't be seeing Stan and Kenny here, and the papers on the wall wouldn't say Hell's Pass Hospital; they would say something else. So I know I'm in South Park, but I have no clue who saved our lives.

Hm. Well, maybe... maybe Kenny has a clue. Though I'm reluctant to ask him now since he screwed with me earlier. I may not get a straight answer from him. Won't hurt to try, though. Usually if he knows something, he'll tell me straight.

Let's just hope he _does_ know.

"Hey, Kenny." I say in a calm voice, waiting for him to look up at me, "I know you don't know what happened to me and Butters that got us here, but would you happen to know who found us out there?"

What happens next has me alert and watching him very carefully. It's real subtle, but I notice him stiffen a bit as he looks away from me. His eyes fall on the plants sitting by the window, and he shakes his head slowly. Somehow, though, probably because of the way he acted when I asked the question, I don't believe him.

"No..." he replies in an almost unsure voice, "I don't know. Sorry, Kyle."

Doesn't know... he said that before, then tricked me into believing that he did in fact know. I wait for a second for him to say something else, maybe to tell me that he was kidding (even though last time he was lying about that), but he remains silent.

Huh. Well, maybe it's just me, but I think he's hiding something. He was hesitating when he answered my question. There's something that he knows, but just won't tell me.

But he's not gonna hide it from me for long. I'm going to drag the truth out of him no matter what it takes.

I need to know what he knows. He's told me things before without a second thought, so this time it must be really good if he's deliberately keeping it from me.

"Kenny." I say in a sterner voice, still keeping a close eye on his form and watching his posture for any shifts or changes, "I have a feeling you're not telling me something."

Watch, watch... oh! There's a slight cringe! Ha, I'm on to you Mr. Immortality.

He simply shakes his head again, getting more and more nervous looking by the second. "No, I don't know a thing."

Dammit. He's not going to crack that easily, is he? Of course, I wasn't really expecting him to. It's just it would have been nice if he had.

Looks like I'm going to have to take a different approach. As much I as hate doing this, I'm going to have to swallow my pride and just do it. If it gets me an answer, then it's not such a big deal, but if it doesn't...

… then I'll really hate myself for the rest of eternity.

"Kenny," I say softly, try my best to sound pitiful and helpless, "You can see a lot of things. Are you sure there isn't something you're not telling me? I... I really need to know if you do. Please, Kenny." I finish with a whisper, giving him the saddest look ever.

God. If this doesn't work, I'm gonna shoot myself. Seriously. I hate acting weak and helpless in front of people. It's embarrassing, especially when I'm not really that lost. People already get the impression that I'm a girl from my physical looks; acting like one makes it ten, even a hundred times worse. You're very well aware of it, I know.

Kenny blinks and looks at me like I've just grown an extra arm, obviously shocked by my little performance. I'm actually shocked that he hasn't done anything else but that yet; Stan's already back there snickering like a maniac. Jerk...

He's silent for a few seconds more before he sighs and looks to the window again, nestling his hands in his pockets. "...Okay. Maybe I _do_ know something." He looks back to me, notices my instant switch to eagerness, and immediately adds, "_But_ I'm not telling you. It's best that you don't know."

Ugh. Son of a bitch. Not more. Sheesh, how much more I am I going to have to fight? I already did the helpless look; I could do another one, but...

No. Just no. What am I thinking? I am NOT pulling the cute look in the same conversation. Nuh uh. Not in front of Kenny or Stan. I don't want to give Kenny a heart attack and have him die, and Stan won't ever let me live it down. Ever. I mean that.

Great. I'm going to have to think of another way to get this out of him. But what? I don't want to crush my pride even more, and he's not gonna tell me that easily. As far as I can see, the secret is his and his alone for the time being.

Wonder why he won't tell me, though...? Is it that bad for me to know? It can't be, right? I mean, it's not like his powers are going to be taken away from him (however he got them) just because he tells me. His wonderful, beautiful women that he tells us about all the time, you know, the ones that are always waiting for him when he dies and ascends, aren't going to be taken away from him. Seriously-

...Wait. That's it.

Maybe I can bait him into telling me.

Yeah. If I tell him I can promise a girl for him, a really pretty one at that, he might spill it in return. I may be completely wrong about this, but usually the promise of a girl will almost always work as a bribe. I feel kind of bad about doing this to him because I don't think I can really promise him one, but I'm bound to find out what he knows eventually anyway, right? What the harm in getting the info that much earlier?

Okay. Here goes.

"Hey, Ken," I say thoughtfully, looking around the room innocently. He flicks his gaze up to me, obviously irritated that I'm bothering him yet again. "If I told you I could get Bebe hooked up with you, would you tell me?"

The mention of her name has his demeanor changing in a second, working just like a charm.

"...You could do that?" he says quickly and quietly, his eyes lighting up a little bit. "With _Bebe_?" He emphasizes her name, a clear sign that he's interested. Both in my offer and in her. Knew that her name would get him hooked like a dog on a leash. For some reason, she has that effect on him. Well, pretty much any girl has that kind of effect on him, but that's beside the point.

I nod my head in response and smile, thrilled that my plan is working. "Yep. Bebe."

He looks down, taking this into consideration. Which is totally fine with me. As long as he agrees to tell me. That's all I need right now.

"...All right..." he sighs, closing his eyes in defeat. Yes, it looks like he's giving in. Perfect.

...Yeah, I know this is bad. I'm probably not going to keep up my end of the deal, but I don't really care right now. I want my end filled first. If the truth's really that valuable, then I'll maybe consider holding up my end of the deal later.

...Are you kidding? I am_ not_ acting like Cartman! Where did that come from?! Shut up!

"I'll tell you, but you gotta promise to hook me up with her." he commands, pointing a finger at me. Then he adds in a quieter voice, "Been trying to get her for months..."

"Yes, yes, I promise, Ken." I chuckle.

...That's borderline lying.

…

Ah, what am I doing?

"Here's the thing..." he starts.

I still have a conscience. It's gonna keep nagging at me, telling me this is wrong.

"You crashed somewhere around Denver... not sure where... but I think you already gues... nce you're so smart."

I can't cheat Kenny like this. He's my friend. He's going to tell me. I can't just take it and run with it. That's wrong.

"You... Butters were out... alcohol... icy and you must not have..."

He's helped me out more times than I can count in the past few weeks. The least I could do is help him out, as bad as his intentions probably are. I mean, when he goes after girls it's only because he's interested in getting some kind of physical pleasure from them. But it's still more wrong of me to blow him off and ignore my part of the deal. It'll come back to bite me in the end.

"Anyway, a little birdie told me that it was Cartman that saved you, but I'm not so sure that's right."

I gasp at this, my eyes widening in shock. What... did he just say?

I hear the end of his chuckle before he speaks again. "I mean, he's usually not that kind. But I guess since he has that little crush on you, he figured he could be your... knight in shining armor." He finishes that last part in a sing-song voice, clasping his hands together and batting his eyelashes in mockery.

I ignore this, though, choosing to stare down at my sheets and let it all sink in.

Did he say... r-real... really?

I gulp, blinking my eyes and shaking my head in disbelief.

I... we... He was... No.

No. No no no.

...I was supposed to... he was supposed to...

What?

"Kenny..." I say slowly, looking at him hesitantly, "You _did_ say Cartman, right?"

To my amazement, shock, and almost fear he nods in response. "Yeah. I... did." He studies me for a second before smiling a small smile that has a hint of uneasiness to it. "Told you it was best you didn't know. Knew it would leave you speechless."

He did say... oh my...

This... this is too much. I know Kenny's telling the truth, but for some reason I can't make myself believe that it's true. Is it because he's been gone so long? I've been waiting so long for him to get back, ad it's never happened; I had to go out and find him, and that didn't even happen because I ended up in the hospital, but knowing that he would be kind enough to save me even though it's not really like him to (even though he's saved me before) is just...

But... if he _did_ save me...

Then why isn't he here? Has he left again? Did he even bother to stay? Kenny claims that he loves me, but he hasn't shown that to my face yet. He could have already gone again, and I...

No...

I don't want him to be gone. No... he... he _has_ to be here, right? He has to have stayed! He can't just up and leave like that again! I can't start over looking for him, waiting for him! Living without him...

Heh. As much as I want that to be true, it's probably not. It's more likely than anything that he _is_ gone. He didn't want me coming after him at all. If he was the one who brought me and Butters here, he wouldn't stay for fear of me holding him down and not letting him leave. He would have gone back to lose me again and prevent me from following him.

…

He's... not here.

No. I'm convinced of it. He's not coming ba-

What? Ask Kenny? But it was hard enough getting that answer out of him. Why do you think that he would tell me if Cartman's here or not?

...Well, yeah. I guess that was the biggest thing he could tell me. But, if he tells me about Cartman's whereabouts it may be even worse because I'll just go out after him again if Kenny tells me he's gone.

..Try anyway?

…

Okay. I'll try.

"...Ken...ny?" I say in a slow whisper, looking down at the white sheets of the bed because I don't have the courage to look at him. I don't want to see him shake his head at my next question. "Is Cartman... still here?"

Because I'm not looking at him, I have to wait a few seconds for his response. He doesn't take long to speak, though. My heart pounds in anticipation.

"Yeah. He is."

There's never been a moment in my life where I felt like my heart was about to burst until this one. I've never been so... ecstatic... happy in my life. Not until now. The joy's so overpowering that I think my head's about to explode from it.

I run the words over in my head again and again, holding onto them like they're the only thing I have left. Funny how three simple words like those can make me so... overjoyed. I just... I just can't believe he said that. I can't grasp it in my mind yet. It's... it's just too much!

"..." I don't know if I can even say anything. My mind's going at a million miles an hour. "...I..." Well, it's something, but not much. "Wow. I..." Dammit, can't I say anything worthwhile?! "Dude, I-I... I n-need to see him. N-Now." Ha, that's it! It was shaky, but at least it was something. I didn't exactly want to be sitting here stuttering like an idiot for the rest of the day.

Kenny chuckles, walking over to my bed and patting me on the back. "Well then, go for it, dude. Stan and I are holding you back, are we, Stan?" he asks, looking behind him with a grin.

Stan laughs and shakes his head, waving his hand. "No, we're not. But I think we need to wait for him to be released first."

"Oh, come on, Stan." Kenny chuckles again, rolling his eyes, "Don't be so uptight about that kind of stuff. Live a little!" he says, grabbing hold of my arm. "Come on, Kyle." he tugs me out of the bed and onto my feet. "We're gonna get you out of here so you can go see him." I'm led to the door which Kenny opens. "And the two of you are gonna see each other and-"

"Kyle! There you are!"

Before I know it, I'm yanked away from Kenny and pulled tight against someone else.

The last person I want to see or hear right now.

I'm in soooooo much trouble.

I swallow nervously as I'm let go, my blood running cold and draining from my face as I come face to face with none other than my mother.

"Where have you been, young man?! I have been looking all over for you!"

Oh boy. Here we go. Do I tell her the truth or flat out lie to her?

…

Better go with the truth. Don't want the extra rage that'll come along with her finding out that I lied to her. Besides, I don't have a good lie to tell her. I didn't exactly have time to come up with one.

"I... went to Denver with Butters." I sigh, hanging my head low, "And before that I was staying at Eric's house."

I finish quietly but calmly, shutting my eyes and waiting for her big outburst that know is coming no matter what.

She gasps, quickly grabbing my wrist and tugging it forward slightly. "You took off your band?!" she cries, apparently appalled, "No wonder your father and I couldn't find you! You, sir, are in big trouble!"

Yeah. Already guessed that. Tell me something I don't know, mom.

I hear footsteps from outside the door coming close to the room. Opening my eyes, I see my dad who heads over to me as soon as he sees me.

"Kyle! Oh, thank god you're okay! Where have you been?!"

I sigh, nodding my head towards my mom with a blank look on my face, my eyes half lidded. "Ask mom." I say bluntly without any enthusiasm at all. I'm not exactly happy to see my parents at the moment if you hadn't noticed.

"Gerald!" my mom cries again, letting go of my wrist to turn to my dad, "Our bubbe went to Denver! Denver! By himself!"

"Denver?!" my dad asks in shock, looking over at me. "Kyle, why?!"

I keep my mouth shut on this one. I don't want to tell them I was out looking for Eric. That's not only embarrassing, but who knows what my mom will do if she knows that I was out looking for him. She'll freak! Freak and so much more. Probably ground me for a month. No... she's already going to do that. She would probably ground me for a whole year. Monitor my every move, put bars on my window.

...Okay, maybe that's exaggerating things a bit. But she would definitely ground me. And worse... not let me ever see Eric again.

"Because mom's suffocating me again!" I bark out the best excuse I can, though it really is pretty true, "She's suffocating everyone! Putting these wristbands on everyone isn't solving the problem, it's making ti worse!" I turn to look at my mom. "Mom, I told you before, I'm the only one you need to deal with. I'm the problem; just me. You can't just drag all these other people into the equation! You're just making it worse by doing that. Please," I beg, clasping my hands together, "Stop this. Deal. With. Me."

For a second I think my plea's gone unheard because she doesn't answer me, but she finally responds. However, it's... not exactly the answer I was hoping for.

"I will deal with you, Kyle," she says sternly, giving me one of her looks. You know... I can't really explain it. It's one of those mother looks you get when you get into deep trouble. When you not only piss them off by doing something, but you go against them. "Since you can't seem to keep yourself safe and in one place, I'm going to not only ground you, but I'm limiting you on where you are allowed to go. You are not permitted to be anywhere but school or home at anytime of the day. I'll be calling the school every hour of the school day to make sure you're in class at all times. If you're not, I will be taking you out of school and will teach you at home instead."

...Jesus Christ. You've got to be kidding me, right?! Tell me this is a joke! Come on, we can all laugh about it, then I can wake up and realize this is all a dream.

…

...This isn't a dream, is it?

Dammit.

Well, I should have expected this. It is my mom. I'm actually surprised she didn't add anymore to that. Of course, what else can you tack on as a punishment if you already limit where one can go?

I can't wait until college. Because when that time comes around, I am moving away as far as I possibly can, and living in a dorm. I'll save up the money, even beg for it on my hands and knees if I have to, so I can pay for everything. I will get a freaking job and earn the cash so I can get the hell out of here. Away from mom, away from Craig who wants to kill me because of what my mom's done which is a result of Cartman telling her which is my fault because I was stupid enough to not believe him... away from all the drama that's making my head spin and hurt and...

This is all so much. I'm so tired. Tired of the emotions; of one thing piling on top of the other; of fighting for something so_ simple; _for someone so complex...

I just want things to go back to the way they were before. Back to when Cartman and I still hated each other, and the secret of me being gay was still to myself. I don't care if he loves me anymore... he's taken too long. I'm slowly slipping away in this ongoing battle for his heart, and even though I've pretty much already won it, what does it matter if he's not here for me to have?

I'm so sick of everything.

I just... want this to all end.

Cartman... Eric... I need you... to save me from all of this. Please...

Where in the hell are you?

* * *

Mmm, yeah. I'm pretty sure a lot of you are getting tired of all of this drama, right? XD If you are, I'm really sorry, but I can't seem to keep it out of the story. For some reason I think it makes it good; you know, more interesting. That's just me, though. But don't worry. Things will eventually turn around for Kyle. Like Kenny said, a happy ending. So if the drama's really getting to you, just keep that in mind. I promise I'm not going to pull a fast one on you and have the whole thing end tragically. =D

Again, there's not much for me to say other than that. It's late and I'm exhausted from pretty much everything. This week's been really long for me for multiple reasons, and I'm so glad it's the weekend. I'll try my best to get the next chapter out this weekend as well, so cross your fingers for that. Until the, thanks so much for reading! All of you who are keeping up with this story are awesome! Love you all!

-Soul


	17. Reunion

Nope. It's not a glitch. I'm actually updating again. This is the next chapter. It's not a trick, trust me.

Okay, so here's the truth. Some of you know this, but the reason I updated again so quickly was because I was getting pretty impatient myself. I couldn't wait for Cartman to be back again, so I had to sit down and write it to get it out of my system. Plus, I know most of you are itching for the moment he returns. Don't worry. It's gonna happen in this chapter. Promise.

Also, this is really my first time writing a fighting scene. It's not that long, but I tried to make it pretty decent. I'll leave it to you and your imagination to play it out the way you want it in your mind.

...Yeah, it's late. I'm not really gonna make a whole lot of sense. XD

I'll just let you read now. Enjoy~! It's a long one~

* * *

"Okay, Kyle. Your records show us that you're good to go home now. You're free to leave anytime. Take care."

Home. That's like a miracle word to you when you've been in the hospital, surrounded by nothing but sickness, possibly death, and all that white. When you've been stuck in a basically blank room for however long by yourself, the only human contact coming in little spurts of either friends, relatives, or doctors and nurses, the latter who only talk to you about your health and nothing else. To hear the nurse come in and tell you you're finally better, you're safe to go back home where the real comfort is, is probably one of the best things you've heard in your life. You can't wait to get out of that boring, dank room and back into someplace familiar.

Well, for me it's different.

I am _not _looking forward to going home.

The nurse who just came in and told me that I'm released from the hospital just brought me possibly the worst news I've ever heard in my life.

Going home for me means that I have no life anymore. Nothing except for home and school. That's it. And if I go against my mother's wishes, it'll be knocked down to just home.

I swear I'll go insane if that happens.

So... I guess I'm stuck. I've finally been caught. I've been running all this time, and I've finally been trapped. The battle's over. I let my guard down, somehow (it's so annoying that I don't remember), and that cost me everything. I'm not getting a second chance. Not now. Not again.

There's a tracker on me now. No, not like the tracker our parents had put on us because they were freaking out about us being abducted. God that thing was stupid... But no, it's nothing like that. It just a... simple chain around my neck.

Jesus, I feel like a freaking dog.

But... I've decided that I'm not going to run anymore; I'm not going to fight anymore. Because every time I do, it just makes things worse. I've mentioned this to Stan before. That this is just a cycle that keeps going around. A formula that I or we keep on following. No matter what the situation, something bad always happens, and we end up in the middle of this big mess and have to fix it all somehow. Then we have to say what we learned from it all, think something like that is never going to happen again, and then it starts all over the next day.

Well, not this time. I'm going to quit trying to do what I think is right or what I should do, and just go with the flow. Just go with the flow and not do anything at all except for what I'm told. That way, I can possibly have a normal life, no matter how boring, lame, and horrible it is.

That way, maybe all of this crap will stop happening.

"Come, come, Kyle." my mother urges, walking out the room with my father, "Let's go home now."

I sigh sadly, throwing the covers off of my body and hopping off the bed.

_Don't say that word..._

I like to keep telling myself that this is just a dream. That I'm really somewhere in Denver, fast asleep in the car that Eric left behind for me to drive, with Butters in the passenger seat sleeping as well. I like to think that I'm still on the run from mom and Craig, and looking for him, but it's no use. I've pinched myself multiple times, hoping to wake up from this, but it hasn't worked yet. This is all very real.

Just give up and admit it, I tell myself. It's over. Things are coming to a close, and you lost the battle. Lost the war. There's nothing else you can do. Once again, your mother's activist ways have gotten you into more trouble than you can handle, and it's only a matter of time before everything falls apart right in front of your eyes.

I sigh again as we exit the hospital, falling further and further behind my parents as we walk to the car. Ike isn't here since it's still during the school day. It's a shame, too, because I could use him here to cheer me up like he always does when something goes wrong for me.

I'm just waiting for the part where something happens that throws everything out of whack and makes my mom change her mind about this. It should happen pretty soon if things keep going this way; it always does.

It's a long, silent, and absolutely awkward car ride home. I swear my dad was driving extra slow just to make it even worse. But maybe not. I'm pretty ticked right now, so the slightest thing irritates me and has me pointing fingers at things that I probably have no right to.

When we get home, I walk in the door first, happier than anything to get out of the car though I don't show it on the outside. My mom nags behind me as I drag myself up the stairs, but I don't bother to listen because it's all the same thing anyway. Don't leave your room, you're not to even think about leaving this house, if you do we'll know exactly where you are and when we catch you again you'll be in even bigger trouble than you're in now. Get started on the homework you missed, and after you're done with that study for your SATs that you're going to take next spring; I expect a perfect score because you won't have a car, phone, or computer to distract you from your studies, blah, blah, blah.

I'll call you down when dinner's ready.

I let out a short breath of relief as I close the door to my room, leaning heavily against it for a second before gathering the strength to trudge over and flop on my bed. Looking around absentmindedly, my mind wanders back to when Butters and I left. I want to figure out why in the hell we ended up in the hospital, and how in the hell Eric found us in the first place.

My heart pounds faster at the mere mention of his name in my mind. Just the thought of him being back has me itching to get out of this house.

But... I can't leave. And I would try to call him, but there are two problems with that. One being that I don't exactly have a cell phone anymore. Mom took it away. Two is that he had disconnected his number when I tried to call him last time, and it's probably still that way.

Well... at least I have the hope that he's still here. If Kenny wasn't lying about that...

Huh. Just thought of something...

...What in the hell happened to his car that I was driving?

Hmm...

Oh well. Nothing I can do about it now.

Crap, he's probably going to beat me up for that.

I sigh for the millionth time, laying my head down comfortably down on my pillows and closing my eyes. Maybe he won't think anything of it. He had three cars with only two people living there. It won't hurt him to lose one. He won't force me to live in debt under him just because I managed to possibly wreck his car, right?

...Maybe not. No matter how much it may seem that he's changed, he's still Cartman. Me damaging something of his probably isn't going to go down so well with him, regardless of whether he likes me or not.

Ugh. I should have just stayed put. Then none of this would have happened.

But things can't get any worse, can they? This has been going on for so long. There's bound to be a break for me somewhere, right? It's not fair that I'm going through all of this with no relief whatsoever.

Please... just give me one, simple break. That's all I need. Please let tomorrow be normal and uneventful. I'm... about to... collapse from... this...

It's... too... much...

* * *

I've never been so scared to go to school in my life. Not scared like nervous scared as in it's the first day of school all over again, but scared like I know that there's the possibility of me getting shot scared. I've been going to school all these years, and there hasn't been a single day where I've felt as sick to my stomach as I do now.

I don't know if I can even go inside.

But I have to. If I don't, I'll be in ever deeper trouble. And who knows what kind of thing that'll trigger. With my luck, my mom'll blame the teachers or something for it, and take over teaching the school herself. And she'll become such a dictator, somehow overseeing all of the classrooms at once and teaching every single grade at the same time, and the work will be so hard and strenuous that everyone in the whole goddamned school will get pissed at _me_ because it's my mother who's doing all of it, and it's somehow my fault that she's doing it in the first place. Then it'll be MY responsibility to fix it all, and it all will have happened because I was too afraid to attend class because I know that Craig is going to kill me for similar reasons.

...You wanna trade lives? You know, I take on yours and you take on mine? I'd be more than willing to do so. You look like you could handle all of this. Yeah. The only thing is that you have to promise me that your life is completely normal, and devoid of any of this drama.

Okay, I'm kidding.

I can deal with this myself. Really. It's cool. Don't worry about it.

"Hey, Kyle!" I hear someone call from across the campus. It's Stan.

"Hey, dude." I say rather unenthusiastically, trying my best to smile despite the fear that's taking over my mind.

"How's it going at home?" he asks, stopping in front of me.

Damn, of all the things he could have brought up, it had to be that, didn't it? "Eh." I shrug, putting my hands in my coat pockets to keep them warm, "I guess it could be worse."

He smiles in an apologetic way, patting me on the shoulder. "Aww, don't stress yourself out over it. Things will get better soon, trust me. It always ends up the same way, doesn't it? We do something, it escalates into this big problem that gets way out of hand, we learn a lesson, and it goes back to normal before it starts all over again, right?"

I can't help but smile at this. Glad he's finally picked up on it after all these years. But my smile is short-lived. "That's not what I'm stressing out over, dude." I say quietly, shaking my head and looking around warily. I step closer to him so that I can whisper and he can hear me. I'm being overly cautious, I know, but it's better to be safe than sorry. If I say the wrong thing at the wrong time, it could cost me. "It's about Craig. I swear, dude, he's out to get me."

Stan blinks, pulling back to look at me in confusion. "What?"

I nod my head, the both of us starting to walk to the front of the school. "Yeah. Did you see what he did to me the other day? He came up to me in between classes and threatened to beat me up all because of what my mom's done with the whole wristband thing. He slammed me against the lockers, and he had the most dangerous look in his eyes."

"Craig?" Stan says in shock, furrowing his eyebrows. "You sure, dude? That doesn't sound like him."

"It totally was!" I cry, not watching my voice level anymore. "I know it's not like him, but it was definitely him who confronted me! He said that if I didn't fix this, he's going to give me more to worry about. Dude, he's out to get me!"

Stan shakes his head in disbelief. "Well, maybe's he's under some kind of spell or something. Like... you know how he was the guy who was supposed to save us from the guinea pigs and stuff? Maybe something weird like that is happening again... like someone's controlling him or something, and he's bent on beating you up because of that."

I'm silent for a few seconds, giving him the strangest look I can muster. Is he serious? "Stan, are you nuts?" I finally say, stopping in my tracks. "Where in the hell did you get that from? There's no way Craig's under some kind of mind control!"

Stan shrugs, looking down at the ground for a second before looking back up at me. "Well..." he starts slowly, "Kenny has... the ability to see the future..." His speech is broken, almost unsure as he explains, "And this is... South Park. Strange things happen all the time, dude."

"Yeah, but-" I start, pausing when I realize I don't have anything to say. Stan stares back at me for a moment, looking to the side when he realizes something.

"Look, I should... get to class." he says in that same slow, unsure voice, "Coach wants us there early so that we can stretch. I'll see you later."

And with that he walks away, leaving me behind to gape and gawk, still searching for a comeback even though I know it won't be heard.

Ugh. He's right... somewhat... but Craig's not under freaking mind control! That's stupid! I mean, I know it's not really like him to lash out like he did, but who would have reason to put him under their control just so they can have him beat me up?!

That's just ridiculous.

Maybe Stan's the one under some kind of spell.

Gah, what am I thinking?! That's such an irrational thing to think! Nobody here is under mind control. At all.

"Well, well, well. What have we here?"

I stiffen at the voice, the blood instantly stopping in my veins as soon as it reaches my ears.

No. No no no.

That's not who I think it is, that's not who I think it is.

The owner of the voice steps forward and stands in front of me, and I'm pretty sure my hearts stops working out of fear.

"Craig..." I manage to whisper, my eyes growing wide with shock.

Speak of the devil...

He stares at me blankly, his arms crossed firmly across his chest as he stands just two feet away from me. I can feel the blood drain from my face as he stares me down. My mind screams for me to run, but my feet aren't listening.

Dammit... Stan, why did you have to leave? I could really use your help right now...

Badly.

"Glad you remember my name, Kyle." he says in a voice that's a mix of irritated and sarcastic, "I'm so flattered." He takes a few steps forward; I step back in response, "Flattered that you still remember little old me even though you ran away from your responsibilities and managed to get yourself into a wreck that you can't even remember getting into."

...Wait. He... knows about that? Guess I'm not surprised. News can spread like wildfire here if it gets to the right person.

My back hits something solid and I blink in reflex. I look back and see he's backed me into a wall. I have nowhere to go. He leans in close like he did that time before, whispering in that same dark voice that reminds me of Eric so much.

"I hope you're grateful for your memory." he growls, breath coming out in white puffs due to the cold air, "Because I'm about to beat it straight out of you." Though it's pretty much impossible, he leans in closer, "I asked you nicely before to take care of this." What?! That was nicely?! "But you didn't listen. What's worse... is that you ran off like a coward. Well, you're not running anymore, Kyle." He stiffens, like he's getting ready to attack, "I'm going to make sure you stay here. Permanently."

Like lighting, he throws his first punch. I dodge as quickly as I can, throwing myself to the ground and rolling, making sure that I get as far away from the wall so that he can't trap me again. Hopefully I won't have to fight for long... someone out here will see us...

I take a second to scan the area, scrambling back up on my feet.

No one. Not a single person out here.

What the fuck?!

Where in the hell is everyone?!

"Rrgh!"

I snap my head back over to look at Craig, who's nursing his right fist with his left hand. He looks extremely pissed off, probably because all he hit was the wall, not me.

Great. That's bound to have made it worse, huh?

He charges again, and once again I have only about half a second to react, narrowly missing his punch. I jump back and stumble a little, catching my balance at the last second.

"Craig, please!" I cry, dodging another punch and backing up some more. "Stop this! There's no need for you to do this! Serious-" Another dodge, "ly!"

"Rrgh, shut up!" he roars, throwing another punch towards my stomach. Because I'm too preoccupied thinking how stupid it was of me to try to negotiate with him, I miss dodging his attack. He gets a blow right in where he aimed, knocking the wind out of me.

Holy crap!

I'm thrown to the ground by the hit, squeezing my eyes shut as I hit the snow. As quickly as I can, and for the sake of my life, I recover and open my eyes again, just in time to see him leaping down towards me in a rage. My mind snaps back into action and I kick my legs out, knocking him on the chest, and flipping him straight over me. He flies across the ground, landing on his back with a thud.

I cough a few times, trying to get the breath back in me before he gets up again. It takes me a second, but I manage to get up. Brushing the snow off of me before it melts on my clothes, I glare at him angrily, watching him like a hawk as he pushes himself off the ground and recovers.

Oh, it's on, Craig.

He snarls, standing up again, and immediately runs towards me to attack again. I stand my ground, preparing myself to meet him head-on.

_I'm not running anymore._

He throws another fist as hard as he can, this one intended for my jaw. I quickly raise a hand of my own to block it, hooking him in the stomach like he did me. Before my fist meets, though, he twists and tries to elbow me in the chest. I knock that arm down and swing my leg around while he's still twisted, tripping him so that he stumbles away from me.

I aim a punch at his face, but he quickly retaliates and elbows me as hard as he can on the back, slamming me to the ground.

"Oof!" I breathe out harshly, shaking my head to get the snow off my face. I quickly roll over on my back in anticipation of his next attack. He kicks me once in the side, hard enough to probably leave a bruise, and is about to punch me again when something stops him.

Before either of us can react, something flies over me and knocks into Craig, slamming him to the ground with a force twice as strong as his or mine. I hear the thud of him hitting the ground and cringe, stunned at the force of what hit him.

Wiping the rest of the snow off my face, I slowly open my eyes to see what happened, wondering what in the hell could have happened to Craig; wondering who or what could have hit him with that kind of power.

What I see completely blows my mind away.

"No way.." I whisper in shock, shaking my head over and over.

I can't believe it... it's... it's...

"Come on! Let's go, Kyle!"

Before I can even begin to comprehend what's going on and decide whether this is really real or if I just got knocked out by Craig and didn't make the connection, I'm yanked away by the arm, being dragged away to who knows where.

I look up at my savior, still with wide eyes, taking in every single feature I can see as we both run away from the campus and into the wooded area behind the school.

The soft, brown hair... the tall, strong build... same red jacket...

"Eric..." I breathe, staring at him stupidly as we slow to a stop in a clearing. I barely notice myself pant from the running as I look at him, my mind completely frozen on the moment.

He pants a little, brushing his bangs across his face. "We should be safe here..." he mutters, looking past me with his beautiful, chocolate eyes.

Oh my-

It's him. It's _him_.

My mind narrowly catches him looking back at me. The look of rage in his eyes subsides and changes to concern, the color of of brown changing from a dark, almost black tinge to one that's more golden and soft.

"You okay?" he asks. It's a simple question, but the mere sound of his voice nearly has me melting.

"..." I open my mouth to try and say something back, but nothing comes out. My mind's still racing too fast with what just happened for me to be able to say a word, let alone give him a coherent answer.

I hear him chuckle in my semi-dream state, and he waves his hand in front of my face. "Kyle? You in there? Don't tell me Craig beat you _that_ hard? I thought I got to you quick enough. Kyle?"

"Haah... haba b-ba..."

God, I must look like an idiot right now. I know I definitely sound like one...

He tilts his head to the side, giving me a funny look. "...Kyle?"

"E...Eric..."

There we go. Finally, I manage to say a real word.

I've obviously caught him off guard by saying this because he blinks in surprise. However, he quickly recovers, smiling at me with the softest look in his eyes, relieved that I'm okay.

"I'm back."

Back... he's...

Something inside me just snapped at the mention of that.

Now I simply stand there and stare blankly at him. My demeanor's completely changed now. This creates an ocean of silence between us for a moment before I snarl slightly and do the one thing I've been waiting to do for almost two whole months:

I punch him square on the cheek.

He immediately recoils and brings a hand up to rub the spot gingerly, giving me an angry, confused look. "Ow! What the fuck, Kyle!"

"You idiot!!!" I roar, my fists clenched tightly and shaking against my sides, "What in the _fuck_ were you thinking?! You could have gotten yourself killed!"

He stares at me for a second before regaining his composure and snorting, rolling his eyes. This only serves to irritate me more. "Jesus Christ..." he mutters, "Here we go again with one of your gay little speeches. Why do I always have to get one of these from you? They're so lame..."

"Because I care about you, idiot!" I shout, grabbing his coat collar and pulling him down so we can see eye to eye. I lower my voice as I say my next words. "If something had happened to you out there..." I swallow, feeling a small lump in my throat, "If you had gotten _killed_... I wouldn't... I w-wouldn't have been able to forgive myself." Tears are stinging in my eyes, but I hold them back as best as I can. There's no way in hell I'm going to cry. "I would have been so lost..."

He's stunned for a second, silent as he continues to stare blankly at me. I look away and focus on trying to force the tears back into my eyes, sighing as I wait for his smartass, arrogant answer.

"Kyle..." he says slowly, gently grabbing my hand that's gripping his collar and pulling it away, "I told you not to follow me. I-"

"You expect me to just listen to you like that?!" I interrupt angrily, causing him to back up a bit, "Eric, you were gone for two _fucking_ months! I couldn't just sit back and keep telling myself you were fine!"

He closes his mouth for a moment and allows me to finish, looking up and waiting for an opening so that he can speak. When he sees that he has the floor, he sighs softly, his gaze meeting mine. "Look. How long I was gone shouldn't have mattered. I deliberately told you not to follow me for the sake of-"

"Yes it should have, you dunce!" I cut in again, yanking his collar again and shaking him as violently as I can. "You could have been lying in a ditch somewhere, and no one would have known it because no one had a clue where you were! You were stupid enough to go out on your own, and not give anyone a clue as to where you would be!"

He frowns at this, looking away with a raised eyebrow. "At least I wasn't stupid enough to leave with Butters..." he mutters with a snort.

He did _not_ just say that.

"You did _not_ just say what I think you did..." I ground out through my clenched teeth, ready to punch him again.

He smirks and looks back at me, leaning in close to my face. "I know you're not deaf, Jew. I know you heard me."

I snarl angrily and stomp my foot, turning around so that my back is to him. "This is all your fault anyway, asshole!"

"Eh, my fault?!" he whines, shuffling a bit behind me.

I turn my head back to see him in a slumped state and nod. "That's right. It's _your _fault that my mom started this stupid wristband crap; it's_ your_ fault that I had to run away and find you, not only because I was fucking worried _sick_," at this point I've turned around completely again, and am poking him harshly on the chest, "about you, but because I was getting fucking _death threats_; it's _your _fault that I got in trouble with my mom again because you just _had_ to find me and bring me to the _fucking_ hospital-"

"Hey!" he shouts, interrupting me, "You should be grateful that I _did_ find you, retard! If I didn't bring you and Butters to the hospital, you wouldn't even be here right now! You would probably be dead! I busted my _ass_ to get you two back here and taken care of! I wrapped you both in blankets," he starts to list in his fingers, "Drove at least fifty _fucking_ miles over the speed limit to get you here; moved back and forth in between both of your hospital rooms to make sure you both were okay; stayed up for a whole fucking night listening to you mumble in your sleep because I was so _fucking_ worried about you that I couldn't sleep myself...! Eh-" he sighs harshly, "You should be fucking thankful to me, Kyle! I fucking saved your life for the millionth time!"

Heh. Well, I admire his enthusiasm.

"Cartman, you haven't saved me that many times..." I chuckle softly. He scowls at this, not finding it funny at all. I sigh and bow my head, closing my eyes in defeat. "Okay. I-I'm sorry. I... I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. There's no right for me to point fingers at you when you did that for me. I mean-" I chuckle again, "You could have left us out there for the vultures."

He gasps slightly, soon pushing his hand against my shoulder gently and playfully. "Hey, now. I wouldn't do that." I glance up at him with a confused look on my face, prompting him to continue, "Well, the old me would have done it. Maybe... b-but not now! I wouldn't think of doing that now because I..." he pauses for a second, looking up in thought. "I... um... well..."

"Eric..." I smile softly, placing my hand on his shoulder, "You don't have to explain yourself. I understand."

He stops himself and blushes slightly, blinking several times. "Y-you do?"

I nod. "Yeah. I do. And... thank you for saving me. I... really appreciate it. Really."

He blushes even more, and doesn't help himself from hiding it because he fidgets nervously, purposely avoiding my eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Don't mention it. It's not that big of a deal."

I blink at him, laughing softly after a second. "Eric, it _is_ a big deal." I shake my head. "You said it yourself: if you hadn't saved me, I wouldn't be here."

He sighs and shakes his head in response, staying his ground. "No, seriously. Don't think anything of it."

"But..." I argue back, "You saved my life. I at least owe you something."

"No, no, no!" He groans, waving his hand in front of him and turning his head away with the other hand on his forehead, his eyes closed. "You don't owe me anything. Really, just let it go. I didn't do it to get something in return from you. I just did it because... because I could, okay?"

I'm taken aback for a second. Now that I think about it... this is the first time that I know of that he's done something out of kindness. He did it just for the sake of being a good person. He wasn't looking for some kind of payback; he didn't find something in it for him. He...

Wow. He... really has changed, hasn't he?

"...Fine." I say with a smile, walking by him and patting him on the shoulder. "I don't owe you anything." I keep walking forward, heading back towards the school, "But I still think it's a big deal. It was nice of you to do that. Very nice." I laugh, stuffing my hands in my pockets, "I don't know what I'd do without-"

I suddenly stop and jump as I feel something wrap around my waist, pulling me back against a warm body. I turn my head and to my surprise see Cartman behind me, his head moving to rest on my shoulder.

My heart instantly beats twice as fast, head spinning uncontrollably as his arms wrap securely around my torso. His warmth seeps from him into me, and I almost completely forget that we're still standing out in thirty degree weather. Even though he's lost all that weight that he had back in elementary school and replaced most of it with muscle, he still manages to cover a good portion of my back as he hugs me from behind, protecting me from the cold.

I have no clue why he's hugging me, though.

Not that I'm complaining.

"Eric?" I say quietly, twisting my head around to try and look at him. It's no use because he has his head turned away from me. "What's the matter?"

I don't get an answer for a few moments. He stays dead silent as he hugs me, the two of us standing here in this clearing with snow falling lightly around us. I begin to think that he's fallen asleep on me or something until he finally speaks up.

"...Nothing." he sighs, moving his head a little against my shoulder, his grip on me tightening slightly.

Though he claims it's nothing, I'm not so convinced that's true. I don't choose to push an answer out of him, though. I don't want to risk pissing him off. Besides, it's probably not that important. Maybe he just had the random urge to hug me, and that's it.

Again, it's not like I'm complaining that he's doing this. It's really nice. This is exactly what I've been wishing for. I've been waiting so long for him to hold me like this again. I've missed it so much...

"Don't think anything of me saving you from that asshole Craig, either." he suddenly says, making me jump in his arms slightly. "It was worth it to beat the crap out of him."

I blink and smile, nodding my head. "Okay..."

He sighs, and for a second I think that I've done something wrong by saying that, but he merely shifts his head again, turning it so that I can feel his breath against my neck. I sigh as well, relaxing in his hold, bringing my hands up to rest on top of his arms and closing my eyes.

After another few moments of silence, he speaks up again. "You sure you're okay? He didn't hurt you, did he?"

It takes me a few seconds to realize that he's talking about Craig still. I shake my head in response, looking up and watching the snow fall silently and softly to the ground as I answer him. "No, I'm fine. Don't you know I can hold my own in a fight?" I chuckle.

He chuckles softly back, lifting his head off my shoulder. "I dunno about that. It looked like you were getting your ass beat pretty good back there."

I scoff and hit his arms playfully, rolling my eyes. "What? You were watching me fight all that time, and finally decided to jump in and lend me a hand at the last minute?"

Seriously, the nerve of this guy!

"Hn, only because he was about to fucking kill you." His cheerful tone quickly changes to a sadder, more remorseful one. "I thought you were going to be fine, but when he knocked you down like that... I couldn't just stand back and watch him finish you off..."

Oh. I get it now.

He's concerned about me.

Heh. How sweet...

He's trying not to show it too much, but...

He cares.

"Yeah." I say with a soft laugh, looking down. "He caught me off guard there." I look back up, turning my head to look at him. "Thanks for stepping in. I'm glad you were here to save me, Eric." I feel another lump forming in my throat. "I'm glad that you came back."

He smiles at me, pulling back and patting me softly on the shoulder. "Yeah, yeah. I figured you would be. Should have guessed that you would come after me... idiot..."

If I wasn't about to cry, I would punch him for that. However, all I can manage to do is sigh and try to fight back my tears again. I take in a shaky breath and can't stop myself from letting a short sob out.

"I can't live without you."

The silence after that nearly kills me. I don't know why. That wasn't even something I was planning to say to him. It just... came out of my mouth.

I'm pulled against him again, his hands guiding my head to rest comfortably against his chest. He takes my hat off and runs a hand through my hair, resting his cheek against my head.

"I know you can't..." he says softly, "That's one of the reasons I came back." I can practically feel him grin as he says his next words, "And get this:" He pulls his head away and moves down to look at me. "I'm not leaving again. I'm staying right here with you. So don't pull anymore stupid crap on me, okay? I'm going to take care of you, so don't go out and do anything drastic. I don't wanna have to work any harder than I have to."

I smile at this, shaking my head before I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him down into a hug of my own. The scent of his cologne makes its way into my nose, and I begin to feel a little lightheaded.

"Okay." I chuckle, "I'll try."

"Good." he replies, looking at me with a grin. Suddenly he acts as if he's spotted something, as he tilts his head to the side. "What's that?" he asks, pointing at my neck.

I blink, and look down briefly, realizing what he's talking about. "Ugh." I roll my eyes, my good mood immediately spoiled, "It's a stupid tracker that my mom put on me."

...Uh oh.

...That reminds me. I should... probably be in class right now. Oh boy. Wonder if she'll believe me if I tell her that some deranged psychopath by the name of Craig attacked me and kept me from getting to class on time.

Eric blinks, furrowing his eyebrows. "I'm sorry for saying this, but... your mom's just a flat out, fucking bitch."

I sigh and nod. "Yeah. I know she is. Don't be sorry for saying it. It's true."

It's then that I feel a slight tug at my neck, hearing a snap soon after.

"There." Cartman says, holding the now broken tracker in his hand to show me. "It's off."

I smile at him as he throws it off to the side, looking at him gratefully. "Thank you."

"Welcome." he smiles back, taking my hand and tugging it gently. "Now come on. I know a great place where we can get some coffee. Not to mention the best donuts ever."

I laugh, following him and shaking my head. "You better hope that we don't get caught skipping. I'll be dead meat if my mom finds out."

Hell, I'm probably already dead meat. If she finds out that the tracker's been broken...

Actually... that doesn't even matter. She's going to call in every hour to the school to see if I'm in class. She'll know either way.

"Screw her." Eric says, patting me on the back. "Live your life the way you want to. Don't let her hold you down."

I sigh, crossing my arms against my chest. "Eric, I thought you said you were going to take care of me, not get me in trouble. It's serious this time." I plead, "She's going to call in every hour to the school to make sure I'm there, and if I'm not... well... let's just say that we'll never see each other again."

This gets him thinking for a second. He breathes out a sigh of defeat, slumping his shoulders slightly. "Okay, okay. Fine. We'll go back to school. Not like I have anything else to do... stupid Jew and his bitch of a mom..."

I smile and chuckle despite his grumbling, looking ahead of me as we walk back. This is the first time in awhile that I've laughed so much and felt so happy. Hell, a few years ago I would have threatened to shoot myself if I had known that Cartman made me feel the way I'm feeling now. With all the crap that's been going on lately in my life, it's good to finally have something positive like this happen.

I'm glad he's back.

So glad.

* * *

Was that good? Did that satisfy you? Can you die happy now? Of course, it's not over yet, so there may be more that will give you good reason to die happy.

Anyway, so Eric's back! Cool, right? Ah, but they're not going out yet even though they were hugging and flirting like crazy. That's right. They were so preoccupied with being reunited that they completely forgot about thinking about getting together again. Those silly gooses...

Yeah. So I hope that was a reunion that satisfied your Kyman needs and so much more. Stick along and you'll get all the fluff when they actually do get back together. Good deal, right? Right.

No clue when I'll update next. It's not like it'll be forever, but I definitely don't think that I'll pull another one like tonight. Maybe it'll be... next weekend, possibly Wednesday before the new episode if things go well.

And until then, thank you for reading! Again, I really hope you liked it because I enjoyed writing it. This chapter I actually like. =D

See you guys next time! Love you all~

-Soul


	18. Payback

Hey guys! Another chapter! That's right. I busted my ass to get this out to you. Reason? Because I won't be here this weekend. I have to leave again to go to my grandmother's funeral (yes; she died this afternoon and we have to leave tomorrow to get there). So yeah. I wanted to get this out to you guys before I left so it could hold you over through the weekend. Because I honestly have no idea when I'll be back. Probably Monday, but I'm not sure. Anyway, this chapter was pretty easy to write, so that's another reason I came up with it so fast. Not really up to the standards of last chapter, since that was, like, a breakthrough chapter, but it's okay. I hope you enjoy it just the same.

So here you go! Enjoy!

* * *

Okay. Let me be completely honest here. Even though it _is_ better- so much better- that Eric's back in South Park, things are still going pretty rough for me.

For the millionth time, let me tell you my problems. Please.

All right. So Eric snapped the tracking collar right off my neck after saving me for Craig, right?

Yeah. You can only imagine how well that went over with my mom.

Exactly.

It was third period when I was called out of class and brought out to see none other than my mother waiting for me, crossed arms, angry stare and all.

Yeah. I told you before. You know the look. It's _that _look.

But I thank God that I have a sharp mind. I mean a quick, sharp mind. I managed to convince her that Craig had broken it off in our fight and I had lost it there. Which was partly true at least. It wasn't like I was telling a complete lie. And she had already heard that I had gotten into a fight with Craig, or rather he started one with me, so she totally bought it.

But it didn't buy me out of not having to wear the tracker anymore. Nope. She was kind enough to give me another one.

Ugh.

So I'm still confined to my house and school, and still under her constant watch, even more so now because of Craig.

It's not all bad, though.

Well... maybe I shouldn't say that. It kind of is. But at the same time it's not.

I guess if I tell you what happened, it would make more sense.

See, Craig actually got in trouble for picking a fight with me. First with the school, and then with my mom. Thank goodness some students in a ninth grade classroom saw him confront me and attack me (though why no one came out to help me that very second, I didn't know; I guess Eric just got to me that fast), and that was later backed up by Butters and Jimmy who said they had heard from Craig himself that he wanted to beat the crap out of me.

So he was given a nice detention with Mr. Mackey (which I thought was totally stupid, they should have given him more than that for what he did, even though it was pretty fair that he probably had to sit through a whole bunch of 'm'kays'). My mom also put a tracker on him so that she can keep a close eye on him, too and make sure he stays away from me. Which is good, but it's also bad.

Why?

Well, because that's only going to give him more reason to pick a fight with me. And I have a feeling that the next time we meet up (which I hope will be never), he's not going to hold back on me. He's going to give it his all, and make sure that he does finish me off for good.

I feel sick to my stomach.

"Hey, hey. How's my favorite Jew doing?"

On a brighter note, Kenny was right; Eric's definitely back for good.

And still intent on calling me 'Jew.'

"Please stop calling me that." I say softly to him, closing my locker and zipping my bag up. It's funny. Considering the terrible note we left off on, we're pretty okay with each other now. I can't bring myself to yell or snap at him anymore for calling me Jew like I used to. I'm not sure if it's because I like him so much or because of the fact that...

...well, maybe we've grown that much.

As friends.

...Friends.

Hah, just a few months ago I would have never, ever thought of him as that. But I guess a lot has happened since then.

"Why should I?" he asks with a chuckle, following me as I start to walk down the hallway, "It's true."

Okay, maybe some of us _haven't_ grown that much.

I sigh, turning around and giving him a look. "That still doesn't mean you have to point it out." I turn back around and continue walking, not really caring if he follows me or not.

Of course, he does.

"Aw, come on, don't be such a bitch about it. You know, you really need to get that sand out of-"

His voice gets quieter and quieter as I start to drown him out. At least I'm so used to what he says that I don't have to bother listening. You would think that after all these years he would at least find some new material to throw at me.

I'm beginning to doubt he even likes me that way at all. Considering the way he's treating me now.

But... maybe that's just his way of flirting.

...How flattering.

"Well, if it isn't the Jew who ruined everything."

I immediately stop when I hear this, causing Eric to bump into me and blurt out some obscenity in irritation. This is easily ignored because my attention is completely focused on the owner of that voice; the person who's standing right in front of me, staring me down.

Craig...

"Look, Craig," I start, hoping to get a word in edgewise this time. He can't exactly attack me here in the halls unless he wants to get in big trouble with some of the teachers, "I'm not the one who ruined everything. My mom is the one who-"

"Who changed all the rules and made us wear these," he holds up his wrist to reveal the wristband, "all because you were the one who pushed her to do that. Why did you tell her you were gay if you knew she would do something like this?" he snarls, his body tensing up visibly.

"Look, Craig, I-"

"_He_ wasn't the one who told his mom." Eric interrupts, pushing me aside to stand in between us. "I was. If you wanna pick a fight because of this crap, pick it with me. It's my doing, not his."

Craig merely snorts, a dangerous look on his face as he looks past Eric and at me. "How lovely. You have such an overprotective boyfriend, Kyle. Must be nice."

This time I'm the one to snarl. "We aren't boyfriends, you asshole!" I yell, once again catching the attention of the people around us. Something I've missed oh so much.

I don't even have to mention that was sarcasm, do I?

Craig quickly pushes past Eric and gets right in my face, his eyes glittering with contained rage and loathing. "Don't think your precious boyfriend here can protect you forever. There's going to be a time when he won't be there, and when that time comes..." he leans in and whispers darkly in my ear, "I'm going to get you. So watch out, Kyle. As long as I'm around, you're not sa-"

Suddenly Craig is yanked away and thrown halfway across the hall by Eric, who rushes in front of me and barks, "Stay away from him, you asshole! Or _I'll_ give _you_ something to worry about!"

I gasp softly and look up at Eric, and then over to Craig. He picks himself up off the floor and dusts himself off, turning around to leave. He glances back and gives us a haughty look. "You won't be there to protect him forever, fatass. I'm going to catch him alone one of these days." He then looks straight at me. "And when I do, it's over, Jew boy. Just you wait."

He then turns and walks down the hall and out of sight, and it's then that I breathe a huge sigh of relief. I look back up at Eric and am not shocked hen I see the look of pure rage on his face.

"Stupid asshole Craig..." I hear him mutter, "Thinks he can do whatever he wants..."

From across the hall I can see a clock, which tells me that we only have about two minutes left to get to class. That's something I pay careful attention to, since I still have this stupid tracker on. Sheesh, I swear, it's the most annoy-

I soon feel something at the back of my neck, tugging on the chain that is my tracker. Seconds later I hear a snap, and the sound of something being thrown away. My heart stops in my chest and the blood feels like it's drained from my whole body.

"Eric!" I yelp, running over to the trash can and looking inside. I turn back around to face him, an angry look on my face. "I fucking need that, you idiot, or my mom is gonna-"

He places a finger on my lips and shakes his head, silencing me. "No, you don't." he says simply, pulling his hand back.

What the- Has he lost his fucking mind?!

"Yes, I do! Don't you know how my mom is gonna react when she finds that I broke it again?!"

"Your mom's a bitch." is his simple answer.

What the- He just-

What?

He begins to walk down the hall, leaving me behind to gape stupidly, still in shock of what he just did.

* * *

"Wuh-damn, what did ya do, Kyle? Craig's been eyin' you all day long."

I sigh, looking across the cafeteria at said subject of Butters' question. He looks at me with a dark glare, then smirks in an even darker way. I feel my mouth go dry.

"Nothing, Butters. It's... nothing."

Butters, however, doesn't bother to drop it, like I pretty much implied for him to do in my tone of voice. "Wuh-I'm not... n-not so sure, Kyle. He l-looks pretty sore at you..."

Before I can give him a straighter clue that I want him to just drop it and leave it alone, Eric does it for me.

"Butters, shut the fuck up or I will seriously kill you over and over again. Seriously."

Butters immediately snaps his mouth shut and keeps it there, cowering slightly in fear. This is one of the few times that I'm glad that Eric treats Butters the way he does and intimidates him like that. He can actually get him to obey him like a dog it's master.

As soon as he's done dealing with Butters, he looks back at me for some reason; I'm guessing approval or maybe anticipation of me scolding him for doing that to Butters. I simply nod back to him, mouthing a silent 'thank you' to which he nods back and returns to his sandwich. He's quiet after that.

Stan says something that I don't really bother to hear because it's just small talk to ease some of the tension Eric caused with Butters, and my mind is focused on other things.

Namely Craig.

First I had reason to be wary of him because he was giving me death glares. Now I have even more reason to fear him because he's coming this way right now. And he looks like he's ready to kill.

Oh. Shit.

What in the does he want this time?

Well, besides wanting to kick my ass. That's a given.

Oh...

Wow, I feel stupid. He's just getting up to throw his trash away.

But that doesn't stop him from eying me up and down like a hungry lion ready to go berserk on my zebra ass. And it doesn't stop Eric from noticing this and scooting closer to me and sending Craig a look of his own.

I gulp and look at Stan and Kenny across from me so that I can maybe pretend that Craig really isn't there, and really doesn't want to kill me. Stan of course is oblivious to the whole situation as he talks to Kenny and Butters. Butters has no clue, either. He's too involved in the conversation with Stan. Kenny, however, seems to notice everything (though I would be more surprised if he didn't) and smirks as he catches Eric moving closer to me in an almost protective stance. He lets out a quiet chuckle that Eric misses, being that he's too preoccupied with staring down Craig as he returns to his table, and winks at me, giving a thumbs up.

"You've got a winner there." he says out loud, catching Eric's attention finally. He seems to notice now that he was acting in a rather... protective way as he shakes his head and immediately moves away from me a few inches, adamantly returning to his sandwich.

He's... embarrassed that he caught himself doing that?

"I gotta say, Kyle. A boyfriend and bodyguard all in one? You've got a good eye." Kenny chuckles before taking a quick swig of his water.

Eric and I both stiffen, probably blushing at the same time as we drop what we're doing and gape at Kenny.

"We're not boyfriends!"

"We're not boyfriends, you poor piece of crap!"

Eric and I both look at each other, stunned at what just happened.

Now that was freaky. What are we, twins now?

Stan and Butters both look up at our outburst while Kenny nearly spits out his water and busts out laughing. He slams his fist on the table, making Butters jump, Stan raise an eyebrow, and Eric and I grind out teeth together and let out a growl. Again, at pretty much the exact same time. And this in turn make Kenny laugh even harder, bringing him to a point where he's practically crying and gasping for air.

"Aw, man hahahaha! You two are- hahaha- you two are too funny!" he belts out, wiping some tears from his eyes, "You're like twins!" Yeah, I already covered that, Ken, shut up. "You sure you're not back together yet? Because you two are- hahaha! You two are," he takes a breath and swallows, "Are great together!"

Thank god the bell chooses to ring at that second to dismiss lunch because I'm about ready to punch Kenny's lights out, and I know for a fact that Eric is close to doing so, too.

I jump up and quickly walk out of the cafeteria, not bothering to wait for anyone. I just want to get the hell out of there and to my next class, and for multiple reasons, too. Getting away from Craig, getting away from Kenny, and making extra, extra sure that I get to class on time. After all, I don't want mom piling even more study sessions on me. I have enough as it is.

I'm not alone for long, though. Eric shows up right by my side, an unreadable look on his face. I don't know, maybe it's almost pensive, but I can't really tell. I frown and look away from him, and keep walking, speeding up my pace. It's not that I'm mad at him, I just don't want Kenny following us and calling one of us out for something like he did at the lunch table.

That was embarrassing.

I can't seem to lose him, though. Probably because he has a few inches on me, and therefore longer legs. I try to walk faster and lose him in the crowd of students pouring out of the cafeteria, but it's no use. He catches up again in a second, staying right by my right side.

Goddammit... can't he take the freaking hint?!

"Eric..." I say to him through clenched teeth, looking all around me for any signs of Kenny or Craig, "Do you mind?"

He blinks, like he's just getting out of a trance or something, the determined look on his face being wiped off completely and replace with a confused one. "Huh?"

"Aw, isn't that just sweet?" I hear Kenny coo from behind us. I slap a hand to my forehead, groaning quietly. "Fatass is looking out for poor little Kyle."

Cartman snarls and spins around, grabbing Kenny by his jacket and shaking him. "Shut the fuck up, you ghetto asshole! I am not looking out for that stupid Jew!"

...Well, there's the old Cartman. I'm still just a stupid Jew, and Kenny's still a ghetto asshole.

And here I was thinking he had changed.

Kenny merely smirks and shakes his head, chuckling a little. "You are so fucking blind it's not even funny. Just admit that you like him and get over it."

Cartman growls and brings Kenny closer to his face in an effort to intimidate him. I know. He's done it to me plenty of times. I don't think he'll be scaring Kenny anytime soon, though. Not even death can get to that kid.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!!!" he yells, looking about ready to slam Kenny against the wall and beat the crap out of him.

...What is with the guys here being so fucking violent?

"You're such a kid." Kenny rolls his eyes, not fazed by Cartman's anger. "You'll never get it through that think skull of yours, will you?"

"I don't need your help." he says darkly, pushing Kenny away harshly.

Kenny brushes himself off, cracking his neck and rubbing it briefly. "That's not what you said when you came running to me about this two months ago."

Kenny's freedom from Eric's grasp is short lived because he lunges forward and grabs him again, this time actually slamming him into the wall. Again, what is with the freaking violence?!

"Don t you dare, dare mention that, you asshole." he breathes, his voice dripping with that same venom he always had in his tone with me. "Unless you want to fucking die." He leans in closer to Kenny's face as he says this.

I have a bad feeling that this is going to end... not so nicely.

"Oh my, I'm so scared." Kenny scoffs, rolling his eyes again. "Come on, it's not like I've never died before in my life, idiot."

"That. Is it!" Cartman roars, raising his fist up.

Maybe I should just go now while I have the chance. The halls are clear of any crowd to hide in, but they aren't really paying attention to me to notice me slipping away. Besides, I really need to make sure I'm in class.

As Kenny and Cartman continue their bickering, I slowly inch my way down the hall, trying to be as subtle and invisible as I can be.

Almost to a turn in the hall... if I can make it that far, and round the corner... I'll be home free.

So far, so good...

"Dude, you've been at his fucking side all day long!" I hear Kenny say, "Don't tell me that you're not-"

"Shut the fuck up!" Cartman barks back in interruption.

Finally, I make it to the corner. Taking my time, I look around to the other part of the hallway, and am relieved to find that there's still a good number of people still congregating there.

Maybe I can lose these two and get to class without any other distractions. As much as I love to watch my daily fights and all, I can't really take the chance now.

I can still hear Cartman and Kenny behind me as I slip around the corner and relax.

"...ust suck it up and admit that you're secretly looking out for him!"

"Fuck you! What do you know?!"

A short laugh, then, "Everything, numbskull."

"Arrrgh!!!"

I can't help but smile and chuckle at this as I walk down the hall normally, blending myself into the crowd of people. That was Eric's mistake completely. He should know how much of a smart ass Kenny is. He's a smart ass himself, so it seems only fair that he's getting a taste of his own medicine.

Walking into the classroom, I breathe another sigh of relief, quickly walking over an taking my seat. I look up at the clock and smile. Looks like I got here with a few minutes to spare. Thank goodness my sense of time isn't completely shot. I've been so screwed up with time lately that I was getting worried that I've lost my uncanny knack of being prompt altogether.

Now that the time issue is out of the way, I can focus on the other issue at hand.

Craig.

Yeah, that's right. I... kind of forgot that he has this class with me. Guess it slipped my mind when I was trying to leave the lunchroom. The whole thing with Kenny sorta threw me off there.

But thank goodness that I'm not alone. This slipped my mind as well, but Eric's in this class with me, too. He walks in the room a few seconds later with a scowl on his face. He takes his seat next to me and says nothing, clearly telling me from just this that he didn't settle things with Kenny.

"Did Kenny punch you?" I ask, just now noticing the red mark on his face.

He jumps as I say this to him, catching himself spacing out. Turning his head away abruptly, he grumbles, "No." he denies, even though that's clearly a lie. "He didn't."

I sigh, deciding that I shouldn't push the matter any further and risk him getting in an even worse mood than he's already is. The teacher begins writing something on the board, and I focus my attention on that, pulling out my notebook and copying the notes down.

Before I can write two words down, a note is thrown- or rather placed- onto my desk. I look up at Eric who looks back at me, waving his hand like he wants me to open the note and read it. Rolling my eyes, I pick the note up and unfold it, scanning my eyes over the page. It's short, sweet, and to the point:

_Bathroom. Now._

I blink and tilt my head. Bathroom? What in the hell does he want?

Picking up my pen, I write a quick note back and place it on his desk while the teacher's back is still turned:

_Fine. But if my mom finds out about this, you're paying for it._

He reads the note over quickly and gives me a quick nod, yanking me out of my seat and pulling me towards the door. My heart nearly stops in my chest as he does this.

What in the fuck is he thinking?! Does he seriously think that we're not going to get noticed?!!

He looks back quickly at the teacher and opens the door when he sees that his back is still turned. Amazingly, he does it really quietly, making extra sure that he doesn't catch the teacher's attention. As soon as he has the door open, he pushes me out and quickly follows, closing the door just as silently.

Aw, what was I thinking? This is Eric Cartman. The guy who's been sneaking out of class for years and has only been caught once. And that was only because he bumped into the fire alarm and set it off (which was very hilarious by the way; I laughed my ass off at that). I shouldn't have doubted his skills of sneaking out of class. He's had tons of practice at it, that's for sure.

"Come on," he urges, pulling me by the wrist again. I have no choice but to follow, stumbling at first as I try to find my footing and keep up with his quick pace at the same time. We go into the first bathroom he sees, and it's conveniently empty.

It's then that he finally decides to let go of my wrist, sighing and leaning against the wall. I don't have to wait long for him to speak; he gets right to his point.

"Craig's seriously out to get you, isn't he?" he asks, looking at me with that same unreadable expression.

I nod my head, looking down at the ground as I rub my wrist subconsciously. "Yeah. He is."

I hear him sigh and move, pushing himself off the wall. Since I've become so interested in the pattern of tile on the floor, I don't notice him reaching out for me until I feel his hand land on my shoulder. I jump a little and look back up at his face, which is still pretty much unreadable.

"...Goddammit." he mutters, pulling away from me after a few seconds. He walks out of the bathroom, leaving me alone to wonder what in the hell that was all about.

What the...? What in the hell is wrong with him? Something's gotten into him. I don't know what, but ti's something.

I shake my head and walk to the door of the bathroom a few minutes later. As much as I'd love to stand here and ponder what in the heck has Cartman acting like... well, like he's been acting all day, I have to get back to class. Hopefully the teacher hasn't noticed that I left. If he did, well... there's nothing I can do about it. I can just say I... needed to vomit. Yeah, that works. It's not like anyone will call me out for it. Hell, half of them probably didn't even notice that I was gone.

I walk back into the classroom without any problem of being spotted. I take special care to open and close the door as quietly as Eric did just minutes before. The classroom is now dark since there's a video playing on the television in the front of the room, and I breathe another sigh of relief. Safe for now.

As I take my seat silently, thankful for the fact that the teacher is sitting bored at the front desk reading a book as the video plays, I notice that Eric's not even in here.

Huh. He... must have left for somewhere else when he walked out of the bathroom. Wonder why he walked out like that? He seemed... pissed off. I don't know if it was at me or what... It was definitely at the whole situation, but knowing him he could be mad at me for causing him so much trouble. Since he seems so adamant about trying to protect me and all. Like Kenny said back there, he's been by my side for practically the whole day. And it seems like every time that Craig even looks at me, he immediately goes on the defensive.

Maybe he's getting sick of trying to go to the lengths of keeping me safe.

Well, he can get annoyed all he wants, but I have no part in it. It's not like I ever asked him to be my personal escort, as rude as that sounds. He can get as ticked off as he wants, but I'm not going to have any part in it when he blames it all on me. I don't care if he does or not.

As long as he doesn't do anything stupid.

* * *

Eleven o'clock at night.

Eleven o'clock at freaking night, and I wake up to the sound of something hitting my window.

Stupid tree branches. Those really need to be cut back.

Thunk.

I close my eyes and try to drown out the sound by counting sheep, but that doesn't seem to work. Really it never works.

Thunk.

Huh. Now that I think about it... that sounds like something harder that just a tree branch brushing up against my window. In fact, it sounds like... rocks.

Rocks. Hitting my window.

Someone's out there.

Oh God...

I hope it isn't Craig.

...He's not that dedicated to getting at me, is he? Is he?

I hope not.

I manage to drag myself out to bed after convincing myself that I've had a good life, and approach my window. Pulling the curtains aside, I figure that I can peek out and try to see just who exactly is out there before I actually open the window. That way, if it is Craig, I at least won't be giving him an open place for him to get me.

I glance out my closed window down at the ground, and am surprised to see who's standing down there. I quickly unlatch the lock on the window and pull it open, poking my head outside.

"Eric?" I ask, looking down at him, "What are you doing here?"

He looks up with a small grin on his face. "I came to get you out of here, Jew. Before things get any worse."

What?

"What?" I say, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion. He's not serious, is he?

He rolls his eyes and points behind him urgently. "We're leaving, Jew. Get down here, now."

Looking farther out I see his car behind him, clearly still running from the hot column of air coming out of the exhaust and disappearing into the air.

Oh my gosh, he's serious.

I'm down the stairs in a second, opening the front door and closing it carefully behind me so as not to wake my parents. "Eric, what in the hell-"

As soon as I walk up to him, he yanks me away like earlier today, pacing quickly to his car and shoving me in. He closes the door and walks around to the other side, climbing in the driver's seat and putting the car into gear. We start moving in a second, heading down the road to who knows where.

I just... I just got kidnapped, didn't I?

I mean... I know it's Eric and all, and it doesn't really count as that, but still.

What in the fuck?

"Eric, what-"

"We're fucking going to Denver before that asshole kills you, so that you don't fucking die and I won't feel fucking guilty when you do because I should have done something in the first place, Jew!" he interrupts, stopping abruptly at a stop sign, giving me a quick glance. He looks back at the road, and seeing no one coming, pulls out and continues driving down the street.

"Denver?!" I shout, looking at him in shock. I can't go to fucking Denver! My mom will fucking kill me! "Why?!"

I almost fly through the windshield as he slams on the brakes, turning to give me a very irritated look. "Do I have to tell you again?!" he barks, pounding his fist on the steering wheel. "We are fucking getting out of this crappy town full of hippies and assholes because you're about to get fucking killed and if I don't fucking do something about it and you end up dead, I will never be able to forgive myself, do you get it now, Jew?!"

After that he pants slightly, staring at me and waiting for an answer. I blink and open my mouth a few times, closing it when I realize this is one of those moments when I'm left completely speechless.

I mean, what do I say to that? I know that I can't leave South Park because my mom will have my head if I do, but I don't want to shoot Eric down because he's really doing a nice thing here. Really nice, considering him. He would never do something like this. I'm surprised. And flattered. I would have never expected him to do something like this.

"Eric..." I say softly, looking at the dashboard, "This is nice of you and all, but... I can't go to Denver." I look back at him, chuckling a little. "My mom will fucking kill me."

He simply shakes his head and starts driving again, clearly ignoring my wish. "Screw you and screw your mom. I do whatever I want. And what I want," he gives me a quick, knowing glance, "Is to get you out of here and somewhere safe. So shut the fuck up and just roll with it."

Does he not understand how serious this is?! Not only is this potentially dangerous, but I can't. Fucking. Leave.

What will it take for him to understand?!

"Eric, I'm serious!" I protest, "If my mom finds out that you're taking me to Denver, this will all be over! She'll make it so we'll probably never see each other again because of the bad influence you are!" This line seems to catch his attention. Maybe if I bring up... "She'll move us back out to San Francisco or somewhere else, and you'll end up having to come save me again like you did before!"

Bingo.

He stiffens visibly, but doesn't stop driving. That's okay, though. I think I have him hooked. Just a little more, and maybe I can get him to turn around and take me back. He looks away to his left, staying silent.

"And keep your eyes on the road!" I bark, reaching for the steering wheel.

"My eyes are on the road, Jew!" he snaps back, his head still turned to the side, "They're just not on the road in front of me."

No he didn't. Oh. No. He. Didn't.

I sigh and slump down in my seat, crossing my arms across my chest and looking out at the night sky through the car window.

"Fine. Be a smart ass about it. But don't some crying to me when we're both in the hospital because of your carelessness because I probably won't be conscious to answer you if you get us in a wreck. And don't come crying when I wind up dead because you got us in a wreck, either. I definitely won't repl-"

"OKAY, FINE." he says quite loudly, making a sharp turn into an empty parking lot, "I'M TURNING AROUND NOW. Are you fucking happy?!"

I smile triumphantly and look at him, his face plastered with an angry look. "Yeah." I nod. "Yeah, I'm happy."

He clenches his fists around the steering wheel and says nothing, driving at least twenty miles over the speed limit now.

I really hope we don't crash. Please, God... Please.

A few seconds of silence has me squirming uncomfortably in my seat, and I can't help but feel that I've really pissed him off this time. I mean, the aggressive driving is a clue, but he's an aggressive driver anyway. He's driving a freaking Mustang, of course he's going to be rough about it.

I decide to speak up and try to make him feel better. If anything it'll kill the silence whether it ends up with him yelling at me again or not. "Eric, I didn't mean to piss you off. It's just that I've told you so many times, and you still won't listen. I-"

"No," he says suddenly, interrupting me, "Don't... don't apologize. I get it now. You don't have to tell me."

Shutting my mouth, I look at him in shock and blink a few times. Now that was different. Did what I say to him hit him that hard? Guess so. Otherwise, he wouldn't be acting this way.

"Eric, are you-"

"You're staying at my house."

He interrupts me again, causing me to shake my head and blink again. "What?"

"Are you fucking deaf?!" he snaps, looking at me angrily. When he realizes that he snapped at me, he immediately softens and focuses his eyes back on the road. "I said you're staying at my place tonight. And I don't care what you say. I'll drag you in, tie you up, and lock you in a room if I have to."

Geez... he's really pushing this whole running away from home thing, isn't he? But I guess it's expected of him. He's always been a rebel.

Still, I can't do it.

As much as I'd love to have him tie me up and lock me-

Nonononono! Don't think that!

Bad thoughts, bad thoughts!

Goddammit...

"But, Eric..." I protest, pointing at my neck. Yet another tracker is laced around my neck. I swear mom has an unlimited supply of them. "I can't do that, either. If my mom-"

"Would you fucking stop it with that?!" he says, pulling up in his driveway and putting the car in park. He turns the engine off and pulls the key out, turning to look at me. "Just pull the damned thing off and quit your bitching!"

...Pull it off? But I've tried it before and failed miserably. I don't understand how he even manages to do it.

"I can't do it." I say, glaring back at him. "Unlike you, I don't have the freaking muscles and strength of the Hulk."

He huffs and rolls his eyes, reaching his hands out and grabbing the chain. "Jesus Christ... you're such a fucking pussy." I'm about the punch him for that when the chain snap is heard, and he pulls back with the tracker in his hand. He opens to car door and throws it out on the ground, getting out of the car and walking up the driveway. "Come on. Get inside before you freeze to death."

Holy crap. Freeze is right. I didn't notice before because I was too busy being dragged away against my will, but it is fucking cold out. I get out of the car and walk up the driveway, rubbing my arms to retain some kind of warmth. Eric is already standing at the doorway holding the door open, his breath coming out in little white puffs.

I trot up the steps and get into his house as quickly as I can, more than thankful for the warmth. He closes the door behind me, walking past me and patting my back softly.

"I'm sure you did this before when you stayed over, but make yourself at home. I restocked the fridge since you raided it like the greedy Jew you are. And I already made up the couch for you to sleep on since I figured you would bitch about going to Denver."

I'm about to kick his ass for making that Jew comment, but I decide against it when he turns and smiles at me, giving me the impression that it was just a lighthearted joke. As lighthearted as Cartman can get. Besides, he said he made a bed for me, which I can clearly see from here. I see the couch and, sure enough, it's set out as a bed, blankets and all.

I nod absentmindedly, smirking back at him. "Yeah, sorry about that. Guess I should make it up to you, huh? For all that you're doing for me?"

He simply chuckles and turns around, starting his trek up the stairs, probably to go back to his room and sleep. Taking one last look back at me, he shakes his head and smiles. "No. Don't do that. You're going through enough as it is. I'm just trying to give you a break, since you obviously need it." He turns around and heads up the rest of the stairs, and my heart flutters slightly in my chest. I hear him say one last thing before he disappears into his room to rest for the night.

"You don't owe me anything."

* * *

There you have it! Fun stuff, right? You didn't really think that Cartman would take Kyle to Denver, did you?

Yeah, he probably would have. If Kyle hadn't complained...

XD

Yeah. I don't really have that much to say here. I have to get to sleep so that I can maybe stay awake in my classes tomorrow before we leave. So I'll see you guys later! And just a few more chapters to go. I think it's only going to be 21 now. I kind of had a plan for 16, but I'm going to just post that as a separate story. It about Kyle's and Butters' roadtrip, so if you're wondering what's happening there, don't worry. You'll get the answers. I'll post it after this is done and finished. Yeah. I may go into more detail about that later. I'm pressed for time right now.

But like I said, thinking about 21 chapters now. So this is 18... only three more to go! Amazing, right? Yeah. Don't forget, I'm still going to have Cartman's POV of this story, so it's not like it'll be over for good. It'll really be almost like a whole new story! =D

That's all I have to say for now. Tell me what you think! Did you like it, not, wish there was something else in here? Maybe something you'd like to see next chapter? I love your feedback! It really helps.

See you guys soon! Love ya!

-Soul


	19. Second Chance

'Sup guys? I know it's been a long time since I've updated. Sorry about that. Not only have I been extremely busy, but I kinda got into a slump for a little while. But I'm back. And with I think the longest chapter yet. I'm not really going to bore you guys with what I have to say; I'm just going to go ahead and let you get into it. My lazy, tired eyes read over this, so if there are any mistakes, I apologize in advance.

Enjoy! It's more of a light hearted one. ;)

* * *

"Hey, wake up. Lazy ass Jew..."

There's only one person who would call me that. I blink my eyes open to glare at him, prepared to punch his lights out if I need to. Yeah, I've been a little lenient about him calling me that, but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to give him a piece of my mind if he happens to go too far.

At first, he says nothing. He just stares down at me, like he's expecting me to do something. Like get up. Psh. Yeah right. Like I'm going to do that when I'm perfectly comfortable here. If he thinks I'm going to get up just because he orders me to, he's gonna have to think again.

I close my eyes again, snuggling back into the covers. I'm about to doze off again when those precious covers are ripped from my body, causing my eyes to snap open again. The cold air of the room hits me like a slap to the face, and my arms instantly clamp around my body to retain some warmth.

"You asshole!" I bark, glaring even harder at him, "Give those back, it's fucking cold!"

Shaking his head, he drags the comforter along with him to the closet, throwing it in still wadded up. Not the most organized person in the world...

"No way. You've been sleeping way too long. It's about time you got up, and taking your 'bed' away from you seemed to be the best option."

"There's a thing called gently nudging someone awake, retard." I scowl, sitting up on the couch and looking at him with my arms still hugging my shivering body. "I'm not that heavy of a sleeper. You could have just touched my shoulder, and I would have woken up."

He laughs, walking back over to flop on the couch next to me, turning on the television. "Please. With as loud as you were snoring? I don't think an earthquake would have woken you up."

I roll my eyes, shifting my legs to kick him in the side. "Very funny. I don't snore, you son of a bitch. And why were you so eager to get me up anyway? I don't sleep late; you could have just waited, you impatient bastard. I mean, it's only," I glance at a clock on the wall to get the time.

…

What?!

One in the afternoon?!

No. No no no. That can't be right, I never sleep this late-

Of course, last time I checked, it's not light out at one in the morning.

I can just feel Eric smirking at me, taking great pleasure in my sudden shocked silence.

"Only what, my dear Jew?" His tone is dripping with that smirk, too. Cocky bastard. "One o'clock? Oh why, yes, that's not late at all."

"Shut up!" I snap back at him, hoping that I can save the little bit of dignity I have left, "Grr, this is all your fault anyway!"

He's taken aback, but I can tell that it's mostly fake. "My fault?" he says in a mockery of a hurt voice, "I save you from that tyrant you call a mother, and offer you a nice shelter for you to stay at because you're too scared to actually run away from said tyrant, and this is how you thank me?"

Well, I can't exactly say that he said that part sarcastically.

I sigh, looking away from him in slight defeat.

He's right. What he did was... really nice. I mean, he could have made it a lot worse for me, you know? He didn't even have to come and get me like he did last night. I'm surprised that he even did something like that. It's not everyday that Eric Cartman, Eric _Theodore_Cartman, actually thinks of doing something for me in a way other than trying to make my life hell.

And that's really strange.

Still, I'm not really complaining. I'm glad to be away from my house for once. No doubt that he was dead on when he called my mother a tyr-

…

Oh fuck.

Oh no. My mother...

Crap. What in the _hell _was I thinking when I went with him last night? Was I going nuts? Apparently so. Either that or he drugged me somehow, but I don't really see how that's possible.

Well, whatever. The point is that I never should have left. Mom's probably on a tirade or something right now, since I'm pretty sure that she knows by now that I'm gone.

Ugh, shit. It wouldn't be so bad if Eric hadn't broken that stupid tracker of hers. She would at least know where I am.

...Okay, maybe that's not such a bad thing after all. Otherwise, she would have already busted through the door, demanding where in the world her 'bubbe' was. And when she found me, I would have been in a whole heap of trouble. A huge heap. Like, a heap larger than the entire state of Colorado.

Yeah, it's that bad.

Oh god... what do I do now? Should I go back home and risk the punishment that I'm already going to get when my mother sets eyes on me, or do I wait it out and let her anger, fear, and panic accumulate to epic proportions?

…

Guess the best option is to just go now. I don't really want to have to deal with her rage after it's built up after a few days. That would be the stupid thing to do.

And God knows I don't want to do anything else stupid.

Without a word, I get up to leave, but I'm soon stopped by a hand clamping down on my wrist. I look down behind me to see Eric looking at me in confusion.

"Where are you going?" he asks rather calmly.

I blink once and give him a simple answer. "I'm going home. My mom's probably freaking out wondering where I am right now, and I want to get back before her panic gets out of hand, and she ends up locking me away for five years."

...Okay, maybe that wasn't the simplest answer. But it got the point across, right?

He frowns and shakes his head, pulling me back down on the couch with ease. "No, you're not." he answers back simply.

"Eric," I growl, yanking my wrist out of his gentle grasp, "I know you still don't get it, but this is serious. I need to get home before my mom kills me. Literally."

"Don't worry about it," he argues back, "I'll take care of it." He pats my leg, getting up and heading into the kitchen, "You just rest and relax. Seriously, you need it. You look like you've been run over about seven times, then beaten over the head with a baseball bat."

I'm silent for a few seconds, choosing to give him a long, blank stare though the effect is basically lost because his back is turned to me as he walks across the room.

...Do I really look that terrible? I haven't really looked at myself lately in a criticizing way, so I wouldn't know, but seriously? Has all of this in the past week really taken a toll on me? Hell, the past couple of months even?

Maybe so. I haven't slowed down on anything since before all of this happened; my mind's always been moving a million miles an hour. Perhaps I've been too occupied (_way_ too occupied) to even notice that maybe... I'm not doing the best for my health. That would explain why I slept so late. I haven't really been able to catch a decent night's sleep in the longest time because too much has been on my mind. I haven't really been relaxed enough to go into a deep sleep.

Dammit, he's right again.

Well, at least someone's looking out for my best interest. It just shocks me that it's _him_ doing this. The sad part is that he's acting more like a mother than my mom is.

...No.

I did not just think of Cartman as a mother figure.

Man, maybe I DO need some rest.

But... I can't deny that it's true because it is. He really is acting more like a mom than my own mother. I mean, telling me I need to rest; looking out for me in the worst of times; practically protecting me?

What, you want proof? Okay here's some right here:

"Here, I made you a sandwich. You better eat it, too; food's important. And if you refuse, I won't hesitate to shove it down your throat."

There you go.

Yeah, so the whole 'I'm going to shove it down your throat if you don't eat it' isn't exactly motherly, but you can only expect so much from Cartman. My point is that he actually went out of his way and _made_ the sandwich, not for himself, but for me. _Me_. Kyle Broflovski, the dumb daywalker Jew that he's ripped on his whole life, and threatened at gunpoint, knife point, and any other kind of weapon he can find to point at me multiple times.

"Thank you...?" I say, the response sounding more like a question than anything. You can't blame me for having it sound like that. You never want anything shoved down your throat by Cartman's hands, whether it's food or a chainsaw. Seriously, it's pretty damn intimidating.

To my surprise, he gives me a bright smile and nods in return, sitting back down next to me and focusing his eyes on the television. I look at him warily as I take the first bite of my sandwich, both waiting to see if he pulls a fast one on me, and if what poison he put into the sandwich starts taking its effect on me.

"What's the matter?" I hear him ask as he turns and gives me a funny look. He must have noticed me staring at him.

Guess I could have been a little bit more subtle there. Oh well.

He soon sighs and rolls his eyes, turning his attention back to the television. "If you think that I wasted my time putting some kind of deadly substance in that sandwich, think again."

I pause for a second, giving him another wary look, but this time for a different reason. "You know me too well..." I say slowly, taking another bite. Another few seconds of silence passes before I voice a question I've been meaning to ask him since I got up. "Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden?"

He isn't quick to answer, but I was expecting that anyway. After all, this is a weird thing that's going on here, and even he may not have the answer.

"...Because..." he starts in a slow, thoughtful manner before giving me a slight smirk, "I have nothing else to do."

…

Okay, wow. Just...

Jesus Christ, if he's going to give me a stupid answer like that, then he shouldn't have answered at all!

"Dude, can't you be serious for once?!" I growl, setting my plate down angrily on the table.

He looks back at me with a frown on his face and sighs quietly. "Don't call me 'dude,'" he mutters, looking once again at the TV. "Call me 'Eric.'"

Whoa. Did he just... tell me to call him 'Eric'?

Wow. This is new.

…

Something's gotten into him. Something's made him change in some way, and I'm going to find out what it is. Even of it kills me.

"Okay... Eric..." I say cautiously, still looking at him in a funny way (seriously, this guy keeps throwing me all of these curve balls, it's hard to give him a straight face), "Look, can you just give me an answer? A serious one. I'll ask you again. Why are you acting so nice to me all of a sudden? Why are you doing all of this for me? Did something happen that changed your mind," I notice that here he stiffens, "or what?"

Quickly after I finish, he shakes his head almost like he's trying to deny something and says, "No, no. Nothing happened. I'm just doing this because," he takes a short pause as if he's trying to think of something to say, "Because I know you're having it hard right now. And I... just want to help you out. Since that hippie Stan or that poor ass Kenny aren't doing much to help you."

My answer to this is quick; I don't miss a beat at all. "You never help me."

I've stunned him into silence by saying this. It's easy to tell that he's trying to make a comeback after that comment, but he doesn't come up with anything at all. I take this chance to speak so I can try and drag the truth out of him.

"Eric, you're hiding something. I can tell."

"No I'm not." he argues back, making a move to get up. However, I grab his wrist and pull him back down, looking him straight in the eye.

"Yes, you are." I say more firmly, "Now tell me what happened. I know you left here to go find your mother. Did you actually find her?"

He clamps his mouth shut for a second, looking away to avoid my eye. I don't try to prod him into speaking because I figure that'll only make things worse. A few seconds pass and he gives a short sigh, nodding slowly.

"Yeah. I did." he says quietly.

And that's all he has to say for that moment. That's okay. I can work with that. It sounds like there's more to it than that, though. At least, he's acting that way. I'm itching to put my hand on his shoulder or something to give him a little comfort, but I figure that I should wait to do that. It may ruin my chances of getting an answer if I do it too soon.

"Eric," I address him quietly, "You kind of made that sound like you weren't so happy to find her. Did something go wrong?"

One step at a time.

Another second or so of silence falls in between us before he gives me a answer. It's another simple nod with a, "Yeah. Sort of."

Okay. There's two things I can do here. Either I leave him alone and don't press the issue any further, or I go ahead with the questioning and try to get the full story. If I do the latter, I may piss him off. Then again, I'm feeling pretty damn selfish right now, and if I don't get the full scoop it's only going to eat at me for the rest of the day.

"What went wrong exactly?" I ask carefully, willing myself to not comfort him yet. It's still not the right time. If anything, it's the absolute worst time to do it.

The silence here nearly kills me because I'm afraid that I've shoved him into not speaking at all. Though I suppose that if I had offended him, he would have already gotten up and stalked off into another part of the house, so I think I'm good there. As long as I don't make him mad, I'll be good.

Again he sighs, more like a huff, looking away defiantly. "Fine. I found her in some hotel in Denver with some guy that she claims she's going to get married to this summer, are you happy now?"

I blink several times, barely registering that he's gotten up from the couch rather angrily and is stalking off, and that it's going to be a bad idea for me to follow him and get him to explain. Of course, I do this anyway.

"Wait, what?" I ask with a look of confusion on my face as I trail behind him back into the kitchen.

He practically storms over to the refrigerator, opening the door and yanking a drink out. He shuts the door quickly and walks right back past me without a word, taking a sip from his drink. I quickly reach out and grab him by the arm again before he can get out of my reach.

"Eric!" I bark, hopefully getting his attention, or at least some of it. He cringes slightly; a good sign. "Will you please calm down? Run that by me again."

A low growl emits from his throat, but I'm far from scared. It's all for show. "And why do you care? It's none of your business." he says simply, his back turned to me.

"Because I want to know why you left for two fucking months, and why in the hell you're acting so goddamned nice to me all of a sudden! This isn't you! Something's made you change, and I want to know what it is!"

I'm a nosy son of a bitch and I want my way; but I don't tell him that.

More silence, and he yanks his arm out of my grasp, returning to the couch and flopping down on it. No answer comes from his mouth at all after that.

Looks like I'm going to have to change my strategy here. Screw trying to avoid pissing him off now. I'll ask him whatever the hell I want now. Hell, I'll probably have a better chance of getting an answer out of him if I make him mad because he'll start blurting things out regardless of whether he wants to say them or not. He never really got that speech problem fixed back when he was faking Tourette's anyway.

And I have the perfect subject to bring up.

"Okay, fine. If you're going to be such an asshole about giving me a straight answer to that," I say bitterly, advancing towards him slowly, "I'll just ask you something else." I pause for a second, stopping beside the couch, crossing my arms as I look down at him.

A few seconds pass before I get just what I wanted from him. His attention. He looks up at me, partly curious, probably wondering why I suddenly stopped without asking my question. Perfect. Exactly why I took that pause. Now I can get the question by him and see his real reaction to it.

"Is it true that you saved me and my family from the smug storm in San Francisco?"

He immediately freezes, crackles the soda can in his fist, and gives me a dark look.

"Who told you that?" he snarls, his eyes flashing dangerously.

"I'm the one who asked first, Cartman." I warn him, hoping that I can calm him down in some way. I'm not giving him the chance to go slaughter Butters if I can help it. "Answer my question before you go asking your own. Is it true or not?"

His face softens a little as he looks away, clearly troubled that I've asked the question. My patience falls short, and I grab the collar of his shirt, forcing him to look back at me. "Well?!"

"Let go of me." he growls, though it's only halfhearted.

"Answer my fucking question and I will!" I shout, shaking him a little.

The anger returns back to his face in an instant, and he grabs my wrist in a tight grip, trying to yank my hand away from his shirt. "You're stupid to think I'll ever tell you the truth about that! Let it go, Jew!"

"Don't call me a Jew, you son of a bitch!"

"Oh, so you're allowed to call me that, but I'm not allowed to call you a Jew?!"

"No, because what I called you is actually true!!!"

"What I called you is totally true, too, retard!"

"SHUT UP!!!"

"YOU SHUT UP! YOU'RE THE ONE SCREAMING!!!"

"YOU'RE SCREAMING, TOO, DUMBASS!"

I punch him on the shoulder, hard.

He punches me back, probably hard enough to leave a bruise. "GOD, I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!"

I kick him this time on the leg, about to aim for someplace that'll hurt a hell of a lot worse. "I CAN'T FUCKING STAND YOU SOMETIMES! YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT!"

We're soon rolling around on the floor, wrapped up in a fist fight.

"You're a stupid Jew!"

"I said don't call me that!!!"

"It's true, stupid!"

He pushes me forcefully, knocking me against the wall, panting to catch his breath. I do the same, rubbing the back of my head.

"I can't believe I'm in fucking love with you." I snarl, narrowing my eyes at him.

At this, he freezes again, falling dead silent. I stare at him for a few more seconds before I get up, brush myself off, and head for the door. Seriously, this is fucking ridiculous. If he's going to be an ass about it all, I'm not wasting my time.

...

"I wouldn't go out there if I were you." I hear his soft voice speak behind me as I open the door. "It's cold."

I scowl and look down at the steps in front of me, realizing that there's not only snow littering the ground and driveway, but I don't have any shoes on. Shutting the door forcefully, I turn around to face him angrily. My face softens when I look at him, however. Something in his expression is telling that he didn't want me to go in the first place, even though he didn't say it outright. I sigh and walk back over to him in defeat, stopping just a few steps in front of him.

"It... it's true." he says softly, causing me to look up him, "I... did save you back then."

I blink again several times, speechless for a few seconds. When I finally realize what he's referring to, I smile a small smile, happy that I'm finally getting somewhere with him.

Let's try this again.

"You did, huh...?" I say in a soft voice as well, looking away for a second with a chuckle. When I look back, I catch him nodding, his eyes averting to the ground. Now I'm getting the feeling that he's either nervous for my reaction or expecting one from me, so I decide to give him one.

"Thank you... Eric." I smile wider, not avoiding his eyes at all as they flit up quickly to meet mine. "I really appreciate it. So much. I'm sorry I've been so prodding and all. I... won't ask you why you did it because," by now I'm chuckling quietly, "I know you probably don't want to bother giving me an answer."

To my surprise, as I'm sitting back down on the couch and picking up my forgotten sandwich, taking a bite from it, I hear him speak again.

"I was missing you."

I pause in chewing to look up at him, eyebrow raised. "What?"

He clears his throat and sits down next to me once again, clamping his hands together and slouching over. "I missed you. That's why I went out of my way to save you. It sucked here without you to rip on, and Butters was being a lousy Jew. My life was... as much as I hate to admit it... exactly like Stan said. Empty and hollow."

"Eric, you didn't have to-"

"No, no." he interrupts, waving a hand at me. "I had to do it. I couldn't just let you die and only have stupid Butters to rip on for the rest of my life. I-"

I reach over and clamp a hand over his mouth, shutting him up. "No, I meant you didn't have to tell me why you did it. I only asked if it was true or not. I got my answer; you didn't have to elaborate."

He pulls my hand off of his mouth to say, "I don't have to fucking listen to you. I wanted to tell you the reason why."

I shoot another confused look this way, contemplating this for a second.

Suddenly, I realize something.

"Eric..." I begin slowly, "Are you... feeling bad because you didn't answer me before?"

He immediately frowns and denies it. "No, I'm not! I don't feel bad for others, you stupid Jew!"

I let out a short laugh. Denial. Freaking denial. For him, that's the biggest clue that he's lying about something. He _is_ feeling bad about that.

"Yeah. You are." I smirk, crossing my arms across my chest. "You're feeling guilty and are trying to make up for it. Don't you lie to me."

"I can lie to whoever I want! I've been doing it for years, and I'm not about to stop now!" he barks.

"You're getting worse at it, though." I say, smirking even wider. "You're getting soft, Cartman."

This strikes something completely new in him. His cheeks, I notice, get the slightest tinge of pink to them, and I instantly know I've hit the bull's eye.

Bingo. I win.

"So what if I am?" he mumbles, deliberately looking away from me, "What difference does it make to you?"

"None." I answer simply, shaking my head. His own head snaps back up, his confused eyes meeting mine. Exactly the reaction I was going for. Throwing him off kilter is way too fun. I knew he was expecting me to say it makes all the difference in the world.

"What?" he asks quietly, his expression softening.

I laugh and shake my head. "Look, can we just start over? Tell me about your mom, and this time give me a real answer that I can actually follow."

He huffs and gives me a look, reluctantly giving in. "...Fine. What I _said_," he emphasizes, acting again as if I'm a five-year old, "was that I did find her." Soon, his voice softens, and he diverts his eyes away from mine again, "She was in some hotel in Denver. I don't really remember the name. But she was with this guy. She introduced us and was acting all giddy about something. I was trying to figure out why until she went straight out and told me that she was going to get married to him this coming summer."

I notice now that he has a bitter scowl on his face. Something'swrong here. You think that he'd be happy about this. I mean, he's finally going to get a father into his life for once. Though his mother was really... well, yeah. Well, point is he's going to have two parents for once. He should be happy!

"You don't sound too happy about that, though." I interrupt softly, trying to catch his eye.

He shakes his head. "No, I'm not. Not in the least fucking bit."

"Why?" I decide to ask when he doesn't give a reason.

He sighs again, running a hand through his hair. "I... I dunno. It's a lot of things, really."

"Do you not like the guy?"

He shakes his head again, looking more towards my direction, but still not at me. "No, it's not really that. I'm just..."

"...Just?"

"I'm just... scared, I guess."

...Huh?

"What?" I mumble the question, giving him yet another funny look.

Why in the hell would he be scared? Even more so, why would he admit it to me?

"I don't know, okay?!" he exclaims, throwing his arms up in frustration, "This is the first time in my life that I'm ever going to have anything of a father figure in my life, and it's freaking me out, all right?! I don't know what to think of it! It shocked me so much when she told me that I panicked and basically bolted out of there! I just... I don't know how to handle these things!"

I open my mouth to say something in response, but he cuts me off before I can.

"And don't try and tell me it's a good thing or some crap like that! You don't know anything, _anything_ about this at _all_! You've had a father your entire life!"

...Well, he's got me there. I was about to say something just like that to him, but I guess I really can't, can I? I can't tell him what he should be feeling or how he should handle this. I really have no idea what to tell him. Not only that, but I have no place to. I've never dealt with the feeling of not having a father. Seriously, I can't even begin to imagine -or for that matter want to- what it would be like if I didn't have my dad around. He's really the only one who keeps me sane in that hellish place I call home.

"Yeah." I say quietly, nodding my head in agreement, "You're right. I really don't know anything about what you're going through. I'll tell my voice of reason to shut up for once." I finish with a brief laugh.

He's silent for a minute, looking at me intently before he says, "Dude, what in the hell has gotten into you?"

I'm immediately caught off guard by this. "...What?" The hell is he talking about?

"You're not fighting back like you usually do." he explains, frowning at me. "Normally you would give me one of your gay little speeches regardless of whether I wanted to hear it or not. Not that I usually listen... Anyway, my point is," he punches me on the arm in a playful manner, "You're getting soft, too, Jew. Why don't you fight back anymore?"

Why don't I...? Getting soft? I'm not getting soft, am I?

...Well, maybe he's right. Again. I sigh, crossing my arms. Perhaps I am getting soft. And lenient on him. But things change, I guess. They have to in some way. And if he has the right to ask that, then I have the same right to ask him:

"Well, since when did you become so right about everything?"

At this he scoffs, rolling his eyes with a smirk. "What are you saying? I've always been right, stupid. You're just realizing it now?"

…

I don't hesitate to punch him for that. And this isn't a playful punch, either.

"Ow! Kyle!" he whines, wincing and rubbing the part of his arm where I hit him. "What was that for?!"

"You know what it was for, asshole." I growl, giving him a dark look.

He puts on an innocent face, trying to play it off as me being the wrong one. "What? It's totally true!"

I cross my arms and give a short huff, slumping back against the back of the couch. "Whatever." I grumble, looking away from him, "Just tell me what happened next. You freaked out and left, and then what?"

Calming down a bit, his voice softens as he finishes his story out. "Well, not much, really. I left to come back here. I had done all that I needed to do. I found my mom, and-"

Here he clamps his mouth shut, taking a quick pause and starting again. "I was driving back when I noticed something on the side of the road. The car looked a lot like mine, and when I got closer, I recognized it had the same license plate number. When I moved closer, I saw you and Butters in there, totally knocked out." My heart starts beating faster at this point. "You didn't look too hurt, just a little roughened up. So I took you both out and rushed you back here, and had you put in the hospital. I figured that you were going to be okay, but that didn't keep me from..."

He sighs, stopping again. I wait for him to continue, which he does after a few seconds. "Anyway, that's really all that happened. Now, I think you owe me a story of your own. What in the hell has been going on with you and your mom since I've been gone? And what's the deal with Craig?"

"Oh, no no no." I shake my head emphatically. I'm not letting him get off the hook that easy. He was about to say something, and I know it. In fact, he did it twice. I'm dragging that out of him, too. "You still didn't tell me everything, Eric."

A look, then a raise of an eyebrow. "...Yes I did." he responds back, making it sound like the most obvious thing in the world.

"No, you didn't." I argue back, sitting up. "You purposely stopped yourself twice like you were about to say something you didn't want to say. Tell me what those things were.

Almost instantly, he gives me a clue that he's about to lie. Shifting in his seat uncomfortably, he glances the other way, purposefully avoiding my eye. "There's nothing else for me to tell you." He looks back at me, probably to try and cover up the fact that he is indeed lying to me, "That was it."

"Eric." I ground out in a warning tone, leaning closer to him. When he backs up, I know that I've got him right where I want him. "Don't make me hit you again."

He frowns and narrows his eyes at me, but still looks like he's a little bit cautious. "I could break you like a twig if I wanted to."

My answer is quick, simple, and doesn't miss a beat. "Not if I break you first."

"You don't know how to break me." he counters.

I give him a smirk, dark and almost devious in nature. "Oh, I think I do." I lean in closer, watching his face for any kind of reaction at all. He backs up even more, and now I'm convinced that he's either not aware of what he's doing, or doesn't care so long as he gets away from me. Either way, I've got him.

Though... I think I'll cut him some slack for now. I'm feeling... unusually generous today. Besides... he's really done a lot for me in the past couple of months. Really looked out for me, you know? And all I'm doing for him in return is being nosy. I could cut him just a _little_ slack for once.

And before I know it, I've reached over and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling myself close to him in a hug. I close my eyes and breathe in deeply, letting the scent of his cologne wash over me and give my head that wonderful, dizzy feeling.

Yeah, I know that I just said that I would give him a break, but I didn't mean that I was going to move away from him.

Of course, I'm probably making him even more uncomfortable by doing this.

...Yeah. I think I am.

"...What are you doing?" I hear him ask as I feel him stiffen underneath me.

"What do you think?" I ask almost irritatedly, furrowing my eyebrows. "I'm hugging you."

An even simpler question than the one before comes after that. "Why?"

Taking a deep breath in and letting it out, I pull back, open my eyes, and look at him in complete honesty. "I... don't really know. It's a lot of things. But mostly... I guess I'm just trying to show you how thankful I am."

"Thankful?" he asks in confusion, though I get the feeling he knows exactly what I'm talking about. "Thankful for what?"

Okay, I'm almost convinced that he's playing stupid.

I sigh, giving him a slightly irritated look. "For all that you've done for me." Before he can play stupid on that as well, I add, "You know what I'm talking about. Don't act all innocent and clueless about it, or I'm gonna have to hurt you. Understand?"

He sighs in defeat, placing his hand tentatively on my back. "Fine." He looks up at me, a serious look on his face, "Don't think anything of it. It's not that big of a deal."

"Not that big of a deal?" I repeat in shock. Is he losing his mind? "Eric, it is a big deal!" I retort, giving him a serious look of my own, "Don't you understand? Maybe you're still in a huge stage of denial, but I can see that you've really changed in the past couple of months! You would have never done any of this for me before! You never cared before!"

His eyebrows furrow at this. "That's not true! I-" He stops himself again, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Aw, fuck..."

"Eric, what?" I ask, eying him curiously. Is it just me or does he keep trying to hide something?

Shaking his head, he looks the other way. "It's nothing. Forget it."

This time, I stand my ground a little more firmly. I am _not_ letting him get away from this again. I'm dead serious. "No. I will not forget it, Eric. Why is it so hard for you to tell me?"

"Tell you what?" he says in more of a statement than a question.

"I don't know." I say honestly, pulling my arms off of him. "You keep stopping yourself in spots like you're about to say something big that you don't want to tell me. What's wrong? What is so hard for you to tell me?"

As soon as I release him, he lets out a breath and looks away, shaking his head again. "Really, it's nothing important."

...Okay. That's it. I'm sick of this.

I grab him by the collar, yanking him forward so that his face is just inches from mine.

"Eric Theodore Cartman, you will tell me what in the hell you're hiding, or I'm going to make you wish that you were never born. Do. You. Understand?"

His reply is shaky as he gulps, a light blush forming on his cheeks. "O-Okay, okay! What do you want to know?!"

I loosen my grip on him, satisfied that I've finally gotten him to give in. "First off, you were telling me that you left to find your mom, then you cut yourself off before you added a second part to that. I have a feeling that you were going to say something, about me, but stopped yourself before you did because you thought you would get a bad reaction from me if you did. Tell me what you were going to say."

This time he doesn't stall; he gets straight to his point. "I... was going to say that in addition to that... I was running away to get away from you."

At this point, he's averted his eyes again. I blink in realization as he tells me this. I remember Kenny saying something about this when he gave me Eric's letter. Something about... how he was acting like a coward. That Eric was running away to escape his feelings for me because he was too ashamed to admit that he felt that way about me. Yeah... that's it.

"You were running because you were ashamed that you were even in love with me..." I whisper with a blank stare on my face, more to myself than anything.

He hears me, though, because he looks back at me again with a questioning look on his face. "Who told you that?"

"Kenny." I say, snapping back to reality. "It was long after you had left. He told me that you were running because you felt that you shouldn't love me, even though it was basically fate."

He scoffs, a heavy scowl forming on his face. "Eh, whatever. That's all a bunch of crap. He told me all of that, too, but I didn't bother to listen. It's stupid. Don't tell me you actually listened to that poor piece of crap."

I scowl as well, crossing my arms and giving him a look. "Right. You say that you don't believe in stuff like that, but you used to believe that you had psychic powers, convinced people that you did, and 'solved'" I do finger quotes here for emphasis, "all of those crime cases."

He doesn't say anything to this. A few seconds of silence passes, and I finally accept that he's not going to say anything, so I continue.

"Eric..." I sigh, giving him a soft glance before shifting my eyes to the couch cushions, "I learned that you can't run from your problems. Ever. They're only going to come back to bite you whether it's next week or next year. You just have to face them head on and don't ask questions. You're going to have to learn to-"

I'm suddenly silenced by a finger pressing to my lips. I give him a questioning look, but again he's not looking at me.

"Yeah, yeah. I know." he mumbles, pulling his hand away. "I can't run anymore, can I? I have to learn to accept the truth for what it is." Damn, he's getting good. "Fine. I get it. Look. When I stopped myself the second time, I was going to say that when I first took you to the hospital, and you got placed in a room... I didn't leave. I didn't dare leave. Again, I was... scared. Like I said, I figured you would be fine, it's not like you were critical or anything, but I still had that doubt that... maybe you wouldn't wake up. Maybe you wouldn't be okay." I notice that his fists clench on his lap, and his voice is getting softer by the second. "I only stayed with Butters for a little while. It was mostly you who I was worried about."

I'm nearly speechless now. The only thing I can manage to say is his name. "Eric..."

He continues on. "I thought about a lot of things there. How I shouldn't have left. How I was stupid to think that you weren't going to follow me just because I left you a note telling you not to. And for the first time in my life, I think I actually..." he sighs, shaking his head.

"You what?" I encourage him softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. Screw it being the right or wrong time to comfort him. I'm doing this because I want to.

He doesn't seem to mind.

"I think I felt... guilty. But I'm not sure!" he suddenly adds in his defense before calming back down again. "I don't know. I just... don't know."

I smile a small smile, patting his shoulder softly. "Eric, you don't have to feel guilty. It was my decision to follow you."

He suddenly perks up at this. "Oh, really? Good, then I didn't feel guilty about it."

I get the strongest urge to hit him for that, but I hold myself back. As hard as it is to. "Okay, one more." I say. "You claimed that what I said about you never caring wasn't true. Care to elaborate for me?"

He, once again, gets straight into it. "I've saved you before, you know. And there was one time where I really... really cared about your life." he says in a serious tone, shooting me an even more serious look.

I nod at this in understanding. "Yeah. I already know about the storm."

To this he shakes his head like he has something else to say. "Yeah, there's that, I guess. But there was another time I saved your life."

"This isn't about the kidney thing again, is it?" I deadpan.

"No!" he exclaims, clearly growing frustrated. "Remember that time I made that bet with you? About the leprechaun?"

Oh god. Not this again. I roll my eyes, looking away from him. "Don't remind me."

That was the dumbest thing that ever happened to me. Ever.

"No, Kyle, just listen to me!" he pleads. I act like I'm not listening, but I keep my ears open just in case. "That stupid manpigbearor whatever it was almost killed you when it came through that portal or whatever you were so obsessed about."

I was only obsessed because it was actually something important to worry about, unlike his stupid bet, but I don't say this to his face.

"Yeah." I say, playing along, "I woke up in the hospital with no idea what was going on, and all you cared about was your petty little bet."

"Oh, I cared more about that, Kyle." he says softly and with conviction. "I was the one who revived your skinny ass."

…

…

"What?"

He nods simply, his eyes meeting mine. "That's right, Kyle. I saved your life then."

I'm almost convinced that he's being completely honest here, but something stops me from believing all the way. "That's only because you were so adamant about completing the bet." I say bitterly.

To my surprise, he shakes his head. "No. It wasn't about that. I... I didn't want to accept the fact that you were dead. It was more about the bet at that point. It was about your life, Kyle. Like I said... I really cared. About you. About your life."

This time it's me who's left totally silent, and him being the one who decides to continue when I don't say a word.

"Look, what I'm trying to get at is that..." he takes in a deep breath and lets it out, a tinge of pink evident on his cheeks. "I want to try this again."

I'm silent for a few more seconds before I tilt my head to the side, looking at him quizzically. Honestly, I have no clue as to what he's getting at. "Try what again?"

"A relationship." he says quietly, avoiding my eyes for the millionth time. "I'm willing to give it another shot. And this time I'm being completely honest. I'm not going to fool with you. At all."

...Is he serious? He doesn't possibly think that I...

I narrow my eyes at him, giving him a wary glance. "And why should I believe you? I've been tricked by you too many times before, don't think I-"

I'm suddenly cut off by him again, but this time it's not by his finger. It's his lips. He crushes them against mine rather forcefully, holding me flush against him with a single arm. I struggle in his grasp at first, but immediately relax as he begins to rub my back softly. He lessens the pressure on my lips and holds me there for a minute, probably savoring the feeling just as much as I am.

Damn, I missed this.

He moves his lips softly against mine a few times, treating me very gently. His other hand moves to brush my hat off of my head, cupping the back of my scalp softly. He put a slight bit of pressure against my lips again before he pulls back, panting softly.

"Still don't believe me?" he asks, his face completely flushed.

I breathe in a few heavy breaths as I stare blankly at him, only registering how warm my face feels right now. I finally remember how to speak after a minute or so.

"Oh my god..." I whisper, "You're being completely genuine, aren't you?"

Next he slumps in obvious relief, giving me a rare smile. "As genuine as I can get, Jew."

"Don't call me that." I say with a smirk, punching his shoulder lightly.

"Hey, you're my bitch now." he smirks as well, pulling me against his side. "I can call you anything I want."

What?!

"Who said that I was your bitch?!" I shout, pushing away from him and punching him harder. He chuckles in response. "Just because you kissed me doesn't mean I'm suddenly yours!" Seriously, he can be such an ass!

"Hey, it's not like you were fighting against me or anything." he laughs, focusing his attention on the television once more. "By the way you were moaning and panting, I would say that you liked it."

I can feel face heat up at least five hundred degrees at this remark. I must look like a fucking cherry right now. "I did not moan, you asshole!" I bark, feeling my blood boil when he laughs in response.

"Okay, okay. Fine." he says, still chuckling. He sits up and turns his body towards mine, placing his hands firmly on my shoulders. "You're not really mine yet. But I _will_ make you mine."

I look away from him with a slight scowl on my face. "I never said that I wasn't yours..." I mumble, "I just didn't like that you called me a bitch."

He takes my chin into his hand and forces me to look at him. I don't resist in the least. "Okay, whatever. My point is... how about we skip school Monday? Our relationship is still a little rocky, and if we spend some time together maybe we can get somewhere with each other. It can't make things any worse, right?"

"Well, I don't know about _that_..." I say quietly, soon giving him a smile, "But I guess it wouldn't hurt to try. Why not?"

He blinks at this, apparently shocked at my response. "Wait, you're totally for it?" I nod simply to this. "You mean you're not going to whine and bitch about your mom and all that crap?"

"No." I chuckle, leaning against the back of the couch again. "Not really. I'm really sick of dealing with it now. I don't really care now if she finds out about me skipping. I'll deal with the punishment she gives me. She's probably already going to give me a heavy punishment just for being gone. What's another month of being grounded?"

He pauses for a moment to look at me, then chuckles as well. "Right. There you go. Glad to see you've finally seen the light."

I roll my eyes and smile, scooting closer to him. "Well, I figured that if you've changed so drastically, I could bother to change a little, too. Try new things, you know? And besides," I smile wider, looking up at him and moving even closer. "You're more important to me right now."

"Aw, that's sweet." he says in a sarcastic voice. He receives another punch in return. "You really feel that way about me?"

I frown, crossing my arms in a huff as he wraps an arm around my shoulder. That's probably in mockery, too. But who knows? Maybe this is his way of showing affection. He would be one to act indifferent about all of this, wouldn't he? Yeah, that would match him perfectly. He doesn't really like showing his true feelings most of the time. Not in front of others at least. He always tries to play it off like he just did.

"You know how I feel, asshole." I say through clenched teeth. "_I'm_ the one who should be asking_ you_ that."

His arm tightens around me, and he give me a devious smirk. My heart beats faster in my chest as he does so.

Yeah, it's one of _those_ looks.

"You really want an answer?" he asks in a dark voice, one that sends wonderful chills up my spine.

My mouth goes dry, and I stare at him like a deer caught in the headlights, contemplating what I should do. Do I tell him yes or no? Hell, do I even respond to that? God knows what he'll do if I do...

I ignore my conscience screaming at me to let it be, and answer him back anyway. "Yeah. I do."

Hell. I'm feeling a little daring right now. Even if he pulls a gun on me and shoots me dead, at least I know I'll die happy. He's driving me nuts right now, and it's not at all in a bad way.

He merely smirks in response and leans in closer to my face. His arms wrap around me again, and I fear that I'm going to suffocate. Everything about him is overwhelming me. I take in a deep breath, which is something I'm going to need badly because he closes in on me, tilts me back so that I'm laying on my back...

...and kisses me again.

* * *

Phew. There you go. Are they back together? In technical terms, not really, but who really cares about that? XD They kissed, right?

So yeah. I hope that answers a lot of questions. I know that everything hasn't been set into its place yet, but that's why there's still two chapters left. I'll be honest with you guys and say that I originally had it planned to have a cliffhanger here. Then I realized when I was writing that I was probably going to have to cut some of the parts and move them to the next chapter, but still give you a cliffhanger. But it was STILL too long, so I decided against it completely. I bet you're glad, right? But that just means you're pretty much going to get a sad, depressing chapter for the next one. ;)

Aw, don't worry! It'll be fun. XD Promise.

Okay. I should go. Things for me to do. I really hope you enjoyed this one as much as I enjoyed writing it. And don't hesitate to give me some feedback! Tell me if you loved it, hated it, etc. I really love hearing from you guys!

See you next time! Love you all!

-Soul


	20. Those Left Behind

Okay. I figured that since I managed to finish them, I might as well post them both. Silly thing to do, yes, but I feel like it. Note that I'm running on about six hours of sleep here. I'm not exactly thinking straight.

Anyway, I'm posting the last two chapters of this story for you to enjoy at your leisure. Read them now; read them later; in bits and pieces; in one entire sit down; your call. Just make sure to take your time with them and enjoy them because this is it. There's no more after this. At least for Kyle's POV. I will remind you that I am still planning to write a version of this story in Cartman's POV, but I'm not exactly sure when I'm going to start that. I have about two more weeks of work left, and I'll be back in school about a week after that. So I'm not sure. It won't take forever, though. Promise. ;D

Now, without any further delay, I give you the second to last chapter. Expect a bit of violence (not much, though), and a bit more drama. This is the last of it, though. Extra points to those who know/can guess where Cartman's "Well, excuse me, princess" line comes from.

Enjoy!

-Soul

* * *

It's only when you've gone through what seems like a year full of drama that you miss comfort, warmth, and love all at the same time. Something as simple as that, as well as something that you think I would get at home but don't, can make all the difference sometimes. Especially with the person you're sharing it with.

Of course, not knowing exactly where you are, and having to wonder about that for a minute kind of takes away from it. Why you're there is a totally different thing to deal with.

I wake up, of course, not knowing where I am. I look around, and come to the conclusion that I'm in Eric's room. No surprise there, I guess. Next, I have to figure out why. Like I said, a whole other thing. There's also the question of why I'm so damned warm. And why it feels like something's wrapped around my waist.

Okay, okay. Fine. I'm playing stupid.

I'm in Eric's room where we fell asleep (no, not after doing THAT), and he's still asleep behind me, cuddled right up against my back.

Yeah, it's cute, isn't it? Hee hee.

I sigh. No, it's not that I don't like him doing this to me. It's just... I dunno. I'd like to move without waking him up.

It's really strange. He sleeps like a rock when other things are going on around him, but when it comes to me budging just a single inch, he wakes up like there's an earthquake shaking the house.

Overprotective bastard.

But I guess I love him all the same.

I look over at the clock, and notice that it's already eight thirty. My mind almost goes into panic mode thinking that it's Monday, and I need to bust my ass if I want to get to school, until I remind myself that Eric and I agreed to skip today.

Thank goodness.

Although, I still have my doubts about doing this. No matter how many times I tell myself it's okay to break the rules every once in awhile, that this will be a good thing for me just like Eric tells me, I just can't push that queasy feeling out of my stomach.

He better hopes this goes well, or I'm getting him back for it. I am SO getting him back for it.

Taking care not to wake the precious little angel sleeping next to me, I turn to lay on my back. My efforts are in vain, though. As soon as I lift my freaking arm, I can hear him speak behind me.

"You okay?"

I can't help but smile, as annoyed as I am. "Yes, Eric. I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

I already know the answer to this.

"You moved."

I sigh again, turning to face him. At least I can move freely now. "Eric, just because I move doesn't mean that I'm not all right." Before he can open his mouth to reply, I add, "And no, it doesn't mean I'm going to leave, either." He shuts his mouth. "Really, do you have to be so possessive?"

He frowns at me. "No, I just..." He pauses, looking for a good answer, "I'm just trying to look out for you."

I give him a bored look in return. "Stop lying. You're being possessive, and that's all there is to it."

"No, I'm not." he argues back.

Ugh, here we go.

Sorry, but I'm not playing along with that game today. As much as he wants to, I'm not doing it. "Okay," I say simply, rolling over again and sitting up, "I'm not even going to argue with you. It's not worth it."

He sits up as well, and I have a feeling that he's smirking at me. "Oh, you know it is. You love arguing with me. That's the best part of our relationship, isn't it?" I feel a hand against my back.

I push myself away from him, getting out of the bed and stretching. "No, that's something we need to work on." I poke my finger against his nose, smirking. "Are we actually going to do that, or did you just use that as an excuse to convince me to skip school?"

Seriously, if that's the real reason he did this... I'm not just going to get back at him. Oh no. It's going to be a lot worse than that.

"Of course not!" he retorts, following me out of his room. "Kyle, I really want to work this out with you! I'm seriously! I-" He immediately stop here, and I turn to see that he's shut his mouth and is looking away from me.

What in the heck was that about?

I shrug it off and turn again, walking down the stairs. "Okay, fine. If you say so." Sure. I believe him. I'm just playing with him a little bit. You know, act like I don't believe him still. "Let's get some breakfast first, and then we'll go out for a walk or something. Okay?"

He follows me into the kitchen without a word.

* * *

"Why does it always have to be so fucking cold here?" Eric grumbles as he steps outside, his breath puffing in the air as he speaks.

I close the door behind me, and wrap my jacket tighter around me to retain some warmth. "Because we live in Colorado, and that's how it is?" I reply to him, my breath puffing in the air as well. There's fresh snow on the driveway as well as the cars. Good thing we're not going out for a drive.

"Well, I'm fucking cold. Come here." he grumbles again. Reaching an arm out, he grabs one of mine, and yanks me towards him, pressing our sides together.

Well, this is something new.

"What in the hell are you doing?" I scowl up at him. My nose is practically frozen over now.

He scowls back, tugging me along with him as he begins to walk. "Um, pulling us close together for warmth?" Once again, he's speaking to me like I'm an idiot. Something I hate oh so much. "Oh, come on, it's something that'll help us build our relationship up."

I tear myself away from him, keeping a distance of a few steps between us. "No it won't, idiot." I argue, dodging him as he advances towards me. "You can't just act all affectionate to someone and expect them to trust you back. Relationships don't work that way."

"Oh, and how would you know, my lovely, sweet Jew?" he asks, making a swipe at me. Great, he's turned this into a fucking game now. "You've never been in a relationship, have you?"

"Yeah I have!" I retort back before I can even think about it. Have I been in a relationship before? Huh. Well, there was that one girl in third grade at that spelling bee. But she kinda turned out to be a creep. We kissed, but that was about it. It wasn't really a true relationship.

He crosses his arms and smirks, stopping for a second. "Okay. With who?"

Surprisingly, I stop as well. "I... Well, I... um..."

Great. Way to get yourself stuck, Broflovski.

"Yes?" The smirk is dripping off in his tone.

Since I have nothing at all to say to that, I cross my arms and scowl, looking away from him. I can't stand to see the look of triumph on his face. It hurts me too much.

"Shut up..." I manage to mumble.

"That's what I thought." Tone still dripping with that nasty smirk I'm sure is on his face, I feel his arm grab mine again, and he pulls me into a soft hug. "Really, it's not so bad, Broflovski."

Shivers run down my spine as he says this. Whoa. Who knew that him saying my last name like that would affect me so much. That was kinda... nice. Strange, but nice.

However, I play it off as nothing. "Don't call me that again." I say, looking away from him.

We start walking again, and he chuckles. "Whatever you say, Broflovski."

Another splendid shiver runs down my spine again, and I hear him laugh again. Goddammit, he fucking knows!

For some reason, though, he chooses not to tease me for it. Instead, he changes the subject. "So, where we headed?"

I shrug, giving him a look. "I don't know. You're the one who wanted to do this."

He shakes his head and smirks. "No, I wasn't. I only wanted to skip school. I would have been perfectly fine staying in bed all day. You're the one who wanted to come outside."

Dammit. He's right again.

Fuck. What do I say to that? I just can't admit that he's right again! That's just...! I just can't! I always win, why is it so different now?!

"Well, yeah, but-" I honestly have nothing to say. Really and truly. Great, I've gotten myself stuck again!

"But nothing." He finishes for me, squeezing my shoulders. "Just tell me where you want to go so we can get this over with."

Aha! I've got him here.

"Says the guy who claims he wants to work on our relationship." I reply coolly.

He says nothing to this. I smile in return when he gives me a speechless look.

Who's right now, sucker?

He looks at me that way for a few seconds more before turning his head to look in front of him, a scowl on his face. "Just tell me where you want to go. Seriously."

I smirk, not done with my teasing. Oh no. In fact, I've just started. "Oh, no 'I'm' to add to that, Cartman?"

"Just tell me where to go, Jew!" he yells.

Nice. Glad to see we're all the way back to square one.

"Okay, okay. Fine." I surrender, holding my hands up in defeat. Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. And I should know since I was in that same bed with him.

Again, I'm telling, nothing like that happened. I know what you're thinking, and I'm telling you it's not like that.

...Yet.

I did not just say that.

"Well?" His voice brings me back to reality, and I blink my eyes.

"Oh. I guess we can go to Stark's Pond. It's nice and-"

"And romantic." He cuts me off in a mocking tone, letting go of me briefly to clasp his hands together. He flutters his eyelashes for added effect.

Asshole.

"No." I say calmly, breathing out a short sigh so that I don't lose my cool. "I was _going_ to say that it's right here." I point in front of me, proving my point.

"Well, excuse me, _princess_," he scoffs, rolling his eyes in the smuggest way, "I'm sorry. Seriously, you need to get that sand out of you vagina." You don't know how close I am to hitting him right now. "Would you like for me to kiss your hand in apology?" he takes a low bow. I'm serious, he's walking on thin ice here... "Or would you rather me throw down my jacket so you can tiptoe across that puddle over there? Oh wait, that's the pond."

The next two seconds finds me punching the shit out of him, and him barking out a shout at me. He totally deserved it.

"The fuck, Kyle?!" At least he's getting my name right in terms of pronunciation.

I shake my head, stepping forward to get away from him. The warmth suddenly goes away, but I'll take that over having to stay with that bastard. Seriously, he really gets on my nerves sometimes. "Don't play stupid with me, asshole." I growl, looking back at him. "You know what that was for. Don't even start with m-" I'm suddenly stopped in my tracks when I bump into something. Since I'm still looking at Cartman, I notice that his face falls a little, and a scowl forms on his features. Figuring that something is up, I turn to look at what I've run into. The sight almost stops my heart.

"Well, well, well. Look what we have here." Craig says in a low, eerily quiet voice. I immediately step as far as I can back from him, bumping into Eric this time.

No. No no no. This _can't_ be happening. Not now. How in the fuck did he find us?! Why isn't he in school like he should be?!

...Okay, those are stupid questions. For one, this town isn't that big. It doesn't take long to make a quick run in to. Two, why would Craig give a damn about going to school if he's still bent on getting at me? Unless I'm there myself, he's not going to go.

"Craig, please." I beg, feeling Eric shift uncomfortably behind me. "There's no reason in hell for you to beat me up. I-"

"I'm not after you this time." he says blankly, giving an equally blank stare. He nods in Eric's direction, much to my surprise. "Revenge is on my mind today. I'm after the fat ass."

If Cartman's fazed by this, he sure doesn't show it. "I'm sorry, douchebag." he scoffs, crossing his arms against his chest. "The meaning that _wonderful_ name once had is lost on me now."

Craig merely 'hmphs' back, staring us down with narrowed eyes. His posture is telling me that he's ready to strike at any moment. Why am I getting the feeling that this isn't going to turn out well? My stomach is literally doing flips; not a good feeling at all.

There's a cold, long silence between the three of us; Cartman and Craig staring each other down, trying to outdo each other (in the dumbest way possible, I might add), and me wondering and slightly fearing what in the world is going to happen next. I've grown a little tense from the suspense of it all, and if Craig happens to make a move on one of us, I don't think I'll be able to react in time. I hope to God that Eric will.

Just as I'm convinced that the both of them are going to just stand here for the rest of the day and play 'stare down,' Craig reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out something that makes my heart nearly stop and my mouth go dry. Glinting in the light of the weak winter sun is the blade of a pocketknife. Craig chuckles in a dark, 'I've totally won and there's nothing you can do about it way,' running the blade softly across his thumb.

I gasp and open my mouth like I'm going to say something, but there's nothing for me to say. Besides, if I do say something, it might trigger him to attack. Trust me, this kid gets irked by the weirdest things. If I made the comment that bunnies are cute, he would probably go for my throat.

Really, this kid needs some serious help.

"What's the matter, fat ass?" Craig taunts, a devilish smirk spreading across his face. "I thought you would have been running by now, after seeing me pull a knife out and all. After all, Kyle's not looking too well. Why not you?"

Before I can retort back to that comment and tell him that I'm just fine (thought I'm really not), Eric steps in front of me, acting like a shield. "Oh?" he says with an air of smugness, "I thought you knew me better than that, Craig. I've handled plenty of knives in my lifetime. Plenty more than you have. They don't bother me at all."

I can feel the tension rising, and I peek around Eric shoulder to see Craig's reaction. He smirks even wider, and if possible, the dark look on his face intensifies. "Well, then," he takes a step forward. Almost like he's ready to pounce... "Then I bet this won't bother you, either!"

The next few seconds go by in a blurry flash. Before I know it, I'm pushed down to the ground, and all I can hear is the scuffling of feet in the snow. When I open my eyes again, I see Craig and Eric a few yards in front of me, duking it out. They twist and turn in an attempt to dodge each other's punches, and all I can do is sit and watch. I'm too paralyzed by the reality of it all to budge a single inch. A tiny glimmer of hope is in my heart, trying to make me believe that this is just a dream, and that I'll wake up soon in Eric's room again, safe and sound.

It's only when Craig starts trying to use his knife that I snap back to reality, and tell myself that this is indeed all too real. Way too real. And Eric needs some serious help because, honestly, this isn't fair. If Craig manages to stab hard enough and hits the right spot... And I know that he's going for the kill. I just know it. He's crazy enough... he went to the lengths to not only deliberately seek us out, but to bring a freaking knife with him to finish the job.

I've got to make this more fair than it is right now. If he's going to use a fucking knife, then I'm going to make it two against one. This isn't just my sense of justice saying this: this guys needs to be stopped. Before he seriously hurts someone.

Pushing myself off the ground, I charge towards the two of them, hoping to knock Craig to his feet. I know that Eric doesn't want me involved in this at all, but if Craig manages to deliver a deadly blow to him... I won't show any mercy at all. Absolutely none. Screw doing the good and noble thing after that. I'll take that knife out of that bastard's hands and...

Stop it, Kyle! Just focus on knocking Craig off balance... If I can do that, surely Eric will take care of the rest. I trust him not to kill him.

...Sort of.

I hear a sharp yelp, and my heart catches in my throat. My feet plant themselves into the ground, and I'm immobilized again. In front of me I can see Craig with a confident smirk on his face, pressed close to Cartman. And Cartman's expression on the other hand... is one of pain. And Craig's right hand... is close to Eric 's chest... way too close. Way too fucking... close.

Craig pulls his hand away, knife in it, and takes a few, slow steps back. Eric coughs out a breath and collapses to the ground, and through his clutched hands I can see the one thing I was fearing all along.

Blood.

No. No...

"You... bastard...!" Eric manages to cough out, struggling to stand to his feet. He fails as knees buckle beneath him, and he's immediately on the ground again. He's still clutching his chest in pain.

That... fucking...

Craig chuckles again, taking in the sweet sense of victory. Whatever he's planning to say next goes unheard as I quickly pick up a decent sized branch and slam it against his head. I don't even care to wonder if I've simply just knocked his out, or done something much worse. It's not like he doesn't deserve it.

As soon as I'm done, I rush over to Eric's side to look him over. He's in bad shape. My mind's racing too fast for me to even think about feeling sad or crying over him. Thank goodness I have enough sense to pull my cellphone out. What was that number again? Oh. Right. 911.

"Hang on, Eric." My voice is shaky as I wrap one of my arms around his shoulder. He doesn't respond, but I can hear his shallow, shaky breathing; a sign that he's still alive. "You're going to be okay." I gulp and let out another shaky breath, holding my phone up to my ear. The dial tone buzzes, and the call is immediately picked up.

"911. Emergency?"

* * *

"Dude, is he all right?"

I blink my eyes open at the sound of a voice. The bright lights of the hospital blind me, giving me a strong sense of deja vu. Except this time, I'm not the one laying in the bed. Eric is.

"Mmm, Kenny?" I yawn, looking over at him with slightly blurred vision. I rub at my eyes to clear the them up. Looking at him again, I can see him more clearly now, his orange parka giving him away completely.

"Yeah. That's my name." He smiles and walks closer, standing on the other side of the bed Eric's laying in. "Don't wear it out." He smile turns into a frown as he looks down at Cartman. "Dude, how is he?"

Realizing that I haven't answered his question yet, I lift my head off the bed and sit up, giving Eric a quick glance. I quickly look away, not able to stand the look of pain that's still stuck on his face.

"Not that great..." I sigh, feeling my entire body freeze over in fear. "The doctor came in awhile ago and told me that... well, he might not..." I close my mouth, not wanting to finish that sentence.

"Ah. I see." Kenny mumbles, crossing his arms. "Not much of a fighter, are you, fat ass?" he chuckles, trying his best to make light of the situation.

I crack a small smile, but it's anything but happy. "Craig got him pretty close. He missed his heart by a few millimeters. Still... it did enough. He's hanging on by a thread." I let out a small chuckle; again, not happy in the least.

"Yeah." Kenny says softly. "Speaking of which, what happened to that bastard?"

"They took him to jail." I say just as softly, staring at one of the posters on the wall. When I say nothing else after that, Kenny hums and speaks again. I'm guessing to make the situation less awkward and tense.

"Stan couldn't make it. Football practice and all."

I simply nod my head in acknowledgment. Speaking is something completely lost to me now. I'm... basically shocked speechless. This must be what it feels like to be completely empty. To feel like you have nothing left. I mean, if Eric... if he doesn't make it... I don't know what I'll do. I suppose that I can go back home... at the risk of living in what feels like a prison. My mom and I will probably never be on good terms again after she finds out where I've been staying, let alone what I've been doing. She'd probably be more than glad that Eric would be out of my life, considering all the 'trouble' he's caused me. Not to mention-

"You know, Eric _does_ have a good chance of making it." Kenny murmurs, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I manage to whisper, looking at him in confusion. What did he just say?

Kenny chuckles, crossing his arms across his chest. He's looking down at Eric intently before he averts his eyes up to meet with mine. "I said... he has a good chance of living."

"How do you know-" I start to ask before snapping my mouth shut. That's right. I completely forgot. Kenny can predict some things. He must know that Eric's going to... "Wait, you're _serious?!_" I shout, jumping out of my seat that I've set next to Eric's bed.

Kenny immediately shushes me, moving his hands to tell me to sit back down. "Calm down, dude. He won't make it if you start acting like that." he whispers in a calm voice, glancing over at Eric.

I blink and slowly sit back down, making a point to be careful about it. "Sorry." I say in a calmer voice, more like his. "But are you sure that he's going to make it? Have you seen it or something? I mean, how will I know if he won't..." I can't even finish the sentence.

At this, he scratches his head. My stomach drops slightly as he does so. That's not the best sign. When he does that, it usually means he's not sure.

"No. I... didn't see it. Not exactly. But I do know of a way that will ensure that he doesn't die."

I narrow my eyes, not catching his drift yet. "What do you mean?"

His answer is straight, to the point, and leaves me feeling even more confused and scared than before.

"I sacrifice myself in his place."

...What?

"_Sacrifice _yourself?" Surely he doesn't mean...

He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Come on, Kyle. You're a smart kid." When I don't answer to that, he rolls his eyes, though it's not really intended to be in a harsh, demeaning way. "Here's the thing. I've died so many times, that I've managed to go to Heaven. However, my behavior there wasn't exactly up to their standards. Each time I act up, I get kicked out, and that's why I've come back to life so many times after my death. Thing is, the bigwigs up there don't like giving a person that many chances at life. But they don't like people who act up, either. So... to get me to prove my worth, the angels up there gave me the power to sacrifice myself in order to save someone else. A noble and good thing to do, right? If I do it for the right cause, they'll grant me eternal life. Given I die again, of course." he chuckles.

"So..." I begin slowly, "You're saying that you'll put your soul in place of Eric's in order for him to live?" Makes sense. In a weird, supernatural sort of way. He nods his head in return. "But..." I continue, gradually realizing what this means, "If you do that, we'll never see you again. I mean, you said that they'll grant you eternal life if you do this... are you sure about this?!"

This is a great thing for Kenny to do, but... I don't want to risk never seeing again if Eric manages to live without him having to do that! He should at least wait a little longer so we can see if Eric does-

"Kyle..." Kenny sighs sadly, looking at Cartman again. "He's not getting any better. I can see it, and I know you can. I saw I in your eyes earlier. They were completely dead. Empty. This is really affecting you. It's not like you to be like this... hurting. And I can't stand seeing my friends hurt. You and Eric both. I _need_ to do this." Before I can argue any further, he smiles and walks over to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Besides... I already promised you that this would all end up a happy ending, right? I don't break my promises to my friends. Like I said, you and Eric deserve this. You've gone through way too much to have it all blow up in your face now."

I take this in for a second before sighing and looking away from him. "Fine. I... I'll let you do it."

"Oh, I was going to do it anyway." he laughs, stepping away from me. "I wasn't asking for your approval. I was just trying to lessen the blow." His expression turns soft as he gives me one last look and stands by the door, ready to walk out. "Don't worry, Kyle. I'll be kicked out before you know it. I know how to push their buttons. It doesn't take much. I'll probably be back next week. Trust me."

"You better be, Ken." I smile back, despite the depressing situation. "You better be."

He says nothing after that. He simply gives me one last wave before stepping out of the room. A minute or so passes by before I hear the clear bang of a gunshot, and it's then that I know that he's carried out his 'duty.' I chuckle to myself, feeling a little bit better despite the fact that I just heard one of my closest friends shoot himself in the head. He probably knew that he was going to have to do this all along...

Crazy bastard.

"Nn..."

My thoughts are immediately broken as I hear a soft sigh and the rustle of sheets behind me, and my heart nearly stops in my chest. I slowly turn my head to look at Eric, and a lump forms in my throat.

He's waking up.

Again, I'm shocked speechless, but I'm more than thankful that it's in a good way this time. When he opens his eyes fully and sees me, he instantly smiles, lighting up the whole room. My heart starts to beat a million miles an hour. And to think that I was convinced that I would never see that smile again.

Thanks, Kenny. I owe you for this. Big time.

"H-How you feeling?" I can't help to keep the stutter out of my voice. It's all I can say at the moment, but I think it's more than enough to get the message across.

He blinks and makes a slow move to sit up, his expression surprised. "Fine. Just fine."

I breathe a sigh of relief, moving closer to his side. "Thank goodness. I was afraid that... that you weren't going to make it."

He chuckles, reaching his hand to grab mine and squeeze it in an act of comfort. I squeeze back with a smile. "No," he shakes his head, "I think you should be thanking Kenny."

I blink in surprise when he says that. "How did you know that Kenny-?"

"He gave me the kindest farewell, I'll have you know." he scoffs, closing his eyes in irritation. "Who knew the poor piece of crap could do so much?"

I immediately scowl and punch his shoulder roughly. "Don't call him that, asshole! He saved your fucking life!"

"I know that!" he barks back, scowling right back at me. "I was the one who said that it's him we should be thanking, was I not?"

"Yeah, but-!" Does he have to be such a bastard at a time like this? He's so fucking frustrating that I-

"Hush, Jew." He smirks, poking me on the nose with his free hand. I've almost forgotten that he's holding one of mine in his own.

"Don't tell me to shut up, jerk!"

He feigns a look of hurt, clearly mocking me. "Oh, jerk? That's so weak. Don't you have any better insults? I know you do, Kyle."

I snarl, but manage to contain my anger. As much as I want to practically kill him right now, I hold myself back. After all, if I do, Kenny's whole sacrifice will have been in vain. Instead, I simply sigh and lay my head down on his bed, closing my eyes so that I don't have to look at his smug face. "Glad to see you really are feeling better..." I mutter bitterly.

I feel a hand against my head a few seconds later, fingers running through my hair gently. "Same here. Same here." A few seconds of silence fall between us, and I've almost dozed off before I hear, "I'm... sorry."

Blinking my eyes open, I give him a questioning look. "Sorry? What for?"

"I..." he swallows, breathing out a short sigh and looking away for a moment. "...kinda let you down." he says sincerely, looking back at me with an honest look. "I thought I could beat him, but... I dunno. I slipped, and that's when I let my guard down. Then he... Look, I'm just sorry!"

I furrow my eyebrows, not understanding at first what he's trying to get past me; what he's trying to hide. Then, it clicks. "Eric..." I mumble softly, placing my other hand over our intertwined ones, "It's okay. He had a knife, it wasn't fair in the first place-"

"I don't care about that!"

I sigh and sit up, looking him in the eye. "Yes you do. You can't fool me, Eric, so stop trying to. Your pride's hurt by that fight, and we both know it."

He snorts and looks away, a scowl on his face. He says nothing to this, giving me no choice but to reach up and grab his chin, turning it so that he'll look at me.

"Eric, look at me." I command. He reluctantly does so. "What matters more to you? Your pride, or your life?" Silence. "Seriously, get over yourself. Who cares that you lost to Craig? He had a fucking knife! I told you, it wasn't a fair fight. I'm impressed that you even managed to last with him using it. I'm even more impressed that you..." Here I pause, feeling a blush spread across my cheeks, "...were willing to protect me. I-"

"That's because I care." he says softly, speaking up. To this I smile softly, bringing our hands up to rest against my cheek.

"I know you do." I breathe and close my eyes, pressing my lips against the back of his hand. My heart is pounding in my chest. "I know you do."

I hear him sigh before he speaks again. "Look, Kyle... there's... something I want to ask you." By the end of the sentence, his voice has lowered to a mere whisper. I blink and look at him again.

"What's that?"

He shifts nervously in the bed, looking away from me with a blush of his own. I think I know where this is going. It's going somewhere that I've wanted it to go all along. "Will you... maybe, uh..." Nervous much? I smile, waiting for him to spit it out. This must build some kind of confidence in him because he does just that. "Will you go out with me again? For real this time?"

"And what do you think my answer is to that?" I reply instantly with a chuckle, giving him a look. "I'm the one who wanted you all along. You messed with my feelings, not the other way around."

This strikes something in him because he immediately looks away with a look of guilt on his face. "Yeah, I know. Sorry about that."

I smile wider, reaching over to pat his cheek. "It's fine, Eric. Of course I'll go out with you again. I'm up for giving people second chances. You've changed a lot since we were together last. I know you won't disappoint me again."

He chuckles at this pulling me in for a gentle, brief kiss. "Oh, I won't disappoint you. Not at all."

I laugh at this, wrapping my arms around his neck; his arms wrap around my back in return. "Good. I'll take you up on that." As soon as I close my eyes, resting my head in the crook of his neck, I feel his hand rubbing my back. My smile widens, even more so at what he whispers into my ear just as I start to doze off; the feeling of comfort that I was temporarily derived of returns when he breathes out these next few words:

"You'll be all right, Broflovski. You'll be all right."


	21. Love

Okay. So this is it. The last of the last. There's no more after this. Kyle's version will officially be done with in this chapter. I won't waste your time with small talk; I'll save that for the end. I really hope you enjoy this one! ;D I put a lot of effort into getting it done, and did everything in my power to make it as great as I possibly could. Though some parts still seem a little rushed to me...

Enjoy!

* * *

Due to his miraculous recovery from the fight with Craig yesterday (though we know who to thank for that), Eric is being released from the hospital today. The doctors are all shocked. They claim that it definitely is a miracle that someone recovered so quickly from the kind of stab wound he had. Then again, strange and unexpected things do happen in this town, and most of the doctors here at Hell's Pass don't really know much of anything.

So, because of this, we're both going home. Not 'going our separate ways' home, oh no. That would just be stupid. I mean, my two options here for that are what? Either go home to a mother that will lock me away for what I'm guessing is now three years (at the very least), or go home with my boyfriend who I know will take care of me in every way possible. Sorry, but I'm just not up for that first option today.

"What's on your mind?" Eric asks as he punches me lightly on the shoulder, the both of us on our way to his house.

"Hunh?" I blink, his punch drawing me out of my thoughts. I look up at him to see a smirk on his face, and I involuntarily smile back. "Oh. It's nothing. Don't worry about it."

Of course, being the bastard that he is sometimes, he doesn't let it go. "No, really. Tell me."

I shake my head in denial. "Seriously, it's not that important, Cartman." I can't help but let out a small chuckle.

To this he smirks again, which has me slightly confused. That is, until I hear what he says next. "Call me 'Eric.'" He folds his arms across his chest like it's some sort of command. I simply laugh at this.

"What, is that a rule now or something?"

"That's right." He says seriously, nodding his head. I roll my eyes in return, but thankfully he doesn't see this. "We're together now, so you have to call me by my first name." This he says in a snobbish tone, causing me become the slightest bit irritated. What he adds after that sets me off. "Bitch."

I snarl at this, crossing my own arms across my chest. "I'm not going to do it if you're going to call me that." I mutter, glaring at him darkly.

The look he gives me in return is one of slight shock. Most likely because I'm not following his rules. Again, most of this is some sick, twisted game of his. He's such a fucking kid. "But it's true, Kyle!" he whines, saying it like it's the simplest thing in the world. "Because we're together now, you're my bitch, and that means I get to call you just that! I'm only stating the truth."

For that he gets a kick in the shin. A hard kick. "Just because we're dating doesn't mean that I'm your bitch!" I shout, forgetting completely that there are probably people around who can hear us. "Who died and made you the alpha male?!"

Anger flashes across his face as he rubs his shin gingerly, his eyes looking up at me for once. "That is not something for you to joke about, Kyle!" he barks, standing up carefully to look down on me again. "Kenny died so that we could be together like he promised we would! Don't take his sacrifice lightly! That's just being a douchebag!"

Oh my god. My boyfriend is such. A fucking. Idiot.

I tell him just that. "You're a fucking idiot." I mutter, shaking my head and pinching my nose in something well beyond frustration. My anger level is at its highest peak once again. "That," my voice rises significantly, "Is _not_ what I meant! It was just a fucking expression, you moron!!!"

Before I let my eyes wander over his face to see his expression, I turn around and stomp off down the sidewalk, ignoring the strange glances from the people I pass by. It's nothing new, after all. And I know that the front door of his house is probably locked, and that I'm going to have to wait for him to get there and unlock is before I can go inside. But I don't care right now. I just... I don't care. I probably pissed him off anyway, so he won't be there to unlock the door when I get there, and that means I'll have to stand out in the cold and wait for him-

"I'm sorry." All of a sudden, I feel a pair of warm arms wrap around my waist, pulling me snug into an even warmer body.

I sigh, closing my eyes in further irritation. Looks like I didn't piss him off. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. "Eric, there are people watching us." I ground out lowly through my teeth. "Let go."

He chuckles behind me, nuzzling his nose against my neck. I shiver in return, mentally cursing myself for doing so. "That didn't stop you from shouting at me before, now did it?" I can feel him smirk against my neck.

I simply roll my eyes at this, not bothering to push him away as he hugs me tighter against him. "That's because I wasn't thinking, okay? I'm sorry. Please, just let go-"

"I love you."

At this, I instantly freeze over, feeling a lump form in my throat. My head feels like it's spinning, and I fear that my knees are about to give. I would hate to fall on the ground. Of course... Eric does have a pretty good grip on me. And he just said... Oh my god... I feel like I'm going to fucking faint or throw up or... I don't know what. He just said...

"I... love you, too." I don't know how in the hell I managed to whisper those words out of my mouth, but I did. Somehow, I did. Today's just full of miracles, isn't it?

And somehow, I can feel Cartman, or rather Eric beaming behind me. His joy is proven to me even more when he lifts me up like a feather, hugging me tighter than before; if that's even possible. Again, I make no move to push him away or to protest against him doing this, and that's mainly because I'm still in a trance-like shock from those three little words he said to me. Though... I suppose they're not really that little, are they?

"I'm so amazed!" he laughs, spinning me around in his arms before planting me back on the ground. He better not let go because if he does, I'll fall right down. "I wasn't expecting you to say it so soon! You're such a good little Jew!" At this he hugs me against him again, mushing my cheek against his chest. I'm getting the feeling that he's halfway treating this like a joke, halfway not. And knowing him... that's probably the case.

I finally snap out of shock, and manage to punch him in the side, though not as hard as when I kicked him awhile ago. "Shut up! Can you just take me home?! People are fucking watching us, you dunce!" I snarl, casting my eyes warily from side to side and behind me as best as I can. Sure enough, we're getting all kinds of funny stares from across the street. Now I'm just waiting for them all to rush over here to get a closer look. Maybe even get a stick or something and try to break us apart, since this isn't the most normal looking thing in the world. Even for South Park. It's just not normal.

"Fine." he sighs in defeat, pulling away from me. Either the stares have gotten to him, too, or he doesn't want to risk me getting mad at him again. Whatever the reason, he takes me by the arm, and starts to walk briskly down the sidewalk again. I'm irked to see that his house is just a few yards away. We could have been in there the whole time, doing this whole lovey-dovey crap, completely avoiding the stares of all these people-

Aw, fuck it. As my dear boyfriend would say: Who cares what they think? We can do whatever we want, regardless of their judgment. And maybe... maybe that's what he was trying to do by making us stand out there; making me go through that. Perhaps he knew that his house was just right there, and set up that whole little act just to get me to see that. To teach me a lesson; that lesson more specifically. Though I don't exactly credit him for being _that_ crafty, he does come up with some pretty good schemes sometimes. I should probably give him more credit. Of course... he could have just done it to get a good laugh. That's not unlike him, either.

I don't know what to think. I should just stop that; over thinking things. It never gets me anywhere anyway. And when I get myself into that little world, I always miss things-

"Are you coming in, or do you just want to stand out there and freeze to death?"

Just like that. Dammit.

"Yeah, yeah..." I mutter, scowling as I make my way past him and the door, and into the living room. I can't believe I did that again. That's something that I really need to stop doing.

"What's the matter with you?" he chuckles, closing the door softly behind him. As he walks by me and into the kitchen, he pats my back softly, causing me to sigh and give a small smile in response.

"Nothing, Eric." I say sweetly, sitting down on the couch. Just as I'm getting comfortable, setting the pillows in the right place and all, there's a knock on the front door. I don't make a move to answer it, though. That's something for Eric to do. After all, I'm the guest here.

Of course, I'm silly to think that. Eric's a lazy bastard, and won't do something if it isn't convenient for him. When the second and third knocks are heard, he calls out from the kitchen, "Kyle, are you fucking deaf! Answer the door!"

I hate him so much sometimes. Grumbling to myself, I get up off the couch and shuffle my way to the door. It hasn't crossed my mind until now that I should possibly be wondering who in the hell this could be. Chances are it's that mob of people I was thinking about earlier. The handful of people that were giving us those crazy stares who came along with their brothers, sisters, and cousins to see if what they really witnessed is true. 'Kyle Broflovski and Eric Cartman? No way!' 'I thought they hated each other!' 'No kidding! I would have expected them to rip each others' heads off before they ever started to think about dating each other!' Ugh, what a pain.

To my surprise, the people, or rather person I'm greeted by at the door isn't the mob I was envisioning. In fact, I wasn't expecting him to show up here at all. He's one of the last people I would have expected to see here.

"Hey, Kyle." Ike says with a smile. "What's up?"

Because I'm so shocked to see him, I gasp in surprise. "Ike!" I reply happily, "What are you doing here?!"

"That's the question I should be asking you." he frowns, crossing his arms.

I frown in return, rubbing the back of my neck nervously. "Oh yeah... about that." I chuckle, slapping myself mentally. Who knows what Ike's going to think about this. I know he was the one who helped me out with this and all, but there's still the fact that I haven't been home in what seems like forever. I solved the issue with Eric, but there's still one that I continue to run from. My mom. And I can already tell that he's a little bit disappointed with me because of that.

"Kyle, why haven't you come home yet?" he sighs, looking at me with pleading eyes. "Mom's almost going insane because we don't know where in the hell you are."

When he mentions this, I decide to turn the tables a bit on him. "Well, you obviously know." I say a little bitterly, though I don't really mean to.

He pauses for a second, looking away from me. "I had a pretty good idea."

After that, a brief silence falls between us before I decide to speak up again. "Look, Ike..." I start, not really knowing where to go with it, "A lot of stuff has been happening to me lately. I can't exactly go home because... well, I know mom will probably kill me."

"That's not true!" Ike barks a little loudly, stomping his foot childishly on the ground. "Kyle, she's more worried than angry! What did I tell you about running from your problems?"

Ah. I knew that was coming. What does he have to be such a sharp kid?

"I know, I know." I roll my eyes, acting like a stuck-up, teenage girl. "I guess I just... I don't know. I don't know." Shaking my head, I turn around to make my way to the couch, but bump into something before I can take my first step. Looking up, I see Eric staring down at me with a serious look on his face, and then only thing I can think now is how in the heck I didn't notice him standing behind me.

"Your brother's right." he says, taking a sip from the drink in his hand. "You need to face her before this gets any worse."

Great. Now it's two against one. "Since when are you the one to give advice like that?" I scoff, crossing my arms. There's no way I'm going to let him be right this time. Not again. There has to be someway to convince the both of them that I shouldn't go see her. Though... I know deep down that they're both right.

"Since I started caring about you, idiot. I already told you I love you; I don't want to have to say it again." He frowns, grabbing my arm and pulling me out the door past Ike. "Now, let's go do the right thing," he starts dragging me down the street, "And go talk to her."

"Eric, stop it!" I yell, trying to tug my arm out of his grasp. My effort is in vain, though. In response, he only pulls me harder, the two of us probably looking like complete idiots.

"No. Now stop being a bitch, and just come on."

"Goddammit, Eric, if you don't let go, I swear I'll...!" Well, I'm not sure what I'll do, but it'll be something he won't like.

Suddenly, Eric is stopped by someone pulling on his arm. I smirk at the irony, also half surprised that he actually stopped. "Cartman, let go of him. We can't just force him to go." Ike says calmly.

He scowls in return. "Of course we can. It's called 'dragging.'"

Ike shakes his head in irritation. "That's not what I meant. You can force him there physically, yes, but you can't prepare him mentally. That's something that he has to do on his own. Give him a little time."

"Smart ass..." Eric grumbles, letting go of my arm roughly. I blink and give him a look, brushing my arm off absentmindedly. Seriously, what has gotten into him now? Why is he so adamant about me talking to her? I would ask, but I'm afraid that I might step on a land mine. Him exploding on me is the last thing I want.

But time? Do I really need time to think this through? I already told myself that I should stop thinking about things so much. I know Ike knows me well, seeing as he's my brother and all, but he hasn't really been around me in the past few months. At least, not enough to see me change. I'd like to think that I've changed just a little bit, at least in terms of trying to get rid of my old habits. Most of it has been influenced by Eric, and whether that's a good thing or a bad thing doesn't matter. It's always good to try something new, and maybe I should just attack this thing head-on like he would. Confront my mother without worrying about it at all so I can get it over with.

Yeah. That's what I'll do.

"Look, guys..." I start, looking at them both. They in return look back at me, breaking their glares at each other. "You're both right. I... need to stop running from her. It's not going to solve itself, right? And Ike..." I look specifically at him, "I don't really think I need time before I do this. I'll just end up convincing myself to put it off, if not convincing myself to never do it at all. I just need to go now and get it over with."

They're both silent for a second. Ike smiles at me, nodding his head. "That's fine with me. Whatever you're most comfortable with, Kyle. It doesn't matter how you do it."

"Well, I'm not comfortable doing it at all." I say, turning around to walk down the street. "I just know it needs to be done." And the quicker it's done, the better. I can't guarantee that I'm going to repair my relationship with my mom, but nothing will happen if I don't try.

Eric and Ike follow me without a word.

* * *

"Okay." I let out a deep breath, placing my hand on the doorknob. "Here I go. Wish me luck, guys."

"We're coming in with you, you know." Ike reminds me. "I think you're going to need a little bit of back-up."

I freeze at this, turning around to look at him with widened eyes. "Don't tell me it's that bad?"

He shrugs in response, not really making me feel any better. "Well, no it's not, but you never know. You know our mom. She's pretty hard to convince sometimes."

That's definitely true. And that's something I know all too well. "Yeah, yeah..." I mumble, turning back around to face the door. I take in another deep breath and let it out, swallowing nothing because my mouth has gone completely dry. "Just don't butt in when it's not necessary. I can handle this without your help. Unless you really feel the need to say something, don't." I turn one last time to look at Eric since I'm expecting him to be the one that rule should apply to. "Okay, Eric?"

He gives me a light smirk, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. I got it."

Nodding back to him, I let out another breath and turn the knob. "Okay. Here I go..." I whisper, opening the door completely. I peek inside, and when I see no one in the living room, I walk in. Glancing around, I call out for my mom, feeling a shiver run down my spine as I do so. "Mom? Mom, you here?"

Almost instantly, I hear a call back, a billowing tone that belongs to none other than her. "Kyle?" I hear some pounding upstairs, and figure that she's running down the hall. Sure enough, she appears at the top of the stairs a few seconds later, shocked to see me. However, that shock soon turns to a look of slight anger when she looks down at me. It's anything but worried, like Ike claimed it would be.

I am so getting him for this later.

"Kyle, where in the world have you been?!" she shouts, rushing down the stairs as quickly as she can. She looks over me critically, checking to see if I'm okay. At least she's showing concern. That's a little better than I was expecting. Still, she's looking pretty furious, so I better keep my guard up. "And where in the world is your tracker?!" Ugh, of course she has to ask about that. "Do I have to start following you to school each day to make sure you're actually in it?! I called seven times yesterday, and all seven times they said that you were not there! You've been taught better than that, Kyle! A Broflovski does not skip school, let alone run away from home! You're going to be grounded for-"

"Mom, stop!!!" I shout. Amazingly, she stops her rant. "I can explain! There's been a lot of things going on lately, and I-"

"I would like to see you try, mister!" she cuts in, putting her hands on her hips. "What reason could you possibly have for leaving home for almost three months?!"

I pause, temporarily stunned at her intense vivacity. However, I quickly recover, trying to counter her in a way that will convince her to hear me out. "Look, if you'll just sit down and listen-"

I don't get very far as she cuts in again. "Listen?! Listen?!" she barks, throwing her arms up in the air. "What if what you tell me is a complete lie?! Kyle, you've become such a rebel that I don't know if I should trust you anymore!"

This makes me freeze in my tracks. It feels like my whole world had come crushing down on me, and I have no way to pick up the pieces. Doesn't... doesn't trust me? Is that how she really feels? She really thinks that she can't... No way. That can't be true. What are you supposed to do when your own mother doesn't trust you? I can't believe that-

Before I can finish that thought, I'm pulled forward by Eric. I begin to think that he's beginning to think that I'm fighting a losing battle here, and wants to get me out of here, until he smashes his lips against mine. Probably the stupidest thing he's done yet. I tell him to not step in unless it's absolutely necessary, and what does he do? He steps in. Not only that, but he kisses me. Right in front of my own mother, who right now is completely furious at me, and doesn't need to be provoked any further. Way to poke the bear, Eric.

I am so fucking dead.

"What what what?!!!" My mom shrieks. My stomach plummets as I hear her shout, and I immediately push myself away from Eric. I give him a look even though he isn't looking at me, and see that he looks quite satisfied. This pisses me off even more. Does he think this is a joke?!

"Get back with reality." he says, looking at my mom with narrowed eyes. "Like it or not, your son's changed, and there's nothing you can do about it. He's not a rebel, and he has a perfectly good reason why he was gone for so long. Mainly because he was afraid to come back to this prison you call a home." he spits. I look from him to my mom, and notice that she's just standing there, making no move to cut in. She's just... taking it. Everything that I was meaning to say, Eric's saying for me. And she's... actually listening. I can only hope that she hears him out all the way. "Maybe before you ask him why he's misbehaving so badly, you should ask yourself whether you're being a mother... or a tyrant."

A long, deadly silence follows that, and I have to close my eyes. I can't bear to see my mother's reaction. I just can't. Chances are that she'll blow up completely, and go on a rampage. Something that I'm not looking forward to. As much as I love Eric for doing that, I don't think it was the best thing to do.

"I," I hear her begin, in a slow, low voice, "...y_oung_ _man_, am not a tyrant!" Her voice has risen, and I expect the absolute worst. "I am _only_ doing what is right for my children!" I hear the stomp of a foot and cringe slightly.

"That doesn't mean you constantly monitor their every move, and treat them like inmates!" Eric counters back.

My mom narrows her eyes at him, placing her hands on her hips once again. "I'm sure you would know all about being in a prison." She spits condescendingly. I gulp, open my eyes, and brace myself for the brawl that's about to go down between my boyfriend and my mother. Only one will come out the winner, and that won't be without the cost of a _lot_ of blood. Oh god...

"Why..." Eric growls, his anger clearly rising, "You bitch!" Oh no. Here it comes...

Just as Eric is going to lash out at my mother, Ike steps in between the two of them. "Stop it!" he shouts, holding his arms out at his sides. "Please, stop it you two! You're acting like you're five years old!"

I see Eric stop and relax back into a standing position, but the tension is still there. Same with my mom. Miraculously, though, they've listened to Ike. The both of them stand there and wait from him to continue, as do I. When he's convinced that they've cooled down enough, he goes on.

"Look, mom." He addresses her, again in a pleading way. "You gotta understand. There are some things that you can't control. Kyle's almost eighteen years old." He points at me. "Only a few more months and he'll be an adult. He's growing into his own person, and whether he's becoming the person you want him to be or not shouldn't matter to you. You need to be there for him as a mom first; a provider; a nurturer. Enjoy the last few months you have with him as a child because he'll be gone before you know it. Accept him as he is, and don't judge. He's your son first and foremost, and you should love him regardless of who he's become."

Another long, stifling silence falls in the room, and I choose to look away at the ground. Again, I fear the worst. Knowing my mom, she'll probably just blow Ike's speech off, as well-spoken as it was, and go back to trying to punish me. Even though it would be really nice if she opens her eyes, and actually sees that Ike is completely right, I don't expect it to-

Suddenly, I hear a long sigh from my mother, followed by a, "I suppose... you are right, Ike."

Wait. Did I just hear that right?

I look back up to see her hugging him in what I guess is a thank you. She's smiling with the slightest glint of tears in her eyes, and I must say that I'm utterly shocked. Guess I had her all wrong. Maybe I've been away from home too long. It's like... I don't know her as well as I used to. Or perhaps... she's changing herself.

She walks over to me, pauses for a second, then pulls me into a hug as well. I blink, but am quick to hug her back, not daring to ruin this moment while I have it. "Kyle, I was wrong." she says, pulling back to look at me. "I was blinded by... everything that was going on. I was too caught up in trying to keep track of you that I forgot that I'm your mother. I'm so sorry."

"It's fine, mom." I say rather happily, glad to see everything finally falling into place. I hug her again quickly. "Really, I was wrong to run away without telling you. Like Eric said... I was scared to come back because I knew you would be furious at me."

"I know, bubbe." she hugs back, smiling at me sadly as we break apart again. "And I realize now that some of my punishments were a little extreme. I'm still a little angry that you left without telling me, but I won't punish you for it this time. You're almost an adult, and I need to start treating you like one."

A large sigh of relief finally leaves my lips as I smile back at her. My mind is still trying to process the fact that this is all really happening. I'm about to pinch myself just to make sure that this isn't just a dream. But I suppose this is something I can believe. Like I said, I like to think that I've changed. I think maybe she has, too. When she says that she believes she should start treating me like an adult, I can only say one thing in return:

"Thank you, mom."

* * *

A few days have passed since the incident with my mother, and though we're on good terms now, I convinced her that I'd rather stay with Eric than go back home. It was tough, but she finally accepted the fact that we are in fact together. Now, like Eric said, we just have to convince the rest of the town.

"No, no. You can't crawl out of the bag. You have to wait until we get home." Today's Eric's birthday, and I'm having a little trouble keeping his present hidden because, well... it's alive. A cat to be exact. A typical present to give to someone who's old pet died. He was devastated to hear that Mr. Kitty had passed while he was gone. And I know just how much he loved Mr. Kitty, so I decided to get him a new one. There's no guarantee that he'll even like it, but I have a feeling he will. I think under that hard shell, there's a big softie; he's bound to fall in love with this new cat sooner or later.

I finally reach his house, struggling to open the door while keeping the kitten out of sight. It's a tough thing to do. However, I manage, closing the door behind me with my foot. Eric is sitting on the couch, watching TV as usual. When he hears me step in, he smiles, immediately getting up to greet me.

"Hey, you." he says softly, kissing me on the lips.

I kiss back, greeting him in return. "Hey. Happy birthday." I look down at the bag in my hands, then back up at him. "I got you a present."

He feigns a look of shock, causing me to roll my eyes. "A present? For me? Oh, Kyle, you shouldn't have!" I cringe as a tiny mewl sounds from the bag. Damn cat won't shut up.

"Oh, I know how much you love presents." I scoff, walking over to sit down on the couch. "You can't fool me."

"What is it?" he asks eagerly, sitting down next to me. Another meow is heard, and I give up. Opening the bag, I prompt him to look.

"See for yourself." I smile, closing my eyes proudly. However, I wasn't exactly expecting the damn thing to jump out of the fucking bag. When I feel the bag rustle violently, I open my eyes. It's too late. The cat is already bounding across the room, and heading for the open window. Jesus Christ...

I leap up to chase it, hearing Eric call out behind me. He's chuckling. "Looks like you let the cat out of the bag too early, huh, Kyle!?"

I ignore his joke, and poke my head out the window, just in time to see the cat scramble its way up the tree. Goddammit. Why did this have to happen? I run back over to the front door, Eric beating me there, and trot outside to the tree the cat went up. It looks down at us and meows, its tail swishing in what I take as it celebrating a victory. Cocky bastard...

"Hey, fellas! What's goin' on?" I look up to see Butters heading towards us, waving cheerily. I wave back briefly before looking back up at the cat, thinking of some way to get it down. I guess I could climb the tree...

"Hey, Butters." Eric says with what sounds like a smirk in his tone. "Kyle got me a present. Isn't it nice?" I look over at him to see, of course that smirk on his face, and his finger pointing up at the cat. I snarl, punching him on the shoulder harshly.

"Shut up, and help me figure out how to get the damned thing down."

"Oh, that's cool, Kyle!" Butters says happily, looking up at the cat as well. "But you really should get him down soon. Wuh-he might get lonely up there." Oh, but I'm sure the cat likes its space. That's probably the reason it took off in the first place. "Anyway, I got you a present, too, Eric!" Eric takes the present, a typical wrapped box. "I-I hope you like it!"

"Thanks, Butters." he says, putting it under his arm. "I'll open it later. First I gotta help bitchy here get this cat down."

Before I can punch the crap out of him for that, he walks off, probably looking for a ladder. At least he's finally making himself useful. Feeling too awkward standing here with Butters, I continue to look up at the cat instead of trying to start a conversation with him. Not that it matters because he starts one up anyway.

"So, everything finally goin' okay?" he asks softly, his voice having lost that cheery, happy-go-lucky tone. It's now replaced with a more serious one.

I blink and look over at him, nodding my head with a small smile. "Yeah. Finally. Craig's in jail, my mom and I are on good terms again, and Eric and I are together. I don't know if it can get any better than this."

He blinks at the mention of Craig, tilting his head to the side. I look at him curiously, figuring that he;s about to say something. "Did I ever tell you why Craig acted like he did?"

Now that's a shocker. A complete... and total shocker. "You_ knew?!!!_" I shout, causing him to jump in place. Don't tell me that's what he said, Please tell me that's not what he said. If he knew this whole fucking time...!

"Wuh-yeah. I-I guess I kinda forgot." he says, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "Sorry." He beams at me, not acting scared in the least.

"That's... fine." I say, looking at him cautiously. "But tell me what the deal was. What in the hell was wrong with him?"

Butters sighs and looks down at his shirt, fiddling with it between his fingers. "He kinda.... well, he kinda liked you. Well, h-he kinda liked all the boys in our grade. Girls, too. H-He was more than bi-curious. More like... tri-curious, or somethin'. A-and he was super sore b-because of what your mom started. Since he was bein' watched so often, his parents would know what he was doin' during school, and he decided to take it out on you because he was gettin' in trouble for it. It was too much for him to deal with the restrictions his parents were givin' him, so he just snapped."

I take this all in as he finishes, nodding my head. Should have guessed that. Everyone's different, I guess, and it only takes so much to push someone over the limit. I just never expected Craig to ever snap. He always seemed so calm. Pissed off a lot of times since he gave everyone and their brother the finger, but calm, too.

A sigh is soon heard, followed by the crunching of snow. "Butters, shouldn't you be getting home or something?" I hear Eric say behind me. We both turn around to face him. He's come back with a ladder, which immediately reminds me of the cat still sitting in the tree.

"O-oh, right!" Butters jumps, trotting off. "I-I should! I should have been home ten minutes ago! Oh hamburgers, my dad is gonna kill me!" He yelps, running off down the street towards his house. I watch him run off for a second, turning back to Eric and giving him a questioning look.

"You just said that to get rid of him, didn't you?"

He merely shrugs, setting the ladder securely against the side of the house. "And what if I did? I only left to get this ladder so that I wouldn't have to stand here and listen to his non-stop chatter. I can get onto that branch from my bedroom window."

"You are such an asshole." I scowl, tugging on his sleeve as he moves to walk back into the house. "And no, you are not going to do that. I'm not letting you fall. You might break your leg."

"And no, I'm not listening to you, dear." he smiles, pecking me on the cheek. "Trust me. I've done it plenty of times before, and I haven't fallen once."

"Sure you haven't." I roll my eyes, following him inside. "I'm going with you anyway. If you do happen to slip, I'll at least be there to try and catch you."

"Aren't you so sweet." he says in a more sarcastic tone than anything, trotting up the stairs. I roll my eyes again and follow him up, walking into his room just as he's opening the window. He better hurry up and get this done soon. It's getting late, and the sun's starting to set.

I watch him like a hawk as he places one foot on the sill, hoisting himself up and putting that same foot out onto the tree branch. Feeling that he's not going to make it at all, I trot up behind him, carefully placing my hands around his waist so as not to scare him. He doesn't react to that, so I suppose it's fine with him. Amazingly, with the support of tree branches above him, he makes it onto the branch without faltering at all. I breathe a sigh of relief, something he hears and chuckles at.

"Oh, it wasn't that hard. Here, try it for yourself." He holds his hand out to me, a confident smirk on his face.

I in return shake my head deliberately, crossing my arms across my chest. "No way." I say, backing up a bit.

He rolls his eyes and inches forward on the branch, scaring me a bit. Fearing again that the branch is going to break under his weight, and ultimately cause him to fall, I reach forward to grab onto him just in case.

Bad idea. He reaches forward as well, grabbing onto my arm and yanking me forward. In an effort to save myself, I land one foot on the branch outside. This of course, gives him even more advantage to pull me out. He's sat down on the branch, so he's completely supported, making it easier for him to lift me out and plant me down in front of him. It doesn't help that I'm light as a feather to him, either.

My heart is pounding in my chest as a result of my struggle. I take a moment to catch my breath before I turn around to scold him. "You asshole! Don't do that ever again!" My face is probably beet red from anger and a little bit of something else.

He chuckles heartily, hugging me around my waist and pecking my cheek in a playful manner. "Oh, shut up. You're fine. See?" He pats me on the back, irritating me even more. I swat at him, trying to get him to stop, but he only laughs harder. Again, everything's a fucking game to him, I swear...

Something rustles in the tree, and it's then that I remember the very reason we came up here in the first place. I glance down only to see a gray, fluffy creature sliding itself down the trunk, landing on its feet, and bounding off behind the house.

Great. Just fucking great.

I sigh in defeat, leaning back against Eric and closing my eyes. "I should have figured that would happen." I groan, slapping a hand to my forehead. Eric chuckles again behind me, his body shaking slightly as he laughs.

"Don't worry about it." He says softly, rubbing my shoulder in comfort. A small smile forms on my face as he does this. "We'll try to find it tomorrow. And if we don't, who cares? It's just a cat."

At this I frown, opening my eyes and looking at the intense colors of the setting sun in front of me."Yeah, I know. But I got that as a present for you. I hate to see it run off. I thought of it as something special to give you."

His hand moves down to my arm, rubbing it up and down, his other arm wrapped around my waist. "Oh, it's not that special. Honestly, I'd rather be sitting here with you than looking for a damned cat that won't stay put. That's more special to me."

I turn to look at him, seeing him smiling brightly at me. His brilliant smile is enhanced by the sun reflecting on his face, and that only serves to bring just as bright a smile out of me. Turning my body around completely, I chuckle at him before wrapping my arms around him in a tight hug, burying my face into his chest.

"Aren't you so sweet?" I whisper, a warm feeling washing over me as he holds me close against him. I feel his nose pressed against my head as he hugs me tighter, his hands rubbing my back softly.

"I try." he whispers back with a soft laugh, pulling me back gently and leading my face up for a kiss. I chuckle and close my eyes, waiting for our lips to meet-

Wait... What's that?

I swear... I can hear a voice, but... Nah. I must be hearing things. No one's out here except us. I shrug it off as nothing and return my thoughts to Eric, but in the next few seconds as our lips press together, I still can't help but think I'm hearing someone's voice saying:

"_Cartman and Kyle sitting in a tree..."_

* * *

There you have it. For real this time. It's kind of sad seeing this fic coming to a close. At least, it is for me. I truly enjoyed every minute of writing this (even the parts that I got stuck XD), and I must say to each and everyone of you who read this story that I truly appreciate your support. You made the experience so much more fun, and the outcome so much more worthwhile. Thank you so much for sticking with it! And if you have the time to drop some feedback by, please do so. Now that the story's finally finished, I would like to hear what you thought of it, and if I did any kind of justice to the fandom at all. After all, this is my first Kyman story, and any suggestions for improvement are truly appreciated.

So yeah. Like I said before, look forward to Cartman's version of this story. I'll try to start it as soon as I can. Thank you all so much again, and happy holidays! I hope you all have a wonderful break (if you have some time off XD). I love you all, and I'll see you soon!

And three guesses as to who's speaking that last line. ;D

Until next time,

-Soul Flash


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